


What's Your Fantasy?

by loudmouthgeek



Series: Fantasy-verse [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-11-17 15:08:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 105,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loudmouthgeek/pseuds/loudmouthgeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brittany always wondered what it was like to kiss a vampire, then Tina dressed up like one. AU post-Theatricality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Vampires and Cherries

Tina was alone at her locker. Brittany had been waiting for two days for a chance to talk to her alone. Now was her time; Brittany strode quickly over to her and said, “Hey, Tina, I kinda need to ask you a really sorta big favor, and it’s totally okay if you wanna say no. I totally won’t be mad, maybe a little bit sad but totally not mad, k?”

Tina smiled at Brittany's rambling, “Sure, Brit, ask me. Do you need help with your homework?”

“Oh, no, Quinn and Santana help me with all my homework, but it’s totally sweet and super awesome of you to offer.”

“So what’s the favor, Brittany?”

“It’s just that I’ve kinda always wanted to know what it’s like to kiss a vampire.”

Tina facepalmed at this but gently reminded herself to be nice. It’s just Brittany being Brittany. Just explain and be nice. “Brit, sweetie, I’m not a vampire. This is just the way I like to dress.” _Wait, shouldn’t I also be mentioning something about not being gay and being with Artie?_

Brittany interrupted her thoughts, “Duh, I totally know that. I mean it’s completely daytime outside, and I’ve seen you eat the spaghetti in the cafeteria which totally has garlic in it, and you have a mirror in your locker and I can see your reflection. I’m not stupid Tina.”

Tina smiled once again at Brittany’s indisputable logic. Brittany continued, “I know you aren’t a vampire, Tina, but you were a vampire last week when you made Figgins let you start dressing like you again, which was totally hot and totally badass, by the way, so you could be a vampire again if you wanted to, right? And if you did want to be a vampire again, I would totally want to get my lady kisses on with you while you were.”

“So you’re talking about a fantasy?” Tina asked as she pulled the last of her afternoon books out of her locker, working them into her backpack.

“Totally, fantasies are super fun. We can do one for you if you like our Lady Vampire Kisses.”

Tina closed her locker and the two girls started walking toward Tina’s next class. “Well, I’m kinda with Artie. I mean, I guess.” _I’m also not gay, why haven’t I mentioned that yet? I really feel like that should have come up by now._ “I mean, we’ve never been out on a date. We mostly just hang out at his house and make out and watch TV.”

“That sounds like what me and San do, and she’s pretty clear that we aren’t dating. Does he ever do boyfriend things like give you flowers or sing to you or something?”

“No,” Tina responded flatly.

“Well,” Brittany began, “Santana always says that sex isn’t dating, so if sex isn’t dating, then I don’t think kissing counts as dating either since you pretty much have to kiss to have sex and sex isn’t dating, so if you aren’t going out on dates and he doesn’t do boyfriend things, then I really don’t think you’re dating.”

Tina was blushing pretty heavily at the topic of sex and how causally the topic slipped from Brittany’s tongue, but once again, however, she couldn’t really argue with Brittany’s logic about the status of her relationship with Artie. “I don’t know, Brit. Can I think about it and get back to you?” _Why am I thinking about this? I’m NOT gay._

“Oh, totally!” Brittany responded emphatically, “T, I want to do this with you like really a lot, but I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do, k? It’s just a game; it’s just supposed to be fun, if it’s not fun for us both we won’t play.”

_Hmm, a game? That’s interesting._ “Just a game, I think I like that,” Tina said with a smile stretching across her face. As they reached Tina’s AP History class, she said, “Thanks for being patient, Britt. I’ll let you know at Glee today, okay?”

Brittany smiled at her, “Super okay,” and with that she turned and headed for her class.

Twenty minutes later, in the middle of class Tina’s phone vibrated in her backpack. She quietly fished it out and looked at the new text message.

**From Brittany: Forgot to tell u, im super awesome at kissing, u will totally like it :) –B**

**To Brittany: U better b super awesome if u want 2 make out w daughter of The Vampire King :P :) –T**

**From Brittany: IKR! :D –B**

____________

After sixth period Tina was at her locker once again, this time depositing all of her books before heading to Glee. This time it was Artie that approached her. “Hey, woman, what you got going on after school?”

“I don’t know. I’ve got a little bit of homework to do, nothing major. Why?”

“You wanna come over to the house, get our Battlestar on?”

Recalling her conversation with Brittany earlier, Tina sighed, “Isn’t that kinda all we ever do?”

“You like Battlestar, don’t you? You said you did.”

“No, I do,” she replied, her voice weary, “It’s a good show, I just…”

“More like the best show ever,” Artie interjected.

_He’s not even listening. He wants to watch Battlestar and make out; it has absolutely nothing to do with me. It could be any girl in the world and he’d be just as happy. I’m not his girlfriend; I’m a set of willing lips. Brittany actually wants to kiss me._ “Actually Artie, Brittany already invited me to hang out with her tonight.”

“Brittany? Cheerios Brittany?”

“Yeah, she said something about wanting to work on something for Glee Club together.” _Why did I say that? Now we’re going to have to actually do something for Glee Club. Why didn’t I just say that it’s family night? Why didn’t I just tell him I was busy with homework?_

“But Mr. Shue hasn’t even told us our assignments for the week.”

“I think she wanted us to put something together that we could do at Regionals.” _Tina, for the love of God stop talking. What is wrong with you? Stop digging yourself into a hole with this. You don’t owe him any sort of in depth explanation. You don’t want to watch TV with him tonight. That’s all he needs to know._

“Okay,” Artie replied, leaving slightly confused.

Tina left and headed for the choir room. When she arrived, only Rachel, Mercedes, and Kurt had arrived ahead of her, so she waited outside the door. A couple minutes later, Santana and Brittany arrived together. Seeing Tina waiting on her, Brittany turned to Santana, “San, I need to talk to Tina, I’ll see you inside.”

“What do you need to talk to Stutters about?”

“Don’t be mean, San. Tina’s super nice, and I just gotta talk to her about something.”

“Whatevs, B,” Santana said, quickly losing interest in the conversation and walking into the choir room.

Brittany quickly made her way over to Tina who said, “So you have Cheerios practice after school today, right?”

“Yeah, til 5.”

“My parents are going to a thing at the country club at 6. Do you want to come over tonight? I think I might turn back into a vampire for the evening?” _Was that flirty? Am I flirting with Brittany?_

“Oh my gosh, yes. This is going to be so much fun,” Brittany was very excited but managed to keep her voice down. 

“Okay, there’s just one thing. I told Artie that we were working on something for Glee, so at some point we’ll actually have to put together a song we can do.” 

Brittany, who was already smiling brightly at the prospect of getting her Lady Vampire Kisses on, actually started bouncing hearing this. “You want to sing with me, too? This is going to be the most super awesome night ever.” With that Brittany flung her arms around Tina and squeezed for all she was worth. Tina hugged back. _Omigod. Best. Hug. Ever._

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting in Glee. Rachel was going on about Regionals, or so Tina thought, she wasn’t paying much attention. _I can’t believe I just blew off Artie to make plans to make out with a girl. I’m going to kiss a girl tonight, and she assures me that I’ll like it. Oh my God, my audition song. I wonder if Brittany tastes like cherry chapstick. What am I talking about Brittany has every flavor chapstick imaginable._ Tina discreetly retrieved her phone and texted Brittany.  
 **To Brittany: B, ur the queen of lip smackers, rite?**

Tina saw Brittany light up as she read the message. She very quickly responded. 

**From Brittany: 4 SURE!**

**To Brittany: Can u wear cherry 2nite? :)**

_**From Brittany: Cherry is totally my fav!!!** _


	2. Patiently Waiting to Explode

Tina had left school excited at the prospects the evening held. She’d overheard the brief conversation between Brittany and Santana before Glee, and Santana seemed to know nothing about Brittany and Tina’s evening plans, which quelled most of Tina’s fears that this was all some cruel joke that ended with her being humiliated. She knew Brittany, on her own, would never be so purposefully hurtful but she could sometimes get talked into things that she wouldn’t normally do when Santana was involved.

                When she’d arrived home she quickly set about finishing the little bit of homework she had left from Algebra, then had gone about tidying up her bedroom but Tina kept it pretty clean most of the time so that didn’t eat up much time either. She looked at the clock. _Shit! 3:45! Brittany won’t be here for over two hours. What am I going to do with myself until then?_

                Tina turned her iTunes on shuffle and picked up her Kindle to try to get lost in reading. She was a little over half way through _The Count of Monte Cristo_ and was, thus far, really enjoying it. The book really had everything, love and passion, intrigue, epic fight scenes, a little bit of social satire. _I’m definitely naming my first daughter Haydèe._ For fairly obvious reasons, Tina was having trouble concentrating and just couldn’t get into it.

                She turned on the TV hoping that she’d find something to distract her, but all that was on this early were re-runs of 90’s sitcoms and trash talk shows. She knew she would be watching the trash talk shows if she were on the phone with Mercedes. _Mercedes! Of course, call Mercedes, talk for hours and Brittany will be here before I know it. OMG! Mercedes, The Count of Monte Cristo. Gotta remember to ask her if she’s named after Mercedes Herrera._ Tina grabbed her phone and shot off a quick text.

**To Mercedes:  Cedes, what’s up? –T**

**From Mercedes: Can’t talk now, T. Taking Eddie to ER.**

**To Mercedes: OMG! Is he ok?!**

**From Mercedes: Fell off bed, hit head, seems fine. Moms worried.**

**From Mercedes: We’re here, will txt when we no 4 sure.**

**To Mercedes: Kthx. *fingers crossed* -T**

When no reply came, Tina assumed that Mercedes shut off her phone. _I hope Eddie’s okay. He’s the least obnoxious little brother I’ve ever met. Wait, Eddie. Mercedes little brother is named Edmond. Guess that clears up where Mercedes’ name comes from. Makes sense, Mr. and Mrs. Jones don’t really seem the type to name their kid after a car._

                Tina thought she would pour through her iTunes library for a song appropriate to their assignment that she and Brittany could do. _Crap! What was the assignment? I can’t believe I zoned out through **all** of Glee._ At that moment, Tina noticed that her iTunes library had shuffled to “The Girl is On My Mind” by The Black Keys. _HA! iTunes has become the soundtrack of my life all the sudden! Okay bite the bullet and get the Glee assignment from Rachel. Just remember, no text-speak._

**To Rachel: Don’t kill me, but I completely missed the assignment in Glee today. I have a lot on my mind and completely zoned. -T**

**From Rachel: Funk. –RBB**

**To Rachel: Like Rick James? George Clinton? Sly Stone? –T**

**From Rachel: The same. –RBB**

**To Rachel: I can’t do funk? -T**

**From Rachel: Nor can I, nor do I imagine can Finn, Noah, Kurt, Brittany, Santana, Quinn (although she asserts otherwise), and while I have no clue of the vocal ranges of Mike or Matt, it would seem that the assignment is geared entirely towards Mercedes and Artie. –RBB**

**To Rachel: That’s sort of dumb. –T**

**From Rachel: It is completely dumb, although, I must say I would have thought you’d be happy for a chance for your boyfriend to take the spotlight. -RBB**

**To Rachel: Artie’s not my boyfriend**

                _Where did that come from all of a sudden?_

**To Rachel: Or, idk, maybe he still is, but I’m not happy with him at the moment. –T**

**From Rachel: I’m very sorry to hear that, Tina. I hope things work out between the two of you. –RBB**

**To Rachel: Thanks for saying, but at this point I’m not even sure I want them to. –T**

**From Rachel: I’m sorry to hear that as well. –RBB**

**To Rachel: Thanks. Brittany is suppose to be over soon, she wants to work together on something. Can we skip the funk and maybe work on something for Regionals, Captain? -T**

**From Rachel: That sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all day. Are you and Brittany friends? -RBB**

**To Rachel: Not really, not yet anyway. She just came up to me today after lunch and said she wanted to do this. -T**

**From Rachel: This isn’t some horrible trick to embarrass and humiliate you, is it? -RBB**

**To Rachel: The thought has crossed my mind, but Santana didn’t seem to know anything about it, so I don’t think it is. -T**

**From Brittany: Out of practice, omw home 2 chng and eat, super hungry! Then brt, jerk chicken rulz!  -B**

**From Rachel: I hope, then, for your sake that is true. Brittany seems eminently personable when not under the influence of Santana and/or Coach Sylvester. -RBB**

**To Brittany: Jerk chicken is crazy awesome, Brit. Enjoy. C u when u get here. -T**

**To Rachel: I agree. She’s about to be on her way over, I should get ready. -T**

**To Brittany: Do u no where I liv? -T**

**From Rachel: Have fun. -RBB**

**To Rachel: Thanks. :) -T**

**From Brittany: Totally. The big white house on Pine. San wanted 2 tp in 1time. I tot made her promise not 2 –B**

**To Brittany: I appreciate it. I need to start turning into a vampire now. –T**

**From Brittany: Awesome! Can’t wait! :) -B**

Tina made her way out of her room and downstairs. “Mom?”

                “Back here, sweetie,” she heard her mother’s response from the back of the house, most likely her home office. Tina made her way back to the source.

                “Hey, Mom, working on anything interesting?

                “It’s tax law, honey, there’s nothing interesting about it.”

                _I’m the daughter of a Jewish tax lawyer and an Asian CPA, there’s a horribly racist joke in there if one were so inclined to make it. Speaking of which, Santana is **never** meeting my parents. _ “My friend Brittany, from Glee Club, is going to come by this evening. We’re working on a song for showcase at Regionals.”

                “Do I know Brittany?”

                “No, I don’t think so. I mean, you might have seen her at Sectionals,” Tina responded, “Tall, pretty, blonde, phenomenal dancer.”

                Naomi Cohen looked like she was trying to recall the girl, but seemingly came up empty, “Doesn’t ring a bell, but it’s fine, I trust your judgment in friends. I already left some cash on the kitchen counter; you girls order a pizza or get some takeout,” Naomi said. “Don’t cook,” she added with a smirk.

                “No worries on that front, Mom. After last time, I’m pretty sure I’m not cooking again ever. Thanks for the money,” Tina said as she walked out of her mother’s office.

                “Tina,” Naomi called after her.

                Reappearing in the doorway she said, “Yeah, Mom?”

                “I feel compelled as your mother to remind you that we’re trusting you in the house, unsupervised, with someone we don’t know. We expect you to behave appropriately.”

                “Oh my God, Mom, Brittany is just a friend, I’m not gay.” _It’s about time I actually spit that out. The effect of it is somewhat lessened by knowing that I am currently scheming… yeah, scheming is definitely an appropriate word for it at this point… scheming to spend most of the evening making out with the hottest girl in school. Whoa! Most of the evening? Hottest girl in school? Where did these phrases come from?_

                “Yyyyeahhhh,” Naomi started, “see, I actually meant don’t throw a party.” _Crap._ “However, seeing as you brought it up, don’t get yourself into a physical situation that you aren’t emotionally ready to deal with, either. Your sexuality isn’t at issue, being able to deal with and fully understand your sexuality is.”

                Tina, thoroughly embarrassed, eyes firmly planted on her shoes, said, “Don’thavesexwithBrittanygotit.”

                “Don’t do _anything_ you aren’t comfortable doing,” Naomi corrected, “Now before I kill you with embarrassment, will you please go upstairs and tell your father that if we don’t leave in the next ten minutes, we’re going to be late.”

                “Anything to be able to walk out of this room right now,” she said, doing exactly that.

                Half an hour later, Tina had settled on wearing a three quarter length velvet halter dress, black with dark violet accents, which she had bought several months ago but hadn’t had the occasion, or the courage, to actually wear yet with fishnet stockings and calf length steel-toed boots. Elbow length black arm warmers helped her deal with the bare shoulders and arms that she wasn’t sure she was 100% okay with. She also had her cloak that she’d worn to her encounter with Principal Figgins that had touched off this whole vampire thing, but she needed to get her fangs in first, and they simply were no co-operating. Then the doorbell rang. “One second!” Tina yelled.

Approximately one second later, the doorbell rang again. _Yep, definitely Brittany._ “I’ll be right there, Brit!” she yelled again. She returned the uncooperative fang to its box for the time being, walked out of her room, down the stairs to the front door, and opened it. As soon as she did, her jaw dropped open. Tina was definitely not use to seeing Brittany out of her Cheerios uniform or their Glee costumes. At present, her blonde hair was down and loose, she was wearing a _very_ tight, sleeveless, black Usher t-shirt, gray skinny jeans and black high heeled boots. _Did I say hottest girl in school? I think I meant hottest girl in the state. I may not be gay, but I’m pretty sure I’m gay for Brittany._


	3. Vampires Aren't Vampires Without Their Fangs

“T, you look super hot in your sexy vampire dress!” **_I_** _look hot? The tall, blonde Goddess of Beauty that just walked into my house says **I** look hot? Well, my jaw hit the floor when I saw her, so by now it must be somewhere in the basement. I have butterflies in my stomach, actual metaphorical butterflies just looking at her, but she thinks **I’m** hot? _ “I’m so totally ready to get my Lady Vampire Kisses on, but first I wanted to give you this,” Brittany said, as she produced a rather large Tupperware dish from behind her back, and handed it to Tina.

                “What is it, Bri- Wow! It’s really warm,” Tina said reacting to the heat emanating from the bowl.

                “Jerk chicken, rice, and black beans, which, _I know_ , sounds mega racist but it’s totally not, my mom always makes way too much so there always like tons of leftovers, and it sounded like you really liked jerk chicken on the phone, plus you were super sweet to agree to help me with my fantasy so I figured I should bring you a whole bunch of it to say thanks.”

                “Brit, this is amazing,” Tina responded while prying the lid off of what could accurately be described as a tub of jerk chicken. Then it hit her, “Omigod, Brittany, this is the most amazing thing I’ve smelled my entire life! Oh, we need forks and drinks! Oh God, where are my manners? Come on in here, have a seat.”

                The two girls made their way into the Cohen-Chang’s family room. Brittany sat on the couch. Tina deposited the large bowl of food on the coffee table and walked through the adjoining formal dining room, into the kitchen. “Can I offer you something to drink, Britt?”

                “Water, please.”

                “Coming right up.” When Tina reappeared in the family room she had two forks, two napkins, and a bottle of water for Brittany, and a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper for herself.

                “My mom says sodas are super bad you.”

                “Your mom is absolutely right, Brittany. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to give them up entirely just yet. I use to drink them all the time, now I’m down to one or two a day. Eventually I’ll be able to stop completely.”

                Sitting down beside her, Tina handed the water to Brittany and then Tina offered her the extra fork and napkin, “Um, I already ate at home. I’m _so_ sorry, Tina. I should have waited for you…”

                “No! Nonono. You were having dinner with your family, you shouldn’t have waited. It’s just,” Tina continued somewhat sheepishly, “could you, maybe, eat a couple of bites more with me, just so I don’t feel like a disgusting fat cow stuffing my face in front of you?”

                “Totally,” Brittany responded with a smile, accepting the fork and napkin, “But you’re _so_ not fat, Tina. You’re a super sexy vampire princess.”

                Tina smiled at this and started digging into the delightful smelling food, “Thanks, Brittany, for the complement and for the food.”

                “You’re welcome,” the blonde cheerleader said. After a beat, she added, “Also cows can’t stuff their faces; they don’t have hands, which is sad in a way cuz it means they can’t hold hands with their friends but it also means they don’t have to take tests since they can’t hold a pencil. San’s Mami would say it’s a mixed blessing.”

                “My mom would say the same thing,” Tina agreed, “You’re totally right, Brit.” Tina took a bite of the chicken at last. Her eyes went wide, “This is the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten! My God, your mom made all this?”

                “My Aunt Susan made the beans, but, yeah.”

                “Well, it’s amazing,” Tina said as she continued to eat. She swallowed her mouthful and said, “You were wrong about one thing, though. I’m not a vampire yet. I can’t get my fangs to stick.”

                “No way, we can’t do Lady Vampire Kisses if you aren’t a vampire, and vampires aren’t vampires without their fangs. “

                “My feelings exactly, so I’m thinking I need to go get some new adhesive. Do you want to come with me to the costume shop?”

                “A costume shop?” Brittany’s eyes lit up, “That sounds super fun.”

                “Awesome, because I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m kind of really excited to do this. I think it’s going to be really fun.”

                “Crazy fun,” Brittany interjected.

                “Also, I really need to stop eating this chicken soon because if I don’t, I’m going to fall in love with it and have to marry it.”

                “Don’t be silly, Tina. You can’t marry chicken, only Gonzo can do that. Plus that chicken is dead, which is super sad for the chicken but super awesome for us cuz it tastes so good, and what kind of husband or wife would a dead chicken make?”

                Getting the distinct impression from the smile on her face that Brittany was joking, Tina replied, “I know, right? You ask it to fold laundry, and it just lays there. You ask it to take out the trash and it just lays there.” Both girls laughed heavily.

                For the trip to the costume shop, they took Brittany’s car. Brittany drove while Tina played DJ on Brittany’s iPod. To try to get an idea of Brittany’s vocal range, Tina had Brittany sing along with the songs she played. Very quickly Tina found that for a girl who had never sang more than back-up to any Glee songs, Brittany had a great voice. She more than held her own singing along to Pink, Gwen Stefani, and Ke$ha on the ten minute drive.  _I’m not sure if I should be proud of her or threatened by her ridiculous talent. Oh crap, I’m turning into Rachel! No! Nonono! Definitely proud of her. Definitely!_

                As soon as they set foot inside The Costume Emporium, Brittany was like a little kid in a candy shop, bouncing from one thing to the next. There was a lot to look at. The building was by no means small and it was completely packed with costumes, masks, wigs, make-up, prostheses, party supplies, and seasonal decorations. “Tina, this place is like crazy awesome ninja heaven. I totally want to try on like everything.”

                “Maybe some other time, Brit,” Tina responded, “Remember we’ve already got a very busy night ahead of us.” She turned her attention to the proprietor of the store, sitting behind the counter positioned more or less in the middle of the store, “Hey, Gerry.”

                “Hey, Tina, you needing anything specific today or just shopping?”

                “Yeah, the denture cream isn’t working on my fangs anymore. I need something else,” Tina said as she walked over to where she knew the various adhesives were stocked, “And I need it to be quick setting, I’ve got plans this evening, I don’t want to spend an hour holding my teeth in place.”

                Gerry responded as he walked to where Tina was, “The only thing I got that’s quick setting that is safe to use in your mouth is a little more long lasting than you might like.” He pulled a tube off the hook off the shelf handing it to Tina.

                “How long would I be stuck with them?”

                “Twenty four to thirty six hours. On your skin, you can just use acetone to dissolve it, but, y’know, acetone in your mouth and all.”

                “Right,” she said. _So I’d have to wear them to school. Not a deal breaker. I could think of some interesting things to do with my fangs at school. Hey, idea!_ “Give me just a sec, Gerry,” Tina said as she walked over to Brittany who was trying on a rainbow clown wig. “Hey, Brit, the only glue they have would force me to keep the fangs in during school tomorrow…”

                Brittany frowned at this news but quickly interjected, “We can do this some other time.”

                “I’ve got a better idea. You said if I agree to tonight we do a fantasy for me.”

                “I said if you liked our Lady Vampire Kisses, we could.”

                “I thought you already promised me I’d like kissing you. You’re not taking back your promise, are you?” Tina asked with a smile.

                Brittany smiled back, “Never. What’s your fantasy?”

                “I know that you don’t have Cheerios practice tomorrow. Do you have to wear your Cheerios uniform on off days?”

                “I usually wear it, but I don’t _have_ to, no.”

                “Will you dress Goth for me tomorrow?”

                Brittany’s eyes widened, she smiled and said, “That would be super hot. I’m totally doing it. We can totally use the costumes for our song in Glee. We can do something crazy creepy dressed like vampires. You’ll be the sexy vampire princess and I’ll totally be your vampire slave, or maybe just your pet because Mercedes and Matt and San would probably get super pissed if we said ‘slave’ around them.”

                “Good call, Britt. I think I know a great song.”

                “You can even totally bite my neck so it looks like you turned me into a vampire.”

                “Um, I’m pretty sure my fangs aren’t sharp enough to leave bite wounds and even if they were, it really not safe. Remember, vampires kill people that way.”

                Realization hit Brittany quickly, “Oh, right, you’re so totally super smart, T.”

                “We _can_ get prosthetics, however.”

                Brittany looked confused, “Tina, if you want to have sexy times, I’m totally down, but we don’t need condoms; we’re both girls.”

                Tina’s face was instantly bright red, “No, Britt, prosthetics are fake body parts. In this case I mean pretend bite wounds. Look they’re right over here.” The pair walked over one aisle and looked into a display case. “See, we stick them on your neck and then put make-up all around to make it look like I bit you but without the risk of you bleeding to death.”

                Brittany smiled sweetly and said, “This is gonna be sooooo much fun.”

                Tina smiled to match Brittany’s and responded, “ _Yeah_ , it is. I’m gonna go put my fangs in, you look around for a dress or costume that you think a vampire pet should have. I’ll be right back.”

                Ten minutes later, Tina’s fangs were firmly bonded to her teeth. She sat inspecting them at the sample make-up table set up in the back of the store. _Vampire Tina is complete. I am minutes away from making out with a girl. With Brittany. How is this even happening? If someone had told me this morning, that I would have plans to kiss Brittany by the end of the day, I’d have said they were on drugs, and now not only is it true, but I’m actually looking forward to it. What a crazy day!_

                When she was satisfied with the state of her fangs, Tina went to look for Brittany finding her at the register checking out. “Done shopping already?”

                “Yep,” Brittany responded proudly, “I found the most completely perfect outfit right away. I’ll show you when we get back to your house. Did you get your fangs in?” In lieu of answering, Tina just smiled big enough for the fangs to be seen. Without warning or hesitation, Brittany reached up to cup Tina’s cheek, tilted her head up slightly, leaned down, and firmly, tenderly kissed Tina. _Oh look, the butterflies are back and they brought **all** of their friends. Mmmm, Brittany’s lips, very soft, very delicious cherry. Kissing a girl? Delightful._


	4. Princess and Puppy

                “So since I’m gonna be your pet, I think I should have a different name tomorrow,” Brittany said as soon as they were back in the car. Tina had shaken the butterflies off long enough to swear Gerry to silence about what he’d gotten one hell of an eyeful of; threatening to take all of her business on-line should anything about the girls’ kiss in the store get out. After that, the emotional haze had retaken her to the point she barely registered Brittany’s statement. _God, I really liked that… like **really** liked it. What does that mean about me? Does it have to mean anything other than Brittany is an amazing kisser? And that was without even using any tongue! Tonight is gonna be interesting and, well, probably confusing in more or less equal measures._

                “I’m sorry Britt, what did you say? I was completely lost in my own head. I’m sorry.”

                “You don’t have to figure everything out right now, T. I kissed you because I’ve been wanting to all day, and when I saw you looking all super hot in your dress and your fangs, I couldn’t help myself anymore. I’m sorry I kissed you in front of your friend.”

                _Yeah, still not use to that whole “ **she** thinks **I’m** hot” thing. _ “Don’t be sorry, Brittany. Don’t be sorry about any of it, I’m not. That was easily the best kiss of my life. I just had to make sure that Gerry wouldn’t say anything because he kinda has a big mouth and he knows my dad. I don’t _think_ my dad will freak out if I tell him that ‘I kissed a girl and I liked it,’” Tina sing-songed, “but he’ll probably be upset if he hears it from someone else first. Do you get that?”

                “Not really,” Brittany replied, “but I sometimes don’t understand a lot of things grownups do or think or say, so that’s okay. You said you liked the kiss.”

                “I did.”

                “And you want to do it way more?”

                “I do.”

                “Then, ‘it's all good baby bay-bee,’” replied Brittany doing her best Biggie Smalls. Tina giggled and Brittany put the car in gear and started the drive home.

                “So what did you say while I was zoned out? Something about your name?”

                “Oh, right. If I’m gonna be your pet tomorrow, I think I should have a different name. Brittany just doesn’t sound like a vampire pet name.”

                “So what’s a good name for a vampire pet?”

                “I was sorta thinking about it, and I think I have the most perfect name. Ready?”

                “I am _so_ ready.”

                “Puppy.”

                “You want me to call you ‘Puppy’ tomorrow?”

                “Yup, totally. We’ll be ‘Princess Tina and Puppy’ all day at school.”

                “Britt, why do you keep calling me a princess?”

                “Because that’s what you are,” she replied matter-of-factly, “You said your dad was The Vampire King, right? Well the daughter of the king is always the princess, so you’re like totally like The Vampire Princess, I just add the ‘sexy’ part because it’s like super true but I don’t think you know it sometimes so you need to be reminded.”

                _I have no idea how to respond to that. I know how I’d **like** to respond it, but she’s driving and that wouldn’t be safe. _ “Thanks, Britt.” _Lame. Totally lame, Tina._ “There’s just one problem, though. I don’t think ‘Tina’ sounds like a very good vampire name or a very good princess name, so clearly it’s nowhere near good enough for a Vampire Princess.”

                “So what do you want your name to be?”

                “What do you think about ‘Mariposa’?”

                A look of complete wonder and joy broke out on Brittany’s face as she looked at Tina, “That’s like maybe the best name ever. It means butterfly and you’re totally pretty and colorful like a butterfly with the streaks in your hair and the really bright make-up you wear a lot. Tina, you’re a super genius.” Tina smiled at the effusive praise but said nothing back. After a few seconds of silence, Brittany resumed singing along with the music that Tina had drowned out during their conversation.  It was tail end of “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne. Brittany sang beautifully:

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don’t like your girlfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your girlfriend  
No way! No way!  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it’s not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your girlfriend  
No way! No way!  
Hey! Hey! 

                Tina’s butterflies had settled during the previous conversation but now they were back with a vengeance. _God, I want her to be singing this to me, and I want her to mean it. How crazy is this?_ The song ended as they turned onto Tina’s street, her house was within view as Brittany’s iPod, set on shuffle, switched tracks, it was Alicia Keys’ “You Don’t Know My Name” and Tina was now certain that iTunes was trying to tell her something. Brittany quickly reached up and paused the song as she turned into Tina’s driveway. As soon as the car was out of the street, Brittany stopped, popped the door open and said, “Tina come dance with me.”

                “Here in the driveway?”

                “Yeah,” Brittany said as though it were the most natural thing in the world. She climbed out of the car and started making her way around to the passenger’s side. _This girl._ Tina unbuckled her seatbelt, as Brittany opened the door for her. Tina restarted the song and turned the volume up so that it filled the air outside the car. Brittany led them in dancing as she sang along:

Baby, baby, baby  
From the day I saw you  
I really really want to catch your eye  
There's something special 'bout you  
I must really like you  
Cause not a lotta girls are worth my time _(She changed that lyric. Did she do that on purpose?)_  
Ooo baby, baby, baby  
It's gettin kind of crazy  
Cause you are takin over my mind  
And it feels like oooooo  
But you don't know my name  
And I swear it feels like ooooo ooooo ooooo ooooo  
You don't know my name

Tina jumped in and sang the back-up part: Round and round and round we go, will you ever know?  
  
Oh baby baby baby  
I see us on our first date  
You're doin everything that makes me smile  
And when we had our first kiss  
It happened on a Monday _(Alicia sang “Thursday” but Brittany definitely said “Monday” she **is** singing to me)_  
Ooooo it set my soul on fire  
Ooo baby baby baby  
I can't wait for the first time  
My imagination's runnin wild  
It feels like ooooo  
You don't know my name  
And I swear it baby, it feels like oooo ooooo ooooo ooooo  
You don't know my name  
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know)  
  
"I'm sayin, she don't even know what she's doin' to me  
Got me feelin' all crazy inside  
I'm feelin like"  
Owww! Ooooo Oooooo  
Doin more than I've ever done for anyone's attention  
Take notice of what's in front of you  
Cause did I mention you're 'bout to miss a good thing  
And you'll never know how good it feels to have all of my affection  
And you'll never get a chance to experience my lovin'  
Cause my lovin' feels like ooooooo  
You don't know my name  
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know  
And I swear it feels like oooo ooooo ooooo ooooo  
You don't know my name  
(round and round and round we go, will you ever know)  
Ohhh  
  
                The music kept playing but Brittany stopped singing and they stopped dancing. Brittany looked deeply into Tina’s eyes, only inches between them and said, “T, I want to kiss you for reals now, okay?”

                “Please,” Tina responded quickly. Brittany leaned in and captured Tina’s lips in her own. Tina’s hands went to Brittany’s waist. Brittany reached up with her right hand and cupped Tina’s cheek. Her left hand quickly snaked up Tina’s back coming into contact with the bare skin below her shoulder blades. Tina’s skin tingled at the touch of Brittany’s soft, strong hands. Craving more, Tina moved her hands up Brittany’s back to her bare shoulders, and moaned when she made contact with Brittany's perfect skin. The kiss in the costume shop was very chaste and tender. This one was passionate and needful. Both girls pressed themselves against the other and tried to pull one another closer.

                The song ended and the iPod shuffled again, and Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” began almost instantly breaking the spell over the girls. They broke apart, Tina stealing one more, small peck from Brittany before saying, “All right, Puppy. Pull the car up to the house and let’s continue this inside. I think my neighbors have had all the free show they deserve.”

                Brittany just smiled and said, “Yes, Princess.”


	5. Lady Vampire Kisses and Sexy Brains

                Once inside the house, the girls immediately resumed kissing, discarding purses, jackets, and bags from the costume store on the floor. They kissed into the family room, through the dining room, and into the kitchen. There without looking, indeed without even opening her eyes, Tina reached out pulled the door to the refrigerator open, leaned down and deftly retrieved two bottles of water, then closed the refrigerator, all while still kissing Brittany. They kissed back out of the kitchen, back through the dining room, back through the family room. They kissed while walking up the stairs which was awkward, but it barely slowed them down. They started towards Tina’s bedroom, still kissing, of course, but Tina thought better of that. _I don’t want to give Brittany the wrong idea. Don’t want to give myself the wrong idea either. Not ready for all that._ Instead, she redirected herself and the girl that was currently attached to her at the mouth towards the home theater room. _Awesome sound system, lots of open space to work on choreography, assuming we ever actually get to that, and a really comfortable couch if we don’t. Plus, I’m hardly ever in there unless it’s Family Movie Night so no one will look for me there, so less likely to get walked in on._

                They walked around the couch to sit and Brittany gently pushed Tina into a sitting position. Brittany crawled on top of her straddling her lap. Brittany wrapped her arms around Tina’s neck, forearms resting on bare shoulders. Tina’s skin began tingling again, and again she craved more contact. Tina’s hands went to Brittany’s waist again, but this time she pushed down briefly and then up, under the hem of Brittany’s t-shirt.  She felt the toned and muscular body underneath and those familiar tingles became little bolts of electricity racing through her body. Tina moaned into Brittany’s mouth and she could feel Brittany’s smile against hers. _God bless Sue Sylvester for pushing Brittany into having this body. Tina likey!_

                After a further five minutes of constant mouth-to-mouth contact, well over ten minutes after they walked in the front door, both girls were rapidly drawing short of breath. Neither girl wanted to be the one to break contact first, however. Lightheadedness began to set in on Tina. _God I’m gonna pass out in a minute. Damn it, I’m a singer, I should have better control of my breathing than this. Of course, knowing how the Cheerios get drilled she’s probably more use to doing without for longer. Wow, that sounded incredibly dirty. Speaking of dirty, time to play dirty._ Tina gently slipped one of her fangs up over Brittany’s bottom lip and bit down gently eliciting a moan from Brittany, causing the blonde to break the near fifteen long, house spanning lip lock. Brittany gently pulled her lip from Tina’s mouth and leaned her forehead against Tina’s; both girls’ breathing was ragged.

                “That’s totally not fair, Tina. I so was gonna win our super hot make out contest,” Brittany pouted still somewhat out of breath.

                Tina smirked at her as her breathing began to return to normal, amused that both girls had the same thoughts about not being the first to break. “You were the one that wanted to make out with a vampire, sweetie,” Tina said, unconsciously dropping in the term of endearment, “We aren’t exactly known for our sense of justice and fair play.”

                “Oh, I totally know that,” Brittany responded gently pushing Tina’s head until it was lying over the back of the couch, she leaned in and kissed Tina lightly just above the right eyebrow, “but you still shouldn’t have done that,” she moved her head down near Tina’s right ear and spoke breathily “because like, you see?” Brittany darted out her tongue and lightly grazed it up Tina’s earlobe, nipping at the top lightly. There was nothing _little_ about the bolt of electricity that coursed through Tina’s body now and it didn’t race all over as the little ones had; this one shot straight between her legs. Brittany quickly switched sides of Tina’s head, “Now,” she kissed Tina above her left eyebrow and moved to her left ear, “I have to get you back,” a gentle graze of Brittany’s tongue and another gentle nip sent a full body shiver through Tina. Brittany felt the Asian girl squirm beneath her and giggled.

                Brittany reached down to the hem of her shirt and hitched it up to just under her breasts. The shirt was form fitting, so it stayed pulled up when Brittany released it. She quickly grabbed both of Tina’s hands by the wrists and pulled them up between them, placing the smaller girl’s hands on her very well defined abs, abs which were by this point glistening with a fine layer of sweat. _Omigod! Oh wow, abs! Such spectacular, amazing abs._ Tina’s hands were physically trembling on contact, “Oh, Brittany!”

                “See,” Brittany said, sitting up, resting her arms across Tina’s shoulders, “getting someone all worked up is super naughty, T.”

                “Maybe, I like being naughty, B,” Tina responded still absently tracing the outline of Brittany’s stomach muscles with her fingertips. “Seriously, Britt, you are a goddess. I’m up for anything at this point.”

                “I know, and I totally want to have sexy times with my sexy Vampire Princess,” Brittany said licking her lips at the prospect, “but you would feel bad about it after we did, and that’s not what we agreed to.”

                _Agreed to?_ “What are you talking about Britt?”

                “Today at school we agreed that if this wasn’t fun for both of us, we wouldn’t do it.”

                “Right.”

                “So I’m not going to have sexy times with you, but I am gonna keep getting my mack on, and I’m going to touch you. If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, stop me. Promise me.”

                “Sure, whatever,” Tina said quickly. _If she doesn’t kiss me again soon, I think I may burst._

                “No, Tina. You have to promise me.”

                Tina took a deep breath, made a point to look Brittany right in the eyes and said, “Okay, Brit, you’re right, I’m not ready for sex. I promise I will keep us within my boundaries. Now will you _pleeeeease_ kiss me again?”

                Brittany smiled and said, “I can’t deny my princess her Lady Vampire Kisses. That would be super mean.” She leaned back down and once again the two were attached at the mouth and that seemingly now familiar electric sensation returned with the kisses. Tongues invaded each other’s mouths and fought for dominance, which Brittany won pretty handily. The girls explored and caressed each other’s bodies. True to her word, Tina stopped Brittany when the cheerleader went to feel the Asian girl’s breasts. Brittany caressed, kissed, licked and gently bit nearly every inch of Tina’s neck and shoulders. Tina made herself very familiar with the contours of Brittany’s stomach and lower back, the texture of Brittany’s hair, and the intoxicating scent of Brittany’s neck.

                Thirty minutes or so of uninterrupted making out later, Tina began to think something was seriously wrong with her. She felt extremely, almost painfully warm like she was suddenly running a huge fever, her hands and arms were trembling, her breathing was ragged at best, and her heart was jack hammering in her chest. _Am I having a heart attack? Not that even that will cause me to stop this. If I die from kissing Brittany, then I die really, **really** freaking happy._

                Again her thoughts were interrupted by Brittany who broke off from kissing Tina’s left collarbone, and said breathily, “You have to let go, T.” _Let go? I don’t have a hold of anything._ “I totally get that you like to ride the wave or whatever, pleasure delayer and all that, but you’ve been on the edge of orgasm for like ten minutes, you’re gonna hurt something.” _Pleasure delayer? Orgasm? We aren’t even having…_ As Tina was thinking Brittany had moved her mouth right next to Tina’s ear and the sexiest, breathiest whisper interrupted her thoughts once again, “I need you to come for me, Tina.” _HOLY SHIT!_ Tina’s body racked and trembled. “Please come for me, Tina.”

                “Omigod," Tina gasped immediate, "Brittany, Brittany, Brittany," she quietly chanted before finally letting go of a mountain of pleasure she didn’t even realize she was sitting on. Brittany's name fell from her lips many more times as she crested and then came down. Tina's entire body went limp against the couch. She could do nothing stare at the rapturous beauty that was still perched on her lap.

                After several minutes of silence, save for the sounds of Tina’s breathing returning to normal, Brittany said, “That was so majorly hot.” Tina couldn’t respond, just sort of nodding weakly instead. Brittany cocked her head to one side and said, “Tina, why are you crying? Did I go too far? You should have stopped me. Please don’t be upset with me. I’m so sor…”

                Brittany’s words were cut off by Tina’s lips pressed firmly against hers. It was the first time all night that Tina had initiated a kiss between the two of them. A moment later Tina backed off, released the kiss and said firmly, “Don’t you _dare_ apologize for that, Brittany. Total happy tears, I promise, okay?”

                “Okay,” Brittany responded with a smile.

                “Now, I really want to return the favor and help you… but I’m not ready for that and you made me promise, and…”

                “It’s totally okay, T. I’ll have sexy times with myself when I get home and I’ll totally be thinking about you coming so hard just now. It’ll be almost just like you did it, anyway.”

                “Now, that,” Tina said, “is majorly hot.” She kissed Brittany once more and then said, “Now, I think we should go up to my room, change into some jammies, and come back here and work on this song so we can kill it in Glee Club tomorrow.”

                Brittany’s almost impossibly big smile somehow managed to get even bigger. “I love jammies! Tina, you have the best ideas! I totally love your brain!”

                “Please, girl,” Tina responded, “My brain has nothing on your brain. Remember this whole amazing night was _you’re_ idea.”

                “You’re completely right,” Brittany said, “We totally have sexy brains.”

                “We _so_ do,” Tina agreed.

                Two hours and many, many run-throughs of their chosen song later, they had settled on Tina carrying the vocals and doing some basic choreography, while Brittany would do a more elaborate routine and sing back-up on the chorus. Both girls were sitting on the couch, exhausted, draining their third bottle of water each, when Tina heard the garage door begin to open.

                “Well, my parents are home.”

                “Do you think they had as much fun at the country club as we had singing and dancing?”

                “Sweetie, I don’t think anyone, anywhere, ever has ever had as much fun as we’ve had tonight.”

                Brittany smirked, “I know, right? We so rule.”

                “We so do.”

                “Tina?” Naomi called from downstairs, “We’re home.”

                Brittany and Tina made their way downstairs into the kitchen. “Mom, Dad this is Brittany Pierce. Britt, this is my mom, Naomi Cohen.”

                They shook hands, Naomi said, “It’s very nice to meet you.”

                “It’s totally cool to meet you, Mrs. C.”

                “And back there,” Tina said with a point, “rooting through the fridge is my dad, Stephen Chang. Dad, if you’re looking for food there is a whole tub of jerk chicken, rice, and beans that Brittany brought over. It’s really good.”

                “Really?” he said. Stephen located the tub in question, pulled the lid off, grabbed a piece, took a bite, “Brittany, you are my new favorite person ever! Hun, you have to try this,” he said offering Naomi a piece.

                “That’s so super awesome of you to say, Mr. C. I think Tina’s my new favorite person.”

                “Yeah, I’m pretty fond of her too,” he said, “Forgive me, girls, but it’s late and I still have numbers to crunch.” With that he walked out of the kitchen, tub of jerk chicken still in hand.

                “Mrs. C, can I ask you like a kinda super personal question? It’s totally okay if you wanna say no, okay? I know it’s kinda not cool to ask really personal stuff to people you just met, but I just really wanna know something if you don’t mind.”

                “It’s fine Brittany, ask away.”

                “I couldn’t help noticing that you’re not Asian like Tina and Mr. C, so are you like Tina’s real mom? Because it’s totally cool if you’re not, I’ve got a mom who’s not my real mom, she’s my step mom, but don’t ask me which step she’s on or even where the stairs go cuz no one tells me. All I know is that Santana’s Papi had twelve steps that he talks about a lot, even though it makes no sense because I counted and they have sixteen steps in their house or 26 if you count the ones into the basement, which I totally do because their basement is so rad. Really I don’t even know why parents need steps. Mostly I just call my real mom Mommy and my step mom Mom, it use to be confusing when I was little but anymore. My dad I call Daddy and my Aunt Susan I call Aunt Susan or sometimes just Susan, they aren’t confusing at all.”

                Naomi smiled and just simply stated, “I’m Tina’s real mom.”

                “Awesome! Does that mean my babies can be super cute little Asian babies too? That would be so totally precious.”

                “They’d have to have a super cute Asian daddy like Tina has, but yes, you could potentially have Asian babies. Now I see you girls are wearing pajamas. Were you planning on spending the night?”

                “Oh, no,” Brittany responded, “my mom wants me home tonight. I should probably go get my stuff. Tina, thank you for an amazing night. Mrs. C, thank you for letting us hang out here, you’re house it super dope.” With that Brittany trotted off to collect her things.

                “’Amazing night’ huh?” Naomi prodded, “So? Have sex with Brittany even though I told you not to?”

                “You didn’t tell me not to have sex with Brittany. You said not to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.”

                “Tina Louise Cohen-Chang, answer the question.”

                “No, Mom, I didn’t have sex with Brittany.”

                “Then why the big moony grin?”

                “She brought me the most amazing home cooked meal I’ve ever had, no offense. She took me shopping at my favorite store. She serenaded me with one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite singers. We made out and it was so electric and so intense that I had an orgasm. We laughed and danced and sang until we were both exhausted. Then she charmed the pants off of my parents. It was the best first date ever and the most amazing thing is she did it all without even trying.”

                “You didn’t have sex but she still gave you an orgasm?”

                “Yes.”

                “Well, Tina, my child, that girl is a keeper.”


	6. BDSM and Hallway Chicken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the title implies, this chapter involves elements of BDSM but it takes place almost entirely at the school so it's extremely mild and entirely non-sexual. For any readers who are off put by such thing, I think you should be able to endure this with minimal discomfort.

                By the time Brittany and Tina arrived at school, it had already been a long morning. The look that Brittany had decided she wanted to sport was rather involved and required a good amount of prep time, so Tina had awoken at 5:00 am to get herself dressed and ready to depart for Brittany’s by 6:00. When she arrived at The Pierce House, she briefly met Jeffery and Mary Ann Pierce, Brittany’s dad and step-mom, who were still in the process of waking up. Mary Ann ushered Tina back to Brittany’s room. Tina found Brittany well into getting her make-up on. Brittany had decided that she wanted to look like she had recently been turned into a vampire, so they were going to make her face, neck, and hands look very pale, as though there was no blood in them. Brittany, who was visibly excited about the day’s prospects, already had both hands done and was well over halfway done with her face. Tina went to work on the prosthetic bite wounds first. They went on without incident and Tina applied the pale make-up to the area and did a little detail work to really sell them as real. Tina then mixed up some of her denture cream hoping to use that for Brittany’s fangs, hoping to spare her from having to potentially wear them to school again the next day. Brittany chose a pair of fangs that matched Tina’s. Tina was pleased with the hold the cream had. She then went behind Brittany doing detail work on her face as Brittany finished making herself pale.  Brittany laid the eye liner on thick as Tina went about putting on Brittany’s fake finger nails. The She had found them in the costume shop last night and had to have them. They were long and looked like they were splattered with blood. Tina added some matching make-up to her hands to complete the “blood soaked hands” look. They completed the look with a pair of white contacts and pair of earrings that looked like large spiders crawling out of Brittany’s ears. Tina also gave Brittany a small bag of fake blood capsules to chew on at opportune times throughout the day

                Brittany admired their work in the mirror, “T, I look _so_ freaky! This is gonna be the most fun day of school ever!”

                “Totally!” Tina agreed, “But we’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry and get dressed.”

                Brittany smiled, “Cheerios has made me a super fast dresser. We’ve got plenty of time.” With that Brittany turned to walk towards her closet, as she went she casually yanked the tank top she’d been wearing over her head depositing it in the hamper. _Omigod! Sexy back… like really, **really** sexy back. _ Tina turned away and tried to focus on packing up her make-up. “Tina, can you tie me?”

Tina turned back around and was struck by the sight of a pale vampire in a black leather halter top and pink fuzzy pajama pants with ducks on them. Tina crossed the room to stand behind her and began tightening her top. “Too tight?” she asked timidly.

“No,” Brittany said, “that’s good. Tie it.” An awkward silence hung in the air as Brittany pulled on her skirt. The skirt that Brittany had loved instantly yesterday at the costume shop was black with red accents, and was technically ankle length, but everything from about an inch above the knee looked as though it had been ripped to shreds, strands of fabric with jagged cuts and irregular lengths, some to her ankles, some not even to her knee. “Tina? Are you freaked about yesterday?”

Tina looked down at the floor and didn’t answer right away. “Kind of,” she said, at last, looking up at Brittany, “but before you try to apologize again. You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m not freaked about anything we did and I don’t regret any of it, either. Although, I _do_ regret telling my mother that you gave me an orgasm. That was mortifying in hindsight.”

“You told your mom?”

“She kinda knew already. I mean… not about the orgasm, about the kissing.”

“So what’s freaking you out then?” Brittany asked.

“Before yesterday, I’d never kissed a girl. You knew that, right?”

“I was pretty sure,” Brittany answered as she pulled her pajama pants out from under her skirt, “Mostly because you kept waiting for me to kiss you. It was kinda precious.”

Tina smiled slightly, “Well, before you asked me to help with your fantasy, I’d never even considered kissing a girl. I’d never felt any sort of attraction to a girl. I mean, okay, I’ve noticed that, say, Quinn has beautiful skin and that Rachel has legs to die for…”

“She’s a total closet hottie.”

“She totally is,” Tina agreed quickly, “but before yesterday I never wanted any of them for myself. Basically, in the course of six or seven hours I went from being certain I was straight to having the most intense experience of my life with a girl. It’s kind of a lot to process.”

Brittany sat down on her bed and started pulling on the black leather boots with the chrome plate over the toe that Tina had loaned her to go with her costume, “T, what we did yesterday was super fun. I had such a blast with you, but it doesn’t have to mean anything unless you want it to, k?”

“Thanks, Britt. I guess we’d better get going. We’re going to be late.”

“One last thing,” Brittany said as she stood and crossed back to her dresser. Out of the top drawer she grabbed a silver bracelet with a fairly large ring standing straight up off of it. Brittany handed it to Tina and said, “Here put this on,” as she turned back to the drawer, fishing for something else.

“What’s this?” Tina asked as she slid it on her left wrist.

“It goes with this,” Brittany said still facing away, apparently fastening something around her neck that Tina couldn’t quite make out until the blonde turned back to face her. It was a black. leather, chrome studded dog collar attached to a five foot long silver chain that ended in a D-clip which Brittany quickly attached to Tina’s bracelet.

“Britt, what is all this?”

“Duh, Tina. You have to keep your pets on a leash. Everybody knows that.”

_______________

They arrived at school 40 minutes before homeroom, more or less as they’d planned. _No point in dressing like this if we don’t give everyone time to notice._ As they climbed out of Tina’s car, both girls took a minute to slip into their new personas. Tina became Princess Mariposa, hard ass vampire who had little interest in or concern for the affair of mortals, haughty aloofness her primary feature. Brittany became Puppy, loyal, submissive pet to her princess, dead, lifeless eyes, lilting head, and pale skin. They met at the front of the car where Brittany reattached her leash to Tina’s waiting wrist. “Come on, Puppy. Let’s go.” They walked together, Brittany trailing two steps behind until they got to the door. Tina stopped, Brittany continued past her to get the door for her princess.

They entered the school and it only took about a minute before more or less all eyes were on them. Tina, keeping to character, ignored the stares and made directly for her locker. As she collected her books for morning classes, Brittany stood back to back with her, surveying the crowd while still maintaining her blank face. Everyone was staring, no one was moving; no one, that is, except Jacob Ben Israel who moved towards the two. He started to ask one of the girls something but before he could Brittany snapped her head his direction, locked eyes with him, bared her fangs at him, and let loose a sound that was somewhere between a cat hissing and a snake doing the same. Jacob backpedaled quickly, nearly falling over himself to get away. _Keep it together, Tina. Don’t laugh no matter how much that twerp deserves it. Princess Mari doesn’t care about such things._

When Tina was done, she closed her locker and cast withering stares at all surrounding her. Tina was sporting a pair of blood red contacts that she thought were just about the creepiest things she’d ever seen. The student body didn’t seem to disagree. “Your locker, Puppy,” was all Tina said as they walked off.

As they made their way to the other side of the building the crowd of people parted for them the likes of which was normally reserved for Jocks and Cheerios. It was nothing new to Brittany but it was definitely a unique experience to Tina.  She did, however, notice that the crowd was also starting to part from the other direction. _Bet I know what this is. Less than five minutes for it to get back to her. Not bad McKinley gossip queens._ Sure enough within 30 seconds, Santana Lopez came face to face with the girls, “STUTTERS! You _needs_ to be _tellin_ me why you be draggin _my_ girl around by the neck,” Santana went to poke Tina, but Princess Mari was having none of that and knocked Santana’s hand away with her own, “Oh Hell to the fuckin no, you didn’t…”

“Bitch, if you would shut your mouth for one second,” Tina cut her off, “we might _think_ about ‘tellin’ you the time and weather outside, but our business isn’t yours.” _Omigod! I just called Santana a bitch to her face, told her to shut up and look she’s freaking speechless! Gotta leave on a high note._ Tina walked off with Brittany following her. Santana stood dumbfounded; by the time she regained her senses the vampires were gone.

Brittany and Tina made it to Brittany’s locker before Santana caught back up with them. _All right, Mari. Get ready for round 2._ Brittany closed her locker and slung her bag over her shoulder just as Santana got to them. “Bitch, I know you did _not_ just walk away from me when I was…” Tina interrupted this time by simply turning and walking away. “Dammit! I was talking to you, Gothika!”

Tina turned and stomped back the two steps towards Santana. Tina locked eyes with her, and Santana finally took notice of the extremely creepy color, “The fuck…” Santana began before once again being cut off.

“My name,” Tina began loudly, “is _neither_ ‘Stutters’ nor ‘Gothika’ nor is it ‘Bitch.’ If you wish to address me, you will do so in a respectful manor,” Tina lowered her voice after that. “If you refuse, I’ll have Puppy exsanguinate you, and don’t act like you don’t know what that word means. We both know you’re a _lot_ smarter than you let on.” Once again, Santana was completely at a loss for words, and once again Tina was more than a little surprised and proud of herself. “You know what? I don’t feel like doing this all day. Puppy,” Tina said, turning her attention back to Brittany, raising one finger, “for one minute, be Brittany again and explain to this mortal what’s going on.”

It was as though Tina had flipped a switch, as Puppy instantly became Brittany again. Gone were the dead eyes and the lilted head, and back were the big smile and the bubbly personality. “It’s a game, San, and it’s crazy fun. You can’t be mad at Princess Mariposa because the collar and the leash were my idea, and you can’t be jelly cuz I tried to get you to play games with me and you wouldn’t, so now I’m playing with Tina, who is super awesome, except today her name is Princess Mariposa and my name is Puppy. Be nice, San and maybe we’ll let you play a game with us sometime.” After that, a minute was up and the blonde went right back to being Puppy.

Santana had many questions, several dozen, in fact but none of them were manifesting themselves into words, so Tina simply coaxed Brittany to come along. The girls walked silently and determinedly towards homeroom, the only class other than Glee that they had together. Again, the faceless horde of students gave them a wide birth, and again it was an unusual feeling for Tina.

When they had taken seats next to one another in homeroom, Brittany looked to Tina and placed both hands over her heart, their prearranged sign for wanting to temporarily break character. Tina mimicked the gesture, smiled for the first time since setting foot in the school and said, “We still having fun, Britt?”

“So much fun. I think this might be the best day of school ever!”

“I know, right?”

“I just wanted to make sure it was okay when I invited San to play a game with us, I promise it won’t be anything sexy.”

“Do you know what she’d want to do?” Tina asked

“Yeah, she wants to be in a girl band like Salt ‘n’ Pepa or TLC,” Brittany responded.

“That could be fun… if she behaves herself, but, y’know, what are the odds of that?”

“Right?”

After home room, Tina escorted Brittany to her classes, attached her leash to her desk (where she would wait until Tina came back for her after class) and then hurried to her own class although she took great care to not looking like she was hurrying. _Princess Mari is above petty mortal concerns such as tardiness._ Brittany’s dad, a sociology professor at OSU Lima had provided the girls with letters to show their teachers that said basically that the girls were participating in a sociological survey and that so long as the girls weren’t violating any school rules or being a disruption, to kindly leave them be. Some of their teachers were somewhat dubious but couldn’t honestly dispute Professor Pierce’s word on the matter.

Halfway through first period, Tina’s phone started blowing up with texts:

**From Satan: Our convo ain’t over! Cu n 2 nd. -S**

**From Mercedes: Girl, what’s up w/ u n Brit?**

**From Rachel: I adore Brittany’s and your costumes. I cannot wait to see which song you’ve arranged for us in Glee. Something by Vampire Weekend, perhaps, or is that too “on the nose” as the saying goes? –RBB**

**From Puck: Vampires are awesome.**

**From Kurt: Love the Vampire Chic look. See you in 2 nd. <3**

**From Quinn: What’s going on with u and Brittany. I’m hearing crazy things. -Q**

**From Matt: Saw u shut down Santana in the halls. It was epic. Mike has vid if u want.**

**From Mike: T! Totally videoed you shouting down S. Can I upload it on YT?**

**From Mercedes: Tot 4got 2 tell u last nite. Eddie’s fine, knot on his head, headache, no worries.**

                Tina didn’t respond to any of them. Brittany had determined last night that vampires don’t use cell phones, so they agreed that they would only use theirs in an emergency and none of this was crucial. She’d see most of the Gleeks by lunch time.

                In second period AP English, Tina was spared another confrontation with Santana by Kurt immediately engaging her in detailed conversation about her look, Brittany’s look, how she talked Brittany into it, et cetera. Tina found herself wanting to tell Kurt about her confusing feelings about kissing Brittany but Santana was sitting too close and was trying to butt in at every turn, to the point that Mr. Bullock had to threaten to send them to the Principal’s office to get them to keep quiet. Kurt and Tina remained quiet the rest of the period, Santana didn’t and was sent out.

                By third period Computer Science, Tina found herself staring wistfully at her bracelet missing the connection to Brittany that it symbolized. _This is crazy. It hasn’t even been a whole day since we started hanging out. I just saw her ten minutes ago, between classes._

                In the hallway between third and fourth period, Tina and Brittany were engaged in a game of Hallway Chicken by Dave Karofsky and Azimio Adams. This was a favored game among the jocks at McKinley wherein they would put themselves directly in the path of someone they counted as weaker than themselves. The weaker student then had to either move out of the way or get run into and most likely knocked on their asses. Seeing what was going on Brittany indicated to Tina who steeled her gaze against Karofsky. Brittany quickly retrieved three of the fake blood capsules from her bag, put them in her mouth, bit down, and used her tongue to quickly smear the blood on her teeth as much as possible. When the girls got within four feet of the jocks, Brittany unleashed her hiss again. It really was an unholy sound and this time it had the added benefit of being accompanied by a spray of fake blood. Azimio yelled, “Oh dear, Jesus!” as the spray hit him in chest and neck. He tripped over his own feet as he tried to back away. Tina knew she couldn’t suppress her amusement this time, so she turned her normally girly giggle into a maniacal, evil laugh, and then fixed her stare on Karofsky who was still in their path despite his best friend trying desperately to get out of their way and off the floor. For a minute, it looked like he was going to slam into Tina, but at the last second, Karofsky stepped aside, dropping his head in shame. _Winner and new champions of Hallway Chicken, Princess Mariposa and Puppy!_

At lunchtime, the girls skipped the cafeteria in favor of the backstage area of the auditorium. There they touched up Brittany’s make up and shared the last of the now legendary jerk chicken. After a few minutes, Tina put both hands over her heart. Brittany copied her. “Are we still having fun?”

                “Loads.”

                “Awesome. I need to talk to you for a little while but I don’t want to have to keep my hands like this,” Tina said dropping her hands back to her food.

                Brittany did likewise and said, “Okay, just tell me when and we’ll get back into character.”

                “Okay,” Tina said as she swallowed a bite of rice. “This morning you said that it was up to me whether or not yesterday had to mean something more than us just having fun, and I was really glad that you’re being so understanding, but now I just feel like leaving all the decisions to me doesn’t feel fair to you.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “I mean, do you want last night to have meant something more than just fun?”

                Brittany took another bite of her food and looked pensive for a minute before finally saying sheepishly, “Kinda.”

                “Kinda?” Tina echoed, quizzically.

                “I mean, I dunno, it’s kinda like no one’s ever asked me what I want after we get our mack on,” Tina’s heart broke a little for Brittany. “I think I kinda like you. Like, of course, I like but I mean like _like you_ like you. You’re super cute and totally sexy even though you don’t believe me when I tell you,” _More like I **can’t** believe you think it!_ “And we have so much fun together, so I guess I want us to be together, but I really totally don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

                “Thanks for telling me, Britt, and I’m still trying to figure things out in my sexy brain,” Tina said, both girls smiling at the reference, “but I’ll tell you what I have figured out today. Even though it hasn’t even been one whole day of us hanging out, I kinda miss you when we’re in class and not together and I find myself staring at my bracelet and hoping you’re okay and still having fun.” Brittany smiled at Tina’s words. “So, I guess, I kind of… like you, like you too.”

                With that, Brittany’s arms were wrapped around Tina’s head, mashing Tina’s face into Brittany’s chest in a monstrous Brittany-hug. “Britt,” Tina said muffled, “Brittany! Trouble breathing!”

                Brittany let go, “Sorry!”

                “It’s okay. I’m glad you’re happy. There’s just one more thing. Is it… would it be okay with you if we just take things kinda slow for a little while? Like don’t put a label on anything yet? Just us hanging out and having loads of fun, making sure these feelings are real? Is that okay?”

                “Can we still get our Lady Kisses on?”

                “Well, see, that’s what I was going to suggest we spend the rest of lunch doing, but you’ve gone and ruined the surprise.” And once again, Brittany was upon her.

                


	7. Off With Their Heads

                After Tina dropped Brittany off for fifth period, as she was making her way to her own class, she got a text message:

**From Puck: just found Z n br, covered w red shit, smelled lik piss, cryin lik a grl. wtf u ba’s do? slushie him?**

                Tina felt bad for Azimio for about two seconds, until she remembered just how many slushie facials he had administered to her and her friends. _Maybe a little humiliation would be a good thing for him._

                Fifth period for Tina was AP Chemistry, which she had with Santana, and as fate would have it, she was running late. She was almost certain that she would wind up partnered with the Latina so that she could get into Tina’s face about showing her up in the hallways, and probably for her getting sent to see Figgins earlier, too. When she got there, just before the bell rang, she saw that Santana was, indeed, the only one without a partner, almost certainly by the Latina’s design. _Screw her and her bitchiness. You’re Princess Mariposa. You’re so far above this moral and all her crap._ The second Tina sat down, Santana lit into her, but Tina heard none of it, which of course, only made Santana even angrier, but having already made one trip to the principal’s office that day, she would have to face suspension if she did anything to Tina about it.

                In sixth period AP Algebra, Mike showed Tina his video of her shouting down Santana. She loved it and gave him her blessing to post it on YouTube. She liked having photographic proof of the day she was badass enough to go mano-a-mano with the head cheerleader.

                When the vampires got to the choir room, they found Rachel and Mercedes there ahead of them talking about something. Both of them stopped and looked up when Tina and Brittany. “Girl,” Mercedes began looking at Tina, “I been textin you like crazy, all day. What’s up? Why don’t hit me back?”

                “Sorry, I forgot to charge my phone last night,” Tina responded. _The battery isn’t dead, but I did forget to charge it._ “What’s up? How’s Eddie?” Tina asked leading Brittany to the chair.

                “Psh! He’s fine. Mom’s trippin’.”

                “Mercedes!” Rachel interjected, “Don’t say such things. It was the responsible thing for your mother to take your brother to the hospital. As you know head injuries can be extremely serious, and your mother in particular is particularly protective of both you and your younger brother…”

Tuning Rachel’s monologue out, Tina dropped her bag in front if one chair dragged the chair to the left of it closer, pointed at it and quietly said, “Puppy, sit.” Brittany did. Tina joined her.

Mercedes turned her attention back to Tina, “Girl, why is Brittany chained to you?”

Brittany, while maintaining her far-away look, piped up, “It’s not a chain, it’s a leash. There are leash laws for a reason, Mercedes.”

Tina then said, “Puppy’s my pet. I have to make sure she doesn’t run off or get hurt.”

Brittany leaned her head over on Tina’s shoulder and said, “You’re such a good master. You take such awesome care of me.”

“Master?” Mercedes echoed, “Now hold up a damn mi…”

                “Ladies, Badasses.” Puck interrupted as he walked into the room. “So Tina when did you decide start bucking for the top spot around here?”

                “Top spot? Noah, what are you talking about?” Rachel asked.

                “In one day, Tina, here has taken down two of the biggest badasses in the school, aside from Puckzilla, of course. She shouted down Santana in front of God and everybody before homeroom, completely devastating her intimidation factor, then before lunch she left Azimio a fucking whimpering mess in the bathroom, still not sure how you did that one.”

                Tina smiled at Brittany who still had the same blank faced stare as she had for most of the day. _I think that will now be officially called “Puppyface.”_ “I beat Karofsky in Hallway Chicken, too.”

                “WHAT?” said Rachel, Mercedes, and Puck, all at once.

                “Pretty sure that puts my Badass Body Count at three,” Tina continued, absently stroking Brittany’s hair.

                “Please go out with me,” said Puck suddenly, “You’re gonna be the queen of this fucking place soon enough, might as well be at the side of the king. Plus, have you seen these arms? These are the kind of arms you want at your side when you’re ruling a place like McKinley.”

                “I’m spoken for, Puck,” Tina said wistfully. Puck looked thoroughly confused, like the idea that Tina would reject him was as foreign to him as the idea of _not_ trying to get in a girl’s pants.

                “Damn right you are, woman,” came the voice of Artie, wheeling himself into the room, followed closely by Finn and Matt. _Typical, ignore me all day just to show up and stake a claim on me that you don’t even have. Jerk._ Tina glared at him, but if he noticed her anger, he didn’t show it.

                Rachel quickly began one of her monologues, “Tina, I feel compelled to point out that in spurning Noah’s advances and presumably, based on the look on his face, destroying his plans to ride your coattails to the apex of the social pyramid of McKinley High, your quote-unquote Badass Body Count now stands at four,” she glared at Puck and continued, “Which I must say is very impressive. I hope that you remember the little people when you get to the top.”

                Tina and Mercedes couldn’t help but laugh at this. _Stop laughing, Tina. You’re supposed to be a hard ass. Oh but damnit that was funny, plus my God, Rachel made a joke._

                Kurt made his way into the room, as did Mike who was soon followed by Quinn. “What’s so funny?” asked Kurt.

                “Rachel made a joke,” said Matt.

                “A good one,” Mercedes added.

                “At Puck’s expense,” Tina concluded. Kurt began giggling uncontrollably at the thought.

                “And I missed it?” came Quinn’s voice, “Those are my favorite kind of jokes.”

                Everyone, less the noticeably absent Santana, settled into their seats as Mr. Schuester entered the choir room and said, “Alright, gang. Who is ready to hit the ground running on a funk number?”  No one moved. There were no hands in the air. No voices spoke up. Nothing. “Come on, guys. Someone has to have something. Rachel?”

                The diminutive Glee Club Captain stood at this prompting. Mr. Schuester sat down assuming she was moments away from launching into song. Instead she launched into yet another speech. “Mr. Shue, as you know there are many genres of music of which I am well skilled to reproduce, however, funk is just simply put, not one of them.  I know that I am not alone in feeling this way as I have been in contact with other members of the club that feel similarly. As Team Captain, I took it upon myself to encourage these people to work on numbers that might be used at Regionals three weeks hence. While I have a couple of things ready to go in this regards, I’m finding Tina’s and Brittany’s sudden flair for the theatrical a little too intriguing to resist offering them the chance to go first.”

                “Thanks, Rachel. I think we will,” Tina responded. She looked at Brittany whose head was still rested on Tina’s shoulder, “Ready, Puppy?”

                “Yes, Princess.”

                “Great,” Tina responded, “Up.” Brittany stood and they  walked down to the open floor. Tina was carrying her backpack with her. She said, “Jazz Band, you can take five. You don’t have a synth board, so we’ll just have to use my iPod.” Tina disconnected the leash from her wrist, handed the end to Brittany and said, “Limber up, Puppy.” She then unpacked and plugged in her docking station, plugged in her iPod, and cued up the song. She grabbed the remote and moved over to Brittany. Standing very close to her she said, “Okay, I hope this goes without saying, but Puppy can dance as well as Brittany, right?”

                “Yes, Princess. We share the same body.”

                “Okay, good. When the music hits, dance your heart out, Puppy.”

                “Thank you, Princess.”

                “And when the song is over, we can go back to being Tina and Brittany.”

                “Yes, Princess.”

                Tina pressed play on her iPod and the music began… and so did Brittany. When Brittany danced in their group choreography numbers, she was excellent, but when she danced alone in the style of her choosing, she was mesmerizing. She had a grace that seemingly defied logic and physics and appeared to come to her as naturally as breathing. _My God she’s beautiful. She’s like a living piece of art, poetry in motion._ So enraptured was Tina that she very nearly missed her cue in the song, but she just managed to save herself.

Off with your head  
Dance until you're dead  
Heads will roll   
Heads will roll  
Heads will roll  
Heads will roll  
On the floor  
  
Glitter on the wet streets  
Silver over everything  
The river's all wet  
You're all cold  
  
Dripping with alchemy  
Shiver stop shivering  
The glitter's all wet  
You're all chrome  
  
The men cry out  
The Girls cry out  
The men cry out   
Oh no  
  
Off with your head  
Dance until you're dead  
Heads will roll   
Heads will roll  
Heads will roll  
Heads will roll  
On the floor  
  
Looking glass  
Take the past  
Shut your eyes  
Mirror lies   
  
Glitter on the wet streets  
Silver over everything  
The glitter's all wet  
You're all chrome  
You're all chrome  
  
Off with your head  
Dance until you're dead  
Off with your head  
Dance until you're dead  
Off with your head  
Dance until you're dead

                Tina felt the performance had gone extremely well. She’d nailed the vocals and the limited choreography she had. Brittany had danced phenomenally well. She had neglected her backing vocals in the chorus but no one seemed to notice or care.

                “Great job, you guys,” said Mr. Schuester, “really well done. Tina, great job on the vocals, the song was really creepy, I assume that’s what you were going for?”

                “Totally,” Tina replied borrowing a line from Brittany.

                Mr. Schuester turned to address the blonde, “Brittany, you were phenomenal, but I don’t think it’s really something we can do for Regionals. Let’s…”

                “Why the hell not?” Tina heard herself say. _Umm, what was that? Why am I attached to this song all of a sudden? It’s just something we through together because I felt like I had to justify hanging out with Brittany. I mean, I guess we did put a lot of work into it, and we rocked it._

“Tina?” said Mr. Schuester.

                “Why can’t we use this song at Regionals? It’s not sexual or vulgar or violent,” Tina said, counting out things that were forbidden or frowned on in competitive show choir, “There are no references, implicit or explicit, to drug or alcohol use. There is, in fact, nothing remotely controversial about it. Our interpretation of the song is basically ‘Vampire Dance Party.’ Who could be offended or upset about that?”

                “I just don’t think it’s something that the judges are going to appreciate, Tina. I know you worked very hard on…”

                “Isn’t it our job to _make_ the judges appreciate us?”

                “I just think that the make-up and the teeth…”

                “It’s theatricality. We just had a whole week’s lesson on it, and as much fun as Bad Romance was, this is better because it’s _original_ theatricality. Brittany and I came up with these looks ourselves. We didn’t copy we saw something in a music video.”

                “And it was totally fun thinking all this stuff up,” Brittany chimed in, holding up her bloody hands.

                “You’re so right, Britt. Mr. Shue,” Tina continued, “if Vocal Adrenaline _does_ do Lady Gaga at Regionals, the proper response is _not_ for us to _also_ do Lady Gaga. That’s just copying them and we can’t outdo them at being them. They’ve got fifty times the budget we have and they have community support. If you want to go after Vocal Adrenaline’s weakness, that’s great, but having us spend a week focusing on funk music because it’s supposedly the _one_ genre they can’t pull off is a huge waste because, A, apparently none, or at least very few of us, can do it either, and, B, they’ll just double down on whatever they are doing. Their weakness isn’t funk. Funk is a symptom of their real weakness.”

                “Which is?” Mr. Schuester seemed to genuinely want to hear this.

                “They’re automatons, Mr. Shue, soulless pieces of a machine that just so happens to make music. I have no idea which songs they’re going to sing but I can tell you exactly what they are going to do. Jesse will take center stage on all three numbers. There will be fabulous matching costumes. And there will be extremely polished choreography that in all likelihood has no real connection to the songs. They are a machine, granted an extremely well crafted machine, they haven’t won eight straight National Championships for nothing, but they are still a machine.”

                “So what do you suggest?”

                _The entire Glee Club is sitting and listening to me. This is too weird._ “Their weaknesses are our strengths. We have creativity,” Tina said, gesturing at herself and Brittany, “and we have diversity.”

                Mr. Schuester looked confused, “You want to play the race card?”

                _God he’s an idiot sometimes._ “Diversity of style, Mr. Shue. Everyone in Vocal Adrenaline kinda sings like Rachel, very polished, very well rehearsed, very Broadway, and I’m not knocking that style of singing, Rachel, nor am I saying they sing as well as you do. I’m just talking about style. Anyone ever hear any of them sing like Mercedes?”

                “Hell, to the nah!” intoned Mercedes. There was a general agreement on that point.

                “Anyone ever hear someone from Vocal Adrenaline sing like Kurt or Santana, wherever she is? Ever see one of them and think ‘I could see them being a rock star, like Puck?’ Anyone ever see any of them do anything remotely like Brittany just did a few minutes ago?” Once again there was a general consensus in the negative on that subject. “Mr. Shue, if you don’t like the vocals or the arrangement, or even if you just don’t like the song, we can work on them, but we need a set list, like, before we leave today.  We needed one a couple weeks ago, but we can’t change that now. So my proposal is that we do “Heads Will Roll” or some theatrical thing first, then let Rachel knock out a big thunderous solo in the middle, giving Brittany and I a chance to lose the vampire make-up, and then a big group number. If you don’t like that plan, that’s fine, but make a better plan.”

                “I’d say that sounds like a pretty solid plan, Tina,” Mr. Schuester responded.

“Wait,” said Mercedes, “Why does Rachel automatically get the solo?”

“Exactly,” Quinn agreed, “I want a chance to express myself, too.”

                “And I want Glee Club to exist next year,” Tina shot back. “This competition is literally a ‘do-or-die’ situation, and we’re up against the best show choir in the country for the better part of the last decade. Mercedes, Kurt, I love both of you and your voices, but Rachel is the best singer in this club, not because she’s the most talented but because she works harder at it… probably harder than all of us put together.”

                “Thank you, Tina. I do work very hard for my…”

                “Pretty sure I still had the floor, Rach. So Rachel is the best fit for the solo, if you want to fight her for it take it up with her and Mr. Shue. For those of you who want a solo, there are still the lead parts in the group number and if you want, you can try to take my spot. If you think you can one-up me in theatricality, bring it on. If you’re better than me, I’ll be big enough to admit it and step aside and you can let your freak flag fly at Regionals.”

                “Also,” said Mr. Schuester, “I’m scheduling a Spring Showcase in mid-April, so anyone who gets left out of the solos can try again for that show.”

There was a huge buzz amongst the Gleeks at this announcement. People were bouncing ideas off of each other, both for Regionals and for the Showcase. Brittany just went up to Tina and said, “T, you’re such a badass. I totally want to get my Lady Kisses on with you right now but I know you probably aren’t ready for everyone to know yet. My eyes are itching, so can we go take my contacts out and then get our mack on in the bathroom?”

Tina smiled and said, “Sweetie, I love your brain.”

“My sexy brain?”

“Your super mega sexy brain. Mr. Shue, Brittany needs help taking out her contacts, we’ll be right back.” _Wow, I totally didn’t ask permission just then. Princess Mariposa is such a badass._

“Okay, Tina.”


	8. Inevitable Confrontations

                Tina and Brittany were barely out of the choir room before their hands were intertwined. They only made it about halfway to the bathroom before they had a hand on each other’s hips. _Okay, Tina, ease up a step. The bathroom isn’t that far away, plus you do actually need to help take Brittany’s contacts out…before you get distracted._ They managed to contain themselves until the bathroom door was closed, but the second it was Tina pushed Brittany up against it and kissed her hard.

                “Ay Dios Mio! Joda mi vida!” The girls were shocked apart by the quiet, angry voice coming from behind them. It was Santana, sitting in the floor at the far end of the bathroom curled up in a ball, her hair hanging loose and disheveled. “If you’re sneaking off to the bathroom to have a clandestine rendezvous, you really should check to see if the bathroom is _actually_ empty cuz now I really wants to gouge my eyes out.”

                “San,” Brittany started, “What are you doing in here? You’re missing Glee Club.”

                “I know,” Santana said softly offering no explanation.

                “Why are you hanging out in…oh, I see.” Tina said, noticing the Cheerio’s stained uniform, the likely explanation for why Santana was hiding in the bathroom.

                “I don’t,” Brittany responded quickly.

                “She got slushied, Sweetie.”

                “And it’s all _your_ fault!” Santana spat at Tina through clenched teeth.

                “Tina didn’t slushie you, San. She was totally in Glee with me and everybody else.”

                “She means she blames me because I yelled at her in the halls, but whatever. Santana, do you have a spare uniform in your locker?”

                Santana stared at Tina for almost a full minute before responding. She shook her head, “They’re all in the Cheerios locker room which is locked because we don’t have practice. Tuesday is Coach Sylvester’s weekly Assault Weapons Training Class so she’s not here to let us in, and because it’s Coach Sylvester the security on the locker room is crazy. There’s like nine locks on it.”

                “Coach Sylvester is taking lesson on how to use automatic weapons?” Tina asked incredulously.

                “No, T,” Brittany responded, “she teaches the class.”

                Tina stood panic stricken by the idea for a long moment before shaking it off, “Okay, I’ll go get my spare clothes. You can borrow them,” Tina said as she walked towards the door, “Britt can you help her get cleaned up?”

                “Of cour…”

                Santana cut Brittany off, “I am _so_ not dressing up and joining the Asian Fang Gang.”

                “Be nice, San,” Brittany said.

                “They’re just clothes, Santana. By the time we get you cleaned up and dressed, school will be pretty much over anyway. Wear them home, change into whatever you want, bring my stuff back tomorrow,” Tina said, and continued with a smirk, “or if would you prefer I could go borrow Rachel’s spare clothes?” Santana’s eyes went wide at the thought. _Omigod, The look on her face. Priceless!_ Tina left the bathroom with a smile on her face.

                Brittany offered her best friend a hand up, Santana accepted it and stood up, twisting as she turned so that she was facing away from the blonde by the time she came still. Brittany, without prompting, reached up to help Santana unzip her Cheerios uniform. After a minute, Santana said, “So, seriously? You and Stutters?”

                Locking eyes with Santana in the mirror, Brittany said firmly, “Don’t call her that, San. She’s nice and I like her. We’ve had so much fun the last two days.”

                Brittany moved to the sink and began wetting paper towels as Santana pulled the stained top off, dropping it on the floor beside her. “This shit’s all in my bra too,” the Latina said, as she hitched up her black sports bra. “Help me clean this fucking crap up before your _girlfriend_ gets back. No free shows for her.”

                The two girls went to work cleaning the now mostly dried sticky, purple crap off of Santana’s chest and stomach. “So did you _snatch_ her v-card last night? Is that why she suddenly grew a backbone and started back talking me?”

                “No, I already told you. We were playing a game. We were pretending to be badass vampires. Tina was the Vampire Princess so she had to be like mega tough and not let you be mean to her. I’m sorry our game got you slushied. Who was it?”

                “Ah, that prick Markensen from the football team, probably trying to take a step up the social latter on my back. He got his though. I left him lying in the floor for everyone to see. Probably still in The Nurse’s Office with an ice pack on his balls,” Santana said obviously proud of herself. A moment later she spoke again, “So you _really_ like St… um, Tina, then?”

                “I totally do. She’s smart and funny and she cares about what I think and I don’t feel dumb when I’m with her.”

                “You’re not dumb, B.”

                “Like totally, I know that, but with like a lot of people I sometimes I feel like I am, but not with Tina.”

                “Well,” Santana began as she readjusted her bra to cover herself, “if you’re _really_ sure you like her, then I’ll ease up on her… a little… for you. But if she breaks my girl’s heart, there will just be little puddles of what’s left of her, comprende?”

                “Si! And good, because Tina said if you were nice that we could all be in a girl band like you wanted.”

                “You told he…”

                They were interrupted by a knock at the bathroom door; opening it slightly Tina said, “Everyone decent?”

                “I don’t know about decent,” Santana replied, “but everyone’s lady parts are covered. Now get your ass in here and give me some fucking clothes.”

                Walking in, Tina said, “I don’t have an extra bra in here, not that any of my tiny bras would fit you anyway, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with the one you’ve got on. Hope you managed to dry it out enough.”

                “If I get slushie on your fucking Edward t-shirt, I promise I’ll get it cleaned, okay?”

                Tina burst into laughter, “Oh my God, Edward. Yeah, right.”

                “Right,” Santana said smirking, glancing at Brittany, “I guess you’re more Team Esme, now, huh?”

                “San, you said you were gonna be nice,” Brittany complained.

                Tina, still laughing, said, “That’s okay, Britt. If Santana wants to demonstrate her thorough knowledge of Twilight, she can go right ahead. Here,” she added, handing the bag with her spare clothes to the Latina.

                “My stupid fucking cousins are never _not_ watching those crappy movies,” Santana replied.

                Santana sat the bag on the sink, opened it, and pulled out a long sleeve black turtleneck. “Not bad,” she commented, quickly pulling the garment over her head. “It’s a little tight, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” She turned to the side to admire the effect the slightly too small sweater had on her figure. Santana hooked her thumbs in the waist of her Cheerios skirt and pulled it down her legs and stepped out of it. In doing so, she bent over right in front of Tina thrusting her butt, covered only in a rather small pair of panties back at the Asian girl. _Omigod, Tina, stop it. You’re staring at Santana’s ass. Quit it, and for God’s sake stop licking your lips._ She managed to stop the licking but not the staring. _Seriously stop! For one thing it’s Santana and for another Brittany is standing right there._

                “See something you like, Tina?” Santana asked with a snicker and a roll of her hips. She raised a hand and smacked herself hard on her nearly bare ass letting out an exaggerated moan after.

                Tina didn’t reply. For the first time today, she didn’t have a snappy comeback to something Santana said. _Brittany’s smiling so I guess she’s okay with me ogling her best friend’s ass right in front of her. I guess Britt isn’t the only one I’m gay for._ “Will you just get dressed so we can get back to Glee? I’d like to hear our plans for Regionals.”

                Tina and Brittany went to the sink to get down to the original reason for leaving class, removing Brittany’s contacts. Santana quickly pulled on the loaned knee-length red leather skirt. “Sure thing,” she said, opting to push the sleeves of the sweater up over her elbows, “These are some nice threads, Tina. As thank you, since you clearly want to hit this, if you two ever get tired of _just_ fucking each other all the time, you give me a call. Santana love you long time.”

                The last twenty minutes of Glee Club was spent going over possible group numbers for Regionals. Lots of ideas were thrown around, good ones, bad ones, and just plain weird ones but Mr. Schuester kept coming back to “Don’t Stop Believin’” the club’s unofficial theme song. He waxed poetic about how perfect it was because of the “journey” that the club had followed. Rachel and Finn seemed rather excited about the notion, mostly because they were the presumptive leads. Everyone else eventually agreed because it was a good song and one of the ones they had rehearsed more than just a couple of times, so they’d need less prep work than any new song they came up with.

                The final bell rang and most everyone made quickly for the doors. Brittany and Tina went quickly, first to Brittany’s locker. “So our Lady Kisses got interrupted, can we finish them now?” asked the blonde.

                “You want to go back to the bathroom?” Tina asked teasingly, “What if we find another weepy, corn syrupy Cheerio? I don’t have another change of clothes here.”

                “No, silly, I mean go back to my house, and…”

                She was interrupted by Kurt intoning Beyonce, “All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies!” Brittany’s eyes lit up at the memory of the three of them making their own music video at Kurt’s house months ago. The Cheerio slammed her body against the boy’s, crushing him in a Brittany-hug. “Brittany, you’re wrinkling a Marc Jacobs here.”

                She let him go, “Sorry.”

                “It’s alright,” he said, “Now, I must say that I loved your performance and you _must_ let me help you prepare for Regionals. Your vampire chic is good, but with my help it could be amazing. Also, Tina you should be more involved in the choreography.”

                “Told you!” Brittany said triumphantly. Tina just smiled at the excited Brittany.

                “The two of you need to come to my house right this very minute, so that we can begin planning. This is not a request. You will do it, if you want my help with this project,” Kurt said.

                Tina started to point out that they hadn’t actually accepted his offer of help, but that train of thought was interrupted by her cell phone buzzing:

**From Artie: Want 2 com over 2nite? Mom making roast!**

Tina sighed quite loudly. _I need to go have this conversation and the more I put it off the worse it’s going to be. God this is going to suck._ “T, what’s wrong?” asked Brittany.

                “Oh, nothing dire, I just have to go have a really unpleasant conversation with Artie. After which, yes, Kurt, I’d gladly accept your assistance with our presentation, and the required planning trip to your house. What do you say, Britt?”

                “I say it sounds super fun! Do I need to go with you to talk to Artie?”

                “No, in fact, I’d rather you didn’t. Why don’t you get a ride with Kurt and I’ll be right behind you guys?”

                “Okay,” she said.

                “Kurt, do you mind?”

                “Of course not, I’ll also help her out of all this make-up since your little experiment in role playing seems to be at an end.”

                “Thanks, Kurt.”

**To Artie: U still @school. Need 2 talk.**

**From Artie: Waiting for Mom, com find me**

Three minutes later, Tina was outside the back entrance to the school and walking determinedly towards Artie. When he caught sight of her, Artie called out to her, “What’s happenin, Sweet Thang? You wanna come get your Battlestar on?” _Dear God, he must be the only guy in the world that doesn’t know that when a girl says they need to talk, that it isn’t something good. How can the smartest person in the class be so dense? Or is it that he just doesn’t care? Okay, stop. You came here to break up whatever there might be between you to break up, not start a fight._

                “You want to go to your house and watch Battlestar Galactica with me? And out of curiosity, what would you do tonight,” Tina was straining to keep her voice level, “if I said no?”

                “I’d probably just do some laundry and watch…” Artie trailed off, finally cluing into the fact that Tina wasn’t in the best of moods.

                “Watch Battlestar Galactica,” Tina finished for him. “And since your mom will end up doing your laundry for you if I'm there, the only bearing it would seem that I have on your night is an excuse not to do your chores. What am I to you, Artie?”

                “You’re my girlfriend.”

                “I don’t feel like I’m your girlfriend. I’ve never felt like your girlfriend. If you’re my boyfriend, then I hate to have to say it because you’re a great friend, but you are a lousy boyfriend. We never do anything. We watch a TV show that you love and I kinda like, and we listen to music that you love that I like some of. That doesn’t add up to ‘girlfriend’ in my mind.”

                “I’m… I’m sorry,” Artie said sheepishly, “Let’s do something else then.”

                “I’ve already got plans with Kurt and Brittany to work on the song for Regionals.”

                “Tomorrow, then,” he offered quickly.

                “Artie, listen, if I’m your girlfriend… if you’re my boyfriend then I cheated on you. I’m sorry if that hurts to hear, I honestly didn’t think it was cheating because I didn’t… don’t think of us as boyfriend/girlfriend, but you clearly do, so you deserve to know that.”

                “Who…”

                “Doesn’t matter. It happened. I’m sorry to hurt you like this.”

“It’s okay, Tina. We can work this out. I can be a better boyfriend to you. I can…”

                She cut him off with a wave of her hand, “I have no doubt that you _can_ be a better boyfriend, just not to me. We’re done. I’m sorry to just dump you and walk away but it’s the way it has to be. I’m sorry to hurt you and I hope we can come out friends on the other side of this, but I have to go now.” 


	9. The Drive for Endives

                “So how did Artie take getting dumped?” Kurt asked apropos of nothing. For two hours after Tina had shown up at The Hummel Household, Kurt had been all business, talking of palettes and color schemes and dress and costume designs and styles, internet sites that offered props and prosthetics and wigs and a particularly interesting type of make-up that was designed to be removed in a hurry, such as in between songs at competitions. Then when Tina was sure that she couldn’t look at one more thing or talk about the performance for one second longer, Kurt turned on a dime to this.

                Tina dropped her head sheepishly, “I’m so terrible,” she said.

                “I very much doubt that,” Kurt responded.

                “Yeah, T,” Brittany agreed, “you’re not terrible, you’re super awesome.”

                “Not to Artie, I wasn’t. I just dumped him and walked away.”

                Kurt asked, “Did you tell him why you were breaking up with him?”

                “Well, yeah, I told him that I thought he was a crappy boyfriend and that I was sick of being with someone who didn’t care if I was around or not.”

                Kurt shot a glance at Brittany before looking back to Tina, “And could he have said or done anything to make you change your mind about breaking up with him?”

                “Definitely not,” Tina responded shortly.

                “So then, what was left to be said? Should you have stood around for him to get mad? He’s not the aggrieved party, Tina,” Kurt responded, “You had every right to be upset with him.”

                “Then why do I feel so bad about it?”

                “Because you totally feel like life has been super mean to Artie already with like the whole wheelchair thing, and you think breaking up with him is mean cuz life is already mean to him, and we shouldn’t be mean to him. It’s just that breaking up with someone that doesn’t make you happy isn’t mean. It’s not a super fun time, but it’s not mean.”

                “Ask yourself this, Tina,” Kurt said, “if you were dating Mike and he treated you like Artie has, would you feel bad about dumping him?”

                “Mike? Really, Kurt? Because he’s Asian?”

                “Or Matt or Puck or… Finn?” _So something’s up between Kurt and Finn, there was serious contempt there._

                “Okay, yeah, I get your point. No, I wouldn’t feel bad about dumping them, so I don’t really feel sorry about dumping Artie so much as pity him and he doesn’t want pity about his condition. And he’ll get none, he’s just a sucky boyfriend that ignored me and took me for granted. On to a new subject, Kurt you redecorated you room. It looks amazing.”

                “Totally!” Brittany enthused, “But I’m confused. Why do you need two beds? Is it just for sleepovers or is your dad having another kid?”

                “Um,” Kurt hesitated, “Finn and his mother were supposed to move in last week, but it…”

                “KURT! I’M HOME!” Burt Hummel’s voice cut in.

                “WE’RE DOWNSTAIRS, DAD!” Kurt hollered back.

                They heard Burt’s footsteps on the stairs as he said, “Yeah, who’s ‘we’ cause someone’s driving a Camry that needs new tires.” When he was far enough down the stairs to see into the room, he said, “Oh hey! Look it’s the Destiny’s Child reunion. Kurt you’re not joining another athletic team are you?” Tina and Brittany both laughed remembering the last time the three of them had been together at The Hummel House.

                “Ha Ha, Dad,” Kurt responded, “I’m helping Tina and Brittany with a project for Glee.”

                “Great, I’ll let you get back to it. Girls, you should stay for dinner. I’m grilling steaks and potatoes, and I figure Kurt will be forcing me to eat some manner of salad to have something healthy, in case you aren’t the meat-and-potatoes type.”

                “You guys have to stay.” Kurt said enthusiastically, “My dad makes the _best_ steaks, and Oh My God! I can make that new Mediterranean Fatoush Salad I found. I need endives! I have no endives!”

                Brittany leaned over and whispered to Tina, “What are endives?”

                Tina whispered back, “I don’t know either, sweetie, but Kurt seems very excited about them. You want to stay for dinner? It’s gonna delay our Lady Kisses even more.”

                “It would be totally rude of us not to. They both totally want us to, I can so tell.”

                “And we don’t want to be rude.”

                “No,” Brittany agreed.

                “Mr. Hummel, we would love to stay for the best steaks in the world,” Tina said.

“Outstanding, Kurt, go get your endives or whatever. Steaks hit the grill in an hour,” Burt started walking back up the stairs but then stopped and looked back, “Camry owner?”

                Tina raised her hand, “That’s me.”

                “I was bein serious about those tires.”

                “I’ll tell my dad.”

                The journey to the market had been interesting. Kurt had ranted at a stock boy about the lack of quality endives they had available. Tina and Brittany still weren’t sure what they were even after seeing them. Brittany had insisted that Tina and she should get dessert since it was “totally the polite thing to do.” Tina was agreeable to that but Brittany wanted to make dessert even though she was quick to admit that she didn’t know how to cook or bake, and Tina’s skills in the kitchen were legendarily bad (at least to her family, that is), so a good deal of cajoling found them picking up a dozen Oatmeal Raisin Cookies and a half dozen cupcakes from the bakery.

                Dinner was thoroughly enjoyable for everyone. Kurt and the girls talked at length about music and fashion and movies. Burt had kept up as best he could, but he and the kids were very clearly of different generations. The food was amazing, both the steaks and the salad. Kurt had not oversold their quality in the slightest. _If friends’ families keep feeding me this well, I’m going to end up a giant, fat cow._

                “Thanks for dinner, Mr. H,” beamed Brittany, “It was totally awesome.”

                “Thank you, Brittany. I’m just glad to see my son has more than one friend.”

                “Dad!”

                “Hey, don’t get me wrong, son,” Burt continued, “I like Mercedes just fine. I just think it’s good that you have _other_ friends, too. I feel better knowing that you have a lot of support when you’re at that school of yours.”

                “So then,” Tina said with a smile, “the steaks were just a bribe to keep us coming around, then?”

                “Total bribe,” Burt replied.

                “It super worked, Mr. H,” Brittany said, more-or-less stealing the words out of Tina’s mouth.

                “Nah,” Burt started to clarify, “They were supposed to be to celebrate Carole and Finn moving in, but, ummm…” A flash of pain mixed with a little anger flashed across the elder Hummel’s face. _Something’s wrong._ “But that’s not happening, and the steaks were gonna go bad, so I figure why not, right?”

                “Right,” all three kids agreed.

                The group enjoyed the rest of their food. After everyone was finished, Tina had offered to get the dishes, but Kurt and Burt both insisted that they were guests in the house, they would absolutely not do any chores. The boys quickly cleared the table and they broke out the cupcakes and cookies as well as some chocolate ice cream from the freezer. Tina, feeling fat already, stuck to the cookies. Kurt followed suit. Burt had cookies and ice cream. Brittany happily indulged in all three explaining that no amount of junk food could stand up to the extremely rigorous exercise regimen Coach Sylvester put them through.

                By the time they were done, Brittany was a mess. Tina giggled at the sight of her and said, “Sweetie, let’s get you to the bathroom. I’ll help you get cleaned up.”

                “C’mon, Kurt,” Burt said, “we’ll get the dishes banged out real quick and they you guys can go back to doin whatever.”

                In the bathroom, Tina quickly wet a washrag and took it to the mess that was Brittany’s face. “You have cupcake frosting in your eyebrow, Brit. How did you manage that?”

                She didn’t answer; just let Tina wash her face. When the last of the ice cream and frosting was gone, Brittany quickly grabbed Tina around the neck and pulled her into a very passionate kiss. Tina quickly gave into the tingling sensation in her belly and kissed back. Tongues invaded each other’s mouths, hands roamed over each other’s bodies.  After a couple of minutes, Tina broke off contact saying, “Britt… Britt, sweetie, we can’t do this here.” Brittany was undaunted and carried on kissing Tina’s neck. Tina made a sound that was half moan, half sigh, as she pulled the blonde’s head tighter to her. After another long couple of minutes, Tina said, “Okay, Sweetie, as much I _don’t_ want you to, you have to stop this.” Brittany finally relented and let her go. Tina leaned her head down until her forehead was resting on Brittany’s. She inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the Cheerio and smiled. “Another minute of that and I think I would have mounted you right here in the bathroom floor.”

                Brittany smiled sexily, “That’s super hot.”

                Tina blushed and took Brittany’s hand, “C’mon, let’s get back out there before they think we’re doing what we almost were doing.”

                “Actually, I kinda need to go,” Brittany said, glancing toward the toilet.

                “Okay, I’ll be out here,” Tina said, opening the door. As she walked through she narrowly avoided running into Burt. “Sorry,” she said.

                “No harm, no foul,” Burt responded. “I was just coming to see if everything was alright in there.”

                “Oh, uh, yeah…” Tina sputtered out, “Britt just got frosting in her hair. We were trying to make sure it was all out. Thanks again for dinner, Mr. H.”

                “Yeah, hey, no problem. It means a lot to me that Kurt has friends at school, especially, y’know, ones that are goin through some of the same things as him.”

                _WHAT? How does…_ “I’m sorry,” she said, failing miserably in her attempt at feigned ignorance.

                “You and Brittany, I see the way you are together. You remind me a lot of me and Elizabeth, Kurt’s mom, you’re kinda completely different in most ways but you still work. Why, are you not common knowledge?”

                “Brittany and I are just…” _I really don’t want to deny Brittany like this. I may not be ready to be fully out and open, but he clearly already has us pegged and besides, he’s Kurt’s dad._ “We’re really new, not many people know, three counting you.”

                “Have you told your parents?”

                “My mom knows something’s going on. She may have told my dad.”

                “You should tell them for sure. Parents, good parents, like to know these things, things that are goin on with their kids’ lives. Your dad is Stephen Chang, right?” Burt asked.

                Tina nodded her head. “CPA to the stars,” she said with a smile.

                “And to Hummel Tire and Lube,” he said.

                “That’s pretty much who I meant by the stars, Mr. Hummel,” Tina said with a smile.

                “Yeah, so I know your dad,” Burt said, “He’s a good guy. He won’t freak out about something like this. You should tell them.”

                “I’m not even sure what I’d tell them. I really don’t even know what all of this means. I mean, I really like Brittany but I’ve never had any sort of feelings for any other girls,” _Not counting my recent fascination with Santana’s ass,_ “and I _have_ had feelings for boys in the past. Plus this me and Brittany thing has only been going on for a day, literally 26 hours now. What if it’s just a phase?”

                Burt shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe it is, but if it’s not, love doesn’t always have to take time. I knew with me and Kurt’s mom after fifteen minutes. Just talk to them, even if all you tell them is that you have questions about who you are. We people are social creatures, Tina. We need other people in our lives.” There was another hint of sadness at this statement. _Something is **definitely** wrong. I’m gonna find out what._

                “Thanks, Mr. H. I’m gonna hug you now,” Tina said, as she did just that.

                Brittany emerged from the bathroom shortly. Burt said, “Kurt’s back downstairs. I’m gonna go watch the Buckeyes kick a little Northwestern ass, if you’ll excuse me.”

                “Buckeyes?” Brittany asked excitedly, “My whole family totally love the Buckeyes! They’re totally gonna with The Big Ten this year!”

                “Brittany, don’t tell Mercedes this, but you are my new favorite of all my son’s friends. You girls want to come watch the game with me?”

                “I super do, Tina?”

                “You go ahead, Sweetie. I’m gonna go talk to Kurt.”

                Tina quickly made her way back down into Kurt’s room in the basement. “Hey, Kurt.”

                “Where’s Brittany?”

                “Bonding with your father over basketball,” Tina replied, “which works out well, because I want to talk to you about something that I sense that you are reluctant to talk about.”

                “My life is an open book, Tina,” Kurt said defiantly.

                “Okay, why aren’t Finn and his mom living here?

                “Oh…” Kurt replied quietly.

“I mean, you redecorated your entire bedroom,” Tina gestured around the room. “There’s an extra bed in here. Your dad had this amazing dinner all planned out. That sorta suggests that Mrs. Hudson’s answer was a foregone conclusion. What happened?”

Kurt was intensely studying his own lap and said, “Finn wasn’t comfortable here.”

Tina sighed, “Kurt, if Finn was just uncomfortable, he’d be stomping around here with his big stupid feet shooting everyone angry looks until he got over it. He did something, didn’t he? Or said something? Something horrible… oh God, Kurt, that’s it, isn’t it? He called you a…” Tina paused and dropped the volume of her voice, “a fag, didn’t he?”

Still not looking up, Kurt responded, “Not directly, but that was the sentiment, yes.”

“That absolute son of a bitch!” Tina said stomping off back towards the stairs.

Kurt finally looked up, “Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go murder Finn Hudson in his sleep,” Tina said determinedly.

“Okay, extreme much?”

“No, not extreme, Kurt. I’m a bi-racial, bi-curious woman,” _Yeah, didn’t mean to say that last part._ “Pejoratives get under my skin.”

“’Bi-curious’ huh?” Kurt said surprise on face before it shifted back to a sarcastic smirk, “You sound more bi- _furious_ to me.”

“Make all the jokes you need to make, Kurt, I know this upsets you, too.  You’re so distracted your _dad’s_ gaydar is working better than yours.”

“Maybe I am, but I still don’t want you to go all Santana on him,” Kurt said finally allowing the pain to show through.

Tina walked back across the room and wrapped her friend in a hug tight enough to make Brittany proud. She rested her forehead against his temple, and whispered gently, “He had no right, Kurt.” She felt tears hit her sleeve. She held him wordlessly while Kurt let go of everything he’d been holding in. Finally, she spoke again, “If I can’t hurt him, can I make him _think_ I’m gonna hurt him while I put a verbal bitch slap on him?”

Kurt gathered himself and said, “Only if I get to watch… Santina.”


	10. Beware the Wrath of Santina

                The girls left The Hummel House well after 10. Tina finally made it home a little before midnight, her curfew. They’d stopped at a park to finally have a proper session of Lady Kisses which Tina had kept mostly PG with a few PG-13 moments here and there. Their session the previous night, while amazing, wasn’t something Tina was entirely sure she was ready to make a regular thing… yet. After about 20 minutes of this, Tina had brought Brittany home and been properly introduced to the Pierces. They had vague recollections of a pretty Asian girl in their home very early that morning, but it was before their third cup of coffee, so they felt they didn’t even count as being fully awake. Tina had liked them immediately and had gotten the impression that they had liked her as well. Brittany had recounted the day’s events to them, Lady Vampire Kisses and all. They apparently had a _very_ open relationship. _Oh God! That meant that she told them about her giving me an orgasm yesterday! OH GOD!_

                It was only after Tina got home that she became so _very_ aware of how completely exhausted she was. She had been going more or less full speed ahead for almost 19 hours now. She was completely beat. She barely made it up the stairs and into her room without crashing and burning. When she made it to her room, she quickly shed her clothes and couldn’t be bothered with pajamas, so she just crawled into bed without and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

                The next morning, after a losing battle of wills with her alarm clock, Tina got up and began preparing for school. After the morning she’d had yesterday, however, she felt as though she had all the time in the world to get ready today. Brittany would already be on her way to Cheerios practice so she didn’t have to do anything with regards to her. After her morning shower, _Best. Shower. EVER._ Tina began going over the laundry list of text messages on her phone. Her phone had begun buzzing pretty regularly last night, but like a good girlfriend Tina had ignored it. _Not that I’m a girlfriend. If it was important, they would have called._ As expected, there were over a dozen from Artie ranging from being angry with her for breaking up with him to pleading for a second chance, and finally there was one time stamped 3:18 am:

**From Artie: Sry 4 all the other txts & sry being a bad bf. U deserved better. -A**

                Tina honestly had no idea how to respond to any of that so she just moved on. There were several from the various Glee Club members, apparently having heard about the break-up:

**From Rachel: I heard about your unfortunate break-up with Artie and wish to express my sincere condolences and while I recall that this was something that you weren’t exactly dreading, I know that break-ups even when expected, indeed even wanted, are still not all together pleasant events.  Despite my limited experience in this particular situation, I am as always here if you need someone to listen. -RBB**

**To Rachel: Thanks, Rach. I think I’m good with the Artie situation, but if you care to listen I have some ideas for your solo. I’m sure you already have a list, but I’d like to make a couple suggestions. –T**

**From Rachel: Of course, choir room, lunchtime? –RBB**

**To Rachel: I’ll be there –T**

**From Puck: Herd u broke up w Wheels. Puckzilla is just a phone call away.**

**To Puck: U’ll grow old w8ing on tht call, Puck.**

**From Mercedes: Girl, I just heard. Did he do sumthing to u? Cuz I’ll slap a cracker, wheelchair or not. Holla at me.**

**To Mercedes: Sry I didn’t get back to u last nite. Dead tired. Details in school 2day, promise. No slapping nec.**

**From Quinn: Ran into Artie, he seemed pretty messed up. We talked about all of it. Are you okay?**

**To Quinn: Yeah im okay. Thx 4 asking & thx for being there 4 Artie.**

                There were a few more that were mostly condolences. She sent back thanks, and then set out to deal with Finn and his crap:

**To Finn: Meet in choir room 20 min b4 homeroom.**

**From Finn: Wat for?**

**To Finn: Just be there!**

**To Kurt: Convo w Finn in choir room 20 min b4 homeroom.**

**From Kurt: I’ll be there. :)**

                Tina arrived at school eager to vent her frustrations about Finn. She found she was anxious to get her Santina on, as Kurt had dubbed her the previous evening. However, before she could deal with him, she would have to deal with Santana. She  was sitting in her car in the parking lot staring at the school building, wide eyed. Tina walked up to the passenger side door and surprisingly found it unlocked. She opened the door and sat down.

                “Bitch,” Santana yelled, snapping out of her stare, “What the fuck are you doing in my car?”

                “Bitch,” Tina echoed, practicing to be Santina later, “What the fuck are _you_ doing in your car? Don’t you have Cheerios practice?”

                Santana just stared at Tina for a minute, Tina met her stare unflinchingly. _Strange, now that I’ve done it a couple of times, standing my ground against Santana doesn’t seem so scary. I guess kinda pretending to be her doesn’t hurt that._ “The fucking GNC was having a crazy sale on protein powder so Coach sent me out after the first hour to buy like all of it. She thought it would take longer than it did, excused me from home room.”

                “So why are you out here?”

                “Because, bitch, the last time I was in that fucking place, I got a slushie thrown in my face.”

                Tina reached for the door of the car and said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I guess I got in the wrong car. I thought I was talking to Santana Fucking Lopez, Head Bitch of this school, not this whiney, pussy person that you are.” _Okay, Tina, I think you’re enjoying this a little too much._

                “Bitch, watch your tone,” Santana snapped back, “I will _fucking_ cut you!”

                “Are you or aren’t you Santana Lopez?” Tina asked forcefully.

                “Fuckin A, I am!” Santana replied.

                “And are you or aren’t you the top of the social pyramid around here?”

                “That’s the fucking problem, Tina! After your little bullshit display yesterday, I have no idea where the fuck I stand! For all the fuck I know _you’re_ the top of the pecking order around here now!”

                “Well, then,” Tina responded quickly, “problem solved. We walk in there together and act like we rule the whole damn world. Anyone gonna fuck both of us?”

                Santana grabbed up her iPod and began furiously scrolling through it. “You are fucking brilliant, bitch! I’ve even got our damn theme song. Check it!” She pushed play and “Run This Town” by Jay Z and Rihanna started blasting through Santana’s sound system. Tina sang along with Rihanna, Santana with Jay Z. When the song was done, the pair _marched_ into the school, Tina doing her best to match Santana’s body language.

                By the time they reached Santana’s locker, the girls were pretty certain that Tina’s plan had worked. Anyone who even accidentally met their gaze dropped their eyes immediately. _I’m not sure how I feel about becoming the new scary bitch on campus. I hate being afraid all the time around here, so being the one making people afraid… then again it’s not like I’ve done anything to anyone that didn’t have it coming. In fact, I really haven’t **done** anything at all aside from shouting down Santana. If the bullies of this school are scared of me now, I guess that would be their problem._ “Oh, hey, Santana,” Tina said, “I’m due to go disembowel Finn in the choir room. You want to watch?”

                “Fuck! _Do I?_ Shit, I’d damn near pay money to see it,” she replied. They started making their way to the appointed room. “Not that I care, but what’s your beef with Frankenteen?”

                “Oh, lots of crap, but the last straw was him dropping the gay f-bomb on Kurt… at Kurt’s house.”

                Santana just shook her head, “He’s such a fuckhead. You better let his ass have it or I fucking will.”

                “Oh trust me,” Tina replied, “He’s going to get every last bit of ‘it’ that he can handle. That little bit of attitude I got with you in the car was just a fucking warm up for what I’m about to serve this idiot.”

                When they got to the choir room, Kurt was already waiting on them. “What is she doing here?” he asked quickly.

                “Chill, Hummel,” Santana jumped in before Tina, “I’m back-up. In case the overgrown man-child decides he’s in a chair kicking mood, it would probably be wise to have someone on hand that can actually deal with him, physically. Tina, here, has developed a sudden knack for taking people down a peg or two, but she’s still tiny and Finn’s fucking huge.”

                “Very well,” Kurt said, “but you’ll only get physically involved if he starts something, and no provoking him into it.”

                Santana put up her hands in surrender, “Fine, it’s all T’s show. I’m here strictly as an observer-slash-defender. I’ll sit here, next to you, Tina you sit in front of us and I’ll let you do all the heavy lifting on this shit.”

                They all got into their positions just as Finn walked into the room. He was wearing a big dopey grin on his face and said, “Hey Tina, I heard you broke up with Artie. I’m real sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to make you feel…” he trailed off as he took in the room and the fact that they weren’t alone. “Um, what’s going on?”

                _Jesus, he was trying to flirt with me. God, I just threw up in my mouth. Keep it together, Tina!_ “You need to get your head out of your ass, Finn, and I mean right damn now!”

                “Tina, what are you…”

                “I am so fucking sick of you and all your bullshit. You join Glee Club and you act like you’re doing us some huge favor, as though being quarterback of the worst football team in Ohio was something special.” _I have no idea if that’s true or not, but he doesn’t seem to be trying to dispute it._ “You get in the club and you start pursuing Rachel even though you had a girlfriend… a pregnant girlfriend, no less, and okay, yes, she cheated on you and the baby’s not yours, but you didn’t know that at the time, so it makes you no less of a rampaging tool. At one point, you manipulated her, exploiting the feelings you _knew_ she had for you, to get her to rejoin Glee knowing full well that you were using her. Then after months of pursuit, the minute you _finally_ get Rachel and you just dump her without a second thought and then when she opts to start moving on, you go right back to chasing her again. All of that would have been easy enough to let go, because it’s all personal between you and Quinn and Rachel. What’s not personal is when you found out about Quinn and Puck. You were and are absolutely free to be as pissed as you care to be at them for exactly as long as you fucking care to be, but that’s not what you did, was it?” Tina paused, listening for his response. She got none. “Answer the fucking question, Finn?”

                Meekly he said, “No, I…”

                “NO!” Tina shouted, “You fucking quit the Glee Club _days_ before Sectionals. Days, Finn, before a competition that we _had_ to win. You punished all of us, for the actions of two people, and then you show up at the eleventh hour and everyone welcomes you back the big conquering hero. But even that I was willing to let go because at least we fucking won. We were going to Regionals. It meant Glee Club would continue. That was all I really cared about, and you can fuck up your own life as much as you want. I genuinely don’t give a shit about you at all, but now you’re fucking up your mother’s life with your bullshit and you’re messing with my friend. How the actual fuck could you say what you said to him?”

                “He was always flirting with me and hitting on me. He wouldn’t stop.”

                “Did you ever _tell_ him to stop?”

                “Yeah, I…”

                “Did you ever stay ‘Kurt, I’m not gay’? Or did you just do what you always fucking do when you’re uncomfortable and just smile that stupid smile of yours and hope the whole situation goes away on its own?”

                “I’m straight.” Finn said, tight lipped, “He knows that. I date girls.”

                “Plenty of people think they’re completely straight until they are offered an alternative, Finn,” _Gee, who could you be talking about there, Tina? You’re getting off track, focus._ “But maybe you’re right, maybe Kurt has boundary issues. That still comes nowhere near justifying what you said and did to him. Would you call me a chink or a slope?”

                “No, I…”

                “Would you can Santana a wetback?” Tina asked pointing a thumb back at the Latina.

                “No,” Finn said.

                “Then how do you think that it’s okay to say that to Kurt… in his own home, no less, where he’s supposed to be safe from all the bullshit this school subjects him to?”

                “I FUCKING KNOW, ALRIGHT!” Finn shouted at last.

                “Watch your tone, Gigantor!” Santana shouted back almost immediately.

                “I fucking know, alright? I already said I was sorry.” Finn said, in a normal tone of voice.

                “When was that, Finn?” Kurt spoke at last.

                “On Friday, when Karofsky and Azimio…” he began.

                “When you were making another one of your ‘Big Hero’ speeches?” Kurt asked. Finn nodded. “Well, I regret to inform you that the words ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I apologize’ never came out of your mouth. You saved me from getting beaten up and I was and am grateful for that, but you never said you were sorry.”

                “Alright,” Finn said, eyes cast down at the floor, “I’m sorry, man.”

                “That,” Tina interjected, “was the _lamest_ fucking apology I’ve ever heard.”

                “Jesus, Tina, when did you turn into Santana?” Finn spat.

                “WHEN DID YOU TURN INTO PUCKERMAN?” she shot back.

                Finn’s face went pale white in sudden realization. He looked at Kurt and locked his gaze there, “Kurt, man, I’m really sorry, dude. What I said was… it was unexcusable. I had no right to say that to you or about you, especially not in your own house. I fucked everything up. I don’t even have the right to ask, but can you find in yourself to forgive me?”

                “Only on the condition that if and when you and your mother move back in, you understand that I want you to sleep on the couch for a while, until I’m certain that you’re never going to do anything like this again.”

                “Sounds reasonable to me,” Finn said.

                “Great,” Tina said, “now go call Kurt’s dad and make a similar apology, then call your mom and apologize for screwing up her love life. Then call the moving men and when they’re packing up, have them leave all the drama at your old house, Finn.” The boys left to begin mending fences and set things right with their parents.

                Santana leaned her head up next to Tina’s ear and said, “Bitch that was fucking hot as shit. If you belonged to anyone besides my best friend, your sexy ass would already be pressed up against that wall over there screaming my fucking name for the whole goddamn school to hear.”

                Without missing a beat, Tina turned in her chair until she was facing the side of Santana’s head. _I’ll be damned if she’s one upping me._ She whimpered into Santana’s ear, “Mmmmm, oh Santana. Oh yeah, just like that, faster, faster! Ohhhh!” Then she leaned back and with an evil grin said, “Is that what it would sound like?”

                “OH FUCK YOUR COUCH! Now I’m gonna have that stuck in my head.”

                Tina stood and walked directly away from Santana towards the door. She smacked herself on the ass and said, “You started it. Too bad, for you, I belong to your best friend.” She exited the room briefly only to pop her head back in with a smirk, “Of course you do have an excused absence from home room to take care of yourself.”


	11. Playing Catch-Up

                When Brittany arrived in home room, she found Tina already there waiting on her. She wore a brief look of confusion that was replaced by one of concern. She quickly made her way to the empty seat next to Tina. _One good thing about transitioning from being painfully unpopular to scary bitch monster, anyone that actually **wants** to sit by you doesn’t have to fight for seating._

                Brittany sat and said, “So I was just in the bathroom…”

                “Britt,” Tina interrupted, “as much as I love getting to know you better, I don’t need to know about what you do in the bathroom.”

                “Okay, but this is important, and it’s not about what I do in the bathroom, but it is kinda sexy, which I totally know this isn’t the best place, but it’s better than Glee and I won’t see you again until at least tonight. Plus it’s kinda gossip-y.”

                Tina said, “Damn you for knowing my weakness for gossip. Okay, so you were in the bathroom?”

                “I washing my hands about to leave and I heard Santana making sexy sounds. She was trying to be quiet but she was _so_ epically failing. When she came, she moaned your name kinda loud, and for a minute I was super jelly, which is totally weird because I’ve never been jelly of anyone about sexy stuff before.”

                “Is this about yesterday in the bathroom? I’m sorry I stared. That was…”

                Brittany smiled and shook her head, “No, San does that a lot, mostly to the other Cheerios. She was just trying to get a reaction out of you, which she totally did.” Tina smiled and blushed a little, “But I meant I only got jelly for only like a minute because I remembered that you don’t have sexy times like me and San, and you probably wouldn’t just suddenly hook up with San in the bathroom at school no matter how much you might like her super hot ass. Then I thought about you and me and what you know about me.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “You know I like sexy times. Everybody knows that and I so totally don’t care. It’s who I am. But it’s not who I am when I’m like _with_ someone. I know we’re like totally going slow and stuff and we aren’t girlfriends or whatever, but I’m still with you, T. Do you know what I’m saying?”

                Tina nodded with a smile, “I totally do, and thank you for telling me. And you’re right; I will definitely _not_ be hooking up with Santana in the school bathroom, or anywhere else, any time soon, because I’m with you.”

                “So do you know why she was thinking about you?”

                “Yeah, before class she was trying to get another reaction out of me, trying to get me all worked up, y’know like sexy stuff?” Brittany nodded, and Tina continued, “Well, I got her back a little bit… or maybe more than a little if she had to go take care of it in the bathroom.”

                “That’s so totally hot.” Brittany laughed, “Tina, you’re such a badass.”

                “So it’s cool with you if I mess with Santana like that?” Tina asked hopefully.

                “Oh, totally!” Brittany enthused, “She completely does the same thing with Quinn except for Q never fights back with her, at least not on the sexy stuff. She just kinda blushes and gets super quiet.”

                “Yeah, I kinda got that feeling. I don’t think many people do push back against her sexy talk,” Tina said, “I think it throws her off-guard. It’s kinda fun to see her flustered.”

                Fifteen minutes later, the bell for first period rang; the girls grabbed their bags and started making their way to their classes. At the end of the hall where the girls would split to go to their respective classes, Brittany asked, “Are we having lunch together?”

                “Actually,” Tina answered, “I’m supposed to meet Rachel in the choir room to go over some ideas for her Regionals song. You are more than welcome to join us, but it might kinda boring though. I imagine it will be just more of Rachel talking a lot.”

                “Ugh! Yeah,” Brittany reacted, “that sounds super boring. I’ll have lunch with San and The Cheerios, then.”

                “Tomorrow, we’ll have lunch together. Actually, I’ll make us lunch for tomorrow. That sound good?”

                “Tina, you’re not going to cook are you?” Brittany asked with a smile.

                “Oh God! Not you too!” Tina exaggerated, “Turkey Clubs with fruit salad on the side. No cooking.”

                “Then lunch sounds totally awesome!” Brittany said excitedly before lowering her voice and continuing, “I know we aren’t kissing in the halls yet, but I sorta really want to hug you. Is that okay?”

                “Okay? You _better_ hug me,” Tina said throwing her arms out wide.

                Brittany wrapped Tina up in one of her signature Brittany-hugs, resisting the urge to lift her off the ground and spin her around, but she wanted to. Instead, she quietly whispered into Tina’s ear, “Try and see if you can get out of 6th early. I’ll show you some good places for us to get our mack on in private.”

                Tina smiled and whispered back, “Okay, I’ll text you when I do.”

                By the time Tina made it to her second period AP English class Santana had already arrived and taken her seat. The desk to Santana’s right was unoccupied so Tina made her way over to it and had a seat. “Santana,” Tina said loudly enough to be overheard, “you’re looking much less flushed that the last time I saw you. I hope you’re feeling better.” Santana said nothing, just staring at the Asian girl. “Seriously, Santana, did you get yourself taken care of?”

                Santana raised her arm in Tina’s direction and offered Tina her index and middle fingers and said, “Take a whiff and tell me what you think.”

                _I can’t believe I’m about to do this._ Tina leaned over, took Santana’s hand in her own, and inhaled deeply. “Wow, San,” _I have now effectively sniffed the girl’s crotch, I should think I have earned nickname privileges,_ “smells like you came pretty damn hard there. Imaginary Me must have _really_ rocked your world.”

                “Bitch, whatever! My fucking _hand_ rocked my world,” Santana said yanking her hand from Tina’s.

                “Did it? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that your _fucking_ hand was named Tina,” she said an enormous self-satisfied grin.

Santana, on the other hand, sat completely wide-eyed once again for a long moment before finally speaking, “Are you some kind of fucking witch or something? How the fuck did you know…”

“Awww, was I good to you, San?”

“Bitch, one more word and I will fucking cut you!”

Tina spent third period explaining the details of the Artie break-up to Mercedes through text messages and then curiously wound up largely repeating the situation to Quinn in person in fourth period AP History class. She explained that Artie hadn’t done anything to her, per se, taken her for granted, sure, but not mistreated her, and though she was glad to be clear of the relationship, such as it was, she genuinely bore Artie no ill will, and hoped that somewhere down the line they could salvage their friendship. She left out any details about what had facilitated the break-up and why she wasn’t more upset. _It kinda sucks that I can’t tell my best friend about why I’m feeling so happy the last couple days, but Baby Daddy-gate proved about how far I can trust Mercedes with a secret. Oh well, I’ve got Kurt to talk to and Brit… Santana if I’m really desperate. I should probably tell my parents like Mr. Hummel said. They’ll both be home after school. Definitely would want Britt there for that._

**To Britt: Can u com over after Cheerios?**

**From Britt: Sure! Lady Kisses? :)**

**To Britt: Of course, but also want 2 tell my parents about me, want u there.**

**From Britt: K, will txt u when we break. Don’t 4get 6 th!**

**To Britt: Wouldn’t miss it! :)**

**From Britt: ;)**

                Tina’s History classroom was only four doors down from the choir room and she had left for lunch immediately after the bell rang, and yet somehow Rachel still managed to beat her there. _How the hell? It’s like she can teleport._ “Hey, Rachel.”

                “Hello, Tina. Thank you for meeting me.”

                “So,” Tina began, “I hope you don’t mind but I wanted to make some suggestions for you solo. I know you undoubtedly already have a list.”

                Rachel replied, “I do.”

                “And I bet I can guess what on it, Barbara? Celine? Broadway Classics? Maybe a Top 40 hit or two?”

                “I guess I am somewhat predictable in my song selection. It’s just that they’re…”

                “They’re your favorites and they’re what you are comfortable with,” Tina jumped in.

                “Tina, I must say that this thing that you’re doing where you’re suddenly reading minds? It’s more than a little unnerving. Why, nearly your entire speech in Glee yesterday felt like you were taking the words out of my mouth, not to mention our text message conversation on Monday.”

                “Santana agrees with you,” Tina said with a smile before quickly moving on, “There’s nothing wrong with having favorite artists or a favorite genre, and when you busted out ‘Don’t Rain on My Parade’ on the fly at Sectionals, it was amazing, but I’ve done my homework on our competition. I’m sure you have too, and they kinda have a track record of doing a lot of the same kinds of songs as your list.”

                “I believe I see your point,” Rachel said.

                “I just think that if six show choirs all show up doing more or less the same type of music, all dressed in similar costumes, doing similar dance routines, then the exact same results will happen and Vocal Adrenaline will win again, and I know that a second place finish will keep the club alive for another year, but dammit, I want to _win_.”

                “As do I,” Rachel said with a genuine smile.

                “Well, then, I think our best chance at that is to stand out from the pack, to step out of our comfort zones and do things that will get us noticed, not just Brittany’s and my costumes and dancing, but your solo, too.  Show choir judges, they’ve heard a hundred renditions of ‘My Heart Will Go On’ and ‘I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing’ and ‘Don’t Cry For Me Argentina’.”

                “Seriously, Tina, did you find my list somewhere? That’s just weird.”

                “’Defying Gravity,’” Tina added with a smirk.

                “Okay, seriously, stop that. It’s freaking me out.”

                “So I’ve got a couple of alternate suggestions, and you can take them or leave them, but your initial instinct is going to reject them out of hand. I need you to fight that instinct and give them a listen. Agreed?”

                “Agreed,” Rachel responded quickly.

                “Okay then,” Tina began opening her laptop. Already having the appropriate videos bookmarked, she clicked on the first link. “The first one is by The Who…”

                “The Who? Tina, I think classic rock is more the forte of Finn or Noah…”

                “Rae, what did I just say about your initial instincts?”

                “Fight them, right, got it. Let’s hear the song.”

                Tina then started “Love Reign O’er Me” by The Who. The girls sat quietly together and listened to Roger Daltrey sing the powerful song, then they listened to Eddie Vedder sing Pearl Jam’s cover of the song, and then finally they listened to Heart do a live cover of the song. “Ann Wilson is so amazing,” Rachel said mostly to herself.

                “Completely amazing,” Tina agreed. Rachel jumped slightly at the sound of Tina’s voice, seemingly lost in thought and the sound of the music.

                “I’ve wanted to do a Heart song in Glee for a while, but I lack the confidence in my ability to pull of ‘rocker chick’ to the necessary degree to pay proper tribute to the Wilson sisters,” Rachel confessed.

                “Well, then, we’re doing it,” Tina said certainly.

                “What?”

                “You heard me,” Tina replied, “After Regionals, the Monday after Spring Break, you and I are doing Barracuda right here in this very choir room.”

                “Tina?”

                “Yeah?”

                “Where is all this coming from?” Rachel asked.

                Tina responded, “I told you, I want to win.”

                “No,” Rachel corrected, “I mean, shouting down Santana in the halls, dressing down Mr. Schuester, staging your very theatrical number her in Glee, deciding just now that you and I are going to do a number together. Where did this sudden surge of self-confidence come from?”

                “Oh, ummm…”

                “Is it…” Rachel paused, “is it because of Brittany?” When no response came, Rachel elaborated, “It would seem, to a careful observer such as myself, that it started sometime Monday afternoon which would coincide with the beginnings of your friendship with Brittany. It would therefore be eminently logical to think that is where it stems from.”

                “I… yes.” It was all Tina could muster.

                “Tina, you and I haven’t always been particularly close but we’ve known each other since we were five, and with all due respect to your best friend, Mercedes probably isn’t the best person to trust with this sort of information if you wish it to remain on the down low,” Tina smiled and chuckled lightly at that, “What I’m saying is, you can talk to me if you want to.”

                Tina took a deep breath, “You’ll be the first person I’ve actually told this to. A couple of people have figured it out and one person caught us together, but I’ve never actually said these words before. Brittany and I are more than just friends. We’re somewhere short actually being girlfriends and that’s because of me, not her, but I’m pretty sure I’m crazy about her.”

                “So are you gay, then?” Rachel asked.

                Tina shook her head pretty confidently, “No, my involvement with Brittany and a purely physical attraction to Santana notwithstanding, I have been genuinely attracted to and had feelings for boys as well. I’m not gay but I think I’m ready to own the title bi-sexual.”

                “I’m going to hug you now,” Rachel said, as she wrapped her arms around the Asian girl, “I’m very proud of you for being open, honest, and accepting of yourself. Have you told your parents yet? Or is that going to problematic?”

                “My mom sort of knows. I was actually planning on telling them this evening after Britt gets out of practice.  This was actually really helpful as a sort of dry run. Thanks, Rae,” Tina said with a smile.

                Rachel released the hug as she responded, “Then it is only fitting since you also helped me today.”

                “So you’re doing the song?”

                “Oh, that’s not what I meant. I haven’t decided about the song. I was actually referring to your meeting with Finn this morning.”

                “You heard about that, huh?”

                Rachel shook her head, “I didn’t hear about it. I heard it, or at least most of it.” Rachel pointed towards the door, “I was right out there. I got there just in time to hear you call The Titans the worst team in Ohio. As you said, he’s been pursuing me again, and I could feel my resistances melting. Your rather succinct summary of his many lesser qualities reminded me of why I don’t want to be with him, so thank you, Tina.”

                “Huh, no problem. What are friends for, if not for running down your ex-boyfriends?” Rachel burst into laughter at this, Tina, in turn, laughed at Rachel’s joyful laughter.


	12. Two Week-iversary

**To Rae: So Finn’s still sniffing around?**

**From Rae: Yes, despite my efforts. He’s nothing if not persistent. Do you have big plans for the special night?**

**To Rae: Nope. Britt insisted that she was making surprise plans for us. All I’m allowed to do is show up and have fun, her words.**

**From Rae: Well, knowing her, it will be amazing. Short of intimate details, you have to tell me everything tomorrow. Later!**

**To Rae: Of course. Later girl.**

                Tina’s life had been a whirlwind in the two weeks since she had started seeing Brittany. She had absolutely swept Tina off of her feet doing amazingly sweet and wonderful things, Tina’s favorite of which had been last week for their one week anniversary when they had spent the evening in a meadow of wildflowers dancing and singing under the stars. She’d come out to her parents who had, as predicted, been wonderful about it. She built an oddly easy friendship with Rachel who had quickly become Tina’s confidant about all her fears and concerns about her still unofficial relationship.

**From San: Will u handle ur woman? Wont stop buggin me about ur night!**

                Tina had even established a friendship with Santana… a begrudging, combative friendship but Tina was now pretty certain that aside from Brittany, Santana didn’t have any other kind of friendships. The two girls were still the most feared girls at McKinley, despite Tina doing very little to maintain the image. The Friday after Vampire Day, as it had come to be known, Azimio had tried to get some of his reputation back by slushie-ing Tina but had gotten Brittany instead. Coach Sylvester had not taken the news well. The slushie machine in the school had been removed the same day; the ones in the local convenience stores were gone a couple days later. The lawsuit _Sylvester, Pierce, et al vs. Slushie Co of America_ was still pending but everyone knew they would settle out of court soon. Azimio had found himself with an involuntary volunteer internship at the local dry cleaners that serviced all the Cheerios’ uniforms… uniforms that Coach Sylvester personally backed over with her Le Car every afternoon.

**To San: Sorry. Im not allowed 2 talk 2 her until she comes 2 pick me up 2nite.  U no her, she wont answer if I did call.**

**From San: Shit! Well just be ready 2 man up when she asks u!**

                The one thing Tina hadn’t been able to accomplish in the interceding fourteen days was to make Brittany and her official. Brittany wasn’t pressuring her to come out to the whole school or anything like that. She just wanted to make their relationship official between the two of them. Tina knew it should have made her happy, but for some reason it just made her extremely apprehensive. Tina was absolutely certain that Brittany would ask her tonight at some point, and Tina knew that making them officially girlfriends would make her not-quite-girlfriend so very happy. She just wasn’t sure that she could pull the trigger.

**To San: Yeah, yeah, bitch. Whatevs.**

**From San: No fuckin whatevs. U no she wants this, u want it 2. Man the fuck up!**

                That was why Tina, mostly in spite of herself, liked being friends with Santana, because she had a way of cutting through your bullshit to the heart of the matter. Tina _did_ want to be girlfriends with Brittany more than she’d ever wanted anything, but something was holding her back. She had no idea what. It wasn’t the gay thing, she didn’t care that people would talk about her because people always talked about her. It wasn’t Brittany’s reputation at school because Brittany had sworn to her that she was faithful in relationships and had proven that since then. It wasn’t Brittany’s perceived lack of intelligence because Tina knew from day one that Brittany wasn’t dumb, she just had a unique way of looking at things that didn’t always mesh with the general populous’ and that was their loss. Brittany’s unique perspective was one of the things Tina loved most about her not-girlfriend.

**From San: Break her heart & I will break u! Comprende?**

**To San: No, I’m sorry. Could u b less subtle?**

**From San: Ill b less subtle upside your head!**

**From San: Srsly, don’t fuck this up.**

                Tina had spent the entire school day trying to guess what Brittany had planned even though she knew it was pointless. She’d tried this every time Brittany made their plans and every time she had come absolutely nowhere close to figuring it out. After school she had pulled nearly everything out of her closet trying to figure out what to wear. Brittany had simply told her to “dress pretty” which didn’t tell her much since Brittany always told her that she was pretty, something Tina was still adjusting to.

**From Mercedes: Time 4 gossip?**

**To Mercedes: Always.**

                Tina felt like a crappy friend to Mercedes. She felt like she had severely neglected her best friend and their relationship, but Tina and Brittany were still keeping things quiet until they figured out what they were and Tina was still pretty certain that Mercedes was psychologically incapable of keeping a secret to herself.

**From Mercedes: Q’s not stayin w Puck ne more. Not 4 a while.**

**To Mercedes: Srsly? Where is she?**

**From Mercedes: Idk, just no she’s not @Puck’s. Herd them talkin @market.**

**From Mercedes: O, them=Puck & his mom, not Puck & Q**

**To Mercedes: That’s crazy, hope she’s okay.**

**From Mercedes: U got ne thing?**

**To Mercedes: Nothing like that. Finn still chasing Rae. Ikr? Big shock.**

**From Mercedes: That boy. Buy a damn clue. U busy 2nite?**

**To Mercedes: Ya, sry. Prob every nite until Reg.  :/**

                That was no lie. They had six days left and Tina was beginning to realize the massive load she’d taken on. She was now dancing with Brittany in their elaborate display of theatricality, necessitating hours of rehearsals. Kurt redesigned their costumes and made them himself, necessitating constant fittings. Rachel had decided to take Tina’s advice and opted to perform “Love Reign O’ver Me” at Regionals, but Rachel and Mr. Schuester had to re-work the vocals for Rachel’s voice. Tina, being Rachel’s best and only friend, had to listen to her sing it every time she changed even a single note. Tina tried her best to be patient and understanding. She knew Rachel was a perfectionist who was not use to having close friends, so she tended to go overboard. On the upside, Rachel was generally very self-aware and would eventually realize that she had gone overboard and would make a batch of her famous “I’m Sorry” cookies. _Damn those cookies are good._

As if all that weren’t enough, after a couple days’ rehearsals, Rachel had also decided to step down as the female lead on “Don’t Stop Believin’” citing the stress of re-arranging her solo piece. Mercedes, Santana, and Quinn tried out for the female part, and as a result Puck and Artie had demanded the chance to unseat Finn as the male lead, and eventually Mr. Schuester had opted to give the parts to Puck and Santana, citing them as the best combination of voices. Subsequently, Brittany had dragged them over to Santana’s house to help them rehearse. “Rehearse” in this case, meaning run through the song two or three times and then spilt up into their respective pairs and make out until Santana and Puck would go upstairs to have loud sex or for Tina and Brittany to go upstairs when Santana and Puck opted not to go upstairs before having loud sex.

**From Britt: Hey Boo! OOP, OMW Home. C U N 1hr. :)**

**To Britt: Can’t wait! :)**

                At long last, Tina had settled on wearing the same dress that she’d worn on their first night together, eschewing the cloak and combat boots she’d worn that night for a bare back and shoulders and strappy high heeled sandals. She’d teased her hair out a little and put some of Santana’s make-up tips to good use. Minutes before Brittany was due to arrive Tina looked herself over in the mirror. _I guess if I have the guts to admit that I’m bi, if only to a handful of people, then I should have the guts to admit to myself that I can be pretty damn sexy when I want to be._

                When the doorbell rang, Tina actually, literally jumped for joy. She bounded down the stairs as fast as she could in her heels and flung open the front door. The sight of Brittany made Tina glad she had a door handle to steady herself on, as she suddenly felt dizzy just from the sight of her. Aside from a small braid that hung down the left side of her face, Brittany’s hair was loose, teased up just a little. She wore little or no make-up; she didn’t need it. Her dress with virtually a photo negative of Tina’s, same style, same cut, but where Tina’s was black with violet, Brittany’s was white with pink accents. Tina was literally dumbstruck at the sight of angel on her porch.  _Words, Tina, form words. Stop drooling like an idiot. Oh God, am I drooling?_ Brittany stepped into the house as she squealed and said, “Boo! You look amazing! I was so hoping you would wear that dress! Tonight is gonna be so perfect now.”

                “Baby,” Tina said, finally regaining the power of speech, “if I look amazing then you look… radiant, angelic, _un_ believably beautiful.”

                “Aww, Boo. You always say the sweetest things.” Brittany kissed Tina chastely and then pulled her into a short hug. She let go and said, “Stay right here.” With that she went back out onto the porch and to get something. She reappeared in the doorway with a vase with two dozen roses of differing colors.

                Tina ushered her in and help her set the arrangement down. “Baby, this is beautiful. I love all this color.”

                “I know, they’re super pretty, and Miss Babette, the super smart lady at the flower shop, told me all the different colors have like special meanings. I wrote ‘em down,” Brittany said waving a piece of paper in the air, “so I wouldn’t forget. The red ones, duh, mean love and romance, the yellow ones mean friendship cuz we are super awesome friends, the white ones mean young love cuz we’re like 16 but I’m like totally crazy about you, orange means desire and enthusiasm cuz we’re totally hot when we get our mack on, pink means admiration of beauty cuz you’re a total hottie, lavender, which are the purple-y ones, means enchantment cuz our relationship feels like magic, blue roses mean mystery and wonder like when we do fantasies, I never know what’s going to happen but it’s always so much fun finding out. The black one usually means like sadness and death and stuff but that one is just there to represent you, My Beautiful Black Rose.” Tina was in tears halfway through Brittany’s speech. When it was over, Tina pulled the other girl into a very Brittany-like hug. “Happy tears, Boo?” Brittany asked.

                “Total happy tears, Baby,” Tina confirmed. “That was the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me. No matter what else we do tonight this is already the most wonderful Two Week-iversary ever.”

                Tina took a picture of the flowers before they left and as Brittany started driving them to their mystery destination, Tina sent the picture to her mother and Rachel, both of whom had sent back effusive praise of the arrangement. Tina was lost in delirium for a good ten minutes until Brittany pulled onto I-75. “Britt, where are we going?”

                “Not telling,” was all she responded with.

                About 30 minutes later, Brittany exited to the city of Findley and after only a few minutes driving through town, turned into a rather large parking lot. Tina could see spotlights waving in the night sky and she could hear music in the distance. As they pulled into a parking space and got out of the car, she could see a very large, very colorful tent in the distance. Then she saw a familiar sign, it was round and blue and it said “The Greatest Show on Earth.” Tina suddenly smiled from ear to ear as she said, “Baby, you brought me to the circus? You are the most amazing woman ever! This is _so_ perfect!” She kissed Brittany firmly on the lips not caring who might see them. The girls made their way through the fanfare partaking in hot dogs and cotton candy and funnel cake. Brittany flexed biceps with The Strongman, did back bends with The Contortionist, and marveled at the exotic animals. After several minutes of begging and pleading she was allowed to fulfill an age old wish when she gave one of the elephants a hug, an image that Tina made sure to get a really good photo of. Tina stared in adoration of the picture for several long minutes. _Why can’t I commit to this girl? She’s crazy about me. I adore her. What’s my problem?_

Then a strange thing happened. Tina looked back towards the parking lot and saw a boy in a wheelchair getting out of his van. He had glasses and dark hair. It wasn’t Artie but at a distance it was enough to make Tina think of him, and suddenly she had her answer to the previous question. “Baby!” she called to Brittany. “We need to go somewhere we can talk real quick.”

“What?” Brittany asked, “Why? What’s wrong?” Tina didn’t answer; instead she grabbed Brittany’s hand and led her away from the quickly amassing crowd. “Boo, you’re scaring me.”

Tina turned to face her, still moving forward, “Baby there’s nothing to be scared of. I just finally figured it out. Why I am so scared of us.”

They finally stopped and Tina let the blonde go. Brittany said, “You’re scared of us?”

“Of the commitment, Baby. I’ve been scared to make the commitment,” Tina replied. Brittany didn’t say anything, so Tina tried to elaborate. “You want us to be girlfriends, like officially, and I keep wanting to wait, right?”

“Right,” Brittany said, not sure where this was going.

“Well, I was scared of the commitment, and I finally figured out why. It’s because of Artie…”

“Boo, you said there was nothing left between you and Artie,” Brittany cut in.

“Exactly, there’s nothing left. We were really good friends, then we started dating and something changed between us. Then we broke up and we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, but we also aren’t friends anymore. That’s what I’m afraid is going to happen with us.”

“So you don’t want to be my girlfriend because you’re scared we will break-up?” Brittany looked to be on the edge of tears.

Tina put both hands up to Brittany’s face cupping both cheeks tenderly, “Baby, no, look at us. Look at how we are dressed; look at the beautiful bouquet of flowers you brought me. You call me boo and I call you baby. We’re constantly together and always touching and kissing each other. We’re at the circus celebrating our Two Week Anniversary. Baby, we _are_ girlfriends. I’ve just been too stupid and too scared to say it, and I’m so sorry for that. I promise I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

Now Brittany was on the edge of tears for an entirely different reason. “So we’re really girlfriends? Like we’re dating now?”

“We are really girlfriends and we’ve been dating since you showed up at my house with jerk chicken looking for Lady Vampire Kisses.”

The most joyful smile quickly stretched across Brittany’s face as some very happy tears started flowing freely, and Tina’s heart completely melted. “If you want to make it up to me,” Brittany began, “can we be out at school?”

Tina just smiled and said, “Baby, if it will keep this beautiful smile on your face for even a second longer, we can make out in the middle of the quad at lunchtime tomorrow.”

The smile did, indeed, continue as Brittany said, “We are _so_ doing that!”


	13. Find Me In The Club

                “Boo, I know it’s getting kinda late,” Brittany said on their drive back to Lima, “and I know we have school tomorrow, but I’m kinda super jazzed and I wanna go dancing. I know I can totally get us into Tektronic.”

                Tina looked at her and asked, “How on Earth are you going to get two 16 year olds into an over 21 club?”

                “Katie Greenstix, from Cheerios, her dad runs it. He knows how much I love to dance and he said that as long as I don’t drink and don’t hook up with guys and just dance, that I can come to his club any time I want. There’s this DJ playing there this week, he’s new but he’s supposed to be really good and I want to hear him, so can we go?” Brittany asked excitedly.

                _I don’t know why she even bothers asking me things anymore. It’s not like I’ve ever said no to her about anything. I’m pretty sure I don’t have it in me._ “Of course we can. I don’t really feel much like sleeping either, and it would be a shame if we both got all dolled up like this and no one but circus people got to see us.” _And since when do I want people to pay attention to me exactly? Maybe since I got the most beautiful girl in the world as my girlfriend?_ “So who’s this DJ, then?”

                Brittany was bouncing in her seat excited to go the club with her new girlfriend. “I don’t know. All I know is he’s called DJ Rapid Fire and he’s supposed to be crazy awesome.”

                “Okay, let’s do it,” Tina said. Then a thought occurred to her, “If we’re coming out tomorrow, then I really owe Mercedes a conversation, like right now. If she finds about us from anyone other than us, she’ll never speak to me again.”

**To Mercedes: Cedes! HUGE GOSSIP! Call me if u can!**

                Less than a minute later Tina’s phone was ringing. She answered it and immediately switched to speakerphone, “What’s up, Chocolate Thunder? I’m on the road, got you on speaker.”

                “Tell me something good, Asian Sensation. Did you find out where Q is?” came the voice on the other end of the phone.

                “No, this is bigger than that. This is freaking HUGE!”

                “So spill already, girl,” the eagerness in Mercedes’ voice was palpable.

                Tina couldn’t help but chuckle at her friend’s excitement. “So I just found out that Brittany has a girlfriend.”

                “Psh! How is that bigger than homeless, pregnant Cheerio? Everybody knows that girl’s door swings both ways.”

                “But they don’t know who’s on the other side of her door,” Tina said, adding, “It’s not Santana.”

                “It’s _not_ Santana?” There was a long silence from the phone and Tina was worried that they’d been cut off. “Okay, now you’ve got my interest piqued. Who is it?”

                Tina smiled again, “Oh, man, this is _so_ good. You’re never gonna believe me when I tell you.”

                “I’ll believe you, just tell me.”

                Tina gave an exaggerated sigh, “Maybe I should wait until I can tell you in person. I really want to see the look on your face when you hear it.”

                Mercedes snapped back, sharply, “Girl if you don’t tell me who the hell it is right now, there won’t _be_ an expression on my face cuz my damn head’s gonna explode. You know I can’t stand not knowing things! Who is it?”

                Tina replied simply, “It’s me.”

                There was silence and then a sound that both girls were pretty sure was Mercedes’ phone hitting the floor. They could vaguely hear Mercedes cursing her stupid phone. Tina and Brittany both stifled laughter at the sound. There was another clatter; presumably Mercedes trying and failing to pick the phone back up. Eventually she managed to retrieve the device, “Tina, you still there?”

                “I’m here.”

                “Are you messin’ with me?”

                “’Cedes?”

                “Yeah?”

                “I told you, you weren’t gonna believe me when I told you,” Tina said teasingly.

                “Damn! Yeah, okay, when… how?”

                “We’ve been seeing each other for two weeks. We just made it official a couple hours ago. We’re telling everyone in school tomorrow, so you can feel free to gossip away.”

                “Brittany there with you?”

                “Yes,” both girls answered.

                “Brittany, are you messin with Tina? This ain’t some kinda prank, is it?”

                “It’s totally not, I super swear,” Brittany responded.

                Tina chimed it, “’Cedes if this is a prank, it’s the most elaborate prank in history. I’m gonna send you a picture right now.”

                “Woah! What’s all that?” Mercedes asked.

                “That’s the two dozen roses she brought me today, for our Two Week-iversary. It has to have cost over $150 dollars, we just left the circus and we are about go to Tektronic, where apparently Britt has the pull to get us in, so we can go dancing, and that’s just what she did for me _today,_ so no, not some sort of prank. She’s my Baby.”

                “And you’re my Boo!”

                “Okay, now you two are just trying to weird me the hell out. Tina, tomorrow, lunch. I need details, many of them.”

                “Done deal. Find us in the quad. Something tells me we’ll be easy to find. Later, girl.”

                “Later.”

**To Rae: Brittany and I made it official, we’re girlfriends.**

**From Rae: I am not sure how one expresses a squeal of delight with just a tinge of jealousy in text message form, but rest assured that was my initial reaction . I am immensely happy for you and as I say just a tiny bit jealous that you have such an amazing girlfriend.**

**To Rae: We’re also coming out tomorrow.**

**From Rae: Then I shall be appropriately attired to show my support of your soon-to-be public relationship. I still want details about the date tomorrow.**

**To Rae: Lunch. Quad.**

**To San: I manned up. What u got 2 say now?**

**From San: Bitch, what u want, a cookie?**

                In a city like Lima, where there is very little to do, the few things there are to do tend to be very popular, hence why Breadstix, despite having only passable food, is still the place to be for most of the town. The same was true of Tektronic, one of the few actual clubs in Lima. True to her word, Brittany got the girls straight in. They had to sport large black X’s on their hands so that no one would serve them alcohol but neither of them cared about that. They were there to dance, not to drink, and so they did. Brittany was dancing in her seat even before she shut off the car’s engine. Brittany and Tina danced up to the club, into the club, and all over the club. _I am publically holding hands, dancing, and making out with the most beautiful woman in the world, and said woman just happens to be my **girlfriend**! Life=complete._

                An hour after they made it into the club, an hour the girls had been dancing pretty much non-stop, Brittany was still going strong but Tina was starting to fade. _Where does she get the energy?_ They had drawn more than a few glares from people nearby and with a small dose of Princess Mariposa’s indifference to people, Tina found she really didn’t care what they thought. She was dancing and singing along with some great music and having the time of her life. What did scornful looks mean compared to that? _Speaking of music, Britt was totally right about this DJ. He is crazy awesome._ She scanned the room looking for the DJ’s booth. What she found was a familiar figure busting a move while looking totally at home in his skin. It was, in fact, nothing like she’d ever seen him look before.

                Tina leaned into her girl having to shout over the music, “Britt, Baby, the DJ…”

                “He’s awesome!”

                “He is totally awesome! He’s also totally Matt Rutherford!”

                For the first time since before they go to Tektronic, Brittany stopped moving and just watched Matt working. “He seems so… peaceful and like super happy. I’ve never seen anyone look like that before,” the blonde said.

                “I have,” Tina replied.

                “Really?”

                Tina said, “Baby, when you dance, you look just like Matt does right now.”

                “I do?” Brittany asked. “That’s so cool. I wonder if that means being a DJ is like Matt’s special thing like dancing is my special thing. If it is, I’m so happy that he found it. It’s the most super rad feeling in the whole world.” Both girls stood and watched him work a few minutes. It was just as Brittany had said, he was happy and peaceful. The serenity on his face was both apparent and enviable. Then Brittany suddenly grabbed Tina by the hand and dragged her over to the DJ booth. “C’mon, let’s go say hi.”

                They quickly forced their way over to the booth where Brittany exclaimed, “MATTY! You so freaking rock!”

                “Thanks, Britt,” he replied, not looking up from what he was doing, “I thought I saw you down there. You bustin moves and breakin hearts?”

                “No, I’m just dancing with my Boo. It’s out anniversary.”

                “Well, congratulations, then. I didn’t see Sant… Tina?” he said finally looking up.

                “Surprise,” she said with a smile.

                He smiled slightly at the realization, “So how long have you two…?” he trailed off shifting a finger back and forth between the two of them.

                “Two weeks,” they said in unison and smiled at each other as they did.

                Tina then said, “How long have you been the hottest DJ in Western Ohio, Matt?”

                He chuckled slightly and said, “I dunno about all that, but I’ve been spinning for about six months and really lovin it.”

                “We could totally tell. You were super in the groove. The whole place is hoppin like crazy, mad rabbits.”

                “Thanks… um, I think.” Just then the familiar sound of someone getting a text message sounded. All three of them looked down, except Tina knew it wasn’t her phone that she kept of vibrate almost always. Instead she looked down as Matt touched the screen on his phone. There she saw a picture from right after they had won at Sectionals. That had been one hell of an afternoon. There had been millions of emotions flying in every direction, mountains of tension between Finn, Quinn, and Puck, nervousness at throwing their performance together at the 11th hour, joy and adulation when they had won, but the emotion on Matt’s face in that picture was one that Tina had recognized immediately, mostly because she saw it every time she looked in the mirror, infatuation. Matt definitely had a major league crush on the tiny girl wrapped up in his arms during that snapshot.

                “So, Matt,” Tina asked, “what’s up with you and Rachel?”

                “WHAT? NOTHING!” Matt shot back defensively.

                “C’mon Matt, I saw the picture,” Tina implored.

                “What are you talking about, T?” Brittany asked.

                “Matt, here, has a picture of himself and Rachel hugging as the home screen on his phone, and you know how I look at you all moony sometimes, like I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you? Well Matt has the exact same expression on his face in the picture, so either there’s something going on between them or Matt wants there to be something going on between them.”

                “Matty, you and RaeRae together would be like super hot. You should totally go for it.”

                “I can’t!” he fired back, almost panicked.

                “You’re single,” Tina said, “she’s single. What’s the issue?”

                “I just can’t,” he repeated, “and you can’t tell her. Promise me.”

                “Okay, sure, fine,” Tina said noncommittally.

                “No!” Matt said firmly, “Promise me, both of you.”

                Both girls obligingly said, “I promise,” again in unison.

                The girls went back to the dance floor and they thoroughly enjoyed themselves for another hour before Tina had to insist that they go home and get at least _some_ sleep before school tomorrow. When they finally got back to Brittany’s car, Tina collapsed into the passenger seat and nodded off to sleep. She woke to the sensation of Brittany nuzzling her neck, peppering it with light kisses. “Best wake-up call ever, Baby.”

                “Thanks, Boo. I thought you might like it.”

                “Thank you for the most amazing night. You are the most awesome girlfriend ever.”

                “Boo, you say the sweetest things to me,” Brittany said with a smile. It faded a little as she continued, “Tina, I really want to hook Matty and RaeRae up. He super likes her and she needs someone that treats her good, not like Finn and Jesse and Puck.”

                “Oh we’re doing that. For sure.”

                “But you promised you wouldn’t. I did too.”

                “No, Baby, we promised we wouldn’t _tell_ Rachel. We are still perfectly free to help her find out about his feelings on her own, and to show her how awesome Matt can be.”

                Brittany got very excited once again and leaned over and kissed Tina on the forehead, “I love your sexy brain.”


	14. Journey to Regionals

                True to her nature, Mercedes had let loose the fact that Brittany and Tina were dating and the story had circulated pretty well, though many doubted it’s veracity considering the pairing. Brittany and Tina walking into school holding hands lent the story some credence, but most of the doubters had continued to doubt. They knew Brittany was extremely affectionate and holding hands for her was about as casual as blinking was to most people. First through Fourth Periods the debate had raged over IMs, text messages, face-to-face conversations, everything.

                Then lunch happened. Tina had promised Brittany that they would make out in the quad and she figured if they were going to do it, they might as well do it big. She’d decided that they’d stand up on a table and make a big spectacle of themselves. Generally, no one at their school messed with Brittany because of Santana and Coach Sylvester, but Tina figured if she was going to have a reputation as a big scary monster, she might as well put it to good use and lend her name to the list of people you would have to deal with if you hurt Brittany.

                The girls had taken their time getting out to the quad so that as many people as possible would be there. By the time they had arrived all the tables were occupied so Tina quickly scoped out the one she wanted, the one currently occupied by Azimio Adams, Dave Karofsky, and Andrew Markensen, all of her least favorite football players. As the girls made their way toward their intended table, they quickly found themselves flanked by Santana, Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt, and finally Matt.

                When the group reached their destination, Tina, in full on Santina-mode, stomped one foot on the unoccupied hard plastic bench. She had worn the biggest, chunkiest combat boots she had for just this purpose, to create a very loud clunking sound. She locked eyes with Azimio and spat out the words, “My table!” With that she climbed up onto the table and surveyed the crowd. Almost all eyes were on them, and those that weren’t at that moment were the next when Azimio fled the scene like he’d been shot out from a canon. _Apparently the blood spitting and the dry cleaning gig are enough for him to not want to mess with us._ Karofsky made a big show of picking up Azimio’s books before leaving, presumably to save face.

Leaving only Markensen still at the table and while he was busy having a staring contest with Tina he missed Santana walking up beside and dumping his lunch tray in his lap. “Ooops,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “looks like you made a mess, Andy. You might need to go to the bathroom to clean it up.” He was fuming when he did it, but he left.

                _Alright, the stage is set, on with the show._ Tina offered her girlfriend a hand up on the table, which she accepted. Tina quickly surveyed the gathered student body once more, and once again all eyes were on them. She reached up, took Brittany’s face in both hands and planted a kiss on her. It was a lot more forceful a kiss than Brittany was use to out of Tina. Generally Tina’s kisses were more timid and tender, but Brittany understood that Tina was making a point today, she was Tina’s and Tina was hers and Brittany found that she liked being claimed by someone and claiming them in return. Tina was slightly more anxious about it, but she knew that she wanted Brittany more than anything, and she wasn’t going to let a little bit of anxiety get in the way of that.

                After a solid minute of very public displays of affection, Tina broke off the kiss and turned to face their audience. Brittany immediately wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. Tina covered Brittany’s hands with her own. There were, of course, cameras pointed at them because teenage boys were apparently genetically hardwired to think girl-on-girl kisses are hot. Tina finally raised her voice to address the student body, “Any of you jealous bitches got anything to say about it?”

                Dead silence.

                With that Tina hopped down to the ground. Brittany climbed down after her, and said, “What’s for lunch, Boo?”

                Tina, at the sound of her pet name, dropped the hard-ass Santina persona and smiled at her girl, “PB&J with applesauce.”

                Brittany smiled and said, “Super sweet!”

                On any sane day, Brittany and Tina’s coming out party in the middle of the quad would have been the biggest and most talked about event in school but as the Gleeks would soon find out, this was not a sane day. Near the end of lunch, Rachel got a text message and excused herself hurriedly. Rachel leaving with little fanfare and less explanation was unusual but not alarmingly so, thus no one had really thought much about it. She wasn’t even gone five minutes when she came shuffling back through the now mostly empty quad. Her eyes were wide and a blank stare hung on her face. She wasn’t even really lifting her feet to walk, just sliding them along the ground. Then they noticed Rachel was covered in what appeared to be about a dozen raw eggs.

                Tina and Matt were up and racing towards her within seconds, quickly followed by Mercedes, Kurt, and eventually Santana. Finn and Puck, seated at another table, were at her side within moments as well.

                “What the hell?” Finn said, wiping some of the sticky mess from her face.

                “Who did this to you?” Matt asked, with what might have passed for serious concern to most, but Tina could tell was really bottled fury.

                “J-J-J-Jes…” Rachel stammered out.

“Jesse St. Jackass!” Puck said flinging a soda bottle he’s absentmindedly carried with him. “Finn, Matt, that boy is long overdue for a pounding. Someone call Mike. It’s time to go all Braveheart on those Vocal Adrenaline assholes!”

                “I’m going with you, too,” intoned Kurt, to a chorus of puzzled looks, “Scoff if you like. I know I can’t throw a punch worth anything, but I’ll rip that bitch Giselle’s weave out of her hair in half a heartbeat.” This earned Kurt a clap on the shoulder from Finn and Puck and the trio stood and left.

                “Matt, go with them,” Tina prompted.

                He responded, obviously trying to keep his voice even, “I’m not going anywhere.”

                “Matt,” Tina said, “look at me. MATT!” The shout finally broke his fixation on the tiny diva. “I need you to go with them and _stop them_ from doing whatever face-smashing, tire-slashing idiotic plan that they’ve cooked up that will get them all suspended and get us disqualified from Regionals. Rachel wouldn’t want that, right?”

                All he said was, “On it,” and he was gone.

                “Baby?” Tina said over her shoulder.

                “Boo?” Brittany responded.

                “Can you and Mercedes take Rachel to the bathroom to get her cleaned up? Pick up her spare clothes along the way, if you can get her to snap out of it long enough to open her locker.”

                When the three girls were gone Santana said, “Okay, like, I get that she was way into Jesse, and whatever, and I get that that is insanely gross and salmonella and e coli and all that shit, but why the fuck is she all BSOD?”

                “Rachel’s vegan,” Tina replied.

                “Shit! Seriously?” Santana said with something approaching actual concern in her voice.

                “And fucking Jesse knew it,” Tina stared off into the distance for a long moment.

                “In that fucking case, I hope to hell Matt doesn’t stop them.”

                “Hell with that,” Tina said calmly. “To hell with beating them up, they’re a bunch of show choir kids, anyone can do that. This is too much. It’s too far damn far. We need to hit them where it really hurts them, their ability to win National Championships. I know Rachel made us swear not to, because she wanted us to win on our own merits and all that, but this is too far. I know you still have that list Santana, make the damn phone call.”

                “Thank Fucking God!” Santana exclaimed, cell phone already in hand by the time the last word came out of her mouth. She began scrolling through her contacts list, “Finally someone in this fucking club with some goddamn balls!” She punched the call button and when the other end picked up she put on her best professional voice, “Hi, Miss Tudeski, my name is Santana Lopez, I’m calling on behalf of Will Schuester at William McKinley High in Lima. Yes, well thank you and thank the board of trustees at the Regional office. Yes, the kids are working hard on getting ready for Regionals. That’s actually sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. It has recently come to light that Carmel High and Vocal Adrenaline were and _are_ planning to compete with a roster containing a fairly large number of so-called ‘seventh-year seniors.’ Right, obviously if their grades are bad enough to fail senior year three times, then they’re academically ineligible to participate in extra-curriculars like show choir. I _do_ have a list of names. Do you have an e-mail address I can send it to? Thanks. I’ll get it right over to you.” 

__________________

                Less than two hours later, in the middle of Sixth Period, Santana found herself sitting in Principal Figgins’ office with the principal, Mr. Schuester, and Shelby Corcoran, all three extremely angry with her, all trying to talk over one another to yell at her. Mr. Schuester was yelling about her “dirty tactics” and her needing to play fair. To which she tried to reply, “You don’t think they would have done the exact same thing?” but it sort of just got buried in all the yelling. Shelby was yelling about her team and this being an extreme overreaction to the toilet papering of New Directions’ choir room. Again Santana tried to stand up for herself, “Fuck the toilet paper, your kids threw eggs at…” but again she was drowned out and shouted down. Principal Figgins was yelling about her “impersonating a school official” and had already suspended her and kept threatening her with an expulsion. Santana wanted to argue with him but honestly had no idea what to say to that so anything that did come out would likely just served to antagonize him and turn her possible expulsion into a definite one.

                Everyone was so focused on the yelling that no one noticed tiny, little Rachel Berry walking into the office over the protests of Principal Figgins’ assistant. She marched into the office like she owned the place, sat herself down in the chair next to Santana, the chair that her own mother was looming over. At last the adults in the room finally noticed her presence in the room but she paid them no mind, simply smiling briefly at Santana while she waited for someone on the other end of her cell phone to answer. Principal Figgins began, “Miss Berry, this meeting…”

                He was cut off by a stern finger from Rachel. Into the phone, Rachel said in her most pleasant tone of voice, “Hi, Marcy. It’s Rachel Berry. How are you today? I’m glad to hear that, I wish I could say the same. Unfortunately it has been one of those days as I’m sure you understand. Thank you, I appreciate that. Listen is my uncle James,” she focused her eyes on the principal as she said pointedly, “the very important ACLU lawyer available to speak at the moment? A meeting? I certainly understand. Yes, I _would_ like to leave him a message, thank you. Unfortunately this is not an entirely personal call. It would seem that a classmate of mine is currently sitting in the principal’s office at my school and was, until just a moment ago when I interrupted, being what I can only describe as berated by three school officials, although only two of them are officials of _this_ school, one of whom as you might suppose by the location is the principal of this school. They do this, I might add without the presence of either said classmate’s parents or guardian or any sort of child advocate. I’m certain I heard threat of expulsion from the school.” Rachel looked up at Santa and asked, “Santana, did you ever actually _say_ that you worked for the school district or for Mr. Schuester?” Santana just shook her head silently. “All of this is going on without any legitimate cause as the student in question has done nothing wrong. I was just curious as to Uncle James’ legal opinion, so if you could just pass that message along and have him get back to me as soon as is convenient for him I would be extremely appreciative. Cookies? Yes, I believe I would a ‘baking cookies’ level of appreciativeness. Thank you, Marcy. I hope you have a lovely day as well.”

                During all this, one thought kept running through Santana Lopez’s mind. _When the hell did Rachel Berry become hot? I mean, okay, clearly she’s had a shower to rinse the egg and shit out of her hair and clearly not had the benefit of a blow dryer, so there’s more wave to her hair which looks ni… different. The clothes are clearly not hers, because since the fuck when does Rachel Berry wear form fitting tank tops and curve hugging, knee length skirts, and fucking heels that make her legs and ass look awesome, and since when does she have curves for shit to hug and legs to make look awesome? Oh Jesus, I need to get laid, I am **so** not attracted to Rachel Fucking Berry. It’s bad enough that fucking Tina seems to have some sort of magic spell to get me worked up, not this midget too._

                Once off the phone Rachel scanned the room and said, “What the _hell_ do any of you have to say for yourselves?” _Holy Fuck! Berry just cussed… in front of the principal, Shue, and her freaking mother. Am I in the goddamn Twilight Zone or some shit?_ Her gaze fell on Mr. Schuester first. “You are our coach and as such, you are supposed to support us, but this is just another representation of your blatant favoritism in the club. You, Principal Figgins, your wishy-washiness on the enforcement of punishment in this school is positively absurd. Football players and Cheerios can throw slushies in Santana’s and my and many others’ faces without any repercussions whatsoever, and yet Santana does the right thing and she suspended and threatened with expulsion. You have also violated several school rules and if I’m not mistaken Ohio State laws by failing to have her parents here. And speaking of parents,” Rachel said spinning on her heel to face the eerily identical looking woman standing behind her, “ _Shelby_ ,” Rachel made a point of drawing out her mother’s first name to be sure the woman knew where they stood as mother and daughter, “My team busted your team for cheating, cheating that you either actively or passively took part in, yet you dare to come in here and berate Santana for _her_ behavior?”

                Shelby, apparently having more backbone than the two men, interrupted, “My team is a shambles days before competition.”

Rachel took control of the conversation again, “You seem to be unaware of this, so I’ll tell you now. Your team physically and psychologically assaulted me in the parking lot of this school not two hours ago, pelting me with more than a dozen raw eggs.” Shelby’s stern face broke at this news, but Rachel continued, “By my count, eleven of your students are disqualified, leaving you sixteen, four more than the required twelve, including Jesse, your star performer. Santana’s actions have hurt your chances at Regionals, but if I were to report this to the Show Choir Board, I could easily get your entire team disqualified. Personally, I would rather beat them in competition, but if you wish to continue down this path of mutually assured destruction then I can assure you I am more than willing to take you down with us.”

“Rachel, honey,” Shelby said suddenly seeming less like the competition’s coach and more like Rachel’s mother, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re always sorry. Every time I talk to you, you’re sorry about something. You say your team is a shambles? New Directions won Sectionals with an hour to prepare, you have four days. I suggest you go get to it. Now Principal Figgins, is Santana to be expelled?”

“No,” he said chastened.

“And since, as I’ve pointed out, she’s done nothing wrong, is she still to be suspended?”

“No.”

Rachel replied shortly, “Good. Thank you. So unless you had anything to add to this discussion, Santana, I’d say this meeting is adjourned.”

“How about ‘Suck it, losers’?” she said with a self-satisfied smirk as she stood to leave.

“While, crass and crude, Santana has more or less summed up my thoughts on the issue at hand,” Rachel said addressing the adults in the room. She moved to open the glass door to the office and held it, “After you, Santana.”

When the girls were clear of the office, Santana said, “Holy motherfucking shit, bitch! Who the fuck are you and what the hell did you do with Rachel Berry?”

“I can assure you that I am the same Rachel Berry I have always been, Santana.”

“The fuck you are. The Rachel Berry I’ve known for years doesn’t dress all fucking amazing. She doesn’t march into The Principal’s Office on the phone with the freaking ACLU like God-Empress of the Universe and proceed to shout down the principal, our Glee coach, and her own fucking mother, and she damn sure doesn’t do it for me, the chief tormenter in her life.”

“Firstly, you are not my chief tormenter. Slushies come much more frequently from David Karofsky and Azimio Adams. Verbal assaults, which are much easier to ignore, come more often and more viciously from Quinn. I know you envision yourself the best at everything at this school, but on the list of Rachel’s Top Tormenters you rank at most a distant fourth and realistically, as of the last couple of weeks I think you’ve fallen out of the Top Five. Not that I’m in any way complaining about that. Secondly, I defended you and would do so again because you’re in the Glee Club, a club that I am Captain of and therefore responsible for. You are one of the featured performers at Regionals and while I certainly know the song and have a certain amount of vocal chemistry with Noah and would be able to stand in for you, as a good team captain should, I haven’t rehearsed the song in weeks and I don’t know your choreography as well as I would like. Moreover, you being suspended would necessitate us finding a last minute alternate which would likely hamper our chances at Regionals. Thirdly, I also defended you for much more personal reasons, as without either of us meaning to, you have sort of become indirectly important to my continued happiness.” Shock overtook Santana’s face. “You and Brittany are best friends. Tina and I are best friends, or at the very least she is my best friend whether she reciprocates that feeling or not isn’t germane to this discussion. You are important to Brittany. Brittany is important to Tina. Tina is important to me. Ergo, indirectly you are important to me, so if bailing you out of a proverbial kangaroo court keeps the peace in my life, then that’s what I will do. And finally,” she said with a suddenly sheepish smile, “you really think I look amazing?”

“Bitch, between the complete hotness that is this,” Santana said gesturing up and down Rachel’s body, “and the mountain of attitude you just painted the walls with back there, it’s pretty much everything I can do to keep from dragging you into the janitor’s closet and having my fucking way with you.”

“Santana, while our relationship has progressed well in the last weeks and I hope that it continues to, no matter how well developed or how close our relationship gets, you will never, ever, ever have sex with me,” Rachel paused stepping into the Latina’s personal space before continuing, “in a janitor’s closet. That is just disgusting beyond words. The levels of bad hygiene therein are just mind boggling.”

Santana laughed at this for a minute before saying, “And this look? These are your back-up clothes?”

“No, those were stolen out of my locker, presumably by someone in Vocal Adrenaline in advance of their attack on me. We had trouble with the traditional shower-in-the-sink scenario, so Brittany broke into the Cheerios locker room so I could take an actual shower. Meanwhile, Mercedes called Kurt saying that I was having a fashion emergency. He showed up with these, and I initially protested, until he also mentioned you being harangued, so I thought a sudden change in my style might help me make an impact.”

“Totally worked,” Santana said, “You walk home normally right?”

“I do, walking is excellent exercise…”

“Fucking obviously,” Santana said casting a look at Rachel’s toned legs, “Just as, I don’t know, like a little thank you or whatever, let me give you a ride after Glee.”

“Santana, if by a ride, you are offering me transportation home after school, I will gladly accept as the events of the day have left me pretty emotionally drained. However, if by ‘give me a ride’ you wish to assume a dominant sexual position with me, I must inform you that I require a certain level of courtship before I will even begin to consider entering into sexual congress with anyone. In the parlance of our times, you’ll have to buy me dinner first,” Rachel smiled one of genuine smiles at the last. She then turned on her heel and walked off down the corridor.

“Oh My God! Rachel Berry is flirting with me. Fucking stop it, you’re messing with my worldview!” Santana called after her.


	15. Regionals, Part One

               “Tina, do you want to get married?” Brittany asked. The girls were sitting about halfway to the back of the rented school bus on their way to Toledo for Regionals. They had spent most of the twenty minutes on the road so far making out. Mr. Schuester and Miss Pillsbury had chastened them to behave as though they were at school to which Brittany was all too happy to inform them that they made out at school all the time. Defeated by logic, Mr. Schuester then asked them to make sure that it was _only_ kissing. Ten minutes later, Tina needed to cool down and had called for them to stop, temporarily. That’s when the question had come. _Okay! So that happened, only a few years too soon. How do I deal with this? This could be the longest two hour bus ride ever._

               “Baby, you know we’re too young to get married, right?” Tina replied.

               “Yeah, of course.”

               “And we couldn’t get married right now even if we weren’t because the State of Ohio won’t let two girls marry each other, or two boys.”

               “Yeah, I totally know that, too,” Brittany said, “It’s totally not fair, but I know it. But do you _want_ to?”

               Tina took both of her girlfriend’s hands in hers, “Brit, Baby, why are you pushing this?

               “Because I want us to be in a serious relationship,” she replied.

               “Okay, sweetie, I’m crazy about you. I really, really am, but I’m not remotely ready to get married, Baby. I hope you understand that,” Tina said desperate to keep the peace between them. _A rejected proposal can kill a relationship faster than cheating. Please let her understand._

               “I know,” Brittany said, “but my dad says you can’t be in a serious relationship until you’ve talked about your dreams and your goals with each other to make sure your dreams fit with each other’s, so I need to talk about this because I want this to be a serious relationship.”

               “Wait, so we’re just talking about it? You’re not actually proposing to me?” Tina asked shaking her head no.

               “Duh, of course not, T. I don’t have a ring or any flowers or music, but I mean, I guess I could get music if I wanted to,” Brittany said gesturing to the rest of the Glee Club, “but I totally won’t because of all those reasons we already said, but also because we’re on a school bus. What kind of story would that be for our kids?”

               Tina smiled at this, “So you want kids, then?”

               “I wanna get married and have babies. I wanna study dance and I wanna open my own dance studio and teach little kids how to dance like Mrs. Carmichael,” Brittany said, invoking the name of the dance teacher the girls had shared as children. “And I kinda want to get out of Lima, and probably all of Ohio, especially if I end up doing all that stuff with you.”

               “I think I really like that whole image. I can totally see you doing all of that, Baby.”

               “I know, right? I think I might like to try dancing on like Broadway or something, too. Not like Rachel where she wants it to be her whole life. I’d just want to do it for just like a little bit, just to do it and maybe try being a back-up dancer so I could be in like an Usher video. That would be so super awesome, but only if that creepy little girl he hangs out with all the time wasn’t there. What about you, Boo?” Brittany gave Tina an encouraging smile.

               “Marriage, kids, yes. I want those for sure. Getting out of Ohio I am very much for. I think I want to try living a few different places. I want to live in New York, maybe not forever but for a while, which would be perfect if you did wind up on Broadway. I also want to see the world, maybe spend a summer living in Paris or Madrid or Seoul. I want to travel to Africa and see Mount Kilimanjaro and see gazelles and zebras on the Serengeti running wild and free,” Tina smiled a bashful smile. “I’ve never told anyone any of that before, Britt.” Brittany just smiled and rested her forehead against Tina’s temple. “I don’t know how or even if any of that adds up to a career, but I just know that I don’t want my parents’ life. I don’t want to live my whole life in the city I was born in doing a job that my family expects me to do.”

               The girls fell silent and just enjoyed their proximity for a while. The rest of the bus was abuzz, people playing road games, people talking and laughing. Puck and Santana were running through their parts again and again, suddenly wishing they’d taken their rehearsal time a little more seriously. Tina and Brittany ignored it all. They existed in their own little bubble and the stresses of the competition didn’t exist to them. Neither of them was nervous, they had their song down and they knew it. Their beautiful little bubble was busted after about twenty minutes when Kurt leaned over the seat in front of them and said, “What’s my favorite lesbian power couple up to?”

               Without moving or breaking their intimate posture, Tina looked up at him and said, “Brittany asked me if I wanted to get married.”

               Without missing a beat Brittany, also remaining perfectly still, added, “And Tina said yes.”

               Kurt went bug-eyed instantly and called out, “MERCEDES! They’re U-Hauling!” The girls let Kurt and Mercedes freak out about the scenario, ranting and raving, which Brittany and Tina were all too amused at to stop. Once the pair of divas dragged Mr. Schuester and Miss Pillsbury into it, however, they clarified that they were only talking about life goals, not making commitments, which Miss Pillsbury said was very mature thing to do.

               New Directions was one of six choirs competing in Region 14, which covered Western Ohio, Eastern Indiana and Southern Michigan. As last year’s regional champions Vocal Adrenaline had their choice of performance slots. For the previous six years they had always opted to go last, the showstopper position. For whatever reason, this year they had done a complete 180 and opted to perform first. New Directions had drawn the fourth spot which meant they’d be first after intermission/lunch. Mr. Schuester had called a last minute rehearsal during Vocal Adrenaline’s set to go over the group number choreography one more time. His effort to keep them from getting psyched out could not have been more transparent, but most of the group went along with it anyway. Rachel, Mercedes and Kurt however wouldn’t be denied watching the biggest hurdle of the competition for them. The group in their green room could vaguely make out the music enough to figure out that Vocal Adrenaline had gone with a Queen medley, but not well enough to tell how they did. Eventually Mr. Schuester turned his team’s music up to drown it out completely. When the diva trio returned all eyes went to Rachel with her wide eyed, slack jawed, blank stare. She quickly made her way over to an empty seat next to Tina and sat.

               “Were… were they that good?” Tina asked her gently. Rachel just shook her head slightly and Tina wasn’t sure what to make of that.

               After a long moment of tense silence Mercedes spoke in her place, “They were that _bad!_ ”

               “WHAT?” demanded half the room in unison.

               “They choked,” said Kurt. “Jesse sang lead on everything and he was solid but kind of emotionless. The rest of them looked lost up there. People were sharp and off key, tripping over their choreography. They… I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but Vocal Adrenaline _sucked_.”

               “We can actually _win,_ ” added Mercedes.

               At long last, Rachel spoke, “No,” she said firmly, “we’re _going_ to win.” With that she snapped out of her stupor and snapped back up to her feet. “Tina, Brittany go get into make-up. You don’t have to do costumes yet, but get into make-up. We’ll touch you up as needs be. Kurt, Mercedes go assist them please. We’re going over everything again, and when we’re done going over it, we’re going to go over it again…”

 _Off-off-off with your head_ __  
Dance-dance-dance til you're dead  
Off-off-off with your head  
Dance-dance-dance til you're dead  
Off-off-off with your head  
Dance-dance-dance til you're dead

               Brittany and Tina had performed absolutely flawlessly. Tina had hit every note. Brittany had remembered to sing her part in the chorus this time. Their well rehearsed choreography was completely beautiful. They hit their marks with precision, grace, and skill. When Tina sang the final note and the girls hit their final mark, the audience came out of their seats with thunderous applause and cheers, the biggest of the night that they had heard.

               They quickly but calmly made their way off-stage. Rachel said to them, “You were amazing” as they passed

               “Break a leg,” Tina called back over her shoulder.

               “Badasses,” Puck said with a smile as he passed the girls. Kurt, Puck, and Finn were following Rachel onto the stage to back up her solo on piano, guitar, and drums, respectively.

               When the lady vampires were fully through the curtain, they were yanked, physically, into make-up chairs by Mercedes and Quinn and immediately four sets of hands went about purging vampire make-up off of two faces as they heard the opening music of the solo. “They’re going to extend the music at the start and the middle to give us an extra thirty seconds,” said Quinn, “and Rachel said she was going to hold the last note as long as she could, which will give us another fifteen or twenty. It’s still not enough to use the dressing rooms, so we have a modesty curtain and a threat of death from Santana if anyone tries to peek.”

 _Only love_ _  
Can make it rain  
The way the beach is kissed by the sea._ (“Whoa,” said Matt softly. “Totally,” Mike agreed.)  
 _Only love_ __  
Can make it rain (“We’re gonna win,” intoned Artie.)

 _Like the sweat of lovers_ _  
Laying in the fields._ (“Shit!” Santana exclaimed softly.)

In one verse the four girls managed to remove all the vampire make and prosthetics. Quinn quickly shooed them towards the modesty screen to get them changed. Tina and Brittany wordlessly unzipped each other’s costumes and began shedding them roughly to the floor.

  
 _Looooooooove, reign o'er me._ _  
Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me. (_ “Homegirl is killin this song,” Mercedes commented. Quinn nodded silently.)

               The chorus brought Rachel’s trademark big notes and true to form she knocked them out, perfectly. Behind the curtain, Tina chanced a glance at her girlfriend hoping for a quick peek at her favorite set of abs in the world. What she found was far more than that as Brittany had apparently done their performance sans undergarments and now stood before her in all her naked glory. Tina clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her own squeak of excitement. She quickly whipped her head away from the sight and blushed. “Boo, what’s wrong?”

               “You’re naked, Baby.”

               “I’m your girlfriend. You’re totally allowed to see me naked.”

               “Yes, Baby, but if I see too much of it right now, I won’t be able to concentrate on the singing and the dancing.” Brittany just giggled in response.

  
 _Only love_ _  
Can bring the rain_ (“Shit,” Santana repeated.) __  
That makes you yearn to the sky.  
Only love  
Can bring the rain  
That falls like tears from on high.

By the end of the second verse, Tina and Brittany were changed and headed back to the make-up chairs. Mercedes was waiting outside the screen and set to work brushing out their hair as they walked. When they sat, Quinn went to work on make-up and Mike and Artie brought shoes over to speed things up as much as possible. __  
  
Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.  
Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.  
  


By the end of the second chorus, Mercedes had done all she could with their hair in the little time they had, a quick fog of hairspray to try to give the girls some poof to their manes. Shoes were finished. Quinn was finishing up the fastest eyeliner job ever. “She’s amazing,” Quinn said absently.

Tina responded, “I’ve heard her do the song probably 40 times start to finish and never has she sounded this good. She really is in her element tonight. We’re gonna win and it’s all gonna be because of her.”

“That’s not true,” said Artie. “You guys were awesome too.”

“Thanks, Artie,” Brittany said excitedly.

Tina echoed, “Yeah, thanks Artie.” It was the first time she’d spoken directly to him since the break-up, and she couldn’t help but smile at one-time friend. He smiled back.

 _  
On the dry and dusty road  
The nights we spend apart alone  
I need to get back home to cool cool rain. _ (“Shiiiiiit!” Santana said once more.) __  
I can't sleep and I lay and I think  
The nights is hot and black as ink  
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain.

Tina walked to the curtain, slipping quickly into Santina mode once more. She reached up and grabbed Santana by the jaw and forced her head to look Tina’s direction. “Santana, look at me!” Tina snapped her fingers in the Latina’s face and then pointed at her own eyes, “Right here, Santana! You’re freaking out because you’ve never had a lead at competition before and now you have to go out there and follow Rachel vocally.” It wasn’t a question but Santana nodded in agreement anyway. “I’m just gonna say this once. Handle your shit, bitch! You’re Santana Fucking Lopez!”

“Fuckin right, I am!” she responded.

_Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me._

_Over me, over me, over me, over meeeee._

_Loooooooooooooooooooooove!_

               As Rachel held the last note, the rest of the group made their way onto the stage and hit their marks, the original six members of the club in a line, back to the audience, flanked by Santana, Mike, and Matt stage right and Puck, Brittany, and Quinn stage left. Tina and Brittany’s ovation was dwarfed by the one that was coming for Rachel’s performance. The house band took over musical duties for their finale. Tina cast a glance at Brittany and smiled; Brittany smiled and quickly blew her girlfriend a tiny kiss. Tina’s smile grew three sizes and she hit her cue and spun to face the audience.

               Puck’s smooth rock star-in-the-making voice sang out, “Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train going anywhere.”

               Santana’s sexy, raspy voice met his, “Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit. He took the midnight train going anywhere.”

               _We are **so** gonna win!_


	16. Regionals, Part Two

               After the performance and all the subsequent whooping and hollering Mr. Schuester offered to get a late lunch/early dinner for everyone since Rachel had insisted that they continue rehearsals through the allotted lunch break in the performance schedule. Since someone from the group had to stay in the building less they forfeit, he offered to go pick up a huge variety of take out so long as people came with him to help carry it. Quinn, very pregnant and now very, very exhausted had planted herself on the couch closest to the door to their green room vowing not to get up again, at least until they announced the winners and maybe not even then. Miss Pillsbury elected to stay with her, in case she needed anything. Rachel would not be denied watching the last two groups perform. Brittany and Tina had retreated into their bubble and had no interest in doing anything that involved _not_ making out with each other. Santana elected to stay behind for reasons she opted to keep to herself.

               A group called The Songbirds from an all-girls school in Battle Creek, Michigan followed New Directions performed a selection of Motown classics, and Rachel was forced to admit that they were pretty good, not remotely a threat to them, but still good. The last group of the night was Aural Intensity from Fort Wayne, Indiana who did Beatles songs, including an extremely well done version of “Let It Be” performed by their star Carly Jackson. This worried the tiny diva.

               Rachel was back in the green room recounting what she’d witnessed and had began expressing her fears about Aural Intensity when there came a knock at the door. Before anyone could respond, the door opened and Shelby Corcoran let herself in. She walked toward Rachel who was sitting with Brittany and Tina.  When she reached the three seated girls, Shelby offered Rachel an envelope that was rather thick, “It’s from Jesse,” she said, “It’s supposed to be the deepest of apologies for the eggs. He said I could read it before I gave it to you and I started it but it’s nine pages long, and not knowing the full depth and breadth of your relationship, I thought there might be things in there that I’d rather not know.”

               Rachel took the letter, turning it over in her hands, “I’ll read it. You may let him know that if I feel he has been properly repentant, then he may expect my forgiveness in the form of a text message later on, but that he’ll get nothing more than that.”

               “I’ll pass that along,” Shelby said, there was an awkward silence for a long moment before Shelby spoke again, “Rachel, I was wondering if I might have a word with you in private?”

               Rachel just looked up from her seat and said, “No, if you wish to speak to me, feel free but Brittany and Tina are my friends, and whatever you say will be relayed to them almost immediately afterwards, so anything you have to say to me, you may say in front of them.”

               Shelby replied, “Fair enough. Rachel, I know you’re tired of hearing me say this and quite frankly I’m tired of saying it, which is to say that I’m tired of needing to say it, but I do need to say it one more time. I’m so sorry, Rachel. I’m sorry for worming my way into your life and I’m even sorrier for pushing you away when the reunion didn’t work out exactly as I had hoped. I have no excuses. My priorities are so ridiculously out of whack that I don’t even know what to say for myself, except to say that I have a plan to fix them.”

               “What’s your plan?” Rachel asked.

               “Well, the National Show Choir Board is looking at potentially having to overturn the last eight championships so naturally they’re calling for blood from Carmel High. Carmel is feeding them me and that’s fine. I mean, ‘the legacy students’ weren’t my idea but I didn’t do anything to stop it either, so I am guilty of cheating. And besides which, I need to get away from competitive choir for a while, competition in general, actually. Carmel has left me the option of resigning rather than being fired, which I’m doing effective tomorrow. I’m pretty well set moneywise. I think I’m just going to take some time off... for a long while _._ I’m going to be seeking professional help for my obsessive need to win at everything, all the time. And if you are open to it, I would really like to make another go of having some sort of relationship with you.”

               “What changed, Shelby?” Rachel asked curtly.

               “I’m sorry?” Shelby responded.

               “I mean, it’s only been a month since you wanted to ‘be grateful for each other, from afar.’ So what changed?” Rachel said, quoting a clearly painful memory.

               “I don’t know _what_ changed, Rachel, but I can tell you when it changed. It was Tuesday in your Principal’s Office when you said that my students attacked you with eggs. It was like a switch flipped in my brain or something. I felt the very sudden urge to protect you and very real desire to hurt those that hurt you. I don’t know if it just took time for my maternal instincts to kick in or what. It’s something that I am planning on discussing with my therapist. If Jesse’s letter doesn’t tell you who orchestrated it, let me know and I can find out for you. Just because I’m not their coach anymore doesn’t mean they aren’t still scared of me.”

               “That won’t be necessary,” Rachel responded. “Firstly, because revenge is a hollow pursuit that is ultimately self-destructive, and secondly because we’ve already done far worse than hurt or embarrass you team, we beat your team.”

               Shelby smiled at her daughter’s confidence, “You most certainly have. You’ve beaten everyone; you’re going to win tonight. You’d have beaten my team even if I’d had my ineligible students. You were phenomenal today, all of you. You girls,” she said looking at Tina and Brittany, “are extremely creative. I loved the costumes, the make-up, the song, all of it. Brittany, in fifteen years, I’ve never seen anyone who is as naturally gifted at dancing as you.”

               Brittany looked at Tina and said, “How does she know my name, Boo? Is she a mind reader cuz that’s so super freaky?”

               “I’m sure Ms Corcoran has done her homework on the other teams,” Tina replied. “No mind reading necessary, Baby.”

               “I have,” Shelby concurred.

               “Oh!” Brittany replied, “In that case, that’s totally sweet of you to say that. Thanks!”

               “You’re very welcome,” Shelby replied to Brittany before returning her focus to her daughter, “Rachel, I don’t want to force anything on you that you don’t want, but I really would like to have a relationship with you, if you are willing. We can start small if you want, exchange e-mails, have coffee occasionally.”

               Rachel sat silently for a long moment before finally saying, “I believe I would be amenable to that scenario.”

               “That’s great,” Shelby said smiling brightly. She reached into her purse and pulled out a business card and a pen. She quickly wrote on the back of the card and handed it to Rachel. “Just, y’know, ignore everything on the front. That’s all school stuff that won’t be any good tomorrow. On the back are my home e-mail address and my cell number, just in case you ever need anything.”

               “Thanks,” Rachel said.

               “No, sweetie, thank you,” Shelby replied and after a long beat spoke again, “Rachel, I don’t know if it means anything to you or not but I am so very proud of you. I’ve won eight National Championships but I’ve never been more proud of anyone or anything than I am of you today.”

               “It means something,” Rachel said, “A lot, in fact. Thank you.”

               After saying their goodbyes, Shelby stepped back out into the hallway only to be confronted by Santana who had slipped out of the room while no one was paying her much attention. “Hey,” the Latina said softly.

               Shelby jumped in surprise at the voice, “God, you scared the hell out of me!” When Shelby realized exactly who it was confronting her face fell. “Oh, Santana, look about the other day, I’m sorry for…”

               “K, great,” Santana cut her off, “apology accepted. You want to make it up to me? Don’t fuck Rachel over. I know, I know, you have no intentions and all that shit, but in the course of all this getting to know you crap don’t try to be anything you don’t genuinely feel cuz she’ll fucking see straight through you. That’s what she does. And you faking it will hurt her a million times worse than just being whatever it is you are now.”

               “Thanks for your honesty. I’m glad Rachel has a friend like you.”

               “She hasn’t always. I was pretty crappy to her for a long time, but when the shit went down, she had my back even when she had every reason not to. I don’t forget that kinda stuff so from now til the fucking Judgment Seat I’ve got hers.”

               “Good, I’m glad,” Shelby said and turned to leave.

               “Hey, um, Shelby,” Santana called after her.

               “Yes?”

               “I was _really_ shitty to her for like a really long time. Way longer than you have been. She forgave me. She’ll forgive you.”

               “Thank you, Santana.”

               A few minutes later, Mr. Schuester, Finn, Puck, Mike, Matt, Artie, Mercedes, and Kurt came back in lugging enough Chinese takeout to feed a medium sized army. It had taken them a full ten minutes just to sort out and arrange it before everyone could start digging in.

               Tina loaded up her plate with noodles, Szechuan Beef, and couple of eggrolls. Surveying the room she saw that Rachel was having some Diva Time with Kurt and Mercedes and that Brittany was talking excitedly with Santana. Tina saw an opening and grabbed an entire container of food while attention was elsewhere and two pair of chopsticks. She calmly made her way around the table to Artie who was clearly searching for something. She discreetly held the box beside her and said, “I think Puck was trying to hide the Orange Chicken in the middle of the table thinking you’d have trouble seeing it.”

               “But he failed to account for you and your awesome ninja skills,” Artie replied taking the offered container.

               “Well, if people anticipated my ninja skills, they wouldn’t be that awesome would they?” Tina said looking back at him. “Anyway, I thought I’d head off the epic conflict we had at our Sectionals Victory Party between you two. There’s another carton of it for him to destroy.”

               “Do you have time to talk, or do you have to…” Artie stopped himself before he said something that might come off as mean, even though he wouldn’t have meant it that way.

               Tina knew where he was going and hoped that he was just teasing about it, so she played along, “It’s been suggested by some, mostly Santana, that Brittany and I are becoming grossly co-dependent, so maybe it wouldn’t kill us to spend one meal on opposite sides of the same room fifteen feet apart.”

               “Especially since she could easy be across said room in about three gazelle-like strides?” Artie added playfully.

               “Pffft! Gazelles wish they were as graceful as my Baby,” Tina replied.

               “I know, right? Let’s sit over here,” he said wheeling himself towards a vacant chair next to a small table. Tina sat down and wordlessly offered Artie a pair of chopsticks which he accepted. They both dug into their dinners for a couple minutes.

               “So,” said Artie, “awkward small talk or shoot the elephant in the room?”

               “Fire away,” said Tina with a hand in front of her mouth full of food.

               “I wish you that you would have just told me that you’re gay.”

               “Mmm nut,” Tina mumbled, mouth still occupied. She chewed faster knowing that would need repeating. He waited for her elucidated response. “I’m not gay Artie, I’m bi. I didn’t break up with you because you were an inconvenient beard or whatever. I don’t want to start another fight or hurt you or anything, okay, but you need to know this. I broke up with you for the reasons I said. Yes, I’d already gone out with Brittany, but I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t been so unhappy in our relationship, and I’m not trying to be mean with this, okay, Artie. I just want you to understand where we went wrong so that it doesn’t happen with the next girl.” Artie tried and failed to suppress a grin at these last words. Tina didn’t miss a beat, “Artie Abrams, there’s a next girl, isn’t there?”

               “Mmmm, not exactly,” Artie replied.

               “Next guy?” Tina asked.

               Artie chuckled and waved a hand, “No, not a guy and not a hermaphrodite or a transsexual, either. There’s a girl. I like her quite a bit and I’m pretty sure she likes me. She’s just in the middle of a mess of drama and can’t deal with a new relationship at the moment. So we’re waiting, kind of in a holding pattern.”

               “Have you told her?” Tina asked.

               “Told her what?” Artie asked.

               “Duh, that you like her, dummy.”

               Artie began, “No, she’s got…”

               She cut him off, “…drama, yeah. I’m not saying go ask her out. I’m just saying tell her how you feel. Something like y’know ‘Hey, I know you’re going through a bunch of stuff right now and I’m gonna be there for you through all of it, but I want you to know that when you’re through it, I want to take you out and give us a try because I like you.’ I mean, you can put your own spin on it. That was just the general thought. You do, by the way, want to take her out… as in out of the house. I know you think Breadstix is lame but that would only be a problem if this girl is Santana, there are other places to go in Lima.”

               “And if she says no?” Artie asked timidly.

               “Then she says no, and you don’t spend weeks or months waiting on something that isn’t going to happen,” Tina replied firmly.

               “HEY!” there came a shout from Puck. “What happened to the rest of the Orange Chicken?”

               “Uh oh,” Tina said in mock horror.

               “World War III,” Artie said matching her tone.

               Their epic confrontation was staved off, however, by a call to Mr. Schuester that said that the judges had reached a decision. The team quickly dispensed with their dinner and made their way out to the stage. Quinn had begged off going until she was offered a ride by Artie which had prompted a discussion about the maximum weight limit of his chair and how far under said limit they were, but eventually they all made it to the stage.

               Local news anchor Rod Remington, the spokesman for the judges’ panel, announced the groups from sixth place down to first. When he announced the fourth place team as Vocal Adrenaline there was a nervous energy amongst the remaining three groups. They’d all known that the perennial champions had performed poorly, but it was one thing to know it and another thing to have it confirmed by the judges.

               “The second runners-up are,” intoned the big voiced newsman, “The Blingtones.” The hip-hop/R&B group from Detroit accepted their trophy and gracefully exited the stage. Everyone in New Directions held hands with one another. Tina’s hands were seized by Brittany and Rachel, the latter of whom was coming dangerously close to breaking bones with her grip. Somewhere to her left Tina heard, “Dios te salve Maria. Llena eres de Gracia El Señor esta contigo bendita eres entre todas las mujeres y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre, Jesus.”

_It’s funny, yesterday I’d have been relived right now. We’ve made at least second place. Glee Club gets another year. That was all I ever really cared about and yet now I really want us to win._

“And now,” said Rod Remington, “the winners of the 2010 Regional Show Choir Championship are…” a long pause for dramatic purposes “Lima, Ohio’s New Directions!” If the team’s celebration when they thought they were going to win was big, the one when they found out they had was huge. The guys were high fiving and chest bumping. The girls, and Kurt, were hugging and squealing at each other. Rachel actually kissed Rod Remington on the mouth she was so happy. After bouncing up and down excitedly for about a minute, Brittany leapt in Tina’s arms which was fairly awkward since Brittany was several inches taller and a lot more muscular than her girlfriend, but Tina wasn’t about to let her fall.

Brittany squealed excitedly into the air for a moment before lowering her head down next to Tina’s ear so that she could be sure she’d hear her. “Tina, Boo, I love you so much.”

Tina who was already overjoyed at winning was now suddenly in tears, big weepy tears, but couldn’t move to wipe them because she was busy holding up her beautiful blonde Baby. “Really?” she asked tentatively, “Like really?”

“Like really, totally really,” Brittany replied.

Tina set Brittany down on her feet and placed her hands on Brittany’s hips. Brittany rested her forearms on Tina’s shoulders. It had become a familiar position for the height-mismatched couple and Tina’s mind suddenly flashed back to the first time they’d been in this position. “Brittany, I think I’ve been in love with you since you sang to me in my driveway that first night.”

“Really?” Brittany asked, echoing Tina, “Like really?”

“Like really, totally really.”


	17. The Social Network

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short chapter

**Tina Cohen-Chang says:** Tonight **New Directions** won the Regional Championship, we’re going to Atlanta for Nationals! If that wasn’t reason enough to be over the moon, **Brittany Pierce** told me she loves me. :DDDD Never been so happy in all my life!!!!

15 minutes ago via Android **– Like** – **Comment**

 **Brittany Pierce, Rachel Barbara Berry,** and **14 others like this.**

 **Brittany Pierce** Luv my Boo!  <3

15 minutes ago **– Like – 3 people like this**

 **Rachel Barbara Berry** I am both extremely happy for you and Brittany, and more than a little jealous of this development in your personal relationship. As I said to you in person, congratulations on a job well done at Regionals.

15 minutes ago - **Like – 2 people like this**

 **Ms Mercedes Jones** Grats, girl. You deserve it. Grats to you too, Britt. Big ups to all my **New Directions** crew. Watch out Hotlanta, here we come!

15 minutes ago – **Like – 5 people like this**

 **Sarah Cohen** What? T, since when are you gay? I mean, I don’t care but Nana’s gonna flip. You need to be texting me.

14 minutes ago – **Like – 11 people like this**

 **Santana Lopez** HA! Way to out yourself to your whole family, Vampira! You better have said it back, bitch, else I’s gonna hafta ends you!

14 minutes ago **– Like**

 **Tina Cohen-Chang** Nana knows, Sarah. She didn’t flip. Santana, shut up. The most beautiful woman in the world loves me, you can’t ruin this day for me no matter how hard you try.

14 minutes ago – **Like – 3 people like this**

 **Mike Chang** Grats T and B. :)

12 minutes ago – **Like – 2 people like this**

 **Matt Rutherford** Grats girls.

12 minutes ago – **Like – 2 people like this**

 **Big Daddy Puckzilla** You badasses are so hot together. Call me. We’ll do a threesome.

11 minutes ago – **Like**

 **Tina Cohen-Chang** Seriously Puck? My mom reads this.

10 minutes ago **– Like**

 **Big Daddy Puckzilla** I gotta be me, T.

10 minutes ago - **Like**

 **Tina Cohen-Chang** *roll eyes*

10 minutes ago – **Like**

 **Big Daddy Puckzilla** You love me

9 minutes ago – **Like**

 **Tina Cohen-Chang** You wish I would!

9 minutes ago – **Like – 8 people like this**

 **Matt Rutherford** Burn, Puckzilla! Burn!

8 minutes ago – **Like – 4 people like this**

 **Deirdre Pierce** Congratulations girls. Tina did Brittany invite you to Spring Break yet?

6 minutes ago - **Like**

 **Tina Cohen-Chang** Um, no?

5 minutes ago - **Like**

 **Brittany Pierce** duh! i totally forgot T go 2 chat.

2 minutes ago – **Like**

**Brittany Pierce**

New Directions > ALL!!! were going to nationals!!!

about an hour ago

**Clear Chat History**

i totally flaked t im so super sorry meant 2 tell u last week – 8:55

Tina

What? -8:55

**Brittany**

mommy and aunt susan r taking me 2 Boston 4 spring break n they said 2 invite u 2 cum w us. -8:56

Tina

When? -8:56

**Brittany**

leave 2morrow nite, back sat nite -8:57

Tina

What’s in Boston? -8:58

**Brittany**

lots of stuff the red sox the patriots the bruins the crimson museums baked beans -9:00

Tina

Is that we’re doing in Boston? -9:00

**Brittany**

oh no were going to a ren faire -9:00

Tina

A Ren Faire? Baby are you dragging us all the way to Boston so we can be Beautiful Princesses together? Cuz I already agreed to that and we can do that here in Lima. -9:01

**Brittany**

tote not! the faire is where mom and aunt susan’s wedding is and i want us to be sexy maidens not princesses -9:02

Tina

So I finally get to meet the famous Aunt Susan, who is apparently your mom’s girlfriend… or fiancée, I guess? -9:02

**Brittany**

totally! -9:02

Tina

Okay let me go ask my parents -9:03

My parents want to meet your mom and Aunt Susan before we go, but they said I can go. Do we have time for a trip to The Costume Shop so I can pick up some Ren Faire clothes? I don’t think any of my Goth Gear will cut it. -9:35

**Brittany**

mommy says we can all have brunch 2morrow -9:40

10? -9:41

Tina

We’ll meet you there, Mom says. Then we can go to the shop after.

**Brittany**

awesome!

Tina

Now I need a shower and bed. I love you, Baby! <3

**Brittany**

Love you Boo! xoxo

 


	18. Meeting Aunt Susan

“Rachel, which part of ‘I’m going to a Renaissance Fair’ don’t you understand? No cell phones. Yes, emergencies. I will have my phone for emergencies. You can text me 911 if it’s an emergency, but if you do and I call you and it’s a ‘Rachel emergency’ and not a real emergency, I’m hanging up and I’ll ignore any and all further messages from you until we get back on Saturday, so think carefully before you pull that trigger. I thought you and Santana were getting along. Honey, that’s as much as anyone gets along with Santana aside from Brittany. I don’t know, because they’ve known each other forever, I guess. What does it matter? Well, if you want to know that badly, ask Santana. Yes, she may very well hit you, it’s a risk you take confronting her with emotional stuff. Weigh your sense of security versus your need to know everything and see which is more important to you. No, I’m not mocking you. Rae, I love you like crazy, I really do, and I love that we’re best friends but you do have _other_ friends that you can hang with. Like Mercedes, I know she has no plans this week because I just had a similar conversation with her earlier. Call her, you guys go watch romantic comedies and bond over a lack of love in your lives or better yet, go out together find some love for your lives. No, I didn’t mean you should date Mercedes, I meant go out somewhere with your friend Mercedes and meet boys… or girls or hermaphrodites, whatever will make you happy enough to let me go on vacation with my girlfriend! Rachel, I love you to death but sometimes I really have to fight the urge to strangle you when you get on your crazy train. Apology accepted, and I’m sorry for yelling. It’s fine. Yes, I’ll text you when we land, but after that the phone will be ignored excepting emergencies. Okay, love you, girl, bye.” _If she doesn’t find a new boyfriend soon, I’m going to scream. Oh, right, Matt. Just have to conspire a way to hook them up. Asian Cupid to the rescue!_

               Sunday brunch between the Cohen-Changs and Brittany and Deirdre Pierce had gone swimmingly. Brittany’s Aunt Susan hadn’t been able to make it due to needing to make last minute arrangements for the trip. Tina had only met Brittany’s biological mother once before, and as with the first time she couldn’t help but see the remarkable resemblance between mother and daughter, not just their looks, but also their movements and laughs were nearly perfect reflections of one another. On the one hand it was kind of weird to see the two of them sitting together because Tina was having trouble not transferring her sexual attraction to Brittany onto her twentysomething year older identical twin of a mother, and that was just creepy.  On the other hand, it was nice to know that if she and Brittany worked out long term that Brittany would likely be as beautiful as always.

               Tina’s parents had offered to help share the cost of a last minute plane ticket and the additional cost of adding another person to their vacation last minute but Deirdre explained that there was no last minute ticket, that Susan was a licensed pilot with over 500 hours logged and owned her own plane, and that Susan would be flying them all out there and back again. Brittany already had her own hotel room because who wants to spend their honeymoon sharing a room with their teenage daughter? They’d bought a family pass to the fair which included six tickets, so there was one free anyway. Thus the only added expense would be food which Deirdre and Susan insisted that they pick up since it was their idea for Tina to come.

               A trip to the costume shop had landed the girls a pair of era appropriate dresses to wear to the wedding and one other Renaissance outfit for Tina for the first day. Brittany assured Tina that there would be more selections of clothes at the fair itself since little of Gerry’s selections were particularly alluring and Brittany had specified that she wanted them to be “sexy maidens” together.

               Tina quickly found out the massive upside to flying privately was the complete non-hassle of avoiding all the lines of the airport. Airport security met you near the plane and went over your luggage without completely tossing it. No waiting around to be able to board, no being forced to sit next to some sweaty jerk with bad breath, no stale peanuts. Tina was pretty sure than Deirdre’s teacher’s salary at OSU-Lima hadn’t afforded them this luxury, so whatever Aunt Susan did, she must have made bank.

               Deirdre, Tina, and Brittany picked up their stuff from security and started making their way towards the waiting twin engine plane. If Tina had made a list of people she’d expected to see at the Toledo Airport, Sue Sylvester wouldn’t have be the absolute bottom of the list but she’d have been damn near it… and yet there she stood, sans track suit, no less.

               “Uh, Baby,” Tina said stopping dead in her tracks, “Why is Coach Sylvester here?”

               Brittany stopped and looked back at Tina, “She’s only Coach Sylvester at school, Boo. Everywhere else she’s Aunt Susan. Don’t worry she totally doesn’t act like that outside of school.”

               “Umm, okay. Your Aunt Susan… your soon-to-be step-mother, is Sue Sylvester, and you didn’t think to mention that before now?”

               “I wanted to tell you,” Brittany began slowly, “but I sorta didn’t know how. At school she’s not my aunt and outside of school she’s not my Coach and you never met her outside of school before, or maybe you did but not with me and not since we were dating. Plus, I told Q once and she totally didn’t believe me, even after they met outside of school she thought Coach had a not-evil twin sister or something.” Tina remained standing stock still having no idea what to think about this situation. “Boo, I know you’ve got like a super lot of questions, I’ll totally answer them if I can, but can we get on the plane first?”

               They loaded up and as they were waiting for clearance from the tower, Coach Sylvester looked at Tina and said, “Welcome aboard.”

               “Thanks… um, Coach,” Tina replied sheepishly, still not certain what to think of this new development.

               “Outside of school it’s Susan, okay, um, it’s Tina, right?”

               Tina just nodded. Susan closed her eyes and repeated, “Tina, Tina, Tina, Tina…”

               Confused by this Tina said, “I go to McKinley. I’m in the Glee Club.”

               “Oh, I know who you are,” she replied, tapping the side of her head, “It’s just that I took a mule kick to the parietal bone, Tijuana, ‘92. Fractured my skull in four places, since then I’m not so good with names. That’s why the Cheerios only get initials and most of the other students only get their most obvious physical attribute. On a tangential note, no matter what anyone else tells you donkey shows are really overrated.”

               Letting the last remark go, Tina asked, “So you’re not really like… that person you are at school?”

               “You mean obsessive? Violent? Overbearing? Obnoxious? Self-obsessed? Self-centered? Narcissistic? Vainglorious?”

               “Um, yeah?” Tina almost squeaked out.

               “I use to be. I use to be exactly that person that you see at school every day. Then New Years Eve 1999 happened. I met this radiant creature here,” Susan reached over and took Deidre’s hand, “She saved me from myself.”

               “I didn’t do anything, Suz. It was all you,” Deidre said.

               “You made me want to be a better person, Dee. That’s not nothing,” Susan replied.

               “So I guess I see why you keep up the persona for the Cheerios, most cheerleading coaches are pretty brutal, but what’s with wanting to destroy the Glee Club?” Tina posed.

               Susan couldn’t help but laugh at this question, “Tara…”

               “Tina,” Brittany corrected.

               “Tina, right. Tina, with the power and influence I wield at that school and in the area, if I really wanted to destroy the Glee Club, it never would have existed in the first place. Adversity builds character. By holding a gun to Schuester’s head it forces him to be a better coach and you guys to be a better team. I knew it would only be a matter of time before our Brittany got a chance to showcase her amazing talent and that would be enough to propel her into whatever career she wanted.”

               “Okay, makes sense, I guess. One more question and I’ll stop. Why doesn’t anyone know about this? I mean, me and Santana protect Brittany by being the big scary bitches, and I know you do too, but if everyone knew she was your step-daughter, no one would even dream of hurting her.” _And Omigod, I have something in common with Sue freaking Sylvester!_

               “No one at the school would, but I have other enemies, a lot of them. A great many of which wouldn’t balk at the idea of hurting Brittany to hurt me and I won’t have that. Sue Sylvester might be the craziest and most out of control cheerleading coach in the world but the second craziest and most out of control cheerleading coach isn’t far behind her and the third isn’t far behind that, any one of them would jump at any chance to bring me low. Moreover, I have political enemies that would love a chance to destroy me to stop me petitioning for the legalization of gay marriage in Ohio or for public union rights, and they too wouldn’t bat an eye at hurting one or both of my girls. Then there were those guys in Nicaragua, ’85, again names I’m not so good with, but their little revolution didn’t go the way they wanted and they blamed me. Those guys never let anything go. Oh! There’s our clearance for takeoff, go strap in girls.”


	19. Let's Talk About Sex

               They were somewhere over New York when the reality of the situation hit Tina. She and Brittany were about to spend the next five nights in a hotel room, alone. Thus far, the girls had only had one sleepover and they’d spent all of it watching movies with Brittany’s dad and step-mom. Now suddenly they were about to have a week’s worth of them. Intellectually, she’d understood this, of course, from the moment the offer was proposed but flying high over New York State Brittany and Tina were passing the time the best way they knew how, making out in the privacy of the passenger cabin of the plane. In what had become an extremely familiar situation to them, Brittany was sitting on Tina’s lap when after about ten minutes Tina had noticed that Brittany rocked her hips against Tina’s stomach. She only did it once and she hadn’t even done it hard, truth be known she had probably done it before and Tina hadn’t even noticed, but this time she had noticed and now there was something on her mind that she could not push away: sex.

               Tina had no idea why she couldn’t get sex off the brain, Brittany had been nothing but patient with her. She seemed to instinctively understand that Tina wasn’t ready for it. Hell, Tina had more or less offered herself up to Brittany on their first night together and Brittany had turned her down flat because Brittany understood that Tina wasn’t ready even when Tina hadn’t. Although they had some extremely heated sessions since that night, the fully-clothed, kissing-induced orgasm of that first night was still a unique experience for the girls.

               _It’s not her rocking hips, she’s done that before. It was yesterday at Regionals._ Yesterday Tina had seen the rapturous beauty of her girlfriend fully naked for the first time. It was only for just a split second but it had left an indelible impression and Tina was certain she wanted to see it again. Yet at the same time was scared to see it again since it meant that Tina would likely be naked in front of Brittany as well. That was definitely a source of anxiety for Tina. _Congratulations Tina, as studiously as you’ve avoided it, you are a cliché, the teenage girl who doesn’t like her body. And it’s all me too, Brittany has said over and over again that she thinks I’m sexy, but my stupid brain won’t believe her._

               Tina pulled back from Brittany’s kisses. The blonde just started trailing them down her neck and over her shoulders. “Britt,” Tina said. Brittany either didn’t hear or didn’t understand why her girlfriend was saying her name breathlessly and continued her kissing assault on the Asian girl’s exposed skin.  “Oh God, Brittany,” she half said, half moaned, “Brittbrittbritt. Need a cool down, Baby.” Brittany growled in displeasure and licked Tina’s ear before sitting upright. “Baby, I want to ask you something and I need you to be 100% honest with me, okay?”

               “Boo, I always an honest with you, except when I’m just kidding around, I mean,” Brittany said in all earnestness. “You can always totally ask me anything.”

               “I know I can, baby, it’s just something people say when they want the other person to know they’re about to ask something serious.”

               “Okay,” Brittany said with equal parts confusion and concern in her voice.

               “You’re getting tired of having to stop and cool down all the time, aren’t you? You want us to go further don’t you?” Tina asked wrapping her hands around Brittany’s waist, trying to reassure her that despite the heavy subject matter, she didn’t want distance between them.

               Brittany was quiet for a while before finally saying, “I miss having sexy times like, y’know, with someone else. I didn’t have them for a while before we got together so it’s been like two months which is way the longest I’ve gone since my first time. I have sexy times with myself and it keeps me from getting too worked up, but it’s not the same anymore.”

               “Anymore?”

               “Yeah, it’s only tingly feelings when I play with myself,” Brittany said in her typical blunt manor which still made Tina blush, although not as much as it once had. “Like most of the time when I had sexy times, it was like just tingly feelings, but with us there’s heart feelings and tingly feelings but I can only fix the tingly feelings and the heart feelings cause more tingly feelings and… and totally I know I’m not making sense right now, but like I have heart feelings for you like when I’m in class and you’re in your class, I miss you when you’re not around, and then I start thinking about the last time I saw you, and usually that mean I’m thinking about us kissing and I totally get all tingly again, which is totally a new thing for me, so it’s kinda weird but also really cool. I don’t know if I’m making any better sense, but I guess I can answer the question by saying, yeah, I wish we could go further, but I know you aren’t ready so…”

               “I think I want to be ready,” Tina cut in. “I just… I don’t know what to do to be ready. I don’t know why I’m not.”

               “Well, is it like about me? Do you doubt that I love you? I mean we did only just say it like yesterday, so maybe it hasn’t totally sunk in yet.”

               “No, definitely not,” Tina said as she intertwined their fingers, “I can feel that in the smallest touch.”

               “Good cuz I totally do with like my whole heart,” Brittany said enthusiastically. Tina smiled in return. Brittany then continued, “So like I know when I first asked you to make out with me that first night, some super small part of you was worried that it was some mean trick by like Santana or Quinn, right?”

               “How on Earth did you know that?”

               “Cuz you’d have been like mega-dumb not to, Boo, and you’re totally not dumb. Is there any like super tiny part of you that still thinks that?” Brittany asked.

               “No, Baby. I know that sometimes Santana can talk you into doing things that are kind of mean, but never for this long and besides which Santana and I are kind of friends, plus after Vampire Day and our coming out day, most of the school is scared of me now, so what would be the point?”

               “I know, right? You’re a total scary badass.”

               Tina chuckled, “I trust you, Baby. If I didn’t, I couldn’t be in love with you. I couldn’t give my heart to someone I don’t trust completely.”

               “And I know you like totally want me, right? Cuz you like totally look at me all moony and you always are like touching my abs when we get our mack on.”

               “You’re a total hottie, Baby. You know that.”

               “I totally do, Boo, but I also totally know that you don’t think you are.”

               “I…” Tina’s protest died in her throat. “It’s really not fair that you are this observant and a sneaky ninja to boot,” Tina tried to joke away the uncomfortable topic but was quickly reminded of how determined Brittany could be when she put her mind to something. The blonde just looked at her, waiting. Tina sighed in defeat, “Okay, no Britt, I don’t think I’m sexy. Pretty, I can accept, but I just don’t feel sexy, because every stupid magazine and TV show says that to be sexy I have to look like… like…”

               “Like me,” Brittany finished for her.

                Tina nodded in response, “It’s just everywhere, every day. Tall, skinny, leggy, white girls are sexy. Asian girls are just fetish objects and even then they have to be these petite, willowy, demure school girls. I’m none of those things. I’ve got big hips and big thighs and a big attitude and I dress Goth, but oh that doesn’t stop me from being as bad as everyone else about what I find sexy because look who the girl I love is, the girl that made me realize that I’m even attracted to girl in the first place. Tall, skinny, leggy, white girl, I’m pathetic.” Brittany rested her head on Tina’s shoulder mid rant. Tina ran her arm up Brittany’s back bringing it to rest on her shoulder. After a moment’s silence Tina had a sudden realization, “Omigod! What a terrible thing to say. Baby, I didn’t mean to say that I’ve been like programmed or whatever to love you. I’m so sorry.”

               “I know,” Brittany said simply. “I mean, I think you worry that the world has made you think you’re suppose to want girls like me, but that’s just kinda silly because the world doesn’t want girls to love each other like we do.”

               Tina smiled at this simple truth, “You always know just what to say to me, Baby.”

               “And you always know what to say to me and that’s why you love me, Boo, and it’s why I love you. It’s not because of what I look like or anything. It’s because we like totally get each other and we have crazy fun together and you take care of me when I need it and I take care of you when you need it, like now.”

               Tina kissed her girlfriend softly on the top of the head and said, “Are you always this scarily insightful, or is it just with me?”

               “Sorta always, but especially with you. Daddy says I read people like a book, but that doesn’t make any sense to me cuz I almost never read books except for Harry Potter, but I’m super good with people though.”

               The girls sat comfortably silent together for a several minutes again just enjoying each other’s presence until Brittany spoke again, at last, “Okay, so I have this sort of plan, I dunno if it’ll work but it’s worth a shot.”

               “A plan to do what, Baby?”

               “Oh, right! It’s a plan to try to make you understand how sexy you are to me, and the first part of the plan is we need to get our mack on some more.”

               “I like this plan already.”

               Brittany quickly resumed her position on Tina’s lap, but her kisses were much more forceful, more needful. Tina felt herself getting very worked up, very quickly. She tried to keep herself focused on this somehow helping to break through her insecurities, although at the pace they were going… _Maybe Brittany’s plan is just to kiss me so long and hard that I get so worked up that I forget my hang ups entirely._ After only a couple minutes, Brittany broke off their mouth-to-mouth contact. Tina was too into it to just stop so she moved her attention to the blonde’s neck. Brittany sighed her contentment, “Mmmm, Boo, that feels great. Part two of the plan means I have to talk but keep doing that cuz it’ll totally help with part three.”

               In between kisses Tina said, “How many parts does this plan have?”

               “Just three,” Brittany said, adding, “for now, anyway.” She closed her eyes and sighed again at the attention Tina was paying to her neck. “Tina you always tell me that I’m the most beautiful girl in the world, right?” Tina just nodded. “So that means if I wanted to, I could get anyone I wanted, right? I mean, as long as they like girls, anyway.” Tina nodded again. “Well, the only person I want is you, Boo, and I want you like super bad. This is gonna be part three and it’s gonna freak you out like probably a lot but I need you to roll with it.”

               Brittany took Tina’s right hand in hers and pulled it away from her hip moving it between the two girls. With both hands on Tina’s now, Brittany moved Tina’s hand under the loose skirt pooled on Tina’s lap and pressed it palm first against the tights covering her red hot center. The shock of realization broke Tina from her haze. She tried pulling her hand away but Brittany held her there, and Brittany was much stronger. “Brittany! What the Hell?”

               “Boo, relax.” Brittany said calmly but forcefully, “I’m not trying to have sex with you. I just need you to feel me. Do you? Do you feel how hot I am?” Tina nodded, eyes locked on Brittany’s as she continued “You make me this way, only you. I haven’t thought sexy things about anyone else in weeks. Do you understand me?”

               “Yes,” Tina said breathlessly.

               “Good, so from now on whenever you think you aren’t sexy, I want you to think about this. Think about how your hand feels right now. Think about how hot and horny you make the most beautiful girl in the world, okay? You may not be what the world thinks is hot or whatever, but to me, your girlfriend, you are so amazingly sexy.” With that Brittany released her death grip on Tina’s wrist and Tina slowly withdrew her hand from between them. Brittany added, “I love you, Boo.”

               “I love you, too, Baby,” Tina said staring absently at the hand that had, moments ago be groping her girlfriend.

               “I didn’t like break you, did I?” Brittany asked after several silent moments.

               “No, Baby. If anything, I think maybe you fixed me.”


	20. Spring Break, Part One

** Sunday **

After arriving in Boston, the girls checked into their hotel rooms which as it turned out were across the hall from one another rather than adjoining so both couples could have their privacy, a fact that Tina was thankful for. Whether she and Brittany moved their forward physically or not, Deirdre and Susan almost certainly would celebrate their wedding night together and while Tina was dealing with the idea of Susan Sylvester as an actual human being, she was definitely not ready to hear her in the throes of passion.

Brittany and Tina’s room had a single queen-sized bed, a pair of chairs on either side of a small table, a large flat screen TV with built in DVD player. It had a nicely appointed bathroom with two sinks, a shower big enough for two, and a Jacuzzi. Tina looked at the shower with a bit of apprehension before Brittany spoke up, “Relax, Boo. We can take separate showers. I want us to use the Jacuzzi together, but we can wear our swimsuits if you want.” Tina smiled at the thought but didn’t respond.

For dinner they went to a steak house that Susan knew of. Jeffery and Mary Ann joined them. The food was great and the conversation was easy. Brittany had yet to relate to any of her parents the events of their plane ride which was a relief to Tina. Brittany and her parents had a very open relationship. She told them literally everything, every detail no matter how embarrassing it might be for anyone else. Tina’s parents had always been pretty frank in talking to Tina about sex to make sure she had an understanding about the benefits and risks involved in being sexually active, but they didn’t need or want to know the particulars, so dealing with The Pierces’ relationship was something she was still working on.

After dinner, Tina and Brittany hit up some local costume shops in order to find some Renaissance wear with more sex appeal than had been available in Lima. The first couple places they visited had been pretty thoroughly ransacked no doubt by many of the people who would be in attendance of the fair this week. However, in the third shop they went to, the girls hit pay dirt, finding both dresses and shirt-and-skirt combos in both girls’ sizes as well as a variety of period appropriate accessories.

That night they took separate showers, Tina going first and grabbing some time to read while Brittany was in. When she got out, Brittany asked, “Whacha reading, Boo?”

“I read this and it made me think about you. ’All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.’” Tina quoted.

“Buddha,” Brittany replied, correctly identifying the author. “That’s totally like my whole life philosophy.

Tina smiled. _This girl never fails to amaze me._

** Monday **

The next day was a blur. The first day at the fair was absolute sensory overload. Everywhere Tina looked there was something interesting to do or look at or listen to. For lunch Tina vaguely recalled eating something called Turkey Stew and distinctly remembered it being very good. Beyond that, the whole day was a very exciting, very tiring blur. Dinner was at a barbeque restaurant where they had a small mountain of spare ribs and some authentic Boston Baked Beans. Both girls crashed in their bed as soon as they got back to the room.

** Tuesday **

The next day was the joust tournament which Tina was interested in but Brittany was not, so she and her mother stayed in town to get their hair cut for the wedding the following day. Tina attended the joust and found it very interesting… for about an hour. After that, it was just pairs of guys with long sticks running into each other on horseback. There seemed very little skill or strategy involved as far as she could tell, just luck and hand strength.

So she left the joust and went to see the Royal Zoo, a collection of big cats from around the world. The animals were beautiful and the show was very entertaining. Tina got to pet a lion cub which was something she never thought she’d do in her lifetime. _I definitely have to bring Brittany back here. If I get to pet a baby lion and she doesn’t she’ll likely never forgive me._

She went to the sword fighting demonstration and while these people were clearly far more skilled than the jousters, it still didn’t hold her interest for very long. It seemed as though the fair was a lot less fun without her girlfriend around. _God, Santana’s right. We are co-dependent._

Eventually Tina retired back to the hotel room. Rifling through her bag for some non-Renaissance clothes to wear when she came across the bikini she had packed in case they wanted to go swimming at some point. Then she remembered Brittany’s desire to make use of the Jacuzzi at some point this week, and an idea formulated an idea to push the boundaries of her physical comfort zone. Instead of being scared of it, Tina found herself excited at the prospect. She retrieved her phone, which had seven messages from Rachel on it. None of them were tagged 911, so they all got ignored.

**To Britt: When u coming back 2 the hotel?**

**From Britt: omw now. grabbing a pizza 4 us. wat’s up?**

**To Britt: I think it’s Jacuzzi night!**

**From Britt: AWESOME! brt**

Tina glanced through Rachel’s messages. They were all just accounts of her time this week. Apparently she and Mercedes had hung out yesterday and watched musicals. Today she was apparently spending the day with Santana. _That had to be interesting._

Tina quickly donned her black and blue print swimsuit that matched her hair and covered with her pajama pants and a loose tank top. Brittany showed up a few minutes later. They quickly ate their fill of pizza, and then Tina went into the bathroom to start filling the tub while Brittany changed into her swimsuit. When it was about half full, Tina shed her top layer of clothes and got in. She suddenly felt very relaxed. However, her relaxation quickly ended when Brittany came into the bathroom dressed in just about the least amount of fabric that could reasonably be called a bikini. Any less and it would just be strings tied to her amazing body. Tiny bright yellow triangles covered her but not all that well as Tina could plainly see the edge of one areola peeking out of her top and a couple of blonde curls above the bottoms. _Well, I **wanted** to push the boundaries of my comfort zone. Britt seems happy to bulldoze them completely._

“Baby, you’re so sexy it’s unbelievable,” Tina commented.

“Thanks, Boo! You like my new suit? I totally bought it special for this. Sorry I didn’t make it to the fair.”

The girls settled in and spent a few minutes just silently relaxing together before Tina asked, “So what have you been up to all day?”

“Mom and me wound up going shopping. She left her make-up bag back in Lima so we had to go replace all of it, then we wound up finding this super cool dress shop. I think we need to go back there to get our prom dresses while we’re here. They had some totally super cute stuff.”

Tina chuckled and said, “We can if you want, Britt, but prom’s over a year away.”

“No it’s not. It’s totally in a couple of weeks.”

“Well, okay, yeah, but it’s Junior Prom and we’re sophomores. We don’t get to go.”

“San said that me and her get to go because we’re Cheerios, so then you totally get to go because you’re my girlfriend, and I already made sure that the school couldn’t stop me from bringing a girl as a date to prom. Rachel said I was totally allowed,” Brittany corrected.

“Really?” asked Tina, a big smile on her face. “Awesome! Then we should definitely go dress shopping tomorrow… after the wedding, of course.”

“Totally,” Brittany said, mirroring the smile.

“So, Baby,” Tina said steering the conversation to her intended purpose, “I think I’m ready to push forward a little bit with the sexiness.”

“What do you mean?” Brittany asked with a spark of hopefulness in her eyes along with a large portion of confusion.

“I mean,” Tina said as she leaned up. She let the thought go, opting to demonstrate what she meant. She reached both hands behind her and took the loose ends of the tie in either hand. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth quickly and then pulled on the strings to untie her top. She pulled it over her head and dropped it to the floor. On instinct, she moved to cover her now bare breasts but stopped herself. The water, agitated by the jets, obscured any clear view of them anyway.

Brittany smiled mischievously, “Sexy Boo, very sexy.”

Tina’s usual instinct to deny the compliment was beaten back by the memory of the incident on the plane. Instead Tina’s right hand suddenly felt very warm and she felt herself getting turned on a little. Brittany shifted up onto her knees and reached behind her back, stopping to ask, “Do you mind if I take my suit off too?”

“Let’s stick to just tops for right now, okay Baby?”

Brittany smiled and quickly removed hers. It quickly joined Tina’s on the bathroom floor. While Tina was still keeping herself under the water line, Brittany’s now naked breasts were in full view. She locked her eyes on Tina whose eyes were pretty plainly locked on Brittany’s chest. The blonde smiled at her girlfriend’s sudden fascination. She began making a show of it. She brought two handfuls of water up out of the tub and let it cascade down over her. Then she cupped the bottoms of both breasts and moaned. She pinched her own nipples between her thumbs and forefingers and moaned louder.

“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” Tina said playfully.

Brittany ignored the question and Tina’s attempt to defuse the sexual tension in the room. “Can I see you, Tina?” she asked, “Please?” Tina didn’t answer. Instead she took another deep breath, bit her bottom lip, and reared up to her knees as well bringing herself just mere inches away from Brittany. “God, you’re so sexy, Tina.”

“I… looking at you and seeing the way you look at me, I… I feel sexy. I think your therapy session on the plane ride worked wonders. I really want to touch you right now. Can I?” Tina asked holding a hand up toward her girlfriend.

“Of course you can, Boo.”

Tina spoke again to say, “I mean, on the…”

Brittany grabbed Tina’s outstretched hand in her own. She said, “Tina, until we get around to having babies, that’s totally what boobs are for.” With that Brittany pulled Tina’s right hand up to the blonde’s left breast. She held Tina’s hand there with her own and squeezed, forcing Tina’s hand to squeeze her breast. With her right hand, Brittany pulled Tina against her. Both girls moaned loudly at the electrical sensation of the contact of their naked flesh.

Brittany leaned her head down to Tina’s. He tongue darted out and ghosted over Tina’s lips before capturing her lips in a powerful, needful kiss. Tina kissed her back every bit as hungrily and kneaded Brittany’s breast firmly. This was followed quickly by a sharp intake of breath on Brittany’s part followed by a groaning exhale. Tina broke the kiss to say, “I’m sorry, Baby. Did I hurt you?”

Brittany quickly replied, “No… well, I mean yeah a little, but it totally felt great. Don’t stop.” She resumed the kiss with a renewed fervor. Tina wrapped an arm around Brittany’s waist and rocked backwards until she was back in a seated position. Brittany allowed herself to be pulled onto Tina’s lap, straddling her thighs. Immediately, Tina could feel the warmth radiating out from Brittany even over the very warm water in the tub. They continued like this for a few minutes, until Tina switched hands. Her left hand went to Brittany’s right breast; her right went around Brittany’s back, pressing them together as tightly as possible. She then started migrating her kisses down Brittany’s neck, leaving Brittany to voice her pleasure, “Oh yeah, Tina! Fuck, Boo, that feels so good. Just like that, but squeeze harder. Harder! Oh yeah! That’s good… so good. Oh, fuck yes!”

Emboldened by the effect she was clearly having on her girlfriend, Tina continued her trail of kisses down the length of Brittany’s collarbone and then dipping lower trailing her mouth over Brittany’s chest, slowly heading for Brittany’s left breast. “Boo, don’t do anything you are… oh God… aren’t rea…” Brittany’s warning was cut off when Tina took Brittany’s very hard nipple into her mouth and sucked with great force. “Shhhhhhit!” the blonde continued, “God you feel so good, Tina. Tina. Tina. Tina.” As she chanted the name over and again, Brittany began rocking her hips back and forth against Tina’s trying to create some friction. “Oh shit, Tina. I’m so-so close. Just don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.”

Far from stopping, Tina intensified her attention to Brittany’s breasts. Tina did release her right hand from Brittany’s back, though Brittany now held herself tight against Tina. She released her grip on Brittany so that she could work her hand in between them. As Brittany rhythmically rocked back, briefly leaving a small gap between, Tina pushed her hand forward index and middle fingers extended towards Brittany. Just as Tina had predicted, Brittany rocked up against the outstretched fingers slamming her now-painfully sensitive clit against the digits. Brittany immediately stopped rocking and Tina began massaging the cluster of nerves through the material of Brittany’s bikini bottom moving her fingers in small circles. It only took a few seconds of direct stimulation before Brittany screamed several profanities with Tina’s name peppered in as she came undone. Her entire body shook in convulsion, continuing on for over an entire minute. When Brittany regained use of her motor functions, she wrapped her arms around Tina’s neck and pulled her tight against her chest. “Boo! That was so amazing. It’s never been like that with anyone before.”

Tina was floored at this comment, “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Brittany confirmed, “like it’s not even close. Oh God, T, you have like no idea how much I needed that. Thank you so super much. It’s like crazy how close I feel to you right now. I love you so, so much Tina.” Brittany pulled Tina almost crushingly tight against her.

“I love you, too, Britt,” she replied as she tried to match the strength of the hug.

“Are you okay?” Brittany asked. “We didn’t go too far for you did we. I mean, cuz it wasn’t sex exactly it was super close and I know you wanted to push your boundaries or whatever, but was it too far?”

“Baby, I am _so_ much better than okay. That was the most beautiful, erotic, sexy thing I’ve ever seen. I am completely in awe the hotness that is you. And as of right now, there’s no such thing as us going too far. I’m completely prepared for whatever comes next.”

“You want to have sexy times with me?” Brittany asked excitedly.

“Maybe not tonight, Britt, but very soon, okay?” Tina replied.

“Okay, good. Cuz I super want to make your first time totally special for you, but I’m way totally tired tonight.”

“What do you say,” Tina asked, “we ditch what’s left of our swimsuits and go crawl into that super comfy bed and have us some cuddles?”

“You always have the best ideas, Tina.”

 


	21. Spring Break, Part Two

** Wednesday **

               The wedding ceremony was scheduled for two in the afternoon. Deirdre and Susan spent the entire morning in a rush going over every last detail. Jeffery and Mary Ann did their best to help them while trying to keep them from freaking out. Brittany and Tina were no help at all. They were back inside their bubble, attached at the hips and the hands and very frequently at the mouths. The afterglow was not lost on any of the adults but they had bigger things to worry about and Tina was thankful that she was spared a horribly embarrassing conversation with the Pierces, if only for a few hours.

               By 10 o’clock, it was obvious to all that the two teens were far too lost in each other to be any help with setting things up, so they were dismissed to go enjoy the fair until one. Tina took Brittany back to the Zoo and Brittany was, as predicted, overjoyed at getting to pet the lion cubs. Afterwards, they went to the stables and rode horses for an hour. Tina was an experienced rider, and after demonstrating that she knew what she was doing was allowed to ride on her own. Brittany was new to riding and had to run through some training, but the girl’s natural affinity for animals took over and she seemed to absorb the skill very quickly.  The girls rode and laughed and had a wonderful time. When it came time to return the horses to their wranglers, Tina asked, “Baby, you’re gonna hug Bella Donna, aren’t you?”

               “Boo, she’s a beautiful horse with a beautiful name that’s been so super nice to let me ride around on her. Of course, I’m gonna give her a hug,” Brittany replied matter-of-factly.

               “Okay,” said Tina, “you have to let me cheat and get out my cell phone out so I can have a picture of that. I let you and Nala go, but you hugging Bella Dona will be a perfect companion piece to the picture of you hugging Herman the Elephant. Please, Baby?”

               “Okay, fine, but after that it goes back away. This is The Renaissance. There are no phones and no cameras.”

               “Baby, you realize that there are hundreds of people walking around here with cameras around their necks talking on their cell phones, don’t you?

               “Yeah, they’re totally breaking the rules and they won’t be having sexy times with me tonight either.”

               Tina took the implied threat. She pulled out her cell phone and turned it back on. When it was ready to go, Brittany wrapped her arms around Bella Donna’s neck and Tina took a great picture. Tina then reflexively checked her text messages. She had four, all from Rachel. The last one was tagged 911, so Tina opened it. The body of the message was very un-Rachel like. It just said, ‘Quinn’s gone into labor.’ It was tagged 10:30am, about an hour ago.

               “Boo, put your phone away, or miss out.”

               “Britt, it’s important. Quinn’s having her baby.”

               “Are they okay?” Brittany asked.

               “Can I call and find out without risking our evening?” Tina asked teasingly.

               “Duh, of course you can.”

               Tina hit the speed dial for Rachel’s number. It was answered very, very quickly by Rachel saying, “Noah?”

               “No, it’s Tina. I just got your message. I’m putting you on speaker so Brittany can hear. How’s everything?” Brittany came to stand close to the phone so she could hear.

               Rachel said, “Hold on. Mercedes, it’s Tina. Keep trying him. I’m going to get them up to date. Last update was about fifteen minutes ago, both Quinn and the baby are apparently doing well. If my understanding of the labor process is accurate, it will likely be several more hours before she’s actually ready to deliver. Most of the club is here, Artie, Matt, Santana, Mercedes, Kurt, Mr. Shue, Miss Pillsbury. Mike is at a family function that he can’t get away from. Finn isn’t here for what I can only assume are the obvious reasons.”

               “Yeah,” Tina interjected.

               “The problem is that Noah isn’t here. We’ve been calling and texting him more or less constantly. Calls go straight to voicemail so his phone is either dead or turned off. I simply cannot believe how irresponsible he is. I have already called Mrs. Puckerman and informed her of what a jerk her son is. She’s out looking for him at some of the dives he frequents. I left a message on the Fabrays’ answering machine to tell them what’s going on. I very much doubt that they care but I thought I’d give them the opportunity to do the right thing by their daughter at long last.”

               “Rachel!” Tina interjected again, “Slow down. You said Puck’s not there. Who’s in the delivery room with Quinn? Anyone?”

               Rachel was quiet for a moment after the question, “You don’t know?”

               “Rachel,” Tina said exasperatedly, “I’m 800 miles away, and no matter what Santana may have told you, I’m not a witch. I can’t read minds. How would I know?”

               “Well,” Rachel said, “it’s Amy Abrams.”

               Brittany looked at Tina confused. Tina looked back stunned, slack jawed. “Artie’s mom?” she asked incredulously.

               “Artie too, actually,” said Rachel. “He’s been giving us regular updates on her status. Apparently she’s been living with them for some time now. I take it he hasn’t told you about any of this, then?”

               “No!” Tina said firmly, “Not a word. I mean, in fairness, we really haven’t talked much since we broke up, just a little bit at Regionals and on the ride home, but still you’d think the topic of ‘pregnant ex-cheerleader roommate’ would have come up.”

               “Tina, I really need to talk to you about something. I don’t think it, strictly speaking, constitutes an actual emergency, though it is still more than what you would dub a ‘Rachel Emergency’ and it’s tangentially related to the situation at hand. Furthermore, you are already on the phone, anyway.”

               “Okay,” Tina said, “Shoot.”

               “No offense to you Brittany,” Rachel said, “but do you mind if I speak to Tina privately? I’m not sure I’m up to sharing this with more than one person at the moment. Moreover, I’d rather not have the conversation broadcast over a speakerphone.”

               “Okay, sure,” said Brittany earnestly. “Like whatever it is, it’s going to be okay. I totally love you to bits, RaeRae.”

               “Thank you, Brittany. I love you to bits as well.”

               Tina held the phone back up to her ear as she switched off the speakerphone. “Rae, give me just one second and then I promise you’ll have my undivided,” Tina said into the phone before pulling in back from her head. “Baby, you gonna go see the nice lady that braids flowers into peoples’ hair? You said you wanted to do that before the wedding.”

               “That’s a super great idea, Boo. I’ll have my phone on so you can find me when you’re done.”

               “Thanks, Baby, I love you.”

               “I love you, too,” Brittany said before pressing her lips to Tina’s in a brief, tender kiss before pulling away. Tina pulled her back for another brief kiss before letting the blonde girl go. Brittany hummed to herself as she walked away swishing her hips sexily. Tina smiled to herself at her amazing girlfriend.

Tina put the phone back to her head said, “Alright, girl. Lay it on me.”

“It’s Shelby,” Rachel said shortly.

“K, I gonna need a few more details, Rae.”

“Shelby wants to adopt Quinn’s baby. We were having breakfast this morning talking it over… all three of us… when Quinn started having contractions. Apparently they’ve talked about this over the last couple of days and Quinn suggested that because of the nature of our relationship, that is to say Quinn’s and my relationship, that Shelby adopting the baby might cause some friction in whatever relationship Shelby and I may have, so Shelby was attempting to enquire as to whether it would.”

“And if you say that it does cause friction?” Tina prompted.

“In that potentiality, Shelby says the adoption is off. She won’t so it.”

“And do you believe her?”

“Shelby’s many things,” Rachel said with conviction, “but she’s not a liar. If she says it, she means it. If I say no then she won’t adopt Quinn’s daughter.”

“Okay, you may not have the answer to this, but I’ll ask it anyway. Is this some new sudden urge? Did she just decide she wanted a baby?”

“No, she’s said she has been contemplating adoption for some time now. She was ill a while back and can’t have any more kids of her own. Since that time, she started looking into adoption then. I think her recent departure from Vocal Adrenaline just happens to make this the ideal time.”

Switching topic threads, Tina said, “Will she adopt some other baby, then?”

“What?” Rachel asked.

“You said she would let you call off this adoption. Will she let you call off any adoption or just this one because of your tense relationship with Quinn? If she’s been thinking about this for months or years or whatever, then odds are Quinn’s baby is just the most convenient, and she’ll find another. Is she giving you veto power over the baby or over the concept of her adopting?”

Rachel said nothing for a minute or so before finally responding, “I’m not sure. I didn’t think to clarify.”

“Well, then, let’s run through all the scenarios. If she is giving you full veto power over her adopting, and you say no?” Tina prompted.

“Then,” Rachel began tentatively, “I’m more-or-less obligating myself to commit to having a mother-daughter relationship with her that I’m still uncertain that I want or that I can give her in the face of her initial rejection.”

“Okay, and if she’s only giving you veto power over Quinn’s baby?”

“Then she’s set her mind to adopting and she’ll find another baby, and Quinn is left trying to find someone else to adopt her daughter.”

“And if you say yes?”

“Then she adopts her…” Rachel said trailing off.

Tina continued, “And if you do work things out with Shelby, then you potentially have a lifelong reminder of someone who has been a huge bully to you. I’ve seen pictures, Quinn looks exactly like her mother. There’s every chance the baby will look like Quinn. Also, with everything Shelby went through to get to meet you, I doubt she’s going to want to do a traditional closed adoption. Quinn would probably retain some visitation rights.”

“I hadn’t thought of all that, Tina. Thank you,” Rachel said, “Although, I must say I am now no closer and in fact am actually further from reaching a decision.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make things harder on you,” Tina demurred.

“Apologies are unnecessary as these are all things that needed to be considered. I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“There’s no rule that says you have to have an answer now. Quinn will probably be in labor for most of the day, and if it takes you a day or two after that to figure things out, then I’m sure some sort of arrangement can be made to look after the baby until then.”

“Thank you, Tina,” Rachel said, “You’re a great best friend. I just wanted to make sure you know that. How’s the vacation?”

“Thanks,” Tina replied. “It’s been pretty enjoyable. There’s a wedding this afternoon that we’re going to and a reception after that, so we’ll spend tonight here, but after that I think I’m going to see about coming home early in the morning. I think I’ve done everything I want to do here.”

“Tina, please don’t cut your vacation short on account of me.”

“It’s not that. Well, it’s not entirely that. It’s partly you and partly the baby, but mostly I just think I’m mostly over the Ren Faire. I mean, it’s been fun but most fairs are weekend events and I think I’ve figured out why. If there weren’t things going on in Lima, I might take the next couple of days to explore Boston some, but there is, so I’m gonna talk to Brittany about coming home.”

“Very well,” Rachel conceded. “Take my mind off my issues for a few minutes. You and Brittany, alone in a hotel room for three nights. Have you guys…”

Tina smiled to herself and cut in, “Little bit.”

“A little bit?” Rachel echoed questioningly.

“Well,” Tina elaborated, “we didn’t quite go all the way, but there was, how would you put it, a great deal of intimate touching.”

“Of which, I do _not_ need details except to ask how was it?” Rachel responded quickly.

“Well, I’m pretty sure people in the next rooms probably know there’s someone named Tina staying in our room.”

Rachel laughed hard at this. Tina was pretty sure Rachel had needed something to laugh at and was glad that she could provide it. “Why, Tina Cohen-Chang, you lady killer! So are you and she going to fully consummate the relationship, then?”

“Probably tonight,” Tina answered softly, “after the wedding. Speaking of which, I should probably go start getting ready for that. I’ll put my phone on vibrate so you can let us know if there are any updates with Quinn. Give Puck a kick in the ass for me when he gets there… if he gets there.”

“I shall,” Rachel said, “Enjoy you’re evening, and I suppose I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.”

“Most likely. Later, Girl.”

“Goodbye, Tina.”

Tina hung up and immediately started scrolling through her contacts until she found Brittany. She punched the button and once again the call was answered very quickly. “Hey, Boo. How’s RaeRae?”

Tina responded, “She’s okay, just got some pretty big stuff on her mind, needed someone to sound it off of. Is your hair done?”

“No, Miss Petulla‘s still working on it but it looks super awesome so far. T, would it be like okay if we went back to Lima tomorrow? The fair is super fun and all, but I want to see Q and the baby and it sounds like RaeRae really needs you. I totally promise I’ll make the rest of the time up to you somehow.”

“Baby, you are so my girl. I was just going to ask you that.”

“Seriously?” Brittany asked.

“Seriously,” Tina confirmed, “You finish getting your hair done. I’ve got a surprise planned for you for tonight I’m gonna go take care of. I’ll see you on the square for the wedding, okay?”

“Okay,” Brittany said, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"**

**A/N: This one is loooooong! I looked at trying to break it up, but there’s not really a good place, so you just get a supersized chapter full of smutty smut. I mean it’s not all smut, there’s story advancement too, but yeah, a lot of sexy times.**

**Chapter 22**

**Spring Break Part 3**

               “Britt, your flowers look amazing,” Tina said quietly during the ceremony. Brittany’s long blonde hair was braided tightly with orange, yellow, and pink wildflowers woven in. The braid was tied off with a sting of cherry blossoms. All the color looked amazing against Brittany’s green dress that was form fitting on top and loose around the waist. Brittany had called it perfect since it would feel sexy but she would still be able to dance in it.

               “Your flowers are pretty awesome too, T,” Brittany replied. After her phone call, Tina had gone over to the body art booth and gotten a fairly elaborate temporary tattoo. Hours later she showed up on the square just in time for the wedding with pink Belladonna Lilies on the left side of her face, her left wrist, and her left foot, each with green stems running down her neck, up her arm, and up her leg.

               The ceremony was extremely lovely, but the girls couldn’t wait for it to be over. Brittany knew there was reception afterwards where she would be able to dance. Tina knew that Brittany had plans for her after the reception, and after their night the previous evening, she was anxiously awaiting it. _God! I’m as bad as a teenage boy! Touch my girl in her lady parts just for a minute and suddenly I’ve got sex on the brain all day. Get a hold of yourself, Tina. Don’t turn into Puck._

               The happy couple exchanged heartfelt personal vows, exchanged rings that verged on the garish, and then invited all couples in attendance to share their first kiss. Something that Tina and Brittany needed no encouragement to do. The reception took place only about 50 feet from where the ceremony had been held at the bandstand. There was no best man or maid of honor, and neither bride had parents in attendance, so the gathered group was spared any speeches. Instead, the band kicked up and everyone started dancing.

               Brittany spent the next two hours dancing near constantly. Tina spent the two hours alternately dancing with her and watching her dance. Tina had to occasionally take breaks; Brittany didn’t. Without marks to hit or cues to listen for Brittany just got lost in the music and she was breathtaking to behold. She always loved dancing but when she was dancing just to dance, not for competition or anything, she always had the purest look of absolute joy on her face. Tina grabbed as many pictures as she could to try to remember this version of her girlfriend, and although she got some really good ones, they still failed to fully capture the sight that was Brittany Pierce doing what she was put on this Earth to do.

               Tina checked her phone to find that she had received a couple of update messages. One message time stamped 2:45 said that Puck had finally arrived, had gone into the delivery room, and had been promptly thrown right back out by a furious Quinn. The second was from 4:05 saying that they were all still waiting. Tina’s heart broke for Quinn at the thought of this, eight plus hours of what’s suppose to be the most intense pain in the world and she still had nothing to show for it, and likely several more hours to go before she would actually deliver. On top of all that, she was giving the baby away for the baby’s sake.

               After two hours the reception had started to thin out, Susan and Deirdre opted to take this time to make their exit and begin their wedding night. When Brittany came to collect Tina, she gladly accepted, nearly tripping over herself to get Brittany back to their hotel room. Disappointment nearly killed Tina when Brittany reminded her that they were supposed to go prom dress shopping after the ceremony. When Brittany took her clothes into the bathroom to change out of her dress, Tina got the bright idea to barge in and attack Brittany with kisses and touches until she forgot all about this prom dress silliness, but her plans were quickly disrupted by a locked bathroom door.

               Eventually, Tina accepted her fate of dress shopping and quickly got changed and ready to go. If she couldn’t stop the trip, then getting it done as fast as possible was a good second option she figured. For the entire fifteen minute trip to the dress shop, Tina had every intention of getting the first halfway decent looking dress that fit her and saying that it was perfect. This plan went out the door, however, when they got there and she actually started looking around at the multitude of dresses for sale. Tina’s brain managed to down shift out of sexual overdrive and pay attention to something else. Once she actually started focusing on the dresses, she began to have fun looking at all the amazing looking dresses, the likes of which they would almost certainly never find in the shops in Lima. _Not only are we sophomores going to Junior Prom but we are going to be the best dressed couple there!_

               After about forty minutes of looking, Brittany found a dress that she insisted that was perfect for Tina. Tina, looking at the strapless, form-fitting, platinum dress, was less than certain. Of course, Tina had long since lost the ability to deny her girl much of anything so she tried it on, and once she saw herself in it she immediately realized that Brittany was, of course, absolutely right. She looked amazing in the dress. “Hey, Baby,” Tina called through the dressing room door, “are we gonna have to fly back to Boston to get our dresses altered?”

               “Can’t Kurt alter like anything?” Brittany asked.

               Tina thought about that for a moment before realizing that not only _could_ Kurt alter anything, he would actually _insist_ on it. “You’re totally right, Britt, as always.” When Tina exited the dressing room, she found Brittany wearing a bold blue dress with silver beaded straps. It had a deep V neckline and was flared out just below the bust. Like the dress she wore to the wedding, it was perfect for her. It was sexy and yet there was room for her to dance around in it. It also had the added benefit of looking great with Tina’s dress. The girls were sold, and even though Tina knew she’d be in for a huge lecture from her parents about the price tag, they made their purchases and were quickly on their way back to the hotel.

               Just before they got back to their room, just outside their door, Tina reached out taking Brittany’s hand, pulling her to a stop. “Baby, I feel like I should apologize for how I was acting earlier. I think I was kinda being a jerk about…y’know. You wanted to go dress shopping at that amazing store and I was being all teenage boy about having sex, and that’s not cool. I’m sorry.”

               “It’s okay, Boo. I totally wanted to get our sexy times on earlier too, but… well, open the door.”

               Tina fished her keycard out, slid it in the lock, and opened the door. When she did, the sight inside took her breath away. On nearly every available surface there were lit candles, at least fifty that Tina could see. Rose petals of every color were strewn on the bed. On the table on the far side of the bed was a covered tray that presumably had food underneath. While Tina stood in stunned silence, Brittany pulled the remote to the sound system out of her purse and started music playing.

               “Baby!” was all Tina could think to say. She turned to look at Brittany still slack jawed, walking slowly into the room.

               “You like it?” Brittany asked smiling big. Tina was at an absolute loss for words. Twice she tried and failed to respond, the feelings in her brain and in her heart didn’t translate into words. There were no words. When it became clear that Tina couldn’t, Brittany spoke again, “It’s just that my first time wasn’t really very special, so I wanted to make extra, extra sure that yours was super special, so that like _our_ first time would be something I could be happy remembering.”

               “Brittany, Baby, you are…” Tina searched for the words, “you’re so amazing that I don’t even know what to say. Just saying ‘I love you’ seems like not enough, there should be something else I can say beyond that. I am… like in awe of how absolutely wonderful you are. If you aren’t the most amazing girlfriend ever, I don’t know who it could be. And is this Alicia Keys playing?”

               Brittany just smiled and nodded her head. Tina quickly turned her attention to the trays on the table. _If there’s jerk chicken under those covers, I’m marrying this woman._ “Baby, what’s for dinner?” Again Brittany didn’t speak, instead she took Tina’s hand in hers and guided them over to the table, pulled Tina’s chair out for her. When Tina sat, Brittany pulled the covers off the plates. The smell hit Tina first and she knew. It was indeed jerk chicken. _There it is. Let the history books show that on this day March 17 th, 2010, I was certain that I, Tina Louise Cohen-Chang, am going to marry Brittany Susan Pierce some day. Twenty-four days ago, I was certain I was 100% straight, now I know I’m going to marry a woman. What a wild ride my life has been. _Tina bolted up from her chair and flung her arms around Brittany’s neck, pressing a kiss on a slightly surprised Brittany. The blonde dropped the metal tray covers on the floor so she could wrap her arms around Tina’s waist and return the kiss. The kiss was tender and loving and Tina was sure she had never felt more peaceful or more complete than at that moment. Tina broke off and said, “Brittany, no matter what else happens tonight, you have made this night so special. I love you so much, Baby.”

               “I’m glad, and I love you, too, Boo. Now let’s eat, this smells super great.”

               “You’re so right about that, Baby. Did someone make this?”

               “Duh, of course, someone made it, Tina, but not my mom this time. She was sorta super busy getting married. This is takeout.”

               “Well, it’s delicious,” Tina said around a mouth full of food. Brittany nodded vigorously in agreement, her mouth now full as well. “Baby, how did you manage all of this?”

               A few silent moments followed as Brittany chewed quickly and swallowed before answering, “My mom, er, y’know, my step-mom, Mary Ann. She helped me make the plans while you were off getting your pretty flower tattoos. I gave her my room key and she came in while we were out dress shopping.”

               “Do they know why you were doing all this? Did you tell them that you were taking my virginity tonight?”

               “Should I not have told them?” Brittany asked a great deal of concern in her voice. She clearly wanted this night to be great for Tina and was concerned that this was something that might ruin it for her. “We just like always talk about everything in my family, including sexy stuff. Does it bother you that we do that?

               “It’s okay, Baby. It’s something I’ve just got to get use to. I don’t want you to stop talking to your family about things on account of me. It’s a part of who you are and I don’t want you to change a single thing about your amazing self. I mean, it’s kind of embarrassing, but I use to get embarrassed just talking in front of people. I got over that, I’ll get over this too.”

               The girls talked and ate, sharing sexy smiles and glances, and enjoying the music and the ambiance. Brittany had finished first, so when Tina had eaten her fill she replaced the lid over her plate. Brittany was up, out of her seat and offering her hand out to Tina in a flash. Tina accepted the hand and stood to meet her. Brittany lightly placed her hands on Tina’s hips. Tina responded by wrapping her arms around Brittany’s neck tilting her head expecting a kiss. Instead Brittany affectionately brushed her nose up the length of Tina’s eliciting a small giggle from her. Brittany then pressed their foreheads together and closed her eyes getting lost in the scent of Tina, honeysuckle and jasmine. “Tina, I love you so much. Thank you for coming with me on this trip.”

               “I love you, Brittany,” Tina responded, “and I think this trip to this place… well, it was the perfect place for us, because it’s kind of a perfect metaphor for our relationship.” Tina knew this would need elaboration. “It’s something that before you suggested it, I had never even considered doing, but then it turned out to be magical and I had so much fun doing it that I can’t even imagine what life would be like if I had said no.”

               Brittany smiled brightly at this, “When you say totally sweet things to me like that, my heart starts beating all super fast. I think we coulda found something fun to do on Spring Break without the fair, though.”

               “Without doubt, Baby. You make everything fun, but if we hadn’t come here we wouldn’t have had that conversation on the plane ride, we wouldn’t have had last night in the Jacuzzi, this beautiful, amazing night wouldn’t be happening, and I wouldn’t be about to give you everything,” Tina said moving to kiss Brittany’s neck.

               This elicited a small moan from Brittany, “You don’t have to. You know that right? Like I won’t be mad or anything if you need to stop, maybe a little sad, totally not mad, okay? I just need to know that this is something that you like really, really want, okay?”

               Breaking off her sensual assault on her girlfriends’ neck, Tina raised her mouth to Brittany’s ear and in a breathy whisper said, “More than anything, Baby. More than just want, I need this. If you don’t make love to me tonight… very soon tonight… I think my head might explode.”

               A small moan escaped Brittany’s lips and she said, “Well…” She kissed Tina’s neck just above the shoulder. “…we wouldn’t want that. I mean, I super love your head the way it is. I mean, it’s got your sexy brain in it.” Brittany smiled and went back to kissing Tina, on the mouth this time. This kiss was passionate and full of need and desire; tongues were intertwined, struggling to make the other moan deeper and louder. The girls fell over backwards onto the bed, Tina falling roughly on Brittany but neither girl cared. Brittany quickly reversed their positions, rolling them over on the bed. Tina quickly dispensed with her shoes and wrapped her legs around Brittany’s waist, hooking her ankles together, and driving her throbbing and increasingly wet center against her girlfriend’s hips and stomach. Brittany could feel the heat even through the layers of clothes. She broke the kiss long enough to say, “Damn, Boo.”

               “Told you,” said Tina pressing her lips back to Brittany’s. She reached for the hem of Brittany’s shirt pulling it up and raking her fingertips upwards over the taught muscles underneath up to lightly brush over Brittany bra covered breasts. Tina tugged firmly on the shirt and between kisses said, “Off! Off!” Brittany raised her arms and broke away for just long enough for Tina to yank the shirt off the blonde girl, knocking flower pedals from Brittany’s hair decorations. As soon as the shirt was gone, Tina reached for Brittany’s bra and the undergarment was quickly tossed aside as well. Tina’s hands shot to Brittany’s small, firm, perfect breasts and attached themselves there, kneading firmly.

               The electric sensation that coursed through Brittany’s body made her head rock back away from Tina’s for a deep, throaty moan to come. Tina, not missing a beat, attached her suddenly unoccupied mouth to Brittany’s right nipple causing Brittany to inhale sharply and moan out, “Oh shit, Tina! God you’re so good at making me all wet, but we’re both still wearing like way to many clothes.”

               “It’s a problem,” Tina agreed, not so much taking her mouth off of Brittany’s now very hard nipple as just talking around it. After another minute or so of Tina’s dedicated attention to Brittany’s breast and Brittany’s accompanying sounds of pleasure, Tina detached herself from Brittany and both girls stood to quickly begin removing articles of clothing. When Brittany shed her Capri’s and panties at once, Tina couldn’t resist the urge to caress her firm, muscular ass ending with a firm squeeze.

               “I’m supposed to be the one getting you all super worked up, Boo. Tonight’s about you, remember?”

               “Baby, I’ve been worked up all day long. The image of you coming for me in the hot tub last night has been on perpetual replay in my head since it happened. You are the sexiest thing ever.”

               “Nuh uh,” Brittany replied, “You are.” She lightly caressed the green stems of Tina’s tattoo up her outer thigh coming to rest on one of the formerly hidden blooms on her stomach just below her left breast. In total, there were eight Belladonna Lilies on Tina’s body: her left cheek, her left shoulder, her left elbow, her left wrist, her stomach, her hip just above the curve of her ass, her left knee, and her left foot, and they were all connected by a leafy green stem. “I’m kinda super jelly that someone else got to see you naked to put this on you.”

               “They didn’t,” Tina said, enjoying her girlfriend’s caresses, “Not completely anyway. It wasn’t always easy, but I kept all the good parts covered. They’re just for you, Baby.” Tina moaned again as Brittany’s hand moved from flower to breast and squeezed hard causing Tina’s head to lilt to the right and Brittany quickly assaulted the inviting neck with her lips and tongue. This elicited an even bigger moan, “Oh, Brittany. Damn you’re good, Baby.” This continued for a few more minutes before finally Tina said, “Shit, Brittany! It’s time. I’ve got to feel you inside me before I just burst.”

               Brittany stopped, “Inside you? Are you for sure? I could just eat you for like hours and give you like ninety orgasms.”

               Tina dragged one of Brittany’s hands down to her pulsating core, pushing her middle finger into the drenched folds, “Yeah, that sounds amazing. I’ll totally take ninety orgasms, but at least one of those is going to happen with you inside me. I want to give you everything, Brittany.”

               “I just want tonight to be super special for you, for us, and I don’t want to like ruin it by hurting you or anything,” Brittany said in ragged breaths running one and then a second finger up a down Tina’s length.

                “Tonight is so far beyond special, Brittany. It’s like something out of a dream. Nothing can ruin this. I know it’s going to hurt for a little bit, but it’s going to hurt no matter when we do it, so I would rather it be here and now. Right now,” Tina said as tears welled up and started rolling down her cheek, “with you, like this, I feel so loved and so safe, like I’ve never felt before. I know you’ll take care of me and be gentle with me while I need it. I want this, Brittany. I want this so much. Please?”

               There were tears in Brittany’s eyes as well. She just nodded at Tina and said, “Lay down.” Tina lay on her back and Brittany laid on her side to Tina’s right. Brittany snaked her left arm behind Tina’s neck, kissing her deeply. Brittany’s right hand glided down Tina’s stomach to her searing hot sex. Brittany pressed two fingers against her clit and started rubbing in small circles.

               Tina squirmed at the sensation but growled out, “Inside, Brittany.”

               “Just trust me,” Brittany continued her stroking, planting a quick kiss on Tina’s cheekbone.

               Tina moaned steadily at the attention to bundle of nerves, managing to squeak out, “I do… just anxious.”

               “Don’t be anxious, Tina. I’ve totally got you.” Only a couple more minutes’ attention and Brittany could feel Tina building towards climax. “Are you almost there?” Tina nodded, eyes pinched shut, huge smile on her face. “Can you look at me?” Tina nodded again but didn’t comply with the request. Brittany shifted slightly and bit at Tina’s nipple. This got her attention. “Look at me, Tina. You’re gonna come soon. When you do I need you to say my name so I know when it’s hitting, that’s when I’m gonna do it. I want you to focus on your orgasm and forget the pain, k?” Tina’s breathing was too ragged to answer but she nodded vigorously to indicate that she was paying attention. Brittany licked the nipple she’d bitten, and then began flicking her tongue across it.

               Mere moments later, Tina called out, “Omigod, Brittany!” Her body convulsed under Brittany’s touches and then went rigid as Tina lifted her hips off the bed trying to increase physical contact.

               When Tina’s body relaxed, Brittany rubbed her clit a couple more times while leaning in next to her head to whisper, “Think about your orgasm. Focus on all that pleasure that just rocked through you, try to forget this.” She plunged one finger into Tina and stopped.

               Tina winced in pain and small, “Shit!” escaped her lips.

               Brittany was perfectly still for a minute then she began slowly but steadily working in and out of her girlfriend. As she did this she whispered into Tina’s ear, “Focus on the sound of my voice. Don’t pay any attention to anything but my voice. You’re alright. I’m right here with you. I’ve got you. I love you so much. You’re so beautiful. You feel so good on my hand. You’re alright. Focus right here, Tina. I love you, Boo.”

               After a couple minutes, Tina’s winces of pain began to be replaced by moans of pleasure. Another minute and the moans outnumbered the winces. Another two and the winces were gone, and Tina was bucking her hips to gain more contact once again. “More. Faster,” Tina demanded as she pulled Brittany’s face to hers, kissing her deeply. Brittany complied, first inserting a second finger and then steadily quickening her pace and brushing her thumb across Tina’s clit, working up a rhythm. She shifted herself onto her knees and relocated her mouth down to Tina’s neck peppering it with kisses and licks and occasionally small bites.

               Tina opened her eyes to see where Brittany had gone missing the physical closeness. When she saw what had become of Brittany, she raised her right hand into contact with Brittany’s swollen, sensitive clit and started swirling the cluster, a very loud moan from Brittany followed. “I’m really close again, Brittany. I want you to come with me this time.”

               “I’m super close, T. Just like another minute. Harder. Faster!” Tina sped up, so Brittany sped up, which caused to Tina speed up again, and within two minutes both girls came completely undone screaming each other’s names and collapsing together in a heap, holding each other close.

              A few minutes later Brittany heard Tina sniffle slightly. She propped herself up on one elbow and saw once again tears running down Tina’s cheeks. “Are you okay, Boo? I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?”

             Tina turned to look her square in the eyes. “No, Baby, you did everything right. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect first time. I love you so much.”

             Brittany smiled a thousand watt smile and said, “I super love you!” She leaned in and brushed her nose against Tina’s and then kissed the tip of it before flopping back over onto the bed. When she did, she noticed Tina’s phone. “You’re phone’s blinking, T.”

             “Whatever it is can wait.”

             “It could be about Quinn or the baby. It could be important.”

             Tina’s desire to not move was defeated by cold, hard logic so she got up to get the phone and her ability to walk was nearly defeated by the aching between her legs. She grabbed the phone and dove back into bed, kicking up flower pedals in so doing. Tina scanned the messages and reported, “Looks like Quinn finally had the baby about 25 minutes ago. The baby’s fine. Quinn’s a little anemic.”

            “What’s that mean?” Brittany said, suddenly very concerned.

            “It just means her blood pressure is a little low. They’re gonna keep her in the hospital for a day or so to make sure she’s okay. They’ll give her some medicine to fix it and transfuse her if they think she needs it. It’s something that happens to a lot of girls who just gave birth, nothing to be concerned about.”

           “Are you for sure, for sure?”

           “Yep, see,” Tina said holding the phone so Brittany could see. “It’s all right there in these four text messages from Rachel.”

           Brittany smiled in relief and said, “And RaeRae totally knows because she knows like everything and even if she didn’t she’d pester the doctor about it until she did know.”

          “She totally would,” Tina smiled, mentally picturing Rachel doing just that. She sat the phone on the bedside table, offered Brittany a hand and said, “Now come on. There’s a shower built for two in here that’s begging to be used and I still owe you an orgasm.”

          Brittany’s thousand watt smile reappeared as she did a little happy dance and said, “Sexy Shower Time!”


	23. Babies and Mommas and Drama

               All morning they spent packing, the whole way to the airport, the entire plane ride back to Toledo, and the entire car ride back to Lima Tina was wishing for just one thing today. She wished that Santana wouldn’t be at the hospital when they got there because she knew that Santana would see right away that Tina was walking funny, and that would give her all the ammunition she needed to tease Tina relentlessly for weeks to come.

               They dropped Brittany’s things at Jeffery and Mary Ann’s house and left quickly since Brittany’s parents were still in Boston. They took Tina’s things to her house where they stopped and had a short conversation with Naomi about how the trip was and why they cut their trip short. Tina changed into some of her Goth gear, and they were back on the road. They hit the drive-thru to grab some lunch and were at the hospital a little after one.

               Armed with information that Rachel had sent them at an insane hour this morning, they found their way up to the maternity floor and were in search of Quinn’s room when they walked by the nursery where they found a sight that stopped them both dead in their tracks: Puck was inside, holding (presumably) his daughter and making silly faces at her. Both girls stared at the sight for several minutes before Puck glanced up and took notice of them. The self-proclaimed badass looked slightly embarrassed for a minute but then just went back to what he was doing.

               “Thank God you’re here!” came a voice from behind them. They turned just in time to be bound in a hug by Rachel. “Thank God! It’s Santana…”

               “She’s here?” Tina asked.

               “Yes, and she’s being positively infuriating. I… I don’t…. I genuinely have no idea what to do with her at this point. She’s…”

               “Ooooh, I am so super pissed at her,” Brittany interrupted. “She totally promised me she wouldn’t be mean.”

               “Relax, Brittany,” Rachel responded, “She’s not being mean. I could deal with her if she was being mean. That wouldn’t be a problem; that’s what I’m use to from her. That’s exactly the problem, in fact. She’s being nice and helpful, or at the very least what likely passes for nice and helpful in her world.”

               “Santana being nice or trying to be nice is a problem?” Tina asked.

               “It is when I am endeavoring to serve as needed to assist the Abrams family in taking care of Quinn. I find that I cannot focus on their needs when I am constantly in my own head questioning Santana’s motives.”

               “Okay, Rachel, slow down,” Tina said bracing the brunette’s shoulders with her hands. Tina could see immediately how thoroughly exhausted Rachel appeared to be. “Have you been awake all night?”

               “I… yes,” she responded, her lack of sleep rapidly catching up to her very obviously. “Also, this hospital is almost entirely vegan un-friendly outside of their breakfast selections, so I have subsisted almost exclusively on terrible salads and bad coffee.”

               “Ooookay, Superstar. Just relax,” Tina said shifting position to wrap her arm around Rachel’s shoulder. Then looking up at her girlfriend she said, “Britt, can you take Rachel home and put her to bed.”

               “Sure,” she responded.

               Rachel began to protest, “But…”

               “I will stay here and look after the Abrams and Quinn and I promise to try to figure out why Santana has been killing you with kindness, okay? Go home, sleep, eat some decent food, shower, change and be back here no sooner than seven o’clock tonight,” Tina instructed.

               “Seven o’clock…”

               “…is less than six hours from now. If you were up at your standard 6am yesterday, that means you’ve being going for 31 hours now with little or no sleep. Insisting that you get four or five hours of sleep isn’t unreasonable. I could insist that you not come back at all tonight.”

               Rachel stamped her foot and huffed, but then relaxed somewhat. “Very well, I concede to your terms. I shall see you promptly at seven. Brittany,” she said turning on a heel to storm over to the elevator.

               “Baby, if her neither of her dads is home, stay with her. Make sure she gets some sleep.”

               “Can I be a cuddle monster?” she asked excitedly.

               “You can totally be a cuddle monster if that’s what it takes to keep her in bed.”

               “Love you, Boo,” Brittany said giving Tina a quick kiss on the lips.

               “Love you, Baby,” Tina said giving Brittany another.

               Brittany went to catch up with Rachel at the elevator. Tina quickly pulled out her camera and took a picture of Puck and the baby and went off in search of Quinn’s room. The hallways on this floor were actually a huge loop, and Tina wound up walking nearly all the way around it before finding the correct room. The door was ajar, so Tina knocked gently while walking in. Inside she found Quinn in deep sleep and Artie and Amy Abrams dozing lightly. Her knocking seemed to bring Mrs. Abrams around. “Tina, sweetie, how are you? It’s great to see you again,” she said.

               “It’s great to see you Mrs. Ab…um, Amy. How’s everyone doing?” Tina asked remembering that the mother of three (or rather four, now since she was taking care of Quinn) preferred to be called by her first name.

               “Quinn’s doing well. Her blood pressure is back up, no sign of her bleeding. The baby has a clean bill of health. She’s been eating well.”

               “I saw Puck in the nursery with her. She looks just like Quinn.”

               “All except for the eyes, she has her dad’s eyes.”

               “So how are you guys? You and Artie? Have you guys been here all night and all day too?”

               “Um, yeah,” Amy huffed out, weariness evident in her voice, “although we got some sleep unlike your friend Rachel.”

               “Yeah, I just sent her home, or rather had my girlfriend take her home to force her to sleep and eat some decent food.”

               “I’m sorry, honey, ‘girlfriend’?”

               Tina smiled and shook her head slightly saying, “You know, Amy, no offense, but your son is just god awful at, I dunno, telling people stuff. Half the Glee Club has been worried for weeks that Quinn was living in her car when she’s perfectly safe and sound with you guys, and then this. Yes, I’m dating a girl, Brittany Pierce. I assume you were at Regionals?” Amy nodded. “The girl I sang and danced with.”

               “Well, if she makes you happy, then I’m happy for you. Would you mind staying here with them while I go down to cafeteria? I’m famished. I barely ate yesterday.”

               “Actually, Amy,” Tina said, “I’d be happy to stay here for a while if you wanted to take Artie home and get some _real_ food. I’m sure if you’ve been here for 30-plus hours too, then you probably want a shower by now.”

               “Oh my God, Tina, you are an angel!” Amy said, clearly loving the idea, “Are you sure you don’t mind? It’ll probably be a few hours instead of just a few minutes.”

               “It’s fine. I’ve got my Kindle and my iPod to keep me company and Santana’s supposed to be around here somewhere. I’ll be fine.”

               “Okay,” Amy said walking over to Artie’s chair, “if Quinn wakes up before we get back tell her we’ll be back soon. Art should be up here after work. He may get here before us. He’ll have Alexis with him, I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you again. She hasn’t stopped asking when you were coming over again. You should bring Brittany over for dinner some night. We’d love to have you.”

               “I don’t know if that’s the best idea, I mean, I did sort of break up with Artie to start seeing Brittany. Parading my new girlfriend around in front of my ex-boyfriend seems sort of excessively cruel.”

               “Someone sure thinks highly of themselves,” came Artie’s groggy voice, starling both women. He smiled as he put his glasses on. “But seriously, Tina, you should come and bring Brittany. We’ve been friends for thirteen years; we went out for a little over a month. We shouldn’t let my butt-headedness ruin that.”

               “Thanks, Artie,” Tina said, “I’ll talk to Brittany about it, but I’m sure she’ll be up for it.”

               Presently there was another gentle knock at the door to Quinn’s room as Santana appeared carrying a tray of coffee cups. “The coffee fairy is here with the least crappy coffee in the whole hospital. Hey, Tina, nice flower. Where’s Berry?” Santana asked as she offered the tray first to Amy and then to Artie who both took a cup and sugar and creamer packets to their taste.

               “I packed her off home for sleep and a good meal,” Tina said as she also accepted a cup of coffee, snagging three creamers “Brittany’s taking her now. The Abrams clan was about to head up for food and showers as well. You can, too, if you need.”

               “No, I’m good. I went home last night, came back this morning,” Santana said taking the last coffee and much sugar for herself, depositing the tray on a nearby table. “Two points to you for getting the midget to take some personal time, T.”

               “Tina, we’re gonna take off now,” said Amy gathering her purse.

               “Call us if Quinn needs anything,” Artie put in.

               “Will do,” she responded as mother and son exited the room. Tina moved to sit in a chair to Quinn’s right forgetting why she previously desired to avoid Santana today until she got there. She turned and sat in the chair to find Santana standing exactly where Tina left her with an enormous shit-eating grin plastered on her face.

               “Rough night?” she asked barely managing to keep her laughter in check so as not to wake Quinn.

               “No,” Tina said, “Great night. Rough morning after.”

               “Yeah, well, get use to it. She made me limp like that many times.”

               Tina’s eyes went wide. “You mean it’s not just because it was the first…”

               “Sorry to say, you have a long road of pain in your lady parts ahead of you. Back before Sectionals, I spent one day limping so bad that Coach sent to me to a massage therapist… and speaking of Coach, how’d you like meeting Aunt Susan?”

               “So you know?”

               “Bitch, I been best friends with Britts since grade school, I knew ‘Aunt Susan’ years before I ever met ‘Coach Sylvester’s’ scary ass.”

               “Who else knows?”

               “Sides you and me? I think just Juno here,” Santana said pointing a thumb at the still sleeping Quinn.

               “So I guess your recent trend of being nice only extends as far as Rachel then?” Tina asked.

               “I gotta be nice to Tu… to Quinn, too? Alright, you know what; you’re really fucking testing me here. I was okay being nice to you because you were kind of always a little okay anyways. You didn’t bug the shit out of me like Wheezy and Berry, and then you started hanging with Britts and she brought you out of your shell and now you’re halfway cool. Being nice to Berry I could deal with because she kinda bailed me out of a tough situation, so I put up with her verbal diarrhea. Now you’re telling me I have to be nice the Quinn? I’m telling you, this girl band shit really isn’t something I really have to do for my life to feel complete.”

               “Girl band? What are you…? Oh yeah!” Tina said going from confused to realization very quickly, “San, I’ll be honest with you, I had forgotten all about that. That’s not to say we can’t still do it.”

               “WHAT? You mean all this shit was for nothing!? I’ve been putting up with all of your bullshit attitude and Berry’s blabber mouth for…”

               “What’s with all the yelling?” came the groggy voice of Quinn. “Tina?”

               “Yeah, I’m here,” she responded. “I’m sorry we woke you.”

               “Am I on drugs or do you have a flower tattooed on your face?” Quinn asked.

               “The flower is there,” Tina answered, “but somehow I suspect the correct answer is ‘both.’ Do you need anything? Amy and Artie went to get a shower and eat something not from the cafeteria. Is there anything I can get you?”

               “My abs, I lost them about five months ago. If you see them lying around anywhere…” Quinn trailed off. Tina smiled slightly. Quinn continued, “Beyond that, I’d kill for a good cheeseburger. ‘Not from the cafeteria’ as you say. And maybe talk to a doctor, so they can tell me how I’m doing, when I can leave, all that.”

               “I’ll go scare you up a doctor,” Santana volunteered and departed rather abruptly.

               “That was weird,” Quinn commented staring after her.

               “That would seem to be the sentiment of the day with regards to Santana.”

               “Rachel talked to you since yesterday?” Quinn said changing topics abruptly.

               Tina looked back to Quinn, “About Shelby adopting the baby? Yeah, we talked about it a bit. I was going to segue way into this a little more gently but since you brought it up, what are your thoughts about the situation?”

               “My thoughts are that Shelby is the only really good prospect I have to adopt the baby, she’s rich, she’s settled, no major medical problems that might leave my daughter an orphan, her pathological need to be the best at everything will benefit the baby. I know there are other considerations for Rachel, but I really need her agree to this. I know she owes me less than nothing at this point, but I’d do anything. Shelby’s determined to adopt and pretty soon, so she’s going to get a baby, I’d really rather it was mine.”

               “Okay,” Tina butted in, “that was one of my questions. Rachel said she had veto power over your baby but wasn’t sure if she had veto power over all babies…” Tina trailed off as Quinn shook her head pretty certainly. “You think she’s determined to adopt?”

               “I know she is,” Quinn corrected. “She’s said in no uncertain terms that’s what she wants. I think at most, at absolute most, if Rachel were to fully commit to being Shelby’s daughter and she _really_ had a problem with her adopting any child, not just mine, then Shelby would put off adopting until Rachel left for college, but even that I don’t think is really likely.”

               Tina contemplated this for a couple of minutes before she said, “Well, that simplifies the decision in my mind. Now I just have to figure out how to convince Rachel.”

               “Well,” Quinn said, “if it helps you at all, tell her I said that I’d do anything to make this happen. I’ll polish all her Mary Janes, I’ll walk with her to every class so I can dive in front of slushies from now until graduation, I’ll forsake any sort of visitation rights Shelby may give me… whatever it takes, Tina.”

               Tina put a hand on Quinn’s shoulder and said, “It won’t come to that, Quinn, the visitations that is. She may take you up on Human Slushie Shield.”


	24. Girls' Night

               When Art Abrams arrived with his youngest child, seven year old Alexis, as predicted, the girl’s attention was entirely focused on Tina regaling her with stories of seemingly everything that had happened to her over the last month since she had seen Tina last. When the little chatterbox had talked almost non-stop for five minutes, Tina escorted her out into the waiting area so that Alexis could continue her narrative without disturbing Quinn and Art who were going over things with the doctors. Tina already knew most everything they were going to say. Quinn was fine, the baby was fine, they were going to back Quinn off the painkillers to see how she was feeling and if she was ready to go home. If she was okay, they would discharge her as early as tomorrow, assuming they knew what they were going to do with the baby.

               Strangely enough, listening to Alexis talk Tina had picked up most of the story of how Quinn had come to live with the Abrams Family. She had given Artie a ride home from school one day when Amy was running late. Artie being Artie invited her in, Quinn being thankful to have any excuse to not go back to the Puckerman house had accepted. She wound up accepting Amy’s invitation to stay for dinner and having had a particularly hard day Quinn fell asleep almost immediately after. Subsequently, she’d woken up extremely early the next morning. This left her ample time to have a long talk with Art who was naturally an early riser. Art could tell through the course of the conversation that Quinn was miserable at Puck’s house so without a second thought, he offered Quinn their spare bedroom and Quinn had gladly accepted.

               When Amy and Artie returned, Tina decided to clear out to avoid overwhelming the still recovering Quinn. Alexis wanted to go with Tina, of course, and even the promise of coming over for dinner soon didn’t do much to dissuade her of the idea. Eventually Tina caved and, with Art and Amy’s permission, took Alexis for ice cream. Of course, Tina wouldn’t dream of going for ice cream without inviting Brittany who actually squealed with delight at the proposed idea.

               As soon as Alexis met Brittany, Tina’s status as “favorite person in the world” was quickly transferred to her girlfriend. The two quickly set about abusing the ice cream shop’s free sample policy, trying ten different flavors each before they finally ordered. The three girls enjoyed their ice cream with several rounds of raucous laughter. As with every time, Brittany managed to make a mess of herself. Tina would almost swear she was _trying_ to make a huge mess, as though desert wasn’t complete until it was in her hair.

               Once Alexis was good and sugared up and wound up from laughing and playing and having fun with her new best friends, they returned her to Art and Amy. Alexis made them pinky swear that they would come over for dinner this weekend, and after checking that it was okay with the elder Abrams they agreed to come for dinner Sunday night.

               They were on their way back to Brittany’s house to enjoy some sexy times when they drove past Tektronic. It was a little after four in the afternoon, so the place was still closed, but the marquee was plastered with posters announcing the presence of DJ Rapid Fire tonight.

“Boo,” Brittany said.

“I saw it. We need to go dancing tonight… with Rachel.” Tina responded.

“And Santana.”

“Santana?”

“Totally, she has a fake ID, so she can get us a drink so that RaeRae can loosen up and have fun and maybe we can find a way to hook her up with Matty. Just one drink, I promise, for us, I mean, and also for Rachel. San might have like way more, but that’ll be okay cuz we can drive her home, unless she hooks up, then she can totally get her own ride.”

“You want to ask her?”

“Totally, I’ll do it right now.”

**To San: Hey San, 2nite we b clubbin’**

**From San: Fuck rite we r!**

“Done,” Brittany said moments later.

Rachel took considerably more convincing. Considerably more meaning a couple of hours of explaining that they wouldn’t be breaking any laws since the owner of the club had personally invited them (or Brittany, at least) to show up whenever they liked. They wouldn’t be getting drunk just having one drink to loosen up and have fun. They’d all be there to look out for one another to make sure no one got molested or abducted. It was a Thursday night so it wasn’t even likely to be all that crowded, even if it was Spring Break. No, she most certainly was not wearing an owl sweater, nor any other sweater, nor likely any of the rest of her clothes. Quinn was fine. She had the entire Abrams Family watching out for her, not to mention the doctors and nurses.

The girls finally decided to get ready at Brittany’s house. Rachel wound up borrowing a gray, loose neck t-shirt bearing the likeness of Nelly from Brittany. The disparity of the girls’ sizes caused the shirt to be extremely loose in the neck and long enough to also function as a skirt, so she wore a red cami underneath, a loose belt around her waist, and a pair of Capri-length black tights with some strappy black heels. Brittany and Tina had insisted that Rachel let her hair air dry to keep her natural wave. Brittany did her make-up and gave her a smoky look.

Santana arrived at Brittany’s soon after they had finished getting Rachel ready. “Damn Berry! You look like you’re ready to cuss out a principal.” Brittany and Tina were confused but Rachel laughed hard at their shared joke.

Santana had come dressed to kill, skin tight, white, strapless dress that just barely covered her shapely ass, with four inch heels. Rachel said, “Thank you, Santana. You look exceptionally beautiful as well.”

“Well, now I feel underdressed,” said Tina. She had gone simple for the evening, black jeans, black combat boots, and a retro Michael Jackson Thriller t-shirt. Next to Santana, Rachel, and Brittany in her bright yellow dress, she felt positively plain.

“Shit, whatever, T. You already gots your girl, you ain’t got a damn thing to prove to nobody,” Santana said.

“And I think you look great, Boo,” Brittany said placing a chaste kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.

“Thank you, Baby, and you look like a ray of sunshine.”

“Aww, you say the sweetest things to me.” They kissed once more.

“Okay, fucking gags me with all this sweet shit. Santana’s ready to get her drink on, her dance on and she’s ready to see this DJ. Let’s get this shit show on the road, bitches!” With that, the girls quickly made their way outside to Santana’s Black Sequoia. Brittany and Tina claimed the back seat and were quickly attached at the mouth once again. “Bitches, you’re not allowed to fuck each other in my truck, unless you’re fucking me too,” Santana chastened from the driver’s seat.

Tina broke off from the lip lock. “Okay, Baby, let’s be good. We’re clearly making Santana jealous.”

Brittany rested her forehead against Tina’s temple wrapping her arms around Tina’s waist. “Are you jelly, San?” she asked teasingly.

“Shit, whatever!” the Latina spat in response.

“Though I may be somewhat new to the language,” Rachel began, “I am reasonably certain that was Santana-speak for ‘Yes.’”

Everyone but Santana laughed at joke. Santana shot back, “You bitches yuck it up but remember who’s driving this whip. Keep fucking with me and we’ll have a drive through Lima Heights Adjacent and I’ll kick all you skinny bitches out, and you can see how things work out for you.”

“Be nice, San,” Brittany said. Casually, randomly flipping topics, she continued, “RaeRae, you really hot tonight. We’re totally gonna have a rockin’ good time.”

Rachel smiled at the compliment and said, “Thank you, Brittany. Due to yours and Tina’s tireless efforts, I believe that I actually feel hot tonight, which is something of a new experience for me.”

“Oh!” Tina jumped it, “Speaking of looking hot, you’ve got to see the blisteringly hot prom dresses we picked up in Boston.”

“You _so_ do,” Brittany confirmed. “We’re totally gonna be the sexiest couple at prom.”

“You’re going to prom?” Rachel asked. Brittany and Tina just nodded. “This year?” Rachel clarified.

“Yeah,” Tina answered. “Apparently, Brittany and Santana are allowed to go to prom as sophomores due to their positions as Cheerios, and… well, I get to ride Brittany’s coat tails.”

“Boo, don’t be silly, we’ll totally take a car. You don’t have to ride a coat.”

“Just an expression, Baby.”

“Yeah, hey, listen Tina,” Santana said, “you seem to misunderstand the particulars of the situation. It’s not that me and Britts are ‘allowed’ to go because we’re Cheerios, so much as a ‘we’re Cheerios, who’s going to stop us?’ kind of situation.”

“Oh, you’re crashing prom?” Tina asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” Santana responded.

Tina’s face was suddenly flooded by fear and uncertainty. This was decidedly disconcerting to her. Brittany quickly cupped Tina’s face in her hands and said, “It’ll be okay, Boo. Me and San went to prom last year and no one said anything to us.”

“But, Baby, I’m not a Cheerio. I don’t have that buffer to keep me from getting into trouble.”

“She’s right, B,” Santana said. “That’s why I warned her now. I mean, I think technically it counts as trespassing. This is a bigger deal for her, than it is for us. T, if you don’t want to go, I promise to take care of our Britts.”

_It’s pretty cool of Santana to be so understanding about this… Wait, Santana? Understanding? **What** is going on with her? She’s now actively trying to talk me **out** of doing something that Brittany has her heart set on. She should be kicking my ass into doing it like she always does. Does…does she not want me to go to prom? Is she…planning something? You know, what, screw you self-doubt, I’d march through Hell for Brittany. Time for a little Santina time._

“Eh, fuck it!” Tina said, “I already bought the dress, already heard the lecture about spending too much money on the dress. Might as well enjoy the night and make my Baby happy. If I actually get arrested for sneaking into prom, I’m pretty sure my mom knows a lawyer or twenty.”

“Yay! Thank you, Boo!” Brittany grabbed Tina into a Brittany-hug. “I totally promise I won’t let you get arrested. We’ll just tell them I said you could and I’ll just like totally play dumb and act like I thought we had special permission for being Cheerios. Who wouldn’t believe that?”

“I’m going with you,” Rachel said matter-of-factly.

“What?” Santana asked in disbelief.

“I’m going with you to prom,” she clarified.

“And why would I agree to take you to prom?” Santana questioned.

“Because if you do not, then I might happen to mention to the school board that a certain Latina Cheerio is planning on attending despite her ineligibility.”

Santana tried her best to look annoyed at Rachel but after only a minute her expression broke into laughter. “Midget can play Hardball. News at 11. Fine, okay. Fuck it! You can be my fucking date or whatever to prom, but listen here, if I’m taking Frodo to prom, you bitches,” Santana pointed at Brittany and Tina, “are for sure doing TLC with me at the Spring Showcase. I mean costumes and damn everything and I call dibs on being T-Boz.”

“That sounds like an amazing plan,” Rachel said.

“Good,” Santana responded, “because your tiny ass is responsible for making sure Schuester gives us a spot in the show. Ya dig?”

“Indeed,” Rachel answered.

The girls arrived at Tektronic about twenty minutes before DJ Rapid Fire was supposed to begin his set. The four girls quickly laid claim to one of the tall high seated tables. Santana made for the bar almost immediately. Rachel quickly spoke up saying, “Brittany, I wonder if you would mind if I borrowed Tina for a few minutes of best friend time?”

“Oh totally, I’ll like go with San to the bar,” the blonde responded. “Love you, Boo.”

“Love you, Baby.” When Brittany had departed, Tina turned her attention to Rachel.

“The doctors want to discharge Quinn in the morning. I need to make a decision on the Shelby-Beth issue tonight and if I am to start imbibing alcohol, I really should make the decision now whilst I am still in full control of my faculties.”

“Yeah, I talked to Quinn a bit today and she says that she is certain that Shelby is going to adopt a baby and probably pretty soon. I’d say the only say so you have is in whether or not it’s Beth. So…”

“So,” Rachel echoed.

“Quinn also said that she’d do whatever she could to make you be okay with this adoption. She volunteered to serve as a Human Slushie Shield for you from now until graduation.” Both girls laughed at this. Tina continued, “But seriously, she’s willing to forsake any contact with Beth if it means you agreeing to this adoption. She seems to legitimately respect your feelings on this issue. That would tend to imply that she’s grown emotionally from the whole ordeal.”

“Yes, I should say so,” Rachel agreed. “Also I must say, now that the realization that Shelby is set on adopting a child, I find myself far less concerned that Beth is Quinn’s daughter and much more with a lingering ‘is my mother trying to replace me?’ line of thought.”

“She’s not trying to replace you. She wants you in her life. She just happens to also want another child in her life. You will be going off to college in New York and all that in just over two years, then you’ll be right back out of her life, for the most part. She wants there to be something… some _one_ else there with her.” Rachel looked as though she was contemplating that. Tina continued, “I can’t believe of all things, I’m sticking up for your mother, but she knows she screwed up with you. I saw that much at Regionals. She knows you may never forgive her for that. Her career is effectively over.” Tina could see that this line of reasoning wasn’t really getting anywhere. “Okay, how about this? Beth will be your little sister and in a few years when you’re a huge Broadway star, she will completely idolize you and she’ll pester Shelby into taking her to all of your shows, and then you’ll get to flaunt all your success in front of the mother who rejected you and a miniature version Quinn, the girl who tortured you for years.”

Rachel smiled a little and said, “While I generally dislike revenge, I must say that thought is more than a little appealing, but I must ask why you are pushing for this?”

“Because, honey,” Tina said reaching across the table and placing a hand on Rachel’s forearm, “I pretty sure that eventually you _are_ going to forgive Shelby because you forgive everyone, I mean look at who you’re going to prom with,” both girls smiled at this, “and I just think that if you cost her this opportunity, even though she will eventually find another, that you’re going to be angry with yourself over it when you two do mend fences.”

“Despite your protestations otherwise, I believe Santana is correct. You are a witch and you _do_ read minds.”

“Right now, I wish that were true,” Tina replied. “Maybe then I’d know what’s going on in Santana’s head. She’s really freaking me the hell out right now.”

“I know, right?” Rachel said as she reached into her purse and retrieved her cell phone while standing and walking around their table to where Tina sat. “Thank you, for being the greatest best friend in the world, Tina.” Rachel hugged Tina tightly then released her. “If you’ll excuse me, there’s a phone call I need to make. Or more accurately a couple of them.”

 


	25. Dirty Dancing and Screaming Orgasms

               “Okay, my bitches,” Santana said as she walked up to the table with a tray full of drinks in hand. Rachel had yet to return to the table and Santana noticed pretty quickly. “Don’t tell me Berry pussied out already. We’ve been here like ten minutes. What the fuck?”

               “She just went to make a phone call, relax,” Tina implored.

               “She have to call her Daddy?” Santana asked snidely. She was clearly in a bitchy mood.

               “No,” Tina responded, simply stating, “Her mom.”

               “Oh,” Santana said flatly, realizing the implications. “Well, shit. Fuck me, right?”

               No sooner had she said that than Rachel returned to the table to find a tray full of drinks sitting on it. Her eyes widened at the sight of all the glasses on it. “I was assured that we were only having one drink apiece to quote-unquote loosen up and have a good time. There are significantly more drinks here than are strictly necessary to that end.”

               “Okay, first of all,” Santana responded, “I never agreed to this ‘one drink’ rule and I’m damn well not about to. Speaking of which,” she fished her keys out of her purse and slapped them down on the table in front of Tina, “take care of my baby, T. Secondly,” she began distributing glasses, putting a shot glass in front of all the other girls, several for herself, as well as larger mixed drinks, “Berry, T, you guys aren’t practiced drinkers, so I gots you Vodka and Cranberry Juice to sip on all night, it’s fruity and doesn’t taste too much like booze, you’ll like it, but before that we’re gonna do a round of shots. No fucking arguing.” She picked up one of her shots and held it aloft towards the center of the table. The other girls raised their shots similarly. “To one hell of a night.”

               “To one hell of a night,” Brittany and Tina echoed.

               “To one heck of a night,” Rachel amended. They clinked their shot glasses together and then all four girls threw their shots back. Everyone but Rachel slammed their shot glasses down on the table. Rachel quickly picked up on the ritual and copied it a moment late. Santana and Brittany whooped in excitement. Tina pulled a sip on her drink to chase it down. Rachel spoke, “That was not all together disagreeable. What is this concoction called, Santana?”

               “You want to do another one?” Santana offered one of the five shots still in front of her to Rachel sitting across from her.

               “I’m uncertain. I shouldn’t get fully drunk tonight. I’ll get in a great deal of trouble at home,” Rachel said.

               “Just one more,” Santana said. “It won’t be enough to get you drunk, not even your tiny ass. Then you can nurse your VC for an hour to maintain your buzz, we’ll go get pancakes after, you’ll be dry by the time Tina drops you home.” Brittany squealed at the mention of pancakes.

               “Will the cranberry juice help with the aftertaste?” Rachel asked, “Because that’s becoming somewhat unpleasant.”

               “Yep, that’s what it’s for,” Santana responded. “Only serious drinkers like yours truly go without some sort of chaser, but just sip it.” Rachel nodded and silently accepted the offered shot glass. “B?” Santana offered one to her best friend. Brittany silently shook her head, sipping on her drink of choice, a pineapple daiquiri. “Tina’s DD, so it’s just you and me, Superstar.” Santana raised another shot in Rachel’s direction. Rachel lifted hers. “And _since_ it’s just you and me, let’s dedicate this one to smokin fuckin hot ethnic brunettes everywhere.”

               Rachel smiled at the implied compliment and said, “Here here!” Once again, the girls clinked shot glasses together, knocked their shots back together, and slammed the glasses back to the table in scarily perfect synchronicity. Rachel took a sip of her mixed drink, Santana whooped once again.

               “Look at you, drinking like a pro, Berry,” Santana said, clearly feeling good. “This time next year, St. Patty’s day, I’ll have you doing Irish Car Bombs with me.”

               “I have no idea what that is,” intoned Rachel, “but I most certainly will not be drinking it. That is an absolutely atrocious thing to name a beverage. Making light of terrorism is absolutely horrendous. What is this that you’ve had me enjoying? Is it perhaps named after an act of genocide?”

               “RaeRae, relax,” Brittany said, “Don’t be ‘angry girl drunk’ okay. We’re supposed to be having fun. San was just kidding about the Car Bomb, she can’t even do one herself,” Santana huffed at this, but didn’t deny it, “only Puck can. Everybody else yaks.”

               “Very well, then. I am sorry for my outburst. I shall endeavor to maintain my composure for the duration of the evening.” Rachel took another sip of her drink and caught the extremely amused expression on her quiet best friend’s face. “What’s so funny, Tina?”

               “Oh, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

               “What’s that supposed to mean?” Rachel implored.

               “It means I know what these shots are called and I can’t wait to see the look on your face when Santana tells you,” Tina said with a smirk.

               Rachel’s face became stern as she looked back across the table. “Santana?”

               “Alright, Berry,” Santana answered at length. “When you talk about this night, and I know that you will, you can call this ‘The Night That Santana Lopez Gave You Not One but Two Screaming Orgasms.’”

               “OhmydearLord,” Rachel said as her face turned a shade of red rarely seen outside of stop signs. “On that note, I believe I need to visit the ladies’ room,” she continued as she stood up from the table.

               “I’ll go with,” volunteered Brittany bounding up after her.

               When they were clear of the table, Tina looked at Santana still laughing at Rachel’s reaction and said, “Okay, that was hilarious as anything, but _when_ she asks what was in these things, you might leave out that you just fed a vegan Bailey’s Irish Cream. Twice.”

               “Pfft, they had non-dairy Irish Cream. I made sure of it,” Santana said nonchalantly.

               “You…wha… Seriously?” Tina was dumbfounded.

               “Shit yes, I came to drink and dance and fucking have fun, not get a damn thirty minute lecture on the horrors of animal cruelty from Princess Drama there.”

*

               “San flirts with people, RaeRae. That’s just how she is. It’s like impossible for her to just be nice, at least in public. It’s just means you guys are just friends,” Brittany clarified through the bathroom stall door.

               “I understand that, Brittany,” Rachel said. She flushed the toilet and opened the stall door, walking to an unoccupied sink. “And if that’s all it was, I wouldn’t think anything of it. Sexual innuendo from Santana is practically de rigueur, at this point, but it’s more than that. She _is_ being nice to me. We hung out this week, and she _was_ nice to me.”

               “Oh, I totally made her promise to be nice to you while me and Tina were out of town.”

               “Okay, but… we hung out. She could have maintained her promise to you and simply not talked to me this week. She and I spending the day together wasn’t my idea. It was hers.”

               Brittany looked somewhat surprised at this revelation, but she resumed her smiling demeanor again quickly and said, “So then you guys are friends, like _really_ friends, not just because of me and T? That’s super cool.”

               “But she’s friends with Tina and Quinn but she’s not nice to them,” Rachel pointed out. “She was _actually_ nice to me, and as far as I can tell she’s only ever actually nice to one other person: you.”

               “And me and San are friends,” Brittany counterpointed.

               “Okay, Brittany, this may be none of my business, in fact I’m _certain_ it isn’t and if you wish not to answer it, I’ll understand, but I feel that I must ask. Have you and Santana ever been more than friends?”

               “Oh yeah, of course we have. You know that,” said Brittany.

               “How would I know that, Brittany?”

               “Well,” Brittany began, “we’re teammates in Glee and squadmates on Cheerios. We’re usually bunkmates at Cheer Camp. We use to be back-to-back neighbors when we were little, but San’s Papi bought their super big house in first grade.”

               Rachel sighed briefly, “Okay, true enough, but what I meant was… Brittany you’re aware of your reputation in the school, yes? That is to say the reputation that you have concerning your attitude towards matters of a sexual nature.” Brittany just nodded. “And you’re aware than Santana has a similar reputation?”

               “Are you asking if me and San had sexy times?” Brittany said, finally seeing where Rachel was going with her line of inquiry.

               “In a manner of speaking, yes,” Rachel answered.

               “Well, why didn’t you just ask me that? Yes, we use to. Not anymore, I don’t cheat on Tina.”

               “While I’m glad to hear of your fidelity to my best friend, it was never actually in question. My concern is in whether or not Santana wants to, as you put it, ‘have sexy times’ with me.”

               “Has she ever asked if you wanted to have sex?” Brittany asked bluntly.

               “No,” Rachel responded.

               “Has she ever offered to take you to a party at one of the guys’ houses where she knew there would be drinking?”

               “No.”

               “Has she ever like touched you or grabbed you in any of your sexy parts?”

               “No.”

               “Has she ever talked about you guys hanging out and said maybe something about her parents not being home or asked if yours were?”

               “No.”

               “Then I don’t think she’s trying to have sex with you. San’s always like super up front about her sexy times. She wants something, she goes and gets it… and fucks it. Sides, as far as I know, I’m the only girl she’s had sexy times with. Maybe she just likes you, like y’know, as a friend and she’s just decided to be nice. I know that’s not like super likely but if I had said to you a month ago that we’d be hanging out and talking in the bathroom at Tektronic tonight, how likely would think that was?”

               Rachel smiled warmly at the blonde girl, “Thank you, Brittany. Has anyone ever told you that you have a particular knack for making extremely complicated things much simpler?”

               “Things are always simple, _people_ make things complicated.”

               “True enough,” Rachel replied. “Brittany, might I ask you one more question?” Brittany nodded again. “What’s an Irish Car Bomb?”

               Brittany smiled, “It’s a shot of whiskey and Irish Cream, dropped in a pint of Guinness, that’s like a really stout Irish beer, and then you take the whole thing and chug it all at once. Puck’s the only one we know that can do one. Santana and Finn have both tried and epic failed. Finn totally blew chunks at Mike’s when he tried.”

               “I’m sorry, Brittany, Irish _Cream_? Brittany, what’s in a Screaming Orgasm?”

               “Well, normally it has Irish Cream, too, but San made sure the bartender used non-dairy cream in ours. She made him show her the bottle and everything. She was totally looking out for you,” Brittany reassured her.

               “Yes, apparently, and that’s weird to me.”

*

               Brittany and Rachel made it back out to the table just in time to hear someone on the PA system says, “Get yourselves up and get to the dance floor and get ready for D!J! Rapid! Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire!” Santana slammed back shot number four, carrying her last one with her as the four girls made their way to the floor to the opening licks of Drake’s “Forever.” There was a decent sized crowd, but not to the point of being uncomfortable or overly hot. Tina cast an eye to the DJ’s booth and if you knew to look for him, it was plain to see that it was indeed Matt Rutherford getting busy, but the booth was, for the moment, backlit, so Santana and Rachel would still have no idea.

               The girls all danced together. Santana was grooving hard already, clearly feeling extremely relaxed, said, “This is my jam, bitches! ‘Last name, Evah!’”

               Rachel cut her off, “First name, Greatest! Like a sprained ankle, boy, I ain’t nothin to play with.” The diva beamed with pride at showing Santana up and apparently surprising everyone.

               “Holy Fucking Shit!” Santana exclaimed, “Rachel Barbara Broadway knows fucking Drake! There aren’t words for this feeling of surrealness. Mind equals blown. I’ve seen everything now.”

               “You might think that,” said Tina pointing over Santana’s shoulder, “but I would direct your eyes to the DJ’s booth over there.” Santana and Rachel followed her lead and when they saw what she meant both girls’ mouths dropped open in shock.

               “Is that…” Rachel’s question trailed off presumably she answered her own question as no one else did.

               After a minute, Santana snapped out of it and whipped her focus back to Tina. “You sneaky bitches, you knew about this! How the fuck dare you not tell me something epic like this? You know I hate not knowing shit! I gots to talk to this kid!” She started to make her way to the DJ booth, but Brittany grabbed her wrist before she even took a single step.

               “Let him do his thing, San. We’ll totally go talk to him in a little bit. He’s just getting started right now.”

               “Well what the fuck are we supposed to do until then?”  Santana asked throwing her free hand up in frustration. Rachel caught Santana’s hand on the way back down and spun the Latina to face her.

               “Follow the sage wisdom of Lady Gaga, Santana,” Rachel said. “Just Dance.” Santana kicked back her last shot and proceeded to do just that. For the next hour, the girls danced relentlessly, sometimes as a group, sometimes in various pairs, but no one stopped. Santana and Rachel quickly learned what Tina and Brittany had discovered two weeks previous, Matt was one hell of a DJ. They finally broke and went to talk to Matt who chatted with the girls while keeping most of his focus on his work. If he was fazed at all by Rachel’s being there, he never showed it in the slightest. After about ten minutes, Santana announced that she had to pee, Rachel opted to accompany her, and Brittany went to the bar to get water for the group.

               “So, Matt,” Tina said, “can you show me the basics?”

               “What?” Matt asked before following with, “Why?”

               “Because I want to know. Show me,” she insisted. He walked her through the basics of digital DJing. The entirety of his set up was a set of turntables plugged up to his laptop computer which was, in turn, plugged into the club’s sound system. He showed her the Digital DJing software and how to cue up the next song and how to fade from one to the other.

               “So you can set up a cue for each individual turntable?” Tina asked.

               “Yep, just like making a playlist for your iPod,” Matt said, smiling at Tina’s enthusiasm for his passion.

               “Okay, good,” Tina said, “You’re playing on two now, so cue up ‘DJ Got Us Fallin in Love’ and ‘Hypnotize’ by Biggie on one and ‘Lollipop’ on two and when they get back from the bathroom, go dance with Rachel, and I’ll be your stand in DJ for a couple songs.”

               “Those songs don’t necessarily bridge properly,” Matt protested.

               “They’re iconic songs. Everyone will be pumped to hear them. They won’t care that the notes don’t match perfectly.”

               Matt noticed before Tina that Santana and Rachel were making their way back to the dance floor. He looked back at the Asian girl and said, “This is a bad idea.” He went about setting up the songs Tina requested.

               “This is a great idea,” Tina countered, “You like her and if she had even the tiniest of clues that you did, she’d go for you too, so get out there, give her a clue, and get your damn girl. You’ll get over being shy, Matt. Trust me, I know of what I speak.”

               “’DJ Got Us Fallin in Love’ is that a little on the nose?” Matt worried.

               “You’re trying to put an idea in her head of you and her. Subtlety isn’t exactly Rachel’s wheelhouse.”

               “I’m nervous,” he finally admitted as Tina started the opening notes of the first song.

               “I spent the entirety of my first date with Brittany scared out of my mind, you’ll be fine. Now go!” Tina commanded. Tina watched him leave hoping this would work because she was completely out of other ideas. Matt made his way towards Rachel and Santana and Tina could see him offer her a hand which she accepted. They took a couple of steps away from Santana and Matt promptly started busting out some moves that would have made Usher himself proud. Rachel smiled and danced with him. Tina also noticed the look on Santana’s face; she was not pleased.

               From beside her Tina heard, “Boo, your sexy brain rules all!” Tina was so focused on the goings on of the dance floor that Brittany’s sudden appearance at her side startled the life out of her. “Sorry,” she apologized, “didn’t mean to scare you, T. I didn’t know you knew how to DJ.”

               Tina smiled at her girlfriend, “I totally don’t, Baby, but I can switch between a couple of songs. Can you do me a favor and go dance with Santana before she hurts one or both of them, please?”

               “Totally,” Brittany replied as the sound of a camera phone snapping a picture went off. “Got you, DJ Tina C.” Brittany made her way quickly over to Santana and pulled her out of her funk and they started dancing shortly before the end of the first song. When she made the changeover to Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop,” Tina suddenly understood what Santana had been going through as she was now watching her girlfriend dance extremely close with another girl that Tina knew that she had been intimate with to a song about oral sex, no less. It was uncomfortable already and then Santana shot Tina a smug smirk. _What the hell is that look about?_ On the more positive front, Rachel was also dancing very closely with Matt, both seeming very content with the closeness. Rachel was also smiling brightly.

               As the second song came to a close, Tina switched over to the third, and when the trademark “UH!”s sounded out, the whole club went nuts. It was a remarkable feeling for Tina to experience; she instantly understood why Matt loved DJing as much as he obviously did. Tina saw Matt lean down to Rachel’s ear to speak and saw her smile widen even more as she nodded her head vigorously. Matt thumbed back towards the booth and then made the universal hand sign for “I’ll call you” and turned and headed back Tina’s way. When he got there, he just simply said, “Thank you” while wearing the biggest smile she’d ever seen on the boy.


	26. First Day Back

               The Monday after Spring Break, as is typical, was agonizingly slow for virtually everyone. No one wanted to be back at school. The day had dragged by especially for Tina, having spent ten days in nearly constant contact with her girlfriend. Her absence was now particularly noticeable. _Okay, so we are definitely co-dependent. Mental note: Next year I need to have at least one class with Brittany, preferably more._

               Eventually, the day had wound down to time for Glee Club. Mr. Schuester was, seemingly as always, running late. Brittany and Santana were talking and laughing about something no one else could hear.  Mercedes and Kurt were gossiping about who knows what. Matt, Mike, Puck, and Artie were having what appeared to be a very intense discussion that, given the audience, could mean only one thing: video games. Quinn was understandably absent, still home recovering from child birth. Tina and Rachel had just walked in and were going over their song that they had worked on Saturday making sure the band was familiar with it.

Both girls were dressed very differently than anyone had ever seen them. Tina had insisted that since they were going to live out one of Rachel’s fantasies that they would do it right. If they were going to sing a rock song and be rocker chicks, then they were damn well going to dress the part. In both girls’ cases, this necessitated a trip to the mall to acquire the appropriate attire. Rachel had picked up a pair of dark gray skinny jeans and a vintage The Who sleeveless t-shirt, in honor of her show stopping number at Regionals. Tina had gone with a Led Zeppelin shirt and a pair of leather pants that required a fair bit of effort to get into, but that she knew Brittany would love.

And Brittany wasn’t the only one. The girls turned every head in the room, including the one certified straight girl and gay boy. Puck simply said, “Damn!” Matt and Santana were notably bug eyed, mouths agape. Brittany was wearing a huge, excited grin. Mercedes said, “Rocker chicks in the freakin house, ya’ll.” Artie intoned, “Ya’ll look fierce, yo.”

Before they could say anything in return, from behind Rachel came Finn’s excited voice, “Hey, Rach, you look great.”

Rachel huffed out a breath and rolled her eyes in Tina’s direction before plastering on her standard “Rachel Berry, Superstar” smile and turning to face him. “Thank you very much, Finn. How was your Spring Break?” she asked quickly, trying to divert the conversation from where she was almost certain it was going.

“Oh it was cool. I mostly slept in, played a lot of Call of Duty. Went and saw that movie The Crazies, it was pretty awesome, but I was wondering…”

“About my Spring Break?” she cut him off. “Kind of you to ask. It was a veritable roller coaster of emotions. Sunday, my fathers took me out in grand fashion to celebrate my exemplary performance and our win at Regionals at Chai Home Kitchen for my favorite vegan Thai food. Then Monday I spent at Mercedes’ house watching an array of motion pictures with Mercedes and the ever delightful Mrs. Jones. Tuesday I spent with Santana doing…”

“Santana?” the tall boy said with a confused look on his face.

“Yes, Santana Lopez,” Rachel said pointing to the girl in question, “she’s in Glee with us.”

“I know who Santana is, but why did you hang out with her?” Finn said.

“Because she asked me to, and because we are in the same social circle now through Tina and Brittany and because I had no other plans for that day, I agreed. We did a number of things including clothes shopping getting pampered at a spa, a new experience for me which I found very enjoyable. She also introduced me to a recently opened ice cream shop in town that has non-dairy selections that I must say was quite delicious. Wednesday morning I had a breakfast date with my estranged biological mother and Quinn to discuss the possibility of the former adopting the latter’s then soon to be born baby, a meeting that ironically enough was disrupted by the sudden onset of Quinn’s labor contractions. I spent the rest of the day at the hospital with the majority of the rest of the Glee Club, less some noticeably absent members, waiting to see how Quinn was doing.”

“Sorry,” Tina apologized while staring a hole in Finn, “Britt and I would have made it, but we were out of town.”

“Apologies completely unnecessary, Tina. That is a thoroughly valid reason for not being present to support one’s teammate in time of need, much more valid than some could offer. Thursday morning was likewise spent at the hospital until a certain wise woman rightly pointed out that I was desperately in need of sleep, as such I spent the bulk of the afternoon being, I believe the term is, spooned, by Brittany, which I must say, Tina, is a rather delightful sensation.”

“Not news to me, honey,” Tina retorted quickly with a smile.

“Thursday night I spent getting dolled up and going out with the aforementioned wise woman, my afternoon’s Big Spoon, and the previously discussed Santana where we had a lovely time dancing and singing together. Santana was nice enough to give us all Screaming Orgasms…”

“WHAT?” Finn asked far too loudly drawing attention from a couple of people in the room. Tina was furiously biting the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing and the innuendo.

“Screaming Orgasms,” Rachel confirmed flatly. “I believe that Brittany and Tina had one each, right?”

“Correct,” Tina said managing to keep her voice level, “I’d have asked for more but, well, I was driving.”

Now it was Rachel who had to make a concerted effort to keep from laughing. “As I said, a wise woman and a wise decision. I, myself, had two and in rapid succession, no less. It was quite the experience. If I recall correctly Santana wound up having four or perhaps five by night’s end.”

“Five, I think,” Tina confirmed.

“I believe you are right. And Finn I know what you are thinking, that I should have waited for a more appropriate age before engaging in such activities and in times past I certainly would have agreed with you, as certainly there are very specific laws regarding such things. However, it felt right at the time and we were safe in doing it, as such I don’t regret a moment of it.”

Finn had long ago gone speechless and pale faced. “Were you… drunk or something?”

“Santana assured me that while obviously somewhat inebriated, and probably over the legal limit, especially for a minor, that I was nowhere near what one might call ‘hammered’ more accurately I think I would have been described as ‘buzzed.’ Santana’s assurances were backed up by the fact that I did not have a hangover the next morning.”

He stood there not saying anything, barely moving for a minute before Mr. Schuester _finally_ made his entrance saying, “Sorry I’m late, can everyone please take your seats?” Tina and Rachel quickly took seats in the front row. Finn stood stunned, motionless. “Finn, can you take a seat, please?” Mr. Shue repeated, and finally he did. “Everyone enjoy their Spring Break?” he asked to a mixed response. “I’d like to start off by thanking you and congratulating all of you on a job extremely well done at Regionals. I confirmed with Principal Figgins this morning Glee Club will officially continue on next year. I know that’s a big concern off of a lot of your shoulders. Unfortunately, we have our plates full with Spring Showcase in just over three weeks and Nationals in seven, so we need to get down to business on…”

Rachel’s hand shot up quickly. “Mr. Schuester, I have one quick order of club business before we get into what is undoubtedly a much larger discussion of set lists for the Showcase and fundraising for Nationals,” she said standing and walking to the middle of the floor.

“Actually, Nationals is covered, but go ahead,” he said.

Rachel faced Mr. Schuester instead of the group. “Mr. Shue, we’re all aware of the extreme limitations of the Glee Club’s budget. How can we suddenly have funds enough to pay for entry fees, transportation, and lodging for fourteen people?”

“I’ll explain it to you later, privately, Rachel, just continue with what you were going to say,” he dodged.

“Very well, in my capacity as Team Captain of this Club, I would like to take this time to hereby officially name Tina as Glee Club Co-Captain.”

“Um, no thanks,” Tina responded very quickly.

Just as quickly, Rachel came back with, “It was not an interrogative statement, Tina. You are Glee Club Co-Captain. You’ve been doing the job for several weeks now. It’s long past time we officially recognized you as such.”

“Since when?” Tina asked.

“Since what I believe is known about the school as ‘Vampire Day’ when you stood here in this spot and took the club to task for being dilatory in their attitudes toward preparing for Regionals, and since your actions in leading the group in the wake of my attack. If you would prefer we can put it to a vote, I motion that we appoint Tina Cohen-Chang co-Captain of the New Directions Glee Club.”

“Motion seconded,” Artie responded quickly.

“Motion freakin carried,” sounded Santana almost immediately after him.

“The motion is brought to a vote,” Rachel said. “All those in favor, raise your hand.” She quickly scanned the room. “Everyone but Finn. All those opposed? No one. Finn stands silent on the issue. Having previously discussed this issue with Quinn she votes ‘Aye’ in absentia. The Aye’s have it. Tina, you are hereby appointed co-Captain of Glee Club. Congratulations, and as I said, you’ve effectively been doing the job for weeks. It shouldn’t be a burden on you or time. Mr. Schuester, I hereby return the floor to you.” With that she retook her seat next to Tina. Tina smiled slightly and pulled Rachel into a one armed, side hug.

“Okay, congratulations Tina. Now, as I was saying, Spring Showcase is just over three weeks away. It’s going to be a two hour show, and here’s how it’s going to work. Artie, Quinn, Matt, Mike, Brittany, Kurt, and Mercedes, none of you have ever sang lead at a competition, you will all get a slot to perform. Those of you have had leads can work with the others if they wish to share their spots. Also depending on the song selection, there will be two or possibly three open slots for you to fight over. It’s not an official show choir competition, but it is still a school event so let’s try to stick to the standards imposed at competition. Artie, I know you’ve been chomping at bit to do Lil Wayne but ‘Drop the World’ is just too violent and vulgar. I’ll leave the rest of the period for you to brainstorm ideas for your performances, but I believe Rachel and Tina have something prepared for us today. Is this an audition for Showcase, Rachel?”

“While it may serve as such,” Rachel said as she and Tina stood and walked to the center of the floor, “it was originally conceived as an exercise in friendly bonding between Tina and me, as well as a small measure of wish fulfillment on my part.”

“And mine,” Tina interjected.

“Tina’s as well, evidentially. While Broadway and Barbara will always be my first loves musically, I have always a certain visceral reaction, pleasantly so, to the rock ‘n’ roll styling of the late 70’s/early 80’s band Heart, and…”

“Wait,” Puck interrupted, “you’re doing a Heart song? Which one?”

“Noah, I was not aware of your affinity for the Wilson Sisters,” Rachel said smiling in surprise.

“Are you kidding me?” he said. “Nancy Wilson, badass rocker chick and world class MILF? Puckzilla knows some freaking Heart.”

“Well, then,” Rachel replied, “in answer to your original question we are about to perform the classic ‘Barracuda’.”

“Yep, that’s it,” Puck jumped up from his seat and walked toward the band. “You, Band Geek, give me that guitar. I’m playing lead on this.” The skinny guitarist quickly handed over his guitar to Puck and quickly backed away.

“Noah, if you wish to accompany us on this number, we would be agreeable to that,” Rachel said, then after a beat added, “right after you apologize to Martin for that horrible display of testosterone.”

Puck growled deeply but never able to deny “his Jew” on matters such as this, he quickly turned back to the curly haired boy and quickly said, “Sorry, dude.”

A more than slightly stunned Martin Bishop muttered, “Uh, umm… no worries?”

“You’re sure you know the song?” Tina asked.

Puck cranked the amp up, looked at Tina and said, “Princess, I got this. Check it.” He then proceeded to rip out the opening riff of the song like he’d been touring with Heart for years, and they were off…

(Rachel)

So this ain't the end

I saw you agaaaaaaain today

Had to turn my heart away

You smiled like the sun

Kisses for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeveryone

And tales - it never fails!

 

You lying so low in the weeds

 I bet you gonna ambush me

You'd have me down, down, down, down, down on my knees

Now wouldn't ya, Barracuda?

Ooooow!

(Tina)

So back over time when we were all

Tryyyyyyyyyying for free

You met up with porpoise and me, uh huh

No right no wrong you’re selling a song

A naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame whisper game

 

But if the real thing don't do the trick

No, you better make up something quick

You gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn it out to the wiiiiiiiiick

Oooooh, Barracuda!

 

(Both)

Oooooooh!

"Sell me sell you" the porpoise said

Dive down deep to save my head

(Rachel)

You...I think you got the bluuuuuuuuues too

(Both)

All that night and all the next

Swam without looking back

Made for the western pools - silly fools! 

(Rachel)

But if the real thing don't do the trick

No, you’re gonna make up something quick

(Tina)

You gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn it out to the wiiiiiiiiick

Oooooooooooooooooooh, Barracuda!

               As soon as the song was over, Rachel hugged Tina tightly, then Puck, and then did a small happy dance. Brittany came bouncing down to grab Tina in a Brittany-hug, and said, “You have no idea how turned on I am right now.” Tina smiled and blushed at this and kissed her girlfriend sweetly. Elation overflowing, Rachel quickly hugged Puck again and placed a very firm kiss on his cheek.

At this site there came there came a voice that sounded almost like a roar, “Is this what you’re gonna be now, Rachel? You do it with her, and now you’re just _this?_ ” it was a mightily angry Finn. “You were worth way more than that. God! Why do I always lose everything?” Rachel stood stunned still. Puck quickly returned the guitar and extricated him from what clearly didn’t concern him. Finn turned his head to look at Santana, “Why do you always take everything from me?”

               Arching an eyebrow, Santana replied coolly menacing, “Firstly, watch your tone, Frankenteen, with me and with Frodo. Secondly, I don’t have the slightest clue what the hell you’re talking about because the only thing I recall taking from you was your virginity and I don’t remember you complaining about that.”

               “You slept with Santana?” Rachel asked incredulously. “You lied to me! You said you couldn’t go through with it.”

               “We weren’t together, Rachel! You were with Jesse.”

               “You say that as if you weren’t about to ask me out again when you walked into the choir room a moment ago, and don’t lie to me… again. I know you were. Moreover, that wasn’t my point. My point was you seem to view my virginity as something of value but not your own since you gave it to someone for whom you have nothing but contempt, so I must conclude that this little hissy fit you’re throwing has less to do with my maintaining my virtue and more to do with you thinking that it somehow belongs to you despite the fact that when you had my affections, you threw them away like so much hot garbage.”

               “I made a mistake,” Finn pleaded.

               “As did I,” Rachel replied. “My mistake was in thinking that you were ever worthy of my time.”

               Hurt written across his face Finn said, “Whatever! You fucked that slut and now you’re a slut just like her!”

               At this Matt and Santana both jumped forward in a rage. Mike, Puck, and Mercedes grabbed Matt and tried valiantly to hold him back while Artie tried to appeal to him to calm down. Brittany, Tina, Kurt, and Mr. Schuester were having much more trouble holding back the rampaging Santana. So engaged with the two of them was the group that when the ear-splitting crack of skin-on-skin echoed through the choir room, everyone was suddenly stunned still, even Matt and Santana. When they all finally looked at the source of the sound, they found Finn knocked on his ass on the floor with a quickly developing welt on his left cheek and Rachel somehow towering over him. “Finn Hudson, you do **_NOT_** call her that… that vile, contemptible word! Do you understand me? Not Santana, not myself, no one! Not that it is remotely any of your business but I did _not_ have sex with Santana. If you seriously think that I would lose my virginity in a mildly intoxicated bout of group sex with my best friend and her girlfriend, then that just proves how very little you know me Finn. Listen to me and heed my words, now and forever more we are through, you and I. I am over you. I am so far over you that you would need a telescope to see me. I have moved on, it’s time you did the same.”

               Mr. Schuester finally spoke up at long last, “Okay, everyone needs to just settle down. Finn, outside. Puck, Mike, please go with him to make sure he calms down. Rachel, my office please. Everyone else, brainstorms about the Showcase.”

               Rachel quickly looked at her friend and nodded towards the office and said, “Tina?” They quickly beat a path to the office.

               “Tina, can I help you?” Mr. Schuester asked.

               “Tina is here,” Rachel answered, “because I asked her to be. I struck another student, on school grounds in plain view of a member of the faculty. I assume I am to be suspended, in which case she needs to know, so that she, as co-Captain, may take over leadership of the club.”

               “You’re not suspended, Rachel,” Mr. Schuester interjected. “Finn definitely had that coming. Yes, you shouldn’t hit students. There, I gave you a verbal warning. Don’t let me catch you doing it again.”

               “I am thus chastened,” she responded quickly. “Why then, am I called to the office?”

               “You wanted to know how we were paying for the trip to Nationals. I told you that I’d tell you later. It’s later.”

               “In that case,” Rachel responded, “either it’s club business, in which Tina, as co-Captain should know about it as well, or more likely since you wanted to speak privately, it has something to do with me personally, in which case, Tina as my best friend, will be told about it soon, if not immediately, after  anyway.”

               “Fine,” said Schuester, “Last Monday, Shelby Corcoran handed me fifteen first class plane tickets, reservations for six rooms in a five-star hotel in Atlanta, and a check for $100,000 to cover expenses.” Both girls sat in stunned silence. “She said I could tell you, if you asked but she asked that I not tell you in front of the group. I guess she didn’t want it to look like she was…”

               “Buying my affections,” Rachel finished for him. He nodded. “But isn’t that what she’s doing?” Rachel was addressing Tina, now, “I mean, I let her adopt Beth and she pays for us to go to Nationals?”

               “No,” countered Tina, “Mr. Shue, you said this happened on Monday right? A week ago today?”

               “Yes,” he replied.

               “You only agreed to the adoption late Thursday night, she hadn’t even broached the subject of adoption with you then.”

               “You’re right,” Rachel replied, “so this is just her being… incredibly generous.”


	27. Prom Day

               In the almost two weeks since the night at the club, Santana hadn’t said or done anything that might betray any sort of plans to try to make a move on Brittany, at least not as far as Tina could tell, but still she couldn’t put the thought out of her mind. She wasn’t jealous. She knew Brittany loved her and she knew Brittany was a loyal and faithful girlfriend, but if Santana tried something, it would hurt Brittany severely.

Brittany and Santana had been best friends for as long as either of them could remember. They’d met in grade school and become instant best friends been inseparable since. Tina knew that they had been intimate, but also knew that at least on Brittany’s part it was just sex. Santana, on the other hand, was far more inscrutable. Everyone in the whole school knew that Santana got around, but as far as Tina knew Brittany was the only girl that Santana had ever been with. Sure, she flirted with others but she never really meant it, mostly it was all just sexual antagonism… except with Rachel, which just confused the whole situation even more.

Tina’s head hurt every time she thought about it, so mostly she just tried not to. Santana couldn’t do anything to destroy what she had with Brittany so in the end whatever was going on, if anything didn’t matter. Ultimately, all she could do was wait and see and hope that their happy little quartet wasn’t destroyed.

The day of the big event the girls and their personal style advisor, Kurt, went together to get their hair and make-up done. The girls had booked all four chairs at the most upscale place in Lima and Kurt simultaneously directed all four stylists in what was required for the four girls. Kurt had remained the only one to have seen all four girls in their dresses. Brittany and Tina had seen each other, and they’d both seen Santana’s, but only Kurt had seen Rachel’s and everyone was intrigued. Santana was concerned that the dress would have some sort of animal on it, especially since Rachel was technically her date for the evening but Brittany rightly pointed out that Kurt would never allow such as fashion disaster to happen.

When their hair was done and make-up was applied, the girls took Kurt out for a late lunch as a thank you for all the work he’d done on their dresses. Five plates of pasta and a small mountain of breadsticks later, the girls were on their way back to their respective houses to get dressed. Brittany and Tina had already decided they would get dressed at Tina’s and go back to Brittany’s dad’s house after.

 While Tina’s parents were sort of peripherally aware of the fact that their daughter was sexually active, Tina had never really got the notion that they would be okay with it while they were in the house. And since neither girl was particularly adept at being quiet they figured it smarter to go back to the Pierce household after prom where the adults were not only aware that the girls had their sexy times, but had heard it often.

What neither Brittany nor Tina had anticipated was how difficult it would be for them to keep their hands to themselves while getting dressed. With make-up and hair that neither wanted to mess up, and a set of parents who didn’t want to hear it just downstairs, for the first time in two weeks the girls found themselves effectively not allowed to have sex, which of course meant that they were both incredibly turned on, especially since they were due to change clothes in front of each other.

“Okay, this is ridiculous,” Tina said at last, sexual frustration getting the better of her when Brittany had discarded her shirt. The blonde now stood in front of her in blue jeans and a light pink bra.

“What’s the matter, T?”

“I can’t spend the night this worked up,” Tina explained, “especially since I know I’m gonna get even more turned on during the night. I don’t want to be one of those girls that gets caught having sex in the bathroom at prom, and yes, I know we’ve had sex at school, but that’s different than prom when people are in and out of the bathroom all night.”

“Boo, if you need sexy times all you had to do was say so,” Brittany said as she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra letting it fall to the floor as she caressed her breasts.

“But our hair and make-up is done, we don’t have time to fix them back if they get messed up, plus my parents are downstairs.” While Tina made her objections Brittany just nodded as she continued to disrobe. “Brittany, come on, honey. You’re killing me.”

“I got you, T. Turn on music, loud as it will go, and take your clothes off. We can have sexy times still.” Tina quickly complied. She turned on the loudest thing she could find quickly, Them Crooked Vultures, shedding her shirt on the way to the computer and her bra when she got there. She then checked the door to make sure it was locked while unzipping her skirt.

“We’re both wearing really revealing dresses, Brit and my parents are going to take _lots_ of pictures. No hickeys, no bite marks, no scratch marks.”

“Boo, this is gonna be super different than anything we’ve ever done. We’re not going to have sex or make love. I’m not even gonna kiss you. I’m gonna fuck you,” Brittany usually only swore _during_ sex so hearing the profanity come out of her mouth now only served to turn Tina on even more. Brittany added, “Hard.” Tina quickly did away with the last of her clothes. “Okay, turn and face the dresser. Put your hands on it and bend over a little. Yeah, like that.” Brittany walked up behind Tina and ran the tips of her fingers down Tina’s back. The touch was electric to the thoroughly worked up Tina that her body shivered in response.

“Brittany, I need you to touch me please,” Tina begged.

“I am touching you, Boo. Did you like maybe have somewhere specific you wanted touched?” Brittany teased.

“God,” Tina muttered involuntary, she _loved_ being teased but she really needed a release right now. “Yes, fucking yes! Down there.”

“Down where? Down here?” Brittany asked dragging her fingertips up Tina’s thighs.

“God, no, dammit, I need… Brittany will you please hurry up and fuck me? Please?”

“Oh, is that what you wanted?” Tina locked eyes with Brittany in the mirror and nodded. “Well since you said please…” Brittany braced her left hand on Tina hip and glided her right hand the rest of the way up Tina’s thigh, quickly and roughly inserting two fingers into Tina’s hot, soaking center. Tina moaned deeply through tightly pressed lips. “God, Boo, you’re super wet. I don’t think I’ve ever felt you this wet. Who did this to you?” Brittany asked working at a steady pace in and out of Tina.

“You did,” Tina muttered between gasps, “Faster.”

Brittany increased her speed a little. “I’m sorry, Boo, didn’t catch that. Who did this to you?”

“Fucking… you did, Baby.”

Another slight speed increase in speed and Brittany said, “So this is all for me?”

“All for you, Baby,” Tina squealed as Brittany slid across her g-spot lightly.

“So you’re mine? This ass?” Brittany asked suddenly giving it a hard slap. Tina yelped but Brittany could see the smile on her face in the mirror. “This pussy?” Brittany asked suddenly increasing the force of her thrusts. “This is all mine?”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck yessssssssssssss, Baby. All yours. Just don’t stop.”

“Tina, look at me.” The girls locked eyes in the mirror once again. “Keep looking at me. Don’t look away or I’ll stop.”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Tina barked. As she started getting close, Tina rocked her hips in time with Brittany’s thrusting hand. Brittany stared hard at her girl. She could see Tina was so close to the edge. Brittany readied herself and just as she thrust her fingers in again, she delivered another sharp slap to Tina’s ass. That did it. Tina came completely undone screaming Brittany’s name, fighting hard to keep her eyes open and locked on the reflection of her girlfriend. The shared intensity had Brittany ready to blow as well. Tina quickly turned to face her and said, “Tell me what you need, Baby.”

“Three fingers,” she panted out, “Hard and fast.” Tina complied working the blonde furiously, taking a nipple in her mouth as well. It only took a minute before Brittany was coming hard all over Tina’s hand.

No sooner had they both come down from a pair of very intense orgasms than there was a loud rap at the door. “Music’s kinda loud girls,” came the voice of Stephen Chang.

“Okay, sorry Dad,” Tina yelled as she scrambled over to the computer on still very wobbly legs. Tina turned the volume down and then sat down quickly in her desk chair. “You never stop surprising me, Baby.” Tina looked around the room and the scattered clothes everywhere and smiled. “You know Santana’s gonna be able to tell as soon as she looks at us.”

“Yeah,” Brittany said, she was still looking into the mirror checking to see if they’d messed up her hair which they hadn’t. “She’ll be totally jelly, too.”

And just like that two weeks’ worth of worry and concern came rushing back to her. “Baby, I don’t think she wanted me to come tonight. Santana, I mean.”

Brittany just laughed. “Why wouldn’t she want us to have sexy times? That’s just silly.”

Tina chuckled slightly, “No, Britt, I don’t think she wanted me to go with you guys to prom. Normally when I hesitated about doing things you want to do she calls me ‘Bitch’ and tells me to man up or whatever, but this time is was ‘oh she could get in trouble’ and ‘I’ll take care of Britts for you’ and then there was that look…”

“I think she’s just like trying to be a better person or something,” Brittany reassured her, “I totally had this same conversation with RaeRae in the bathroom at the club. It’s like maybe she knows how much you mean to me and how much Rachel means to you and she knows that like if she makes RaeRae or you mad or sad then I’ll be super mad at her, and then she won’t have any friends and that would be totally super sad for her.”

“Makes sense,” Tina said. “I guess I’m just worried.”

Brittany walked over to Tina and knelt down in front of her, “Boo, you don’t need to be worried. I’m with you from now until forever. I totally love you til the end of time.”

“I know that, Baby,” Tina said pulling Brittany up to sit on her lap. The contact of naked skin that was normally very stimulating was, in this instance, comforting. Brittany laid her head on top of Tina’s. “I’m not worried about her stealing you from me. I’m just worried about her _trying_ and hurting you and making things awkward with us. Y’know, you, me, her, and Rachel, our little quartet, I don’t want anything to upset that.”

“It’ll be okay, Boo, even if she does do something, but she so won’t. But me and her have fought before. We’ll get past it if it happens. No worries, T.” Tina sighed and relaxed visibly. “Now, as much as I so love naked cuddle time, we kinda need to hurry and get dressed. San will be here soon.” Brittany got up to go retrieve her dress and Tina enjoyed the view as she went.

Brittany started taking the dress off the hanger when Tina said, “Baby, are you forgetting something?”

“If you mean my panties, then no, I’m totally not forgetting them. I’m not wearing any and neither are you,” Brittany punctuated with a sexy smile.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Baby.”


	28. Prom Night

               The girls got dressed and checked hair and make-up to make sure their sexy times hadn’t messed them up. They were all good. As Brittany was helping Tina make sure her dress was secure the blonde said, “Boo, your nipples are still poking through your dress a little.”

               “Yeah, well, the idea of going commando to prom with you is pretty damned exciting, Baby. Is this one of your fantasies? Is this something you’d planned?” Tina asked.

               “I totally didn’t. It completely just came to me when I saw how you were staring at my ass when I was walking away.”

               “Sorry,” Tina said sheepishly.

               “Don’t be sorry, Boo. I work like totally hard to keep this ass looking super fantastic. You can totally stare all you want.  It makes me feel mega sexy. Want another peek?” Brittany asked quickly pulling up the back of her dress and spinning around.

               Tina sighed at the sight and raised a hand to lightly caress her girlfriend’s bare backside. “God, you’re so sexy,” she said. “So, do you have any that we haven’t done? Fantasies, I mean. There had to have been some that had to wait until we started having sex, right?”

               “That was one of them, or well, kinda two, really.”

               “What? You fucking me and me fucking you?”

               “No, the rough sex and the spanking,” Brittany clarified.

               Tina raised an eyebrow and said, “You want to be spanked?” Brittany nodded in reply, so Tina happily obliged her and raised her right hand, bringing it down hard, making solid contact with Brittany’s bare ass. The blonde yelped and the moaned loudly as she let her dress fall back down to her calves. “You like?”

               “Totally,” Brittany cooed. “There was one more thing I wanted to like mention now that I wanted to try so you can be like getting your head ready for it cuz I totally know you aren’t yet, but I want you to at least thing about it, k? Cuz you can totally say no, but just think about it.”

               “What on Earth could this possibly be that needs this much build up?” Tina asked more than a little concerned.

               “It’s a football player having sexy times with a cheerleader,” she said.

               Now Tina just looked confused. “You’ve… haven’t you done that already?”

               “Duh, totally! Lots of times, but I’ve only ever been the cheerleader.”

               “And you… you want to be the football player?” Brittany nodded. “Which would make me the cheerleader.” Brittany nodded. “And for the full effect, you’d probably want to use a, uh… a…”

               “Strap-on,” Brittany finished for her.

               Tina cast her eyes down abruptly, “Hey, look at that. No more nipple poking problems,” she looked back up at Brittany and continued, “I won’t say no, Baby, but you’re right, I’m not ready for that. Not right now.”

               “I totally get it,” Brittany said kissing Tina on the cheek. “Ready to go get our picture taken like a bazillion times?”

               “Yeah, in just a second.”

               “What’s wrong?”

               “Nothing’s wrong,” Tina said “A minute ago you said that you totally love me until the end of time.”

               “I super do.”

               “I know you do,” Tina said smiling up her girlfriend, “I just didn’t say it back. I totally love you until the end of time, too, Baby.”

               “Awww, Boo.” The girls kissed chastely.

               “Okay, Night of a Bazillion Pictures. Let’s do it,” Tina said disengaging from Brittany and picking up her bag, retrieving her camera, quickly pointing it at Brittany and snapping a picture of the stunning blonde. “That’s one,” she said.

               The girls went downstairs and, as predicted were assailed by cameras from both of Tina’s parents, all four of Brittany’s, and Santana’s mother. Apparently word had gotten out about the girls going to prom. Maria Lopez was, if anything, even more stunningly beautiful than her daughter. Brittany introduced Tina to her, Brittany addressing her as Mamà. Brittany, having apparently grown up in the Lopez household every bit as much as in either of her parents’, regaled Tina with stories of the woman’s amazing cooking skills. The couple found themselves invited over for dinner the subsequent weekend. Somehow Maria had beaten Santana here, so the girls were stuck waiting on their ride having little choice but to turn and pose as instructed. Brittany was just rolling with it, but Tina wasn’t used to having this much attention paid her and was getting antsy, made all the worse because they’d get to start it all anew when Santana finally arrived and likely get to do it again at the Berry Residence.

               Finally, Tina had to excuse herself and step outside to breathe. No sooner had she settled her nerves than Santana pulled up, and so the pictures began anew, the seven parents coming out to greet them with camera flashes. Santana was, as always, dressed to kill in a floor length, yellow dress with a low cut V-neckline, cut out sides and a beaded design on the straps over her shoulders and across the open back. _It looks like we’re a trio of commandoes tonight._

After another fifteen minutes of pictures of the trio, Santana had grabbed the other two girls and dragged them away from the small paparazzi out front of the Cohen-Chang residence, explaining once in the truck that at some point you just had to leave because they would never stop with the cameras.

Prom Night traffic made the trip to Rachel’s brutally long and Santana was apparently in a cranky mood to start with. She’d hidden it for the parents and the pictures, but alone with her friends she maintained no pretense. She was cranky and bitchy and yelling at everyone on the road. Tina tried to talk to her about it and got called “Morticia” for the first time in a long while. Brittany tried and got a much more polite brush off, but a brush off all the same.  When they arrived at Rachel’s house, Santana retrieved something out of the passenger side floorboard trying to hide it but the plastic shell packaging defeated her by making too much noise.

“Santana, did you get Rachel a corsage?” Tina asked of the small flower in the Latina’s hand.

“Shut up! You got Brittany one,” Santana retorted.

“Brittany’s my girlfriend and also my date to prom. You have remained steadfast that Rachel is your ‘guest’ at prom, and to you she is your best friend’s girlfriend’s friend that you were effectively blackmailed into bringing.”

“Fuck you. We’re friends.”

“Really?” Brittany asked rather excitedly.

“Yes, goddammit, while you two bitches have been busy going at it like fucking bunnies on ecstasy, me and Ber… fuck it, me and Rachel have hung out a little. We’ve, y’know, bonded or whatever. I know this is lame as shit, but she loves this cheesy crap. Can’t I do something nice for a friend? Maybe make her ass feel special and shit?”

“I don’t know about ‘can’t’” Tina responded, “but you’ve certainly been unwilling up until now.”

“Fuck off! Can we just go do this shit? Get it over with so we can go to the goddamn prom already?” Santana didn’t wait for an answer, shoving the door to the car open and walking up the driveway.

As soon as the door was closed Brittany looked excitedly at Tina, “Boo, you were totally worried for nothing. San’s got it super bad for RaeRae, not me.”

“But does she _really_ like Rachel or is just looking for someone to hook up with on Prom Night?”

Brittany gave a small shrug. “Does Rae like girls?”

“Caught her looking a couple times, don’t know if it means anything.”

“Looking? At who?”

“Quinn, you… San.”

Brittany bounced in her seat excitedly at the last name on the list until something occurred to her, “What about her and Matty?”

“First date didn’t go well. Matt got nervous and clammed up. They’re working together on a song together for the Showcase to maybe get him in his element and loosened up. They’re nothing official, so…”

Tina was cut off by a loud rap on the window on Brittany’s side of the truck. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR!”  They did as instructed and all three girls made their way up to front door. Tina rang the bell and a minute later one of Rachel’s dads opened the door.

“Hi, Hiram,” Brittany said excitedly.

The short, balding, obviously Jewish man in the doorway smiled at the bubbly blonde, “Brittany, aren’t you just a vision of loveliness? Blue is definitely your color, sweetie. And Miss Tina, platinum and strapless? Bold, I like it.”

“Thanks,” Tina replied smiling brightly.

“Come in, girls,” he said, standing to one side ushering the girls inside, “The princess is upstairs putting the last minute touches on, undoubtedly waiting to make her diva entrance. Rachel, your friends are here!”

They heard her call from upstairs, “Thank you, Dad. I’ll there in just a brief moment.”

“See?” he said. “I’m sorry, young lady. I know I saw you perform at the last show, but I don’t know your name. I’m Hiram Berry,” he extended a hand to Santana.

“Oh, sorry,” she said reaching out to take his hand, “I’m Santana Lopez.”

“Is that right? I…”

“Hello, ladies,” Rachel interrupted her dad from the top of the stairs, “are we all ready for Prom?”

“Right on cue,” said Hiram. Four sets of eyes looked up and four jaws hit the floor. Rachel was wearing long, black, single shoulder, form fitting dress. Her hair was up in a loose bun. She had on just a dusting of make-up and red lipstick.

Santana, seemingly unconsciously, muttered, “Damn.” When she realized what she’d said she immediately looked at Hiram who was still looking at his daughter descending the stairs and said, “Sorry, Mr. B.”

He looked back to Santana and said, “No, I’d say ‘damn’ about covers it.” He looked back at Rachel and said, “Sweetheart, you look great.”

“I’d say closer to phenomenal, really,” said Tina.

“Smokin hot,” Brittany agreed, “Like if I wasn’t totally in love with Tina, I’d be all over you right now.”

“Thank you, Dad,” Rachel said, giving the man a hug. “Tina, Brittany, you both look absolutely sensational as well.”

“I… j… uh, you…” Santana stammered.

“Does someone have a camera?” Rachel asked. “Please someone take a picture of this.” Hiram and Tina both obliged her in short order. “There, now I have photographic proof of the time Santana Lopez was dumbstruck by a really great dress.”

“RaeRae, it’s maybe, partly the dress,” said Brittany hugging the tiny brunette, “but totally mostly it’s the hottie in the dress. San, give RaeRae her flower so we can do pictures so we can go.”

“Thank you, Brittany,” Rachel replied. “Santana, you got me a flower?”

“It’s a, uh corsage,” the Latina spoke at last holding up the box.

“It’s lovely and it goes perfectly with my dress and make-up, thank you, Santana,” Rachel said as Santana opened the box, retrieving the red orchid floral arrangement. Rachel offered her left wrist and Santana slid the wrist corsage into place.

“Um, welcome. You do look great, by the way.”

“Thank you, Santana. As always, you look exquisite,” said Rachel.

Santana smiled at the compliment, and seemingly finding herself once again replied, “Being this hot is hard job, but someone’s gotta do it, right?”

“Indeed,” replied Rachel, “and you acquit yourself of it admirably. Now shall we do pictures so that we might disembark before our dear friend Brittany explodes from anticipation?”

“Let’s do this.”

After another round of pictures that once again Santana had to drag them away from, this time with Tina’s assistance, they loaded back up and made their to the school. The prom looked good, or at least as good as the McKinley Gym could look considering. Brittany and Rachel had made a b-line for the punchbowl. Tina and Santana went to the dance floor to dance while waiting on the other girls to return. The girls were turning a lot of heads, most of them envious. That made Santana happy and if Tina were being completely honest with herself she didn’t hate it either. Their girls returned and they began dancing. Brittany and Tina spent the next hour dancing, fast songs, slow songs, they danced to them all. Santana and Rachel danced intermittently with each other and others. Rachel also kept herself, Tina, and Brittany stocked up on punch, Santana wasn’t interested in any.

When the lead singer of the band asked if any girls in the place wanted to sing, Rachel, of course, shot up to the stage like a rocket. The band played Cobra Starship’s “Good Girls Go Bad” with Rachel filling in for Leighton Meester.  The band was impressed and offered to let Rachel sing lead on a song which she happily accepted. Santana groaned expecting some Rachel-song, show tunes, Barbara, Celine, something, so when the band started playing Fall Out Boy’s “Dance, Dance” Santana couldn’t help but laugh. “This is dedicated my dear friend Brittany who loves to dance,” Rachel said, adding, “even though that’s not remotely what this song is actually about.”

“Love you, RaeRae!” Brittany shouted.

“Love you too, Brittany,” Rachel replied. “She says she’s no good with words but I’m worse…”

Brittany grabbed Tina and led them in an upbeat dance to the song. Tina did her best to follow but her coordination seemed somewhat off. It didn’t really matter to either of them though; they were smiling and laughing the whole time. Not smiling and not laughing was Santana. She was busy staring daggers at the happy couple. Near the end of the song, Tina finally looked up and noticed the look on her face. As soon as they locked eyes, Santana turned and stormed off.

When Rachel got back to them she asked quickly, “What’s wrong with Santana?”

“I don’t know,” Tina replied, “but I’m gonna go find out. Here, Britt, you want to dance with Rachel while I go see what’s up with Santana?”

“Toooootally,” Brittany replied.

“Baby, are you okay?” Tina asked

“I’m great. Go talk to San. RaeRae, come dance with me.”

“Take care of my girl,” Tina said to Rachel.

“O’course,” Rachel replied.

Tina quickly set off in search of where Santana went and when a line of girls came pouring out of the bathroom, she quickly deduced her location. When Tina pushed on the door to the ladies room there was a wet smacking impact against the inside of the door. “STAY THE FUCK OUT!” Santana shouted.

“San, it’s me!” Tina yelled back.

“Bitch, you stay the fuck out most of all!” Santana yelled back.

“I’m coming in there,” Tina said, “if you feel you have to throw something at me, do what you have to do.” Tina pushed the door open and walked in find Santana standing near the sink with a wad of wet toilet paper in hand. “Toilet paper, Santana, really? What is your damn deal?”

“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO COME HERE?”

“Because you’re acting weird and our friends are worried about you.”

“Not the goddamn bathroom, prom. Why the fuck did you have to come to fucking prom?”

“Because Brittany asked me…”

“I JUST WANTED ONE NIGHT! JUST ONE FUCKING NIGHT!”

“Santana, calm the fuck down! You aren’t making any sense.”

Santana took a deep breath, threw the wad of toilet paper in the trash can, and said, “I just wanted one fucking night where she looks at me the way she looks at you. Prom was supposed to be just us, me and her, and I wasn’t even going to try to steal her from you. I gave up on that a while ago.”

“You’re talking about Brittany?

“Who the fuck else would I be talking about? Yes, Brittany. I’m in fucking love with her.”

“Since when?”

“Since fucking forever, I don’t know. A while, way before you came into the picture.”

“Have you told her?”

Santana shook her head. “I was too stupid and too fucking scared to admit it to myself until I saw the two of you together, and I wasn’t gonna fuck up her happiness to try to get her to be with me when I can’t even fucking admit that I’m gay because I’m fucking piss scared of what people will say about me which is clearly fucking stupid as hell because you two came out and no one says shit to you and I’m a scarier bitch than you. And while giving up the girl you love so that she can be happy is all noble and shit and I guess wins me all kinds of karma points or whatever, but it still really fucking sucks because I have to watch her be happy with you and I can’t be mad at her for being happy with someone else because I love her and all that shit and I can’t even really be mad at you because you obviously make her really happy and besides which you’re kinda fucking awesome in your own right, so where the fuck does that leave me? Alone and pining after the only girl I give a shit about.”

“I think we both know that’s not true… or is everything that’s been going on between you and Rachel just been an effort to make Brittany jealous?” Santana cast her eyes to the floor and didn’t answer. “Because if it is,” Tina continued, “I have to tell you it’s not working. She’s absolutely overjoyed at the thought of her two best friends getting together.”

“Berry’s…”

“She’s back to ‘Berry’ already?”

“Fucking whatever! Rachel, then. Rachel’s different, okay?”

“What does that mean?”

“It… fuuuuck. It means what it fucking means, okay? It means she has potential but I’m not remotely ready to even think about dealing with the mountain of shit that would come with being with her. I mean, I literally just admitted that I’m gay for the first time just now. I’m not even close to being ready to deal with Miss Matching Relationship Calendars yet.”

“Fair enough,” Tina said. “So here’s what we’re going to do. You’re gonna get your shit together, you’re gonna go back out there, you’re gonna enjoy some punch, you’re gonna dance with Rachel and smile at Miss Potential while you do. You can dance with Brittany, if you want.”

“Seriously? I tell you I’m in love with your girlfriend and you’re response is that I can dance with her?”

“Yeah, you said you weren’t going to try to steal her from me.”

“And that’s good enough for you?”

“Yeah,” Tina said without hesitation, “You’re a lot of things, Santana, but you’re not a liar.”

“Fucking right I’m not.”

“Listen, there’s one thing, though. Brittany’s going to ask about what we talked about in here and I won’t lie to her, definitely not about this. I can have her talk to you if you want but either you tell her or I will.”

Santana nodded, “I’ll muster some guts and tell her in a few minutes.”

The girls made their way out of the bathroom and a crowd of girls began pushing and shoving to get in behind them. They spotted Brittany and Rachel on the dance floor dancing together oddly. They were slow dancing together to an upbeat song and Rachel’s head was resting on Brittany’s shoulder. They made their way over to the punch bowl and took a plastic cup each. Tina took a long drink. Santana took a sip, looked at the glass, took another sip, spit it back in the cup, then looked over at Coach Sylvester, “Coach!”

Sue made her way over to the refreshment table, “What’s up, S?”

“The punch is spiked, Coach,” she replied. Tina looked back to Brittany and Rachel realizing the truth of the situation.

Sue took one drink of the punch and agreed with her head Cheerio, “I have no idea how this happened. I stood right there all night. S, help me dump it.”

“Okay, Coach. T, are you okay? How many did you drink?”

“I dunno, three or four. I don’t feel drunk.”

“Okay, well, go get our girls and I’ll meet you at the truck,” Santana said

Five minutes later, Santana came walking out to the truck to find Tina and Brittany attached at the mouth again, and Rachel propped against the side of the vehicle. Santana pushed the button on her remote keyless entry to unlock the doors. “Alright, bitches! Mount up! And no screwing in my backseat you two.”

*

At 9:30 the next morning the sound of Rachel singing “Don’t Rain on My Parade” awoke Tina. It was her cell phone. She retrieved the phone and answered it, “Rachel, I love you dearly, but it’s 9:30 am on a Sunday, the day after Prom and I’m hung over, someone better be dead or dying or else I’m hanging up and turning my phone off.”

Rachel’s voice came over the phone as a whisper, “Does the death of my virginity count?”

“What?” Tina said incredulously, “Rachel, what are you talking about?”

Rachel clarified, “I think I had sex with Santana last night?”


	29. The Morning After

               “Okay, Rach, I’m reasonably certain that you said what I think you just said but can you, just for my sake, repeat it for me please?” Tina said sitting up in Brittany’s bed, wincing at the sunlight.

               “Tina!” Rachel hissed quietly.

               “Rachel,” Tina said, digging through her bag for the pajamas that she’d packed but never gotten around to putting on last night, “can you recognize that I’m stalling here, trying to organize my thoughts in the wake of a massive headache for your benefit?  Just say it again, please.”

               “Very well, I think I had sexual intercourse with Santana Lopez last night after we left Prom,” Rachel whispered.

               “Don’t say ‘sexual intercourse’ just say ‘sex.’ No big words this morning. Also, Santana sleeps like the dead, you don’t have to whisper. Which reminds me, I need to leave the room so I don’t wake up Brittany, hold on,” Tina finished dressing herself and quietly let herself out of the bedroom into the bathroom down the hall, “okay, there. Now present your case.”

               “Excuse me?” Rachel said.

               “You said you think you had sex with Santana. That assumes that you don’t _remember_ having sex with Santana, or you’d have just said ‘I had sex with Santana’ so let’s hear your evidence.”

               “A reasonable request, I suppose. I woke up with her in my bed, or rather I woke up in the guest room in bed with her spooning me. Also she has at least two instances of what I am certain is my lipstick on her neck.”

               “Cuddling and intimate kisses are a far cry from sex,” Tina countered.

               “I see your point and add the following: I have fuzzy recollections of being touched intimately and I am also without pants. Pants that Santana is currently wearing, I find.”

               “Okay, the pants thing is slightly damning. The fuzzy recollections could easily be a dream. Okay, I’ve been trying to come up with a polite way of saying this but it’s too early and I’m too hung over, so here it goes: If Santana popped your cherry, there’s gonna be blood in the bed. Just look for it.”

               “I tore my hymen when I was twelve. I was in ballet class…”

               “It’s too early from an excerpt for the Rachel Berry Autobiography, honey. You’re left with only one way knowing for sure, asking her. I don’t recommend waking her up or even trying, so here’s what you do: take some aspirin, drink a glass of water, and go back to sleep. I’ll call you when I wake up for real. When San wakes up, tell her that me and Britt want to have a _late_ lunch so that, say it just like this, I, Tina, want to give her a chance to do what we talked about in the bathroom last night. And no, I won’t explain what that means, it’s private, and then we can inquire what happened last night.”

               “Very well, do I go to my bed or the guest bed?”

               “I lost track. Go to the bed that Santana’s in.”

               “Might I enquire why?” Rachel asked.

               “Because she’s trying, Rach, she’s trying to be less of a bitch. Assume for the moment that you two didn’t hook up last night. That means that you went to her to cuddle. She didn’t say yes for her benefit, Santana’s not a cuddler. So she did it to make you happy and if you bail on her suddenly, she’ll probably be pissed and The Santana Self-Improvement Express will probably run off the rails and we may never get her back.”

               “And if Santana and I did have sex?”

               Tina shrugged, “Then, at least she stayed, which I’m given to understand isn’t really the norm for her, so it has to mean something. Just go back to sleep, Rachel. If you’re as hung over as I am, and you have to be because you were _a lot_ more drunk than I was, then you have to be tired.”

               “I shall, one more question. What if she asks about last night?”

               “Be vague. Say you had a good time, but that you could do with less alcohol in the future. Something like that.”

“Thank you for listening. I’ll see you later. Love you, T.”

               “You better,” Tina said, “Love you, too.” She walked back into Brittany’s bedroom to find Brittany stirring in bed.

               “Who were you talking to?” she inquired.

               “Explain later. Sleep now,” Tina mumbled.

               “Naked now,” Brittany replied. “I want my naked cuddle time.”

               “Well, who could say no to a request like that?” Tina questioned as she quickly shed her pajamas again and climbing into bed.

               “Look at all those sexy scratches on you, Boo. You totally look like you had sexy times with a wild animal.”

               “It was definitely wild, Baby.”

*

               After she hung up her phone, Rachel walked across the hall into the bathroom. She found a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of water sitting on the sink next to an open tube of toothpaste. Having no clue as to whether she’d used it last night or not, Rachel took a few minutes to brush her teeth. Under normal circumstances of course, Rachel knew she would never leave the cap off of the toothpaste, but clearly she had been heavily intoxicated last night, though she wasn’t sure how that had come about. After making up for potential neglect of good oral hygiene, Rachel took two of the aspirin and downed it with a drink of the water which wasn’t even remotely cold and had, in fact, already been opened. After drinking out of what was clearly someone else’s water bottle, Rachel seriously considered brushing her teeth again, but settled for rinsing with mouth wash.

               She walked back into the guest room quietly but as it turned out she needn’t have worried when Santana turned her head to look at her, “You alright, Superstar? You get sick again?” Rachel just shook her head and contemplated the implication of the question. “It’s early yet, you still hung over?” Rachel nodded, she really didn’t know what to say or do. She had a plan of how to handle the day’s events and Santana being awake already was not a part of that. “You take some aspirin? Drink some water?” Rachel nodded once more. “Want to go back to sleep for a while?” Rachel smiled and nodded again, _this_ was part of the plan. Santana nodded her head to indicate the empty space next to her in the bed. Rachel climbed up next to Santana whom Rachel just happened to notice had an extreme case of bed-head which Rachel couldn’t help but find endearing. For some reason Rachel had always had the notion that Santana was somehow able to roll out of bed looking flawlessly beautiful. The idea that she too had to spend large portions of her morning forcing her hair to behave somehow made her feel more accessible as a person.

               Rachel lay down on her side facing away from Santana suddenly uncertain of the protocol for being spooned. Her only previous occasion with being held in her sleep was with Brittany who had practically pounced on her and left no doubt in the matter. After only a moment, Santana snaked her left arm between Rachel and the bed and dragged her up against herself, wrapping her arm across Rachel’s stomach. Santana pulled a blanket up over them and then rested her right hand on Rachel’s hip on top of the blanket. When she’d been cuddled by Brittany she’d felt an overwhelming emotional warmth. This time she felt that as well, but much more prominently she felt something she’d never felt before outside of her fathers. She felt safe, like she was under Santana’s protection and no one messed with Santana.

               Rachel covered Santana’s left arm with her right and pulled herself tight the other girl’s embrace. She shut her eyes and readied herself to drift back off to sleep. A moment later she said, “Santana?”

               “Hmmm?” Santana said.

               “Thank you for staying with me,” Rachel said quietly.

               “Eres bienvenida, Estrella,” Santana said softly that Rachel almost didn’t hear.

*

               Shortly after noon, Tina awoke for the second time, this time feeling much better this time. She still had a bit of a headache and her legs were still sore, but she thought that was more likely from all the dancing than the alcohol. She turned her head to look at the beautiful blonde laying next to her apparently still asleep. From their relative positions Tina found herself with an eyeful of Brittany’s perfect right breast, naked and beautiful. Thinking of no good reason not to, Tina shifted forward to wrap her mouth around the already hard nipple. Brittany inhaled sharply and exhaled a sigh of contentment. She brought her right hand up to the back of Tina’s head to press her tighter against herself. “This is like totally the best way ever to wake up, T.”

               “Thought you might like it,” Tina responded.

               “Shhh! Less talking, more licking,” Brittany said raising her other hand to tease her left nipple. Tina’s right hand went to Brittany’s abs instinctively at this point. She traced the contours of the blonde’s stomach muscles absently and Brittany sighed again. “I think when we’re older and we have like our own place, we should so have naked cuddle time like every night so we can always wake up with morning sexy times.”

Tina let go of the nipple and began trailing down Brittany’s stomach. “I gotta say I love that idea,” she said in between kisses, “especially right now.” Tina began tracing the outline of Brittany’s abdominals with the tip of her tongue. “Have a mentioned how absolutely sexy your abs are?”

“Only like all the time, but like I totally said yesterday I work super hard to keep them looking that way so it’s way awesome that they turn you on so much,” Brittany said, meanwhile Tina continued her decent towards Brittany throbbing core, “it kinda makes the work outs easier cuz I’m like totally doing it for you.” Tina brushed her fingers gently over the folds of Brittany’s core. “Boo, no fingers, okay? You gave me like five orgasms last night, I’m way tender today. Just kisses and licking, okay?”

“I like a challenge,” Tina said as she ran her tongue beside Brittany’s sex sending a full body shiver through her. Tina took hold of her girlfriend’s hips to try to hold her still, not that she was anywhere near as strong as Brittany or had any prayer of actually holding her still. She moved to mirror her actions on the other side for Brittany, and just as she did, Rachel started singing “Don’t Rain on My Parade” again. “Can you shut that off? I’m not going to be able to concentrate on this with her voice in my head. Just press the ignore button.” Brittany grabbed the phone and went to do as instructed just as Tina ran her tongue up the length of Brittany’s slit. Brittany’s body convulsed just as she tapped the screen.

“A think I accidentally answered it,” Brittany said.

“Then hang up,” Tina replied before latching onto Brittany’s clit and sucked hard.

Brittany rather loudly moaned and said, “That would be totally rude. Hello?” she said into the phone.

“Brittany?” Rachel said, “Is… can I talk to Tina?”

“Tina’s busy giving me sexy times, what…oh…what’s up?”

“Oh my! I can call back later,” Rachel said sounding very flustered.

“Or you can… oh, yeah, just like that… just tell me what’s up?” Brittany replied breathily.

“We were going to have lunch, our foursome… that is to say, the four of us,” Rachel quickly corrected.

Brittany laughed at Rachel’s slip of the tongue and then moaned at Tina’s. “Lunch, T?”

“Late lunch,” she said, never stopping her attention to Brittany’s center.

“T says it’s gonna be a late lunch. She neeeeeeeeeds about a half an hour to finish what she’s do... do… doing, then getting dressed and meeting you. Give us like an hour.”

“Shower,” Tina said into Brittany’s core.

“Right, we totally need a shower. Bet… omigod, omigod Boo. Hour and a half, textwheretomeetbyeeeeeee!”

Rachel hung up and stared at her phone utterly mortified at what had just happened. “I think I may be scared for life,” she said looking at Santana sitting next to her on the couch at Santana’s house. Santana gave her a puzzled look but said nothing. “Brittany answered the phone because Tina wasn’t able to at the time.”

“So?”

“Tina wasn’t able to answer the phone because she was busy having sexual intercourse with Brittany.” Santana gave her an incredulous look. “What?”

“And you didn’t mess with them or talk dirty to them or anything?”

“To my best friend’s girlfriend?”

“She answered the phone during sex. There are no rules in that scenario.”

“So what is this thing that you were supposed to do last night?” Rachel said changing the subject.

“Wait and see,” Santana said simply.

Ninety minutes later the four of them were gathered around a table in a café waiting on their food. Tina was sitting quietly listening to Santana explain herself to Brittany in a considerably more calm manner than she’d explained it to Tina. Rachel, thoroughly unaware of any of this, sat stunned silent. Brittany was likewise stunned, “So you’re… in love with me?”

“Yeah, honey, I am,” Santana said.

“But we’re still like besties, right?”

“God I hope so. Look, Britt I didn’t tell you this to try to change anything between us. I love having you as my best friend. I also didn’t tell you this because I want to try to like bust you guys up. You and T are great together. I’d have kept all this to myself and dealt with on my own but I was being all stupid and jealous last night and accidentally told Tina and she wasn’t gonna keep it from you, so she gave me the chance to tell you first.”

“I kinda feel super bad for you, San,” Brittany said.

“Don’t. I had years and years to man up and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t deal with the things people would say. She manned up. She’s the better woman. She deserves you. How did you do that, by the way?”

Tina just shrugged and pointed a finger at herself and said, “Asian Goth Girl, remember? Everybody already talked about me, so becoming Asian Goth Gay Girl wasn’t that big a deal to me. I mean, that’s not to say I wasn’t concerned about things, but that was pretty far down the list.”

Brittany looked at Tina, “We need to find someone for Sannie like we did for RaeRae except, y’know less sucky since Matty totally choked.”

“I don’t know, Britt. I think she may have found someone else on her own. Right, San?”

“I do just the fuck fine on my own,” Santana replied not really seeing where Tina was going.

“I don’t just mean for sexy times, San,” Brittany said. “I mean someone you can love, so that you just have to be sad or mad all the time cuz you can’t be with me.”

“I think she may have already done that, Britt,” Tina said looking Santana in the eyes.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Santana challenged, she looked at Rachel and with anger ratcheting up in her voice said, “What the fuck is she talking about?”

“Why are you looking at me? Why are you yelling at me?” Rachel said defensively.

“Because this whole lunch thing was planned without anyone ever calling me, so that means that they knew I was with you. That means one of the four people that knew I was there, you, your dads, or my dad, called them to tell them I was at your house and somehow I doubt it was any of our fathers. When you got up this morning, you called Tina, didn’t you? What the fuck did you tell them about last night?”

“I may have told her that there was a possibility that you and I had engaged in a drunken bout of sexual intercourse that I had no memories of…”

“YOU WHAT?”

“Santana keep your voice down. You know as well as I that we were in bed together this morning.”

“So we were in fucking bed together, so what? That means that I have no fucking morals whatsoever? We were both fucking dressed!”

“In point of fact, Santana, I was _half_ dressed. I had no pants on. Pants that you were wearing, I might add. On top of that, my lipstick was smeared on your neck, so forgive me for…”

“For what? _You_ kissed _me_ and I fucking let you because fuck me for feeling a little fucking lonely last night, and maybe I _accidentally_ tagged second helping you get ready for bed and I borrowed your fucking clothes because I was too tired to drive all the way home, and now for all my good deeds you’re sitting here accusing me of fucking rape.” All three other girls’ jaws dropped at the word, “As though I could do that… to _you_ , of all fucking people!”

“I never accused you of…”

“You said you think I fucked you while you were too fucking drunk to say no. That’s the goddamn definition of date rape, Rachel!”

“Fine, I didn’t mean… I suppose I’ll have to take your word for what happened…”

“Forced to take my word? Because my fucking word isn’t good enough? I’m a rapist and fucking liar, now? Fuck you Berry!” With that Santana knocked her chair over standing up suddenly and nearly knocked over the server coming to tell them to keep it down as she stormed out of the restaurant.

“Britt, go with her,” Tina instructed quickly. Brittany quickly gave Tina a peck on the cheek and then was hot on Santana’s tail. “I can’t believe you, Rachel.”

“Me?”

“Okay, she’s blowing things out proportion with the whole ‘date rape’ thing and I don’t know what’s up with that, but you just called her a liar to her face after she spent the whole night taking care of you.”

“Taking…” Rachel began.

“She figured out the punch bowl was spiked,” Tina explained “she got us out of there so that nothing happened to us, and evidentially she stayed with you all night to make sure you were okay and apparently did a great job of it since you were up and around and feeling much better than me or Britt even though you were far more drunk than we were.”

“Poop,” Rachel said softly.

“Yeah, ‘poop’ is right. I swear to God, Rachel, I don’t know how but you’re going to make this right, and I don’t think your famous cookies are gonna cut it this time.”


	30. Dates and Lists

               The cookies didn’t work, nor did Rachel’s profuse apology, although Maria Lopez had greatly enjoyed the cookies. Rachel hadn’t necessarily expected either of them to work, but it was part of a process, the process of wearing Santana’s walls back down. The next step would be in Glee Club on Tuesday.

               “Fellow Glee Clubbers, some of you know and others of you do not that Santana and I have become friends, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that we had become friends, at least for my part, until Sunday afternoon when I, in what I can only describe as an idiot spell born of confusion and fear of the unknown, made several disparaging remarks against her character, things that I knew deep down not to be true even as I said them. I should never have said them and for hurting you, Santana, I am eternally remorseful. I am very sorry to have impugned your honor. And while I know that a song can hardly make up for what I’ve done to you, I hope you take the sentiment to heart and consider forgiving me. Also, to all of you more generally, it is exceedingly hard to find a song that expresses deep regret to a friend rather than to a lover, which Santana and I are not, so focus on the sentiment of the song rather than the particulars.”

Oh I had a lot to say  
Was thinking on my time away  
I miss you and things weren't the same  
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.  
  
I'm sorry I’m bad, I’m sorry I'm blue  
I'm sorry about all the things i said to you  
And i know i can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds  
And baby the way you make my world go 'round  
And i just wanted to say I’m sorry.   
  
This time I think I’m to blame  
It's harder to get through the days  
We get older and blame turns to shame  
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.  
  
I'm sorry I’m bad, I’m sorry I’m blue  
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds  
And baby the way you make my world go 'round  
And I just wanted to say I’m sorry.   
  
Every single day I think about how we came all this way  
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried  
It's never too late to make it right  
Oh yeah Sorry!  
  
I'm sorry I’m bad, I’m sorry I’m blue  
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds  
And baby the way you make my world go 'round  
And I just wanted to say I’m sorry.   
I'm sorry baby.  
I'm sorry baby.  
I'm sorry.

               As soon as Rachel was done, Santana stood up from her seat and marched out of the choir room without so much as a word and a blank expression on her face. Rachel looked at Mr. Schuester who waved a hand at her indicating that she could follow her. Rachel was out the door and chasing after Santana in an instant. This wasn’t how her plan was supposed to play out. She knew that Santana wouldn’t just immediately forgive her, but she never thought it would cause Santana to flee the room. Santana was making haste for God knows where, but Rachel was keeping up with her well. Santana turned a corner, and when Rachel turned it to follow, she came nose to nose with the fuming woman. “Why are you following me?”

               “Because, Santana, I wish to speak with you and understand what I…”

“What about me leaving the classroom makes you think I want to talk to you?”

“Santana, I know that you are upset, understandably so. I shouldn’t have called you a liar and I never meant to imply that you…”

“Stop the fuck talking, Berry. I accept your fucking apology, okay? Is that what you want to hear? You’re forgiven. Can you leave me the fuck alone now?”

“Are we to go back to being friends in the near future?” Rachel asked.

“You just can’t stop pushing can you?” Santana groaned in frustration. “We’re not fucking friends, okay? I'm friends with Brittany and Tina. You’re friends with Brittany and Tina, but you and I are not friends. I tried Rachel. I fucking tried being friends you and you burned me. I don’t open up to people, it’s not who I am, it’s not what I do, but I opened up to you and you kicked me in the balls.”

Rachel wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. She didn’t recall any time the Latina had opened up to her, but she figured that Santana trying to bring her into her circle of friends was the opening up she was talking about. “I'm sorry for that, and I wish…”

“And I already accepted your apology, and I know in Berry-world that means that we forgive and forget and give each other a second chance, but in Santana-land we don’t do that shit. I don’t get hurt a second time. You blew it, you’re fucked, we’re done. Go back to Glee and sing your little song with Matt and have a great fucking life. I'm out and don’t you dare follow me again.” Santana spun on her heel and resumed marching off down the hall.

“Are you quitting?” Rachel called from where she stood.

Santana stopped dead in her tracks and huffed in frustration. “I told you at Sectionals that Glee is the best part of my day. I wasn’t lying then _either_. I just can’t be there right now because I can’t watch you moon over me and spend all your time trying to fix a relationship that’s damaged beyond repair. Go back to class, and make them start working on a set list for Nationals. I’ll be back in a couple of days when you’ve got too much to focus on to get all up my ass anymore. I mean it, too, Berry. No more cookies, no more songs, don’t send me a fucking candy-gram, nothing, ya dig?”

“Yes,” was all Rachel said. Santana was deadly serious and Rachel understood this perfectly well. The plan was officially out the window, along with any other plan that she might develop. If Tina wanted this situation fixed, Rachel was certain that she wasn’t going to be the one to fix it. Santana left to go wherever she was going and Rachel went back to the choir room.

When she made it back, Matt and Artie were setting up for their performance. During rehearsal for his and Rachel’s song at Spring Showcase, Matt had expressed a great deal of reservation about singing, or rather rapping, in front of people so Rachel had suggested he warm up with a performance in Glee Club. One phone call to Artie later and they had a plan. “You guys all know the backing vocals on this,” Artie said, “and if you don’t you’ll pick them up pretty quick, so we’re relying on you guys for them. Ready, Matt?”

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

 _Artie took lead on the first verse, subbing for Andre 3000_ :

One, two, one, two, three, yeah!  
In-slum-national, underground,  
Thunder pounds when I stomp the ground.  
Like a million elephants or silverback orangutans,  
You can't stop a train.  
Who want some? Don't come unprepared.  
I'll be there, but, when I leave there,  
Better be a household name.  
Weatherman telling us it ain't gon' rain.  
So now we sitting in a drop-top, soaking wet  
In a silk suit trying not to sweat.  
Hit somersaults without the net,  
But this'll be the year that we won't forget.  
1-9-9-9, anno domini.  
Anything goes; be what you wanna be,  
'Long as you know consequences are given for living.  
The fence is too high to jump in jail.  
Too low to dig, I might just touch Hell. Hot!  
Get a life, now they on sale.  
Then I might cast you a spell.  
Look at what came in the mail,  
A scale and some Arm & Hammer,  
Soul gold grill and a baby mamma,  
Black Cadillac and a pack of Pampers,  
Stack of questions with no answers,  
Cure for cancer, cure for AIDS.  
Make a brotha wanna stay on tour for days.  
Get back home, things are wrong.  
Well, not really, it was bad all along  
'Fore you left, adds up to a ball of power.  
Thoughts at a thousand miles per hour.  
Hello, ghetto, let your brain breathe.  
Believe there's always more. Ow!  
  
 _As prompted the group sang back-up in the chorus_

Don't pull the thing out unless you plan to bang.  
(Bombs over Baghdad.)  
Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something.  
(Bombs over Baghdad.)  
Don't pull the thing out unless you plan to bang.  
(Bombs over Baghdad.)  
Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something.  
(Bombs over Baghdad.)  
  
 _Then came the moment of truth, Matt Rutherford’s first solo performance in Glee Club, subbing for Big Boi, he didn’t miss a beat:_

Uno, dos, tres, it's on.  
Did you ever think a pimp rock a microphone  
Like that there boy and will still stay street?  
Big things happen every time we meet  
Like a track team, crack fiend, dying to geek.  
OutKast bumping up and down the street,  
Slam back Cadillac 'bout five brothas deep.  
Seventy-five MCs free-styling to the beat  
'Cause we get drunk, stay drunk at the club.  
Should've bought an ounce, but you caught the dub.  
Should've held back, but you throwed the punch.  
Supposed to meet your girl, but you packed a lunch.  
No D to the U to the G for you.  
Got a son on the way by the name of Bamboo.  
Got a little, baby girl, four year, Jordan.  
Never turn my back on my kids for them.  
Should've hit it, quit it, rag top.  
Before you read up, get a laptop.  
Make a business for yourself, boy. Set some goals.  
Make a fat diamond out of dusty coals.  
Record number four, but we on a roll.  
Hold up, slow up, stop, control.  
Like Janet, planets, Stankonia's on ya.  
Moving like Floyd, coming straight for Florida.  
Lock all your windows and block the quarters.  
Pulling off my belt 'cause a whipping's in order.  
Like a three-piece fist 'fore I cut your daughter.  
Yo quiero Taco Bell, then I hit the border.  
Penny pap rapper trying to get to five.  
I'm a microphone fiend trying to stay alive.  
When you come to ATL, boy, you better not hide  
'Cause the Dungeon Family gon' ride. Ha!  
  
Don't pull the thing out unless you plan to bang.  
(Bombs over Baghdad.)  
Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something.  
(Bombs over Baghdad.)  
Don't pull the thing out unless you plan to bang.  
(Bombs over Baghdad.)  
Don't even bang unless you plan to hit something.  
(Bombs over Baghdad, yeah.  
Bombs over Baghdad, yeah.  
Bombs over Baghdad, yeah.  
Bombs over Baghdad, yeah.  
Bombs over Baghdad, yeah.)

               When they finished Matt was smiling at himself. He’d pulled it off and done a damn good job of it, he knew. If he could do half as well at the Showcase, maybe, just maybe he could get over his painful shyness and get his girl. Rachel came up to him with a very big smile on her face, “That was an excellent performance of an extremely difficult song, Matt. I, for one, feel the utmost confidence in our forthcoming performance at Spring Showcase.”

               “Thanks, Rachel,” Matt replied, “That means a lot, especially coming from you. I'm sorry I choked on our date last week. I'm just…”

               “Extremely shy?”

               “Well yeah, kinda,” he said with a smile, “Tina said that I’d get over it, and she clearly has but I don’t know how she did it.”

               “She started dating an extreme extrovert, and dressed like a vampire at school,” Rachel informed him.

               “Well, I’d be down for the first part,” Matt said. “I was gonna wait until after the Showcase to ask you out again, but I'm feeling good about myself and my ability to maintain a conversation now. What are you doing tonight?”

               “Tonight,” Rachel began, “I have a dance class and dinner plans with my fathers whom I would not subject you to at this stage in your confidence building as they can be quite intimidating when they mean to. Tomorrow night I was supposed to be going out with Brittany, Tina, and Santana, but Santana has made it perfectly clear that she wants nothing to do with me, so I believe that Brittany and Tina would be perfectly content spend that time together alone, especially if it facilitates you and I going out which they have gone to some effort to arrange, so I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you would like to take me out tomorrow night instead, I would be delighted.”

               He smiled and said, “Great. I’ll come up with a plan and text you the details.”

               “Guys, can we all take out seats? We need to talk about Nationals,” Mr. Schuester called over the crowd.

               “I can’t wait,” Rachel said to Matt before turning her attention to Mr. Schuester, “I am in complete agreement with you, Mr. Shue. Do we know the set-up yet?”

               He nodded, “I was e-mailed over the weekend. All teams will do an initial three song set. The top ten teams will go onto the Showcase and perform two more songs, so we have just over five weeks to come up with and practice five songs. Now, at Regionals we did what we felt we had to do to place to keep the club alive for another year and that meant leaving the bulk of you out of two of the three songs. I don’t want to do that this time. This is Nationals and I want to feature everyone, so for the first round here’s what we’re going to do, boys song, girls song, group song,” he ticked off on his fingers as he spoke. “Now obviously Matt has displayed rapping skills that no one knew he had. Does anyone else have anything that we haven’t used yet? Anyone got an ace in the hole?”

               Brittany spoke up first, “Mr. Shue, Tina can totally play the violin like super great.”

               “Oh God,” Tina reacted.

               Before she could protest any further Quinn was up out of her seat, iPod in hand, saying, “I’ve got the girls’ song.” She plugged into the docking station and cued up her song and without even a second to warm up began singing.

Go on go on

Leave me breathless

Come on

 

Hey... yeah...

 

The daylight's fading slowly

The time with you is standing still

I'm waiting for you only

The slightest touch and I feel weak

I cannot lie, from you I cannot hide

And I'm losing the will to try

Can't hide it, can't fight it

 

So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless

Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny

This loving feeling (loving feeling, _Rachel and Tina jumped in on backing vocals_ )

Make me long for your kiss

Go on (go on), go on (go on)

Yeah...

Come on

Yeah...

 

And if there's no tomorrow

And all we have is here and now

I'm happy just to have you

You're all the love I need somehow

It's like a dream

Although I'm not asleep

And I never want to wake up

Don't lose it (don't lose it), don't leave it (don't leave it)

 

So go on, go on, come on, leave me breathless

Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny

This loving feeling (loving feeling)

Make me long for your kiss

Go on (go on), go on (go on)

Yeah...

Come on

 

Yeah-ie, yeah, yeah-ie, yeah...

 

And I can't lie

From you I cannot hide

And I've lost my will to try

Can't hide it (can't hide it), can't fight it, (can't fight it)

 

So go on, (go on) go on, (go on), come on, leave me breathless

Tempt me, tease me, until I can't deny

This loving feeling (loving feeling) Make me long for your kiss

 

Go on, (go on) go on, (go on) come on, leave... me breathless

Go on, (go on) go on, (go on) come on, leave... me breathless

Go on, (go on) go on, (go on) come on, leave... me breathless

Go on... go on!

               “Quinn,” said Mr. Schuester, “I think you just won yourself lead on that song at Nationals. Tina can you play the violin part in ‘Breathless?’”

               “I…” Tina stalled, she hadn’t actually agreed to play her violin in the competition at all but it was for the good of the team. She’d just never played the instrument in front of an audience and now suddenly she was going to do it at Nationals. _Where the hell was Santana to push me when I need it? Ah, hell with it, there’s nothing overly tricky to that song._ “Yeah, I can do it.”

               “Great!” he said. “Then I’d like to stick to that sort of optimistic, upbeat, up tempo style of song. There’s a song called ‘Believe’ by Yellowcard that I think would be well received as the group number.” _Yellowcard? Another violin song?_

               And again before Tina could protest, Puck spoke up, “And the guys can do ‘Devil Went Down to Georgia.’”

               “Okay, woah!” Tina interrupted at last, “First of all, I'm not a guy and won’t be performing during the guys’ song. Secondly, Sharon Corr I can keep up with, that Sean dude from Yellowcard, with practice, probably. Charlie Daniels? Forget it. He’s been doing that song twice as long as we’ve been alive, and I’ve barely touched my violin in over a year.”

               “Showcase, then,” Puck challenged. “C’mon, think about it, Princess. We’d be doing ‘Devil Went Down to Georgia’ _in Atlanta_. It would freaking kill!”

               Tina pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. _Damn him for being right._ “Okay, Puck, it’s your idea so we, you and I, can try the song and see if I think I can do it any sort of justice, because it will only kill if done _right_. And whatever other song we theoretically do for Showcase will _not_ feature me on violin because three songs is going to be pushing it. Also, ‘Believe’ has a strong guitar part so maybe you guys can pick a song with a guitar part so that either Artie or Puck can play that and we can play guitar and violin on ‘Believe’ so may this doesn’t seem quite so much like a gimmick.”

               The final bell rang. “Congratulations, guys,” said Mr. Schuester said, “I think you guys have a good start on our set list for Nationals. Keep thinking on the other two songs and I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”


	31. Spring Showcase

               If any of the girls had held on to hope that Santana and Rachel could work out their issues, it was squashed by the extreme cold shoulder the Latina gave to the diva after their confrontation in the hallway. Rachel had prepared herself for the return of the hurtful nicknames and the constant barrage of insults to her and her wardrobe. It never came. Instead, Santana never spoke to her at all, never even looked in Rachel’s direction if she could avoid it. Santana’s indifference was almost more painful to Rachel than her anger would have been. Tina and Brittany had both individually approached Santana to try to talk about the situation but all Santana would say on the subject of Rachel was, “It’s done,” and then she’d fall silent. Brittany was convinced that it had something to do with whatever had happened between them on Prom Night, but since Rachel couldn’t remember and Santana wouldn’t talk about it, they couldn’t be sure and they certainly couldn’t work on it.

               The next week and a half passed in a blur, especially for Tina. She’d dusted off her violin and played for the first time in almost a year. She played the part from “Breathless” pretty easily. Tina had liked The Corrs when she was learning to play, so naturally she’d learned some of their songs. The Yellowcard song was a little trickier, if only because it was very up tempo, but Tina had mastered it before long. Charlie Daniels still intimidated the crap out of her. If all of that wasn’t enough, she was in heavy rehearsal for the TLC Tribute performance at Spring Showcase. On top of all that, she had best friend duties to listen to and critique Matt and Rachel’s performance.

               Matt and Rachel’s second date had gone considerably better than their first, which had led to a third which had also gone well, which had led them to have plans for a fourth. Rachel seemed happy and Matt was obviously over the moon. He had big plans for the night after Showcase, big plans that included asking Rachel to officially be his girlfriend.

               But before all that came The Spring Showcase. This was only their second performance for the general public of Lima after Invitationals at The April Rhodes Civil Auditorium, and while it wasn’t a competition, in a way it actually was. All of the various groups within New Directions were competing to be the best of the night, which was an odd place for Artie since he’d technically be competing against himself.

               Pulling the first lot of the night was the team of Artie and Quinn. They took to the stage in costumes straight out of the music video for their song. Artie was in black pants, a white wife beater with a black vest over it, an untied bow tie around his neck, and baseball cap on sideways. He’d even managed to find a fake platinum tooth. Aside from being white and in a wheelchair he was the spitting image of Nelly. Quinn was dressed in black Capri-length leggings and had layered, colored tank tops, and black sandals with her hair pulled back off her neck. Her resemblance to Fergie wasn’t as complete but still impressive nonetheless.  The music cued them and they started. “Party People” by Nelly featuring Fergie was their song of choice and they rocked it. The fact that Artie could rap well enough to hold his own with Nelly surprised exactly no one. The fact that Quinn had flow enough to keep up with not only Fergie but also with Artie surprised more or less everyone. Backstage there was whooping and back clapping. Artie had no time to bask however as he had a costume change.

As the music changed, Matt made his way to the curtain in full Method Man gear, beanie hat, oversized coat, over sized jeans, and pair of Timberlands boots. Everyone heard her voice but no one saw Rachel as she began to sing much more soulfully than they’d ever heard her before, “You’re all, I need, to get by, ahhh. You’re all, I need, to get by, ahhh.” Everyone looked to the stage and there was Rachel Barbara Berry in hip hop clothes. Matt hit his mark and then they were off.

 **[Matt]** Shorty I'm there for you anytime you need me

For real girl, it's me in your world, believe me

Nuttin make a man feel better than a woman

Queen with a crown that be down for whatever

There are few things that's forever, my lady

We can make war or make babies

Back when I was nothin

You made a brother feel like he was somethin

That's why I'm with you to this day boo no frontin

Even when the skies were gray

You would rub me on my back and say 'Baby it'll be okay'

Now that's real to a brother like me baby

Never ever give my lovin away and keep it locked up tight

And I'ma walk these dogs so we can live

In a fabulous crib with thousands of kids

Word life you don't need a ring to be my wife

Just be there for me and I'ma make sure we

Be livin in the effin lap of luxury

I'm realizing that you didn't have to funk wit me

But you did, now I'm going all out kid

And I got mad love to give, you my baby

 

 **[Rachel]** You’re all, I need, to get by, ahhh.

You’re all, I need, to get by, ahhh.

 

 **[Rachel]** Like sweet morning dew

I took one look at you

And it was plain to see

You were my destiny

With you I'll spend my time

I'll dedicate my life

I'll sacrifice for you

Dedicate my life for you

 

 **[Matt]** I got a love jones for your body and your skin tone

Five minutes alone I'm already on the bone

Plus I love the fact you got a mind of your own

No need to shop around you got the good stuff at home

Even if I'm locked up North you in the world

Wrapped in three-fourths of cloth never showin your stuff off, boo

It be true me for you that's how it is

I be your Noah, you be my Wiz

I'm your Mister, you my Mrs. with hugs and kisses

Valentine cards and birthday wishes? Please

Be on another level of planning, of understanding

The bond between man and woman, and child

The highest elevation, cuz we above

All that romance crap, just show your love

 

 **[Rachel]** You’re all, I need, to get by, ahhh.

You’re all, I need, to get by, ahhh.

You’re all, I need, to get by, ahhh.

You’re all, I need, to get by, ahhh.

 

               They had killed it. After the initial shock of the way she was dressed had worn off, everyone was impressed with Rachel’s turn as Mary J. Blige. Matt’s turn at rapping now had him challenging Artie for the title of best rapper in Glee Club. The only person not smiling and congratulating them was Santana who had dumped the cold shoulder in favor of the boiling anger. She shoved past the beaming duo and said, “Watch out, Manhands! That’s our cue, bitches!” The girls made their way out to the stage to horn fanfare that led off their song. Santana, Brittany, and Tina were wearing white t-shirts with the letters T, L, and C, respectively, silver sequin pants and black boots.

 **[Brittany]** I was like peace in a groove

On a Sunday afternoon

You were there so was I

In the park 4th of July

I was chillin' with my Kool-Aid

When Miss Tana came to relay

That you had a thang for me

Finest thang you'd ever seen

I must admit to you

I've heard them lines a time or two

Although for some apparent reason

Monkey lines are now in season

Lights off, lights on

I guess the groove is on so I am

 

 **[Group]** Diggin' the scene

Diggin' on you

Diggin' on me

Baby bay-ooo-baby baby

It's on like that

It's on like that

I gotta be in love or somethin' like that

 

 **[Brittany]** I was like deep in a cool

What'nt gone be nobody's fool

Could not care less who was there

Could've been like anywhere

I was chillin' with my Kool-Aid

Did not want to par-ti-ci-pate

In no silly conversations

Had no time for new relation-ships

I must admit to you

When I heard the lines you threw

Although it usually turns me off

But this time you have turned me on

Lights off, lights on

I guess the groove is on and I am

 

 **[Group]** Diggin' the scene

Diggin' on you

Diggin' on me

Baby bay-ooo-baby baby

It's on like that

It's on like that

I gotta be in love or somethin' like that

 

The music suddenly shifted and the girls pulled on their breakaway pants, yanking them off and flinging them aside, then pulling the t-shirts over their heads. Underneath they wore near perfect replicas of the costumes worn by TLC in one of their most famous videos. They started into an elaborate choreography routine that they’d been working on for over a month.

 **[Santana]** A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly

And is also known as a buster

Always talkin' about what he wants

And just sits on his broke ass

So (no)

 

I don't want your number (no)

I don't want to give you mine and (no)

I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)

I don't want none of your time and (no)

 

 **[Group]** I don't want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

Hanging out the passenger side

Of his best friend's ride

Trying to holler at me

I don't want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

Hanging out the passenger side

Of his best friend's ride

Trying to holler at me

 

 **[Santana]** But a scrub is checkin' me

But his game is kinda weak

And I know that he cannot approach me

Cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's lookin' like trash

Can't get wit' no deadbeat ass

So (no)

 

I don't want your number (no)

I don't want to give you mine and (no)

I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)

I don't want none of your time (no)

 

 **[Group]** I don't want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

Hanging out the passenger side

Of his best friend's ride

Trying to holler at me

I don't want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

Hanging out the passenger side

Of his best friend's ride

Trying to holler at me

**[Santana]** If you don't have a car and you're walking

Oh yes son I'm talking to you

If you live at home wit' your momma

Oh yes son I'm talking to you (baby)

If you have a shorty but you don't show love

Oh yes son I'm talking to you

Wanna get with me with no money

Oh no I don't want no (oh)

 

No scrub

No scrub (no no)

No scrub (no no no no no)

No scrub (no no)

No

 

 **[Group]** I don't want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

Hanging out the passenger side

Of his best friend's ride

Trying to holler at me

I don't want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

Hanging out the passenger side

Of his best friend's ride

Trying to holler at me

 

               When the girls exited the stage, the crowd was electrified, the girls were ecstatic, jumping up and down hugging each other. Angry Santana was gone a replaced by someone else, a person that someone who didn’t know Santana better might call Joyful Santana. Brittany hugged Mike. Tina hugged Rachel. Santana hugged Mercedes, which freaked Mercedes out. Brittany hugged Matt and Tina hugged Kurt. Still overjoyed and not thinking about anything Santana then hugged Rachel who was shocked but certainly not upset. When Santana finally became aware of her situation, she quickly let Rachel go, pulling apart forcefully. Santana tried to first look angry at her and when that failed she tried to go back to indifferent, and that wouldn’t work either. “Sorry, sorry,” she said, adding, “About, y’know, the Manhands thing.” Rachel could only smile at the first non-hateful words her friend had said to her in almost two weeks.

In the midst of this, Artie, Mike, and Finn made their way onto the stage to begin their performance of “Yeah!” by Usher, Lil John and Ludacris, respectively. Artie’s rendition of Usher demonstrated that there is apparently no hip-hop/R&B star that he cannot imitate perfectly. Mike supplied Lil Jon with the pimp cup in hand. Finn, as Ludacris, neglected to keep his verse PG-13 and drew some gasps from the audience and glare from Mr. Schuester afterwards.

Next up, Puck fulfilled a dream of his and stood not on stage, but in the middle of the audience with an electric guitar and absolutely killed a rendition of The Foo Fighters’ “Everlong” encouraging the audience to clap and sing along. It was one of those magical music moments and he was now poised to steal the whole show.

For weeks beforehand, Mercedes and Kurt had argued that they each deserved the grand finale spot. Mr. Schuester had each of them sing their songs for him privately and even he couldn’t decide as both songs were amazing. Ultimately, it came down to the flip of a coin and Mercedes lost, so she followed Puck with her cover of Nina Simone’s version of “I Put a Spell on You” and if there was any house left to tear down after Puck, then Mercedes tore it down.

Then, for the finale, came Kurt who walked out on stage dressed impeccably in a style all his own. He sat down at the grand piano on stage and began to play… and play… and play, without singing a single word for over four minutes. A couple of people recognized the song that had been rearranged to be played exclusively on the piano, but most didn’t. It was a longer version than most people had heard. The music as Kurt played it was beautiful and powerful and just a little bit haunting. As the melody built to crescendo, memories began to creep into the back of Rachel’s mind that she was still struggling to access. Then, finally, Kurt sang, “How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me. It's like a book elegantly bound but, in a language that you can't read….”

Then suddenly, Rachel was awash in memories and struggling to maintain control of her emotions. The tiny diva surveyed the area and made a b-line for Santana still standing with her TLC-mates, still smiling about their performance. When Rachel got to her, she said, “You sang to me.”

Santana looked at her rather confused. “Berry, I sang ‘No Scrubs’ so if you think that was about you then you maybe have some self-esteem issues you need to work on.”

“I don’t mean tonight,” Rachel replied. “I mean… Come with me.” Rachel seized her left forearm and began forcibly dragging Santana after her until they found their way into one of the dressing rooms.

“Jesus Christ, Berry! Did you get bit by a fucking radioactive spider or some shit? When the hell did you get this strong?”

“Never mind that,” Rachel barked. “I remember, Santana.”

Santana was still puzzled by the sudden surge of strength and not paying much attention so she absently repeated, “Remember?”

“I remember Prom Night,” Rachel clarified.

“Yeah, right!” Santana said trying to sound incredulous but came off slightly more concerned, “Your tiny ass was fucking hammered on Prom Night. You’d do well to even remember there was a prom.”

“I remember that there was a prom. You wore yellow. Brittany wore blue. Tina wore platinum. I drank too much, sang with the band, Cobra Starship and Fall Out Boy, you took us home and we dropped Tina and Brittany off first because they were on the verge of exhibitionism in the back seat despite neither of us particularly wanting to be voyeurs.”

“No _fucking_ way!”

“And then, you called Tina’s mother…”


	32. Existentialism on Prom Night

               “Mrs. C? It’s  Santana Lopez. Tina’s fine. The punch bowl at prom got spiked and she’s a little bit drunk, nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix. Brittany, on the other hand, is hammered and likely praying to the porcelain god right about now, so Tina’s with her and if experience tells me anything, she’ll probably be with her all night. What? Oh, her phone’s dead. Yeah, I’m sure she just needs to sleep it off. You’re welcome. Bye,” Santana hung up her phone and stared straight ahead.

               “Thasso sweet o Tina. Shees an amazink person,” Rachel slurred from the passenger seat.

               “Yeah, too bad it’s all a load of bullshit, Berry. I dropped them off first because I was pretty sure we were moments away from getting a full on girl-on-girl show in the back seat and after the fucking night I’ve had, the last goddamn thing I need is to see your bestie knuckles deep in mine,” Santana said bitterly.

               “S’no need to be vulgar, Ssstana.”

               “Yeah, well… doesn’t mean it’s not fun,” she replied weakly. Rachel slumped her head against the headrest and appeared to drift off to sleep. Santana sighed to herself and said, “Crashing prom was suppose to be fun,” She’d meant it to be angry but it came out wistful instead. “This encounter is going to be great. The evil bitch cheerleader brings the superstar daughter home drunk. I’ll be lucky to come out alive. I hope you appreciate what I’m about to walk into for you, Berry.”

               Santana turned into the driveway of the Berry residence. The porch light was on, as was one in the window by the front door. “Looks like one or more of your dads are waiting on you, princess. No sneaking in for us. I’d say you owe me for this, but… well, you don’t.” Santana exited the car and made her way around to the passenger side. After opening the door, she stooped to drape one of Rachel’s arms around her and caught a whiff of Rachel’s perfume. “You smell nice, Berry, under all the booze that is.”

               “Thanks, Ssstana,” Rachel mumbled.

               “Oh, you’re awake? Maybe? A tiny bit? Good, I need you to walk with me. It’s gonna make this a whole lot easier, at least physically,” Rachel didn’t answer but pulled against Santana’s neck helping Santana drag her out of the car. Santana pulled Rachel hip-to-hip against herself, holding her there with her left hand on Rachel’s left hip. Her right hand held Rachel’s right hand draped over her shoulder. “Okay, Superstar, we’re walking now. Right foot, good. Now let’s try for the left. Good. Now when we get there, do _not_ try to explain this, Talky McGee. Just leave it to me. Your dad or dads can be as mad at me as they want I really don’t care. You ready for this, because I’m pretty sure I’m not?” As they made it to the door, it opened before Santana could knock. In the door stood a very large, very intimidating black man, easily 6’4” 250, all muscle.

               “What happened?” he asked very calmly, so calmly, in fact that I was unnerving.

               “We went to the prom at McKinley tonight…” Santana began.

               “And a party after?” he asked, still calmly.

               “No,” Santana replied shaking her head, “someone spiked the punchbowl. I don’t think she had that much but I guess the fact that she never drank before and she’s so tiny…” Santana was lying but hoped that he didn’t know that. Rachel had held her liquor pretty well for a newbie at the club a couple weeks back, but she was pretty sure that they had sobered her up before returning her home. She had no idea how much Rachel had drank but it had to have been a lot.

He nodded seeing where she was going with the explanation, seemingly accepting it. He stepped aside and gestured for her to come in. “Need me to take her?”

“Nah,” replied Santana, “She’s carrying most of her weight on her own and I think your height difference would just be a detriment at the moment. Just point me to her bedroom.”

“Daddy?” Rachel mumbled, not even opening her eyes.

“Baby girl?” he responded.

“Ssstanatacareome.”

He looked at Santana, “Did you catch that?”

“Sounded like ‘Santana take care of me’ or something to that effect. I would be Santana, by the way. Santana Lopez, I’m sure my terrible reputation precedes me.” She released Rachel’s right hand from hers to extend it to Rachel’s father.

“Snot terrible,” mumbled Rachel.

He took her hand and shook it briefly, “Leroy Berry, and my daughter’s right, we know about the problems you two have had but we also know that those problems seem to have become a thing of the past for whatever reason. Rachel’s room is up the stairs to the right. I’m sure you’ll figure out which door. I’ll grab the aspirin and some water. Help her get changed, please.”

“Will do,” she said to Leroy before turning her attention back to his daughter, “Okay, Berry, I know you’re half awake, so I need you to help me with these stairs, okay. Right foot on the first step, okay? Good. Left foot up.”

“S’like dancing,” Rachel said and smiled, eyes still closed.

“Just like dancing, Superstar. Now looks like we only have another fifteen steps to go. Ready to try the next one?”

“Game on!” Rachel suddenly shouted, then instantly regretted doing so, bringing her free left hand up to her head. “Oh God,” she moaned.

“You better warn me if you’re gonna puke,” Santana said flatly. “I paid good money for this dress, it’s not gonna end up in the trash because you can’t hold your liquor.”

“M’okay,” she slurred.

With a little bit of patience and they made it to the top of the stairs. A quick glance to the right and Santana knew what Rachel’s dad meant by being able to figure out which room was hers, the one adorned with a rather large gold star with the name Rachel Berry written in black, block letters. “Should have known.” She maneuvered both of them to the door, opened it, and ushered them both inside. “Looks just like I pictured.” Santana pulled Rachel’s desk chair back from the desk with one foot, spun the seat around, and deposited Rachel in it. “No falling asleep, Berry. I’ve gotta get you changed yet, not to mention get some aspirin and water in you so your hangover doesn’t completely destroy you, and all of that is gonna be a hundred times harder and more awkward if you aren’t awake.” Santana started opening and closing dresser drawers in search of pajamas quickly coming upon them in the bottom drawer of Rachel’s dresser. The top set was pink with gold stars. Santana grabbed them, “Is everything gold stars with you?”

“S’my think,” Rachel murmured in reply.

Leroy knocked gently on the open bedroom door and walked in. He wordlessly set a bottle of aspirin and two bottles of water on Rachel’s desk.

“Hey, Daddy,” Rachel said with something approaching a smile on her face.

“Hey, Baby Girl. Can you take some aspirin for me?”

“Won’t help your headache if I take em,” she slurred.

He smiled at her and offered her two little white pills, “No, but it’ll help the one you’re gonna have tomorrow.”

She grabbed the offered pills saying, “Okay, Daddy.”

“And drink this whole bottle of water before you fall asleep,” he said to Rachel. “There’s one for you, too, Santana, in case you need. I mean, you don’t look to have been drinking…”

“No,” she said, “I had one sip of the punch before I figured out what was going on. By then Tina and Brittany and The Superstar, here, were already unfit to drive, so I pretty much became the DD by default.”

“They waiting on you? Tina and Brittany? Cuz I can get Rachel ready for bed if you need to…”

“Britt and Tina are nauseatingly affectionate when they’re sober, drunk they are fifty times worse, so they got dropped off first, and not for nothing Mr. Berry…”

“Leroy,” he interjected.

“Leroy, I can assure you the last thing any 16 year old girl wants is her father changing her clothes for her. I’m gonna do my best to be a hands-off coach in this scenario. I’ll get personally involved if needs must, and it’ll just be something we never talk about again. If you do it she’ll be completely mortified in the morning.”

“Fair enough,” he said, “I’ll be downstairs if either of you need anything.”

“Cool beans,” Santana said.

Leroy left the room and started down the stairs. Santana brought the pajamas over to Rachel and said, “Alright Berry, let’s get you changed and into bed so you can start sleeping it off. You think you can change yourself?”

“Kin try,” Rachel said forcing herself up to her feet, hands firmly planted on the desk. She turned her back to Santana and said, “Unzip me?”

Santana did as asked. Rachel pulled the single strap of the dress off her shoulder. The dress quickly pooled around her waist, leaving her topless save for a sheer black strapless bra. _She’s drunk and her father is right downstairs, stop thinking what you’re thinking, Santana._ She handed Rachel her pajama top and said, “Do me a favor. Put this on before you take anything else off.”

Rachel did as asked. After the pajama top was secured in place, she fumbled with trying to unfasten her bra before giving up and saying, “Can’t…bra.” Santana sighed audibly but reached up to help, first trying to undo it from over her shirt but the material was just too thick. She reached under and quickly unfastened the undergarment, but just as she was moving to pull it off, Rachel turned sharply to the right. _Yep, that’s a handful of Rachel’s tit. Just let go and pull your hand out of her shirt._ When she did, Rachel moaned unconsciously.

“Sorry,” Santana said without elaborating.

“S’okay.”

“Can you get your dress off the rest of the way?” Santana asked hopefully.

Rachel quickly shook her head, “Dizzy.”

“Of course, because God hates me,” Santana said as she reached up to the other girl’s waist to start working the tight dress down over her hips.

“S’terrible thing to say,” Rachel said and she slowly rocked her hips from side to side to facilitate the dress’s removal. All at once, Rachel’s dizziness got to be too much for her and she bent at the waist to rest her head on the desk, meanwhile Santana had just managed to get the dress down over Rachel’s hips and butt, so that when Rachel bent over she pushed her nearly bare ass into Santana’s crotch still rocking her hips unconsciously. _Fuck my life._

“Berry, stop it or I won’t be held responsible for what I do to you!” Santana said quietly but emphatically.

Rachel moaned and said laughingly, “Sounds sexy.”

“Oh my God, fucking stop it. Put your damn pants on so I can put you to bed.”

“Mmm, no pants. Hot.”

“Fine by me, give me your hands and I’ll help you to bed.” Rachel complied, and Santana, walking backwards, guided Rachel to her bed. Santana pulled back Rachel’s comforter and blankets knocking throw pillows and stuffed animals to the floor in the process.

“Ssstana, you hurt Archimedes.”

“Archimedes, really? You named your stuffed owl after the greatest mathematician of all time?”

“No, silly, after the owl in _The Sword and the Stone,_ ” Rachel replied and she climbed into the bed and lay down.

Santana stooped to retrieve Archimedes, handing him to Rachel when she stood back up, who cuddled the stuffed bird next to her closely. “You said you were hot so I’ll let you situate the blankets to your liking. Get some sleep, Superstar. I’ll call and check on you tomorrow, not too early, I promise.”

“Night, Ssstana.”

“Night, Berry,” Santana replied. She pulled the door closed behind her and sighed in relief. Suddenly Santana felt a lot more tired than she had even the moment before. It was only then that she had felt the full weight of the evening she had endured. She made her way quickly down the stairs, stumbling down the last four. She managed to remain upright but she slammed into the wall at the bottom of the stairs pretty hard.

“Santana,” said Leroy, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she replied while yawning deeply.

“Yeah, you’re fine, alright,” he replied sarcastically, “You’re completely exhausted. How far away do you live?”

“Kingswood,” she answered with a sigh.

“So all the way on the other side of town? Yeah, you’re staying here tonight.”

“I’ll be f…” Santana tried to protest but she was cut off by another yawn out of her own mouth.

“Yep, you’ll be fine,” he finished for her, “just as soon as you go back upstairs, borrow some of Rachel pajamas, and get at least a few hours sleep in our lovely guest bedroom. It’s nice, you’ll like it. We just re-did it.” Santana did as instructed grabbing the pants from the pink-with-gold-stars set that Rachel was wearing the top of and the first tank top she could find. Hastily she changed clothes and fell asleep moments after her head hit the pillow.

She was shocked awake some indeterminate amount of time later by the unmistakable sound of someone throwing up. She jumped out of bed and opened the door to the guest bedroom. Directly across the hall was the bathroom, door standing open. Rachel was knelt over the toilet. Santana walked to her wordlessly pulling her hair back and then rubbing her back comfortingly. Rachel retched again and Santana said, “Get it all out, Superstar.”

Shortly, Leroy appeared in the doorway bearing the aspirin bottle and more water. He set both on the sink and pulled open a drawer. He reached in, quickly retrieved an elastic hair band, and handed it to Santana. She took it and tired Rachel’s hair back loosely.

“Santana, I can do this if you want to go back to bed,” Leroy said, smiling, “This is pretty well above and beyond what’s expected of a prom date.”

She just shook her head, “I’m awake. I won’t go back to sleep while I know she’s in here. I can do it. My dad’s in recovery so I know what I’m doing,” Leroy gave her a quizzical look. “I owe her this much at least, a lot more to be honest with you, but this at least.”

“Okay,” he said at length, “We’re just at the end of the hall if either of you need anything. Also, I called your dad, so he knows where you are.”

“You know my dad?” she asked.

“Yeah, from the hospital. I’m a doctor too,” he looked at Rachel and said, “Feel better, baby girl.” Rachel mumbled something in response but it wasn’t intelligible to anyone. He called back as he was leaving the room, “Love you, sweetie.”

Santana took one bottle of water, twisted the top off, and handed it to Rachel. “Swish and spit, Superstar. You need to get the taste of it out of your mouth.” Rachel did as instructed and Santana flushed the toilet afterwards.

Rachel stared at the swirling water as it ran out and said ruefully, “It all goes down there eventually, one way or the other.”

“Oh, drunken existentialism,” Santana said with a hint of amusement.

Rachel sniggered and added, “…on prom night.”

“You’re not going to ‘sing like no one’s listening’ are you?”

Rachel finally sat back from the toilet leaning against the nearby wall and asked, “You know Straylight Run? I’m aghast. I’m…”

“Pfft,” Santana interrupted, “Drake is one thing, but the queen of Barbara and show tunes is referencing emo indie rock. I’m the one that’s ‘suddenly overcome with shock’, which is the definition of aghast you better have meant, rather than the ‘fear and horror’ alternative.” Rachel said nothing. “Give your stomach a minute to see if it’s settled and then we’ll feed you more aspirin and get you back to bed.” Rachel nodded weakly and Santana settled into the floor against the tub perpendicular to Rachel. “Okay, for as much as I complain about you talking non-stop in Glee Club, you _not_ talking is really freaking me the hell out. What’s with the melancholy?”

“Don’t want to be alone,” Rachel said, not looking up.

“You’re not alone, Rachel. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, Santana, it’s not exactly what I meant.”

“What did you mean?”

“I mean that I believe that I am fully over Finn, at long last, there was never really anything to get over with Noah, and if I ever see Jesse again, I would be more likely to bludgeon him with something than to kiss him, so where does that leave me? Alone. My best and only real friend has recently begun carnal relations with her girlfriend, a sexual dynamo to hear tales of it, whom she is madly in love with, which consumes nearly all of her free time. Again, where does that leave me? All the more alone for how happy Tina is. I had hoped that our evening’s excursion to the prom and my foray into rule breaking since we as sophomores weren’t suppose to be there might broaden my hopes. Instead I wind up deeply intoxicated and spending the better part of the evening dancing with said best friend’s girlfriend while you and Tina have some manor of confrontation in the washroom. And then this, existential whining in the bathroom with a girl who is only here because she suddenly feels guilty about treating me so poorly for years.” By the end of her rant, Rachel was in tears and didn’t even bother trying to conceal the fact. It was a sight that Santana had never seen, despite having tormented her existence for years Rachel had never cried in front of Santana nor had she ever even looked like she was going to. The Latina suspected that terribly few people had seen Rachel as she was now.

“Hey, hey, hey. No, come here,” Santana hooked her arm around Rachel’s elbow and pulled the smaller girl to her. She situated herself so that Rachel was sitting in between her legs, Rachel’s back to her. Santana pulled Rachel back against her chest and wrapped her arms around Rachel’s neck, hands resting on her shoulders. It was a far more intimate position than Santana was strictly comfortable with, but the situation demanded it. “Listen to me, Rachel. This, tonight, isn’t about guilt. I don’t fucking do guilt, okay? I mean, I know I’m Catholic and guilt is as much my birthright as these sexy Latin hips,” Rachel chuckled at this, “but I don’t do guilt. I mean, we made our peace and I’ve said I’m sorry and you accepted my apology, and that was it for me. After that, I gave all that crap up to Jesus. Life’s too short and shit, okay?”

“Then why are you here?” Rachel asked.

“Loyalty.”

“Loyalty? For what?”

“For what? Rachel you fucking saved my life.”

“When? Why don’t I recall this?”

“Maybe that’s because despite the return of your vocabulary and your ability to complete sentences, you’re still _very_ drunk, or y’know maybe, possibly because I never told you. It was that day in the office with Shue and your mom and Figgins. Shelby and Shue I could deal with, no worries, but Figgins was itching to expel me, and I know me, left in that office long enough, I’d have said something or done something to give him a reason and he’d have bounced my ass out. And I mean, sure we could have and probably would have got the decision overturned with the school board, but it still would have been on my record. With an expulsion on my record, good luck getting into any college worth half a damn. So what happens then? I go to some community college and get a degree in ‘it doesn’t fucking matter because it’s a degree from a fucking community college’ and I end up back at McKinley as Sylvester’s fucking assistant or something equally depressing and then a couple years down the line Puck knocks me up and does by me about like he did by Quinn, and then I’m a fucking statistic ‘Latina single mother, dead end job, growing old and fat and dying within fifty miles of the place I was born’ and fuck that! I’d rather die now than do that, like seriously. Then your tiny ass comes along, and even though I’d spent years giving you every fucking reason not to, you storm in there like fucking Beowulf into the den of Grendel’s Mother, telling off everyone in the damn room, including your own mother, and you were all ‘Fuck you and fuck your couch, Figgins!’ and you pulled my ass out of the fire big time, and I kinda love you for that.”

“Thank you, Santana. As I said at that time, it’s something I would have done for anyone…”

“But you did it for me and you did it when you would have been perfectly justified in not doing it. That’s putting your neck out for someone and there’s not a lot of people in this world that do that kinda shit and fewer still that would do it for me. Shit like that means something to me, and I know I’m being a complete chickenshit because I’m sure I’m only saying this because I know how drunk you are and that you’ll never remember this tomorrow, but I do, I love you to fucking death, little girl. That’s not an ‘I’m in love with you’ just an ‘I love you’ okay? But that’s pretty fucking huge from me. I don’t say that shit. And I probably won’t be able to say it to you when you aren’t drunk but that won’t make it not true. So Tina may be your best friend, but she’s not the only one. I’m your friend too, and if anyone at fucking McKinley has a problem with that, they can all gladly go to Hell.”

“You love me?” Rachel asked.

“I’m not _in love_ with you, Superstar,” Santana replied.

“But you love me.”

“Yes.”

“’So, sing me something soft, sad and delicate or loud and out of key. Sing me anything.’” Rachel sang. Santana chuckled at the call back to the beginning of the conversation. Then Rachel spoke again, “Will you?”

“What?” Santana asked.

“Sing me a song, please? I very much love your sexy, raspy voice.”

“Thanks, but here? In the bathroom floor?”

“There’s a stage down in the basement if you prefer,” Rachel offered.

“There is not a fucking stage in your basement, Rachel. Tell me you’re kidding.”

“I am not.”

“Why am I surprised at this? Why?”

“It’s soundproof and everything, we wouldn’t have to worry about waking up my daddies.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to have to drag you down two flights of stairs to sing you one song and then have to drag you back up two flights of stairs to put you back to bed. Here in the floor is fine on second thought.”

“Very well, what are you going to sing me?”

Santana leaned the pair of them forward and retrieved the aspirin and water bottle from the sink and handed both to Rachel who wordlessly accepted them. Santana then said, “Well, since the themes of the night have been dying alone, my recently developed devotion to you, as a friend, and indie rock music, I think I have the perfect song. I don’t know how it’s going to sound acapella, but here goes.”

Love of mine  
Someday you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark  
No blinding light  
Or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark  
  
If heaven and hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
And illuminate the "No"s  
On their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
  
In Catholic school  
As vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised  
By a lady in black  
And I held my tongue  
As she told me, "Son  
Fear is the heart of love"  
So I never went back  
  
If heaven and hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
And illuminate the "No"s  
On their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
  
You and me  
Have seen everything to see  
From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes  
Are all worn down  
The time for sleep is now  
But it's nothing to cry about  
Because we'll hold each other soon  
In the blackest of rooms  
  
If heaven and hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
And illuminate the "No"s  
On their vacancy signs  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
Then I'll follow you into the dark

               As Santana sang the song she wiped the tears from Rachel’s eyes, tears that had begun to come from a decidedly happier source. At one point during the song Rachel stretched up and kissed Santana on the neck just below the jaw which caught Santana off guard but she didn’t let it show. When she finished singing, Rachel repeated the gesture again, “Thank you, Santana. That was incredibly beautiful. I’m sorry for kissing you on the neck, I was aiming for your cheek on both occasions, but unfortunately our height disparity is exacerbated by our current seating arrangement. I fear it came across a great deal more intimate than I’d intended.”

               “Yeah, no worries, Superstar. I’m not in love with you, but I gots your back from now on, okay?

               “Okay.”

               “Now can we brush your teeth and get you back to bed? I’m tired and this tile floor is starting to hurt my ass.”

               “If you will agree to come sleep in my bed so that we might continue this cuddling scenario that I am greatly enjoying.”

               “In your bed? Not a chance. One of your dads will come in and check on you and it’ll look to the entire world like I crept into your bed in the night and took advantage of you. No, if you want more of my cuddles you’ll be retiring to the guest room with me.”

               “I hardly think the location of cuddles makes a difference,” Rachel began to protest.

               “It makes a difference, now take it or leave it.”

               “Very well, I accept your proposal. However, I will need one thing from my room. Would you please go retrieve it while I brush my teeth?”

               “Archimedes?”

               “Thank you.”

*****

               Rachel awoke with a start and realized very quickly two things, her head was pounding and she was half dressed and being spooned by Santana Lopez….apparently in the guest room in her own house. _Oh my God! I got drunk at prom and had sex with Santana! Wait, did I? What am I talking about, she’s wearing the pajama pants than match the top I’m wearing, and she has my lipstick on her neck. Of course we did. Where’s my phone? I have to call Tina…_


	33. Where Do We Stand

               Santana listened to Rachel recount the events of Prom Night in alarmingly precise detail considering up until now she hadn’t remembered the evening at all. She’d never felt so emotionally exposed in her life, which also meant that she never been so scared and thus prone to lashing out in all her life. She fought hard to maintain her composure and just sit silently.

               Rachel reached over and tried to take Santana’s hand but it was clenched into a fist so she settled for resting her hand on Santana’s wrist and quietly said, “Santana.” The Latina snapped out of her thousand yard stare and looked at her. “I am profusely sorry for hurting you.”

               “You already apologized,” Santana choked out, trying to remain calm.

               “Yes, but prior to this revelation, I did not understand the full depth of my offense to you. You willfully stripped yourself of your emotional defenses which could not have been easy for you and laid your emotions bare, which is something that you _never_ do, and you did all this to comfort me in my time of need. I think the situation in the morning, when I came back to bed with you, made it worse. I think you hoped and perhaps you allowed yourself to believe that I’d remembered, if not the actual content of the evening, at least the sentiment.” Santana dropped her gaze and appeared to be fighting back tears. “I repaid your kindness by calling you a liar and thinking that you took advantage of me sexually, and for that I am deeply sorry. I had no right to question your word. Since we’ve been friends you have never been anything but honest with me, brutally so at times. I was thoroughly out of line. As for my assumption about our copulating, you used the term ‘date rape.’ I want you to understand that I never meant that and never meant to imply that you’d raped me. I'm sorry that I didn’t make that more clear.”

               “How could…” Santana started to yell but stopped to calm herself. “What other way is there to see it? I don’t understand what other interpretation of ‘sober person fucks drunken person’ that doesn’t add up to date rape. I mean you’re not stupid, Berry.”

               “Firstly, you’re correct, I am not stupid. However, I was, at the time, ignorant of a key fact: I didn’t know that you were sober. I had assumed that your staying at my house was due to our arriving at my house intoxicated and my fathers’ forcing you to sleep it off and that I’d crawled into your bed in the middle of the night. Daddy disabused me of that assumption later. Secondly, the word and the concept of rape never occurred to me because… because I never thought of myself as unwilling.”

               Santana looked at Rachel for the first time in confusion, “What?”

               “Santana,” Rachel slipped a hand into Santana’s suddenly unclenched hand, “what I am about to say I have never said to anyone besides my fathers. I say that so you understand that _I_ am now opening up to _you_.”

               “You’re gay?” Santana guessed, hope obvious in her voice.

               “Bisexual, actually,” Rachel clarified, “I _was_ genuinely attracted to Finn, Noah, and Jesse, but I'm also attracted to girls as well.”

               “Including me?”

               “You were the first actually,” Rachel said softly. Santana looked inquisitively at her. “When we first met, in sixth grade, I still remember it pretty vividly. It was I think the second or third day of class and you came in wearing a black skirt and a white tank top. You were smiling about something. I thought you were breathtaking.”

               “Sixth grade?” Santana looked confused again, “I barely even had tits then.”

               “Santana, your physical form, while extremely alluring, is far from your only positive attribute. You’re were and are very beautiful. You’re smart even though you never let on to that fact. You’re unflinchingly loyal to and fiercely protective of those you care about. You also have a beautiful singing voice, although I didn’t learn that until much more recently. All very attractive qualities, at least to me.”

               Santana actually blushed at Rachel’s praise. “So 11 year old Rachel had a crush on me? You haven’t been like pining for five years have you?”

               “Certainly not!” Rachel said rather emphatically. “My initial crush didn’t last very long. After all, you…” she trailed off.

               “I was a rampaging bitch to you?”

               “Well… more or less, yes, but it was enough to make me realize that I am, at times, drawn to women.”

               “I'm _only_ drawn to women,” Santana said softly, almost as thought she wanted not to be heard.

               “You what?” Rachel asked. “Seriously?”

               “Big shocker, right?” Santana said. “The school slut is a big lesbo.”

               “Santana, I believe I assaulted Finn for using such a vile word about you. I don’t know why you think you are allowed to use it even to describe yourself. You were going through something that can be very difficult.”

               “Fucking difficult is right. I'm… I'm still not a hundred percent okay with it, yet,” Santana shook her head as she spoke. “And I think maybe I should clarify something. I know I kinda denied being in love with you a lot that night, but this isn’t a case of ‘the lady doth protest too much’ okay? I'm not.”

               “I know you’re not,” Rachel said.

               “You do?”

               “Yes, you’re in love with Brittany and you’re trying to get over that or move past it because she’s with Tina and you’re happy for them. I don’t think it’s possible to be in love with more than one person at a time, and right now your heart belongs to Brittany, moreover the last month notwithstanding, you and I don’t really know each other well enough to be in love with one another,” Rachel said. Santana nodded in agreement. “I do, however, believe that you have _some_ romantic feelings for me.”

               “What makes you think that?” Santana asked. She smiled slightly, not exactly denying the claim so much as making her work for it.

               “An assemblage of events and facts that individually might not mean anything, but put together make a convincing case for the argument of ‘you want a piece of this.’” Rachel stood up and continued, “Exhibit A: Over Spring Break Brittany insisted you be nice to me. You could have accomplished this by simply not talking to me for a week. Instead you took me shopping, took me to a spa, and took me to a vegan ice cream shop. It was a very lovely first date, Santana. Exhibit B: Prom Night not only did I render you speechless, but you bought me a corsage, and when I asked you to sing to me, you could have sang ‘Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star’ or pretty much anything else since you were so certain I’d never remember. Instead you sang ‘I Will Follow You Into the Dark’ which basically says ‘I’d die to keep you from being lonely’ which coincidentally your song choice is why I now recall what happened on Prom Night. For Exhibit C, I need you to stand up.” Santana complied wordlessly. “Exhibit C: I'm going to kiss you. You can easily stop me. You are taller than I am, stronger than I am, and have a longer reach than I do, any one of which could easily be used to stop me from kissing you.”

               Santana didn’t stop her, didn’t even try. Rachel kissed her and immediately and instinctively Santana wrapped her arms around Rachel, one hand grabbing the back of her neck pulling the two of them closer together. Rachel’s hands went to Santana’s hips and began to fondle tan skin over the waist of the leather pants. Each girl moaned into the other’s mouth simultaneously then both couldn’t help but laugh at the synchronicity, breaking the kiss. Rachel looked at the Latina and said, “I rest my case.”

               “Holy fuck, Berry! How the hell are you that good at that?”

               “I do nothing by half measures, Santana,” Rachel replied, “You should know this about me by now.”

               “So…” Santana said.

               “Yes?” Rachel enquired.

               “I want to do this.”

               “Want to do what?” Rachel asked confusedly.

               “This. Us. Me and you,” Santana said, waggling a finger between the two of them.

               “Really?” Rachel said excitedly.

               “Yeah, why, don’t you?”

               “Yes. I just expected it to take considerably more coaxing to get you to admit it that you wanted to date me.”

               “Nah, screw that. My stupid, bullshit insecurities made me miss my shot with Brittany. I'm not gonna make that mistake again. I mean, look. Like I said, I'm not 100% okay with being gay, and I have absolutely no idea how to be a girlfriend, but I know that’s what you want so for you I'm gonna try. That is, if you’ll have me after being a rampaging bitch to you.”

               “I will under one condition…”

               “I'm not ready to out, Rachel. I mean, after we go out a bit and see how that goes we can talk about being out to the Glee Club, but…”

               “That is not what I was going to say, Santana. Believe it or not, I'm not especially anxious to give all the students at school yet another reason to hound and torment me. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I'm bi-sexual nor of having feelings for you, but that does not mean I have to broadcast that information immediately. My condition for our officially establishing a romantic relationship is in regards to something you said Prom Night.”

               “Okay, lay it on me,” Santana said.

               “You intimated that if you’d been expelled that you would have rather died than lived the life you envisioned for yourself. Were you speaking of literally killing yourself or were you just being hyperbolic?” Santana dropped her head in response to this. “I will take that as an affirmation of the former. Do you have suicidal thoughts often?” Santana, still looking down, shook her head just slightly. “Santana, in this instance, I would greatly appreciate it if you could look at me and answer me aloud please.”

               “Fucking yes, okay, Rachel? I use to think about it a lot. What a fucking cliché I am, repressed gay teen feels alone and thinks about killing herself, but that’s the past, alright? I know I'm not alone anymore. There’s Kurt and Brit and Tina blazing the gay trail in this town, and sure they all get looks and whatever but no one fucks with them, so eventually I’ll get my shit together and get over my bullshit and then we’ll burn this fuckin city to the ground with our goddamn pride.”

               “Your determination to accept yourself is admirable, Santana, however, should the worst occur, and this would be my condition for our dating, and you find yourself thinking about suicide again, promise me that you will talk to me before you do anything drastic. Even if we don’t work out and we haven’t spoken to each other in years, I want you to promise to talk to me or to Brittany or Tina or Mr. Schuester or your mother or one of my fathers… someone. I am not emotionally equipped to deal with someone I care about committing suicide. Promise me.”

               Santana smiled at the girl’s seriousness it felt exceedingly good to know that Rachel cared so much. “I fucking promise, okay, Tiny,” Santana cupped Rachel’s face in her hands with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. “Now will you hurry up and agree to be my girlfriend so I can ask you out tomorrow so I can so I can kiss you again?”

               Now it was Rachel’s turn to smile brightly, “Yes, Santana. Yes, to the girlfriend. Yes, to the date tomorrow, and I mi…”

               Rachel’s rambling answer was cut off by Santana’s soft, full lips crashing against her own. Rachel slid her tongue through her teeth intending to deepen the kiss but it was met abruptly by Santana’s tongue. The two girls battle for dominance, neither giving an inch. When it started to look like Santana was gaining an advantage, Rachel broke off to say, “I want to tell the Glee Club,” before renewing the kiss quickly gaining the advantage to the momentarily distracted Santana.

               Santana broke off the kiss to reply, “After three dates,” before resuming, reasserting dominance.

               Now Rachel broke off to say, “Fine, but the spa and prom were the first two. Tomorrow is date number three.”

               Rachel resumed again ever more forcefully and Santana broke off. “The spa, fine. I was trying to impress your tiny ass then, but not prom. Tomorrow is date two.” Santana crashed their lips back together but this time she grabbed Rachel by the thighs and hoisted her off the ground.

               Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana’s neck and her legs around Santana’s waist. She kissed Santana back as hard as she could before breaking once again. “Prom most certainly counts. Santana, you bought me a corsage, we danced together almost exclusively, except for our friends, you held my hair and comforted me when I got sick, and cuddled me all night and most of the morning. That, of course, on top of the fact that it was _prom_. It was most certainly a date.”

               Rachel renewed the kiss yet again sliding her tongue back into Santana’s mouth with authority and taking one of Santana’s cheeks in each of her hands. Santana was formulating her response to this argument when the door to the dressing room opened abruptly and whole argument was made more or less irrelevant as the rest of the Glee Club found out about the girls for themselves. If the sight of Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry making out heavily wasn’t odd enough, the fact that they were still dressed like T-Boz and Mary J. Blige, respectively, made the sight downright unsettling. Most of them just stood with their mouths open, Tina smiled happily at her friends, Brittany squealed in excitement and clenched Tina’s hand tighter, Kurt just smirked knowingly, Finn yelled, “What the hell!” and stormed off to find a chair to victimize, poor Matt just stood there looking heartbroken, and finally after a minute Quinn cleared her throat as loudly as she could manage and succeeded in drawing the couple’s attention away from one another.

               After an awkward moment, Santana set Rachel back down on the floor, turned to the group and said, “What the fuck are you all staring at?”


	34. The Getaway

               If Brittany and Tina were that weird couple that never fought about anything, ever… and they really were… then they were the calm center at the eye of Hurricane Pezberry. Anyone hoping that those two finally admitting to having feelings for one another would calm their volatility would have been dead wrong. Rachel and Santana fought about everything, all the time. None of them were on the scale of their first fight, as they had retroactively dubbed it, but they were seemingly always at odds about something or other. Santana, a lifelong voracious carnivore, dating avowed vegan Rachel meant conflicts at virtually every meal. They were both very sure of themselves and both very determined to get their way at virtually every turn so they very often butted heads, generally leaving Brittany, the only person Santana wouldn’t snap at, to separate them and Tina, seemingly the only person that could make Rachel see reason, to play peacemaker. After only a week of them being officially together, Tina was exhausted. By the end of the second week, she was a burnt fuse, not entirely because Rachel and Santana, after all she was in heavy rehearsal for Nationals and everyone wanted to do extra sessions and of course there were finals to study for just on the heels of Nationals, but it was _mostly_ to do with their friends.

               Friday night, a week before they were to leave for Nationals found Brittany and Tina lying in bed at the Pierce House nominally watching a movie but it was near the end and neither had paid it the least bit of attention. They’d been making out pretty heavily for the first thirty minutes or so. The next thirty was pretty much Brittany kissing a very still Tina, after which Brittany had rolled over onto her side and pulled Tina into a spooning position with her. “Boo, are you getting tired of me?”

               The question hit Tina’s brain like a bolt of electricity. “Of course not,” she said insistently. “Don’t be ridiculous. I love you. Why would you even think such a thing?”

               “I love you, too,” Brittany said, “but I stopped kissing you like ten minutes ago and you totally haven’t even said anything. Usually, when I stop kissing you even for just like a second you get all growly and start pulling me back into you. It’s like I can’t even remember when it was the last time we got our mack on in my bed and we stopped before one of us had our hands in the other’s pants.”

               Tina turned over onto her back, still wrapped up in Brittany’s strong, comforting arms, looked her girl in the eyes, and said, “I'm sorry, Baby. Do you want to have sex?”

               “Not if you’re not into it,” Brittany replied.

               “I'm sorry, sweetie. You know I love our sexy times, but I think I need your amazing cuddles more right now. I'm sorry.”

               “Tina, you totally don’t have to apologize, I'm so _totally_ not mad. I'm just worried about you. Please tell me what’s going on. Is it Nationals? We let the club talk you into doing too much didn’t we? Three songs on an instrument you’ve barely touched in a year is way super too much. I'm such a dummy for even bringing up the violin. I…”

               “No!” Tina cut her off emphatically. “Nonono. Don’t say that. You are no dummy. We established on our very first date that you have a very sexy brain.” Brittany smiled brightly and leaned to rest her forehead against the side of Tina’s head. “Secondly, what is this ‘we let the club talk me into too much’ thing? I'm the one that let them convince me…”

               “But I let you let them. You’re completely my girlfriend and like I'm pretty sure that you’re my forever. It’s totally my job to take care of you, and I totally let you down, but we can still fix it. We can drop the violin part from ‘Believe’ or let the band play the part or whatever. It’s a good enough song without it. We’ll just step up the choreography…”

               “It’s not fair to make everyone else work harder learning a new routine at the last minute to help me out. Besides, I already have ‘Breathless’ and ‘Believe’ down cold, dropping them wouldn’t help. It’s ‘Devil’ that’s still got me worried, but I’ve got a week to work that out. The music isn’t really what’s bothering me, it’s…”

               “San and RaeRae,” Brittany completed the thought.

               “Y’know, I can’t help but think back to Vampire Day when we ate lunch in the auditorium and we agreed to take things slowly and I know that we haven’t really gone that slowly, by any rational standards, but we’ve pretty much always moved at a pace that I’ve been comfortable with. I suddenly feel like we’ve jumped ahead twenty years overnight and we’re now the parents of two teenage daughters… two teenage daughters that are dating each other, no less.”

               “Totally,” Brittany said, “It’s crazy stressful.”

               “Well, Baby, you have an excellent way of hiding it.”

               “Duh! Cuz if I walked around all stressed out, then you’d be even more stressed, plus San would blame you for me being stressed and then she’d be even more super cranky and they’d fight even more and the whole thing would be way worse.”

               Tina smiled at the brilliant simplicity of the statement. She reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Brittany’s ear. “You never cease to amaze me, Brittany. You know that? I don’t know how. I feel like… no, I _know_ that I know you so well, and yet you can still always surprise me. You’re possibly the most amazing person ever. I'm so incredibly lucky to have you.”

               Brittany smiled brightly, “And I'm totally lucky, too, to have someone so super awesome with words and always make me feel so super special. But, Boo, if keeping San and RaeRae in check is causing you to this stressed, then just stop. If they aren’t like happy together and just fight and fight and fight until they break-up, we can’t change that. It would be like a crazy, amazing dream we all ended up in New York together with us together and them together, but not all dreams come true, and totally I know that. Besides, I'm always gonna be friends with San and you’re probably always gonna be friends with Rachel, so they’ll be in our lives no matter what. Don’t kill yourself over _their_ relationship.”

               “It’s not just that, though. I mean, that’s part of it and that’s really good advice, but I also can’t help but wonder if this is what it’s gonna be like when we really have kids. I don’t think I can deal with this if it is, and that’s really messing with my head because I’ve always wanted kids and I know you do too, and what if I can’t deal with it and then you get upset with me about and we end up breaking up because of it because I know you really have your heart set on having kids someday…”

               “Someday, T,” Brittany interrupted, “not today, I don’t want to have a baby any time soon. We’ve got like years to get our heads where they need to be to be parents. We’ve got like two more years of high school and then college and who knows what after that. You want to travel and see the world, and that’s gonna be way easier if we do it before kids. We totally don’t have to figure out our whole lives right now, and you totally know this.”

               Realization started to sink in for Tina as soon as Brittany had started talking. “I think I'm the dummy in this relationship,” she said.

               “You’re so not,” Brittany said immediately. “You just want to make all our my dreams come true and I completely love you for that, but you sometimes forget that we’re still kinda just kids and you don’t have to make them come true all right now.”

               “Well, that’s true, the wanting all your dreams to come true part for sure. Sorry I got so caught up in my head.”

               “You so don’t have to keep apologizing,” Brittany said as she nuzzled against the side of Tina’s face. “You’re totally allowed to have freak out times and it’s my job to be here for you and keep you from flying away to crazy land. Plus in your rambling then, I totally found out that you want to make lady babies with me, and I so totally want that too, and don’t worry, our babies won’t be anything like dealing with San and RaeRae, cuz for one thing, they won’t be allowed to date each other. That’s just gross. Also, because we’ll raise them to not be all shouty and hard headed like them.” Tina smiled at this but it never really reached her eyes and Brittany noticed this, so she reached across Tina to run her hand over Tina’s far shoulder. She felt the tension in the Asian girl’s muscles instantly. “Holy Christmas, Tina, you’re so tense you’re about to explode. We _so_ have to do something about this…”

               “Baby, I'm really not in the mood...”

               “Not sexy time, T,” Brittany cut her off. “I'm gonna get us booked into that spa that San and Rae went to for this weekend. You need some like serious relaxation time or you’re totally not gonna make it to Nationals, much less live long enough for us to make cute Asian babies together.”

               “Baby, how on Earth are you going to get us booked into a spa weekend on a Friday night?” Tina asked.

               Brittany sat up and reached over to the nightstand for her phone. Tina half-growled, half-whined at the loss of physical contact until Brittany lay back down next to her, “I think maybe you’re forgetting who my step-mom is.”

               Tina looked confused for a moment, “Your… oh yeah! I guess I did,” Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. “So you’re gonna abuse Susan’s reputation to get what you want? Who are you Santana?” she asked playfully.

               “I was just gonna call her and have her do it,” Brittany said. “She loves me big time. It’s not that big a deal.”

               “Sweetie, I was just playing,” Tina clarified, “A spa weekend sounds absolutely amazing right now.”

               “Awesome. Then call and cancel whatever rehearsals you have scheduled this weekend, or better yet, let me. You need some time off and we’re totally gonna get a mud bath and a seaweed wrap, and I so don’t know what either of those are for but we’re so doing them,” she said with a smile, Tina laughed at her excitement as well, “But definitely, most importantly, you are getting a massage to get all this tension out of your shoulders and back.”

               “Couple’s massage,” Tina eked out.

               “Super great idea, that’ll be totally sexy.”

“Call Quinn, Puck, and Rachel, they’re all expecting me at various times this weekend.”

“Done,” Brittany said definitively.

*****

Three very brief, very determined phone calls later and no one heard from the girls for the rest of the weekend. Unlike the trip to Boston, they didn’t take their cell phones with them. No phones, no computers, no homework, no distractions, no stress. They only brought one bag between them with a couple of changes of clothes and a bathing suit for each girl, a pair of toothbrushes and not much else. The spa had hiking paths and bike paths and things of that nature but Brittany and Tina had no interest in them. They were doing nothing that wasn’t 100% relaxation. Brittany opted not bring any shoes, determined to remain barefoot for the weekend.

The girls arrived at their appointed time of noon on Saturday. They were shown around by a girl named Melinda who called herself the Hospitality Hostess, but was failing to live up to that name, meeting the girls’ closeness with judgmental looks. One phone call to the desk later and the girls never saw Melinda again. They grabbed lunch and were quickly on their way to have their mud baths which Brittany was very distressed to learn that they would have to be in separate tubs. She had even tried to throw Susan’s weight around but to no avail. After that and the subsequent showers, the girls got pedicures which was another new thing for Tina, though not for Brittany. Yoga class was next followed by dinner, after which the girls hit the hot tub. Being in a public place, they weren’t afforded the opportunity to recreate their one previous experience in a Jacuzzi, as much as they may have wanted to.

The next morning, breakfast was soon followed by facials and manicures. After lunch came the treatment that both girls had found themselves eagerly anticipating: the couple’s massage. A pair of Indonesian girls named Mahi and Hasika came in and explained the particulars of Balinese massage which sounded positively amazing to Tina. The masseuses stepped out and let the girls get undressed. When they returned, they found Brittany and Tina laid out on their respective tables with their hands linked together over the gap between them.

Every touch, every stroke, every knead in her back, Tina felt the weight of the world slowly dissolving. She couldn’t help but sigh in contentment every few seconds. She looked over at Brittany who was already looking back at her. Brittany squeezed her hand. Tina squeezed back. She took in the sight before her: a very beautiful, very naked Brittany covered only very slightly by a very small towel, her back and legs coated in aromatherapy oils occasionally sighing and moaning as a petite girl touched her. Tina thought it was probably the most erotic sight she’d ever seen.

After the massage, they went back to their room. They missed dinner. They made love, rather than just having sex, for hours and then fell asleep in each other’s arms and slept until almost midnight. Checkout wasn’t until morning, but they had to go to school in the morning so they quickly dressed and made their way back home. When Brittany dropped Tina at home, it was the first time in nearly 60 hours the girls had been more than arm’s length from one another and Tina missed her instantly.

That morning at school was a world of difference than it had been Friday, at least for Tina. When Santana and Rachel started in with their bickering before homeroom, Tina simply took Brittany’s hand and walked away leaving their friends stunned and confused and leaving them to work out their problems on their own, which they eventually did. The day passed in a blur after that. Lunch was pleasant for the first time in two weeks and Tina actually managed to enjoying being around Santana in their classes together since she wasn’t in a horrible mood anymore.

When Tina showed up at Brittany’s sixth period Family and Consumer Sciences class to walk with her to Glee Club, something they’d always done since Vampire Day, Brittany was nowhere to be found and Mrs. Robbins said that Brittany had finished her project early and asked to be excused early for a Glee Club project. Tina wasn’t sure what to make of this since they didn’t have any projects for Glee but she went on the choir room anyway. Brittany wasn’t there either. Tina dropped her stuff in a chair next to Rachel’s and looked at the tiny brunette and said, “Did Brittany say anything to you about a project for Glee?”

Rachel just smiled at her and said, “Just wait and see.” Slowly the class filled up. Kurt and Mercedes came in gossiping, as per usual. Finn and Artie were soon followed by Mike and the shell of Matt Rutherford. Puck came sauntering in just ahead of Quinn and Artie. Santana wandered in wearing the biggest shit-eating grin. She took a seat next to Rachel and took her hand in her own.

Mr. Schuester walked in, set his briefcase on the piano, took to the center of the room, and said, “So it’s been brought to my attention that some of you guys are doing extra rehearsals outside of class time and that’s great initiative and I think it will really pay off at Nationals, it’s also important not burn yourselves out, so today we aren’t rehearsing for Nationals. Today we’re having a little bit of fun, starting with the first solo performance from our own Brittany Pierce. Brittany!”

The band started playing a vaguely Latin beat and then Brittany made her entrance gyrating her hips, her arms snaking rhythmically in the air. Her hair was down and curled. Gone was the Cheerios uniform, in its place was a short, light brown tank top that left about four inches of her midriff showing, and pair of brownish green, low rise, vinyl pants that looked to be painted on. She was also wearing a wide black belt with hundreds of small silver medallions hanging from it, a belly dance belt. She was also sporting matching dark green nail polish her fingers and her bare feet. Tina had never found feet, anyone’s feet, to be sexy before, but now she was drooling.

For the next minute and a half Brittany danced, undulating her hips, contorting her abdominals, bending and shaking. It was yet more of what Tina always said, Brittany moving in ways that seemed to defy physics and physiology. Everyone in the room was whooping and catcalling, everyone except for Tina who was staring, open mouthed at the amazing-ness of her girlfriend. Then the music shifted, and Brittany started to sing:

_Lucky you were born that far away so_

_We could both make fun of distance_

_Lucky that I love a foreign land for_

_The lucky fact of your existence_

 

Brittany made her way over to dance and sway directly in front of Tina her hips less than a foot in front of her clearly flushed girlfriend’s face. Brittany smiled at Tina’s blush.

 

_Baby I would climb the Andes solely_

_To count the freckles on your body_

_Never could imagine there were only_

_Ten Million ways to love somebody_

_Le ro lo le lo le, Le ro lo le lo le_

_Can't you see_

_I'm at your feet_

 

Brittany dropped down to the floor as she sang this and then sprung back up and made her way back to the center of the room but maintain eye contact for the chorus.

 

_Whenever, wherever_

_We're meant to be together_

_I'll be there and you'll be near_

_And that's the deal my dear_

_Thereover, hereunder_

_You'll never have to wonder_

_We can always play by ear_

_But that's the deal my dear_

_Lucky that my lips not only mumble_

_They spill kisses like a fountain_

_Lucky that my breasts are small and humble_

_So you don't confuse them with mountains_

_Lucky I have strong legs like my mother_

_To run for cover when I need it_

_And these two eyes that for no other_

_The day you leave will cry a river_

Brittany shook and shimmied her way back to Tina through the second verse and once again knelt in front of her for the beginning of the chorus.

 

_Le ro le le lo le, Le ro le le lo le_

_At your feet_

_I'm at your feet_

Brittany stood up and turned away from Tina but backed up into her turning it into a half-belly dance, half-lap dance. Tina was now laughing hysterically and bright red in the face. She reached up and slapped Brittany on the ass, hard. Brittany jumped and turned back around.

_Whenever, wherever_

_We're meant to be together_

_I'll be there and you'll be near_

_And that's the deal my dear_

_Thereover, hereunder_

_You'll never have to wonder_

_We can always play by ear_

_But that's the deal my dear_

_Le ro le le lo le, Le ro le le lo le_

_Think out loud_

_Say it again_

_Le ro lo le lo le lo le_

_Tell me one more time_

_That you'll live_

_Lost in my eyes_

Tina smiled and nodded at the lyrical request. Brittany danced back to the middle of the room and sang the chorus once more.

_Whenever, wherever_

_We're meant to be together_

_I'll be there and you'll be near_

_And that's the deal my dear_

_Thereover, hereunder_

_You've got me head over heels_

_There's nothing left to fear_

_If you really feel the way I feel_

Brittany looked to the band, held up one finger, and mouthed ‘one more time.’ They kept playing, and Brittany sang again, this time in flawless Spanish:

 

 _Contigo, mi vida_ __  
Quiero vivir la vida  
Lo que me   
Queda de vida   
Quiero vivir contigo 

_Ya sabes, mi vida_   
_Estoy hasta_   
_El cuello por ti_   
_Si sientes algo asi_   
_Quiero que te_   
_Quedes junto a mi_

 

               When the music faded, the club was applauding and whooping and hollering, all except for Tina who flung herself from her seat towards her girlfriend enveloping her in a huge hug and crashing their lips together. Breaking apart, Tina said, “I’ve said it before, you constantly amaze me. I'm the luckiest girl it the world.”

               “Only as lucky as I am,” Brittany countered.

               “Hey, Baby, you should start rounding up everything we need for your football player/cheerleader fantasy.”

 


	35. Nationals

               “That was phenomenal girls,” Mr. Schuester called after them exiting the stage, making way for the boys. “Quinn, Tina you should be very proud of yourselves.” They were. The road to Nationals had been bumpy to say the least. Getting twelve teenagers onto a bus to take them to the airport at 6 am was trying. Cats were easier to herd than sleepy, cranky, nervous teenagers. Mr. Schuester was sure that the two hour bus trip to Columbus and the airport was going to put him in an early grave. An argument erupted between Finn and Santana that he thought was going to come to blows. Finn was still having trouble accepting that Rachel was with Santana. The confrontation had nearly come to blows before Mr. Schuester had to finally intervene.

Airport security was an event. Brittany had brought a bottle of shampoo. Having only ever flown privately on Susan’s plane, she didn’t know that you couldn’t bring liquids on a commercial flight. When she got pulled aside and searched she’d started to cry, thinking she’d done something wrong or that they suspected her of being a terrorist. Tina, instinctively, tried to go to her to comfort her and she was restrained by security. Santina reared her head and got an attitude with and yelled at the security people before she realized what she was doing and apologized. After a few minutes of Mr. Schuester and Miss Pillsbury’s apologetic explanation of the two girls’ very close, very protective relationship, they were allowed to proceed. Meanwhile, Puck got randomly selected to be searched which he’d called racial profiling due to his being Jewish. He likewise got an attitude with the security people before Rachel managed to calm him down, rightly pointing out that she hadn’t been searched while also being very clearly Jewish.

Fortunately, Mr. Schuester had anticipated such incidents and they had all arrived three hours before their departure time, leaving them plenty of time to make their flight. After they were in the air, Rachel and Santana got into yet another fight about… something. Not wanting them to get in trouble Tina quickly walked up the four rows to where the bickering couple sat. “Rachel,” she said interrupting their squabbles, “go sit with Brittany, please.” When the tiny diva didn’t move she added, “Now!” She unbuckled her seatbelt and stormed off in a huff only to be yanked into Tina’s seat by Brittany. Tina then took Rachel’s seat. Santana went to explain the situation and why she was the justified party in this scenario but Tina cut her off before even a single syllable escaped her mouth. “Shut up,” she said, “I'm not listening to you. I could be back there getting cuddled by my girlfriend. Instead I'm breaking up yet another petty squabble between you and Rachel. What is it with you guys fighting all the time and don’t answer that because I don’t want to know. Just sit there for the next half an hour and then go back there and hug your shit out and agree to be civil until dinner time. Then while me and Britt are out on our date you two can have the room to rip into each other and fight it out to your heart’s content.” That’s more or less what happened.

At 1 pm the next day, the girls had hit the stage and knocked “Breathless” out of the park. Weeks of nervousness on Tina’s part had evaporated as soon as she had drawn her bow across the violin for the first notes of the song, replaced instead by a huge performance high. The boys were rocking out “Higher Ground” with Artie taking lead since they all figured that he was the only one that could do Stevie Wonder justice, although their arrangement was a little more Red Hot Chili Peppers than Stevie with Puck playing the driving guitar riff next to Artie. The boys were doing every bit as well as the girls had. The words “if we make it to showcase” were quickly being erased from the team’s mind and being replaced with “when we get to showcase.” They had already watched the previous nine teams and only a couple of them were anywhere close to measuring up to them, granted there were ten more groups after them, but most everyone was confident they would make at least the Top Ten. Eleven of them were excited at this, Tina was nervous. She still wasn’t 100% sure she had “Devil Went Down to Georgia” down.

Tina was just starting to get herself wound up with worry when she felt a familiar caress up her arms. When Brittany reached her shoulders, she said, “You’re totally not allowed to freak out, T.”

“But I was totally _wanting_ to freak out, Baby,” Tina said with a smile.

“Sorry, Boo. Now is time to focus,” Brittany replied.

“Hmmm, I don’t know. I'm having a little trouble with that. Can you help me out?” Tina asked playfully. Brittany didn’t answer. Instead, she swept Tina’s hair back off one shoulder and placed a tender kiss on her bare neck. Tina sighed contentedly. Brittany then placed a kiss behind Tina’s ear where Tina was very ticklish. She squirmed and shivered and then turned to face Brittany.

“You were super awesome on the first song and you’re gonna be even more super awesome on this one, and tomorrow at Showcase you and Puck are gonna blow the roof off this place. Know how I know?”

“How?” Tina asked.

“Cuz I believe in you,” Brittany said.

Tina kissed Brittany daintily, neither wanting mess up their make-up lest they incur the wrath of Mercedes and Quinn. “Thank you, Baby. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Boo.”

As the boys brought their number to a close, the girls made their way quickly back out on stage and everyone got in position, which for Tina meant front and center. As the crowd’s cheers for the boys started to wane, Tina took a deep breath and huffed it out, raised her bow to the instrument and began to play the high, fast notes that were the song’s signature. Standing in a spotlight on an otherwise darkened stage, playing her violin by herself, Tina suddenly felt very much on display. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling for her. She closed her eyes and thought about Brittany, the beautiful blonde that she loved so much that was such a calming influence on her just moments ago. Four bars in Puck standing close behind her lit up the guitar riff and the rest of the stage lights came back up. Moments later came Rachel’s beautiful voice and the amazing lyrics to the song:

 **[Rachel]** Think about the love inside the strength of heart  
Think about the heroes saving lives in the dark  
 **[Finn]** Climbing higher through the fire  
Time was running out  
Never knowing you weren't going to be coming down alive  
  
 **[Finn and Rachel]** But you still came back for me  
You were strong and you believed  
  
 **[Everyone]** Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Be strong believe  
Be strong believe  
  
 **[Puck]** Think about the chance I never had to say  
Thank you for giving up your life that day  
 **[Santana]** Never fearing only hearing voices calling out  
Let it all go the life that you know  
Just to bring them down alive  
  
 **[Puck and Santana]** And you still came back for me  
You were strong and you've believed  
  
 **[Everyone]** Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Be strong believe  
  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Be strong believe

 

 **[Artie]** Wanna hold my wife when I get home  
Wanna tell the kids they'll never know  
How much I love to see them smile  
 **[Brittany]** Wanna make a change right here right now  
Wanna live a life like you somehow  
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile  
  
 **[Everyone]** Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Be strong believe  
  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Everything is gonna be alright  
Be strong believe

               Just as she had played them in, Tina played them out, again alone in a spotlight. They were the exact same notes in the exact same order at the exact same tempo, but now she wasn’t least bit nervous, she was beyond excited. She knew exactly how well they’d done. She didn’t know how the groups that followed them were going to do but Tina knew for sure that they were going to Showcase, and for the first time that didn’t scare her. To huge applause, the group took a bow and quickly exited the stage.

               Backstage, Miss Pillsbury was waiting with her violin case at the ready. Tina quickly but carefully deposited the instrument in the case. She turned to join in the jubilation of the group but was almost immediately enveloped in lithe, muscular arms and pulled tight against her girlfriend in a crushing hug that Tina couldn’t help but feel at home in. “Boo, you were so amazing.”

               Rachel and Santana, hand-in-hand came into Tina’s field of view. “Bitch,” Santana said, “you were on fucking fire out there.”

               “Truly a superlative performance, Tina,” Rachel agreed.

               “Thank you,” Tina responded. “You all sounded wonderful. I'm so proud of us.”

               “No doubt,” Santana said, “We are some badass bitches.”

               They cleared out of the immediate backstage area for the next group. They whooped and hollered, hugged and high fived all the way back to their green room. They had been provided with a small mountain of snacks that everyone was too nervous to eat before the performance. Pretty much everyone dug in immediately. Tina was content to just sit and relax. Brittany would bring enough for the both of them and more besides, so she just let her eyes drift shut for a minute. When she felt a weight next to her, Tina said, “What did you find, Baby?”

               “Wrong blonde Cheerio,” said Quinn.

               Tina smiled and cracked one eye open to look at her, “What’s up, Quinn?”

               “I just wanted to come over to say that I'm sorry. I feel like I, maybe, harangued you into doing something that you didn’t want to do. You know the whole violin thing.”

               Tina shrugged slightly, “I agreed to it, and I'm kinda glad I did, because we kicked ass out there.”

               Quinn smiled and said, “That we did.”

               “Quinn, this is maybe none of my business, but are you and Artie together?” Tina asked. “It’s cool if you are. Obviously my affections lie elsewhere these days. I just see you guys together all the time these days.”

               Quinn was chuckling at the question. She shook her head and said, “Definitely not.”

               “Okay, it’s just that at Regionals Artie told me he had his eye on someone else, someone that had too much drama to get into a new relationship…”

               “Oh,” Quinn interrupted, “well that _was_ me. We went out once and had fun and all, but then I kissed him and it was just awkward, like what I’d imagine kissing my brother would be like, so we stayed just friends.”

               Over at the snack table, Rachel was doing her best to locate anything and everything on the table that was remotely vegan and not being terrible successful when she felt a large presence behind her, “Hey, Rach,” said Finn, “can I talk to you for just a second?”

               Rachel instinctively rolled her eyes before turning to face the towering boy. “What can I do for you, Finn?”

               “Um, mostly I was just hoping you’d accept this apology I'm gonna try to make,” he said. “And I promise this isn’t like an apology to try to get you back or whatever, it’s just an apology. That song we sang, it’s really like stuck in my head, and I know we’ve sang it twenty or thirty times in rehearsals and why it took this long to sink in I don’t know, but there was something about it… the line Brittany sang ‘wanna live a life like you somehow’… like I know the song is about the people that died on 9/11 but it sorta makes me think about my dad and how he… he, uh…” Rachel nodded in understanding. “So I kinda thought what he’d think of me and I realized that he’d probably be pretty ashamed of me because I’ve been this colossal douche the last few months, and I'm sorry. I had you and I pushed you away and for no good reason. I'm a total idiot for that. If you’re happy with someone else, whether it’s Jesse or Matt or Santana, which I still don’t get, then I shouldn’t interfere, and again, I'm sorry for being a jerk.”

               “While it’s true, Finn, that your actions recently have been less than stellar, while obviously not knowing your father, I highly doubt that he has ever been ashamed of you even for a single second, and I can assure you that at this very moment he is exceedingly proud of you. It takes a great deal of self-awareness to realize the error of you ways unbidden, a level of self-awareness that one doesn’t generally find in teenagers, so that’s something. I gladly accept your apology, Finn, and it makes you feel any better, my feelings for Santana confuse me at times as well, not because she’s a girl but because she’s so very caustic…”

               “Hey, Superstar,” Rachel was cut off by her girlfriend whom she turned to face, “I found maybe the tiniest veggie tray ever over here, so I snagged the whole thing,” Santana said proffering up, as she said, a very small veggie tray with baby carrots, cucumber slices, and cherry tomatoes on it.

               Rachel looked over her shoulder at Finn and said, “As I said, she’s very caustic at times, but then she does things like this and I just melt. It’s not something that everyone gets to see out of her.” Turning back to her girlfriend she accepted the tray and said, “Thank you, Santana that was very nice of you. Let’s find somewhere to sit. I’ll see you later, Finn.”

               “Later, Rach,” the boy said with a smile.

               Ten minutes later, Brittany, Tina, Santana, and Rachel were all sitting together on a small couch, Rachel and Tina sitting in their respective girlfriends’ laps feeding them food, talking, and laughing when Rachel got a text message. Reading it, her eyes went wide and she suddenly bolted up off of Santana across the room to say something to Puck and then to Quinn. All three made their way back over to where the girls were sitting. “Quinn, Noah, my mother is here, in Atlanta, in the building. She wants to come in and say hello.”

               Puck said, “Okay.”

               Rachel could see that Puck wasn’t putting it together but Quinn had. Rachel clarified, “She has Beth with her. She won’t come in if it isn’t okay with the two of you.” Puck looked at Quinn just nodded at him. He looked back at Rachel and nodded in agreement. Rachel turned and walked out the door to the green room. Puck pulled a pair of nearby chairs over for him and Quinn to sit on. Only a minute passed before Rachel returned with Shelby and tiny little Beth in tow.

               Since the bulk of the Glee Club still didn’t know that Shelby was the club’s benefactor in transporting them to Nationals, there was a certain amount of confusion about why the ex-coach of one of their rival schools and as far as they knew the estranged mother of their team captain was here. Rachel ushered her mother over to where she had been sitting previously. Quinn’s eyes were tearing up already, just at the sight of her daughter. “How is she?” the blonde asked even before anyone could say hello.

               Shelby smiled down at the baby in her arms and then up at Quinn, “She’s wonderful. We’ve had some sleepless nights, especially early on, but we’re doing very well now. Do you want to hold her?”

               “ _So_ much,” Quinn replied emphatically.

               Shelby walked over to where Quinn was sitting. She handed Quinn the towel off of her shoulder and Quinn quickly draped it over hers, “We’ll give you that. She’s spitting up some, don’t want to ruin your costume. Now be careful of her bottom, she’s getting over a case of diaper rash.” Shelby handed the tiny little girl off to her mother and said, “Beth, little angel, I’ve always told you that you were special and this is why. You, my beautiful girl, have two mommies. This is your mommy Quinn, but you already knew that didn’t you? You knew her because when you heard her singing today you were so still and so quiet, like I’ve never seen before. You wanted to hear your mommy’s beautiful voice didn’t you?”

               “If we get to Showcase, will you be here tomorrow?” Quinn asked without looking away from the baby in her arms.

               “When you guys get to Showcase, we will be here,” Shelby confirmed.

               Quinn smiled at the little girl and said, “Then you’ll get to hear your daddy sing, too.” Puck, sitting beside her, beamed with pride, “And your big sister, Rachel.” Quinn looked up and said, “Thank you for bringing her Shelby. I know traveling this far with an infant can’t have been easy.”

               “It wasn’t so bad, but you’re welcome. You two take your time with her. I'm going to catch up with my other child,” Shelby said. She turned to face Rachel who was sitting on the arm of the couch next to Santana. “How are you, honey?”

               “I am fantastically well,” Rachel beamed. “You must be exhausted. Have you been out there with her all day?”

               “Oh good heavens, no,” Shelby said, “I got here about ten minutes before you guys were due to go on. I still have friends in the National Show Choir Board. I got one of them to tell me which lot you guys pulled and planned accordingly.”

               “Smart thinking. Must be where I get it from,” Rachel smiled and Shelby smiled an identical smile back at her. “I want to introduce you,” Rachel trailed off as she stood up and pulled Santana up by the hand, “officially,” she continued as Santana stood, “to my girlfriend, Santana Lopez. Santana, this is my mother, Shelby Corcoran.”

               “Girlfriend, huh?” Shelby asked somewhat surprised. “It’s nice to meet you… officially,” Shelby said extending her hand.

               “Nice to meet you, officially,” Santana said coolly. They released their hands and Santana sat back down. Rachel sat back on the arm of the couch.

               “So you’ve got a solo coming in Showcase?” Shelby asked.

               “Half of a duet actually,” Rachel corrected, “with the eminently talented Mercedes Jones.”

               “You and Mercedes are doing a duet and Puck is singing? Tina, are you playing again? Because you were phenomenal. I tried for years to work an instrumental performance into the act and never managed to pull off much more than people playing the piano a little.” Tina just smiled and nodded her head. “I haven’t been able to keep up with the other groups but if you don’t finish at least in the top three, I’ll eat my shoes.” The girls all laughed at this bold claim. “I really want us to catch up, but I need to go to the restroom and return a phone call. Quinn, are you okay with her for a few minutes?” Quinn nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

               Shelby went to leave and Rachel spoke up, “M-mom?” It was the first time since Shelby had blown her off that Rachel had called her that and Shelby’s heart sped up when she did. She turned back to her daughter who was standing once again. Rachel said, “Thank you for coming to see us.”

               Shelby pulled the small girl against her into a hug. “Thank you for not giving up on me, sweetheart.”


	36. The Build-Up

               At six o’clock New Directions got the official word of what they had all been pretty sure of already, they were moving on to Showcase the following day. At this news, the parents and family in attendance decided that tonight was a night to celebrate, and so it was that all twelve members of New Directions plus Mr. Schuester, Miss Pillsbury, Shelby, Beth, Jeffrey and Mary Ann Pierce, Naomi Cohen and Stephen Chang, Maria Lopez, Hiram and Leroy Berry, Burt Hummel and Carole Hudson, Olivia Jones, Darryl Rutherford, Julia Chang, Amy Abrams, and Dana and Sarah Puckerman invaded and virtually took over Bone’s Steakhouse… after, of course, confirming that they did in fact have vegan menu options.

               The conversation was diverse and boisterous as parents bragged on their children to one another. Children rolled their eyes and huffed their embarrassment of their parents. Dana Puckerman met her granddaughter for the first time and was instantly smitten. Beth took an immediate liking to her Aunt Sarah who seemingly almost reluctantly took a liking to the small child. The baby was passed back and forth to anyone and everyone that wanted to see her.

               Eventually she got tired of being passed around and started getting fussy, necessitating hers and Shelby’s departure. However, before Shelby left she pulled Quinn, Puck, and Rachel aside and said, “I want all of you to be as much a part of Beth’s life as you can. To that end, sometime this summer, it’s looking like sometime after the Fourth, I'm moving to Lima.”

               “You don’t have to do that,” Quinn said.

               “I want to,” Shelby quickly countered, “I'm going to have to move before Beth starts walking anyway. My house isn’t remote suited to having a toddler in, and besides there’s nothing left for me there. I don’t have any family left besides Rachel, and only a few friends who I can make the drive to see regularly enough. I was an only child and so were both of my parents so I never really had much family. I want Beth to have both of her mothers, her father, her sister, her aunt, her grandmother, Quinn, your family as well.”

               “They won’t come,” she said with no small amount of certainty in her voice.

               “Well, your surrogate family, then,” Shelby said, “The Abrams. They’re wonderful people. I want you guys to come by after school and on breaks whenever you want as often as you can make time. I want this little girl to grow up engulfed by people that love her.”

               Quinn, smiling with tears in her eyes, responded, “I want that, too.”

               “Good,” Shelby said, “I'm glad. Now I need to get her back to the hotel. You two go say your goodbyes while I say mine to Rachel.”

               “Yeah,” said Puck, “I’ll see what I can do about getting Beth away from my mom, won’t be easy. Oh and hey, if your new place has a pool, I'm your pool cleaning guy, Miss C. No charge.”

               “Thank you, Noah,” Shelby said as he and Quinn made their way back to the group.

               “He must like you,” Rachel said, “I am, as he says, his fellow hot Jew and he doesn’t clean our pool for free.” They both laughed at that.

               “I hope this is all alright with you. I did sort of spring all this on you.”

               “It’s wonderful,” Rachel said, quickly adding, “fantastic, even. There’s a family show choir legacy that we have to get to work passing down, after all. Voice lessons and dance practices will be much easier to schedule without the long commute. Please let me know when you’re ready to start moving. I shall be there to help… Mom.”

               “You know, you don’t have to keep calling me that if it makes you uncomfortable,” Shelby said.

               Rachel shook her head quickly, “Not uncomfortable, I'm just not accustomed to saying it, something I am certain to change now. Can I ask you a favor?”

               “Anything.”

               “Can you come backstage tomorrow before we go on? I would really like it if you would help me warm up before my performance. I believe one or more of the thirty people at the table would gladly watch Beth for you.”

               Shelby smiled brightly at her daughter. “I would _love_ that,” she said enthusiastically.

               Rachel smiled back. “I'm going to hug you now, and fair warning, this is what we in New Directions call a ‘Brittany-hug.’ It only hurts for a moment.”

               When Rachel glommed onto her mother, Shelby felt a kind of warmth she’s never felt before. Her darling baby was clinging to her as though her life depended on it. She could feel Rachel’s heart beating against her body. Shelby wrapped one hand around the small of Rachel’s back. The other went to Rachel’s head to hold it tight against her chest. “If this is how Brittany hugs people, then I’d say it’s pretty obvious why everyone is so fond of her.”

               “It is an altogether pleasant experience. I'm not even sure I'm fully doing it justice. Brittany is considerably stronger than I am.”

               “I can’t imagine it feeling any better than this,” Shelby sighed contentedly.

               “Mom, thank you for paying for all of this and thank you for being here for me. I…” words caught in Rachel’s throat momentarily, “I love you.”

               “Oh God, Rachel,” Shelby’s voice cracked as she spoke and instantly there were tears flowing down her cheeks, “you have no idea how good that is to hear. I love you, too, honey, so much. I'm so sorry I screwed up our first meeting, I…”

               “Stop,” Rachel said softly, “It’s in the past. You’ve already apologized. I accept, I forgive you, and assuming it never happens again we need never speak of it again, okay?”

               “Okay,” Shelby answered, “For as much as I never want to leave this hug, I do need to go put your sister to bed.” She caught Quinn’s eye who nudged Puck in Shelby’s direction. Puck carried his baby girl to her adoptive mother.

               “Mom wants to know if she can take her to Temple for Shavu’ot,” Puck said. “It’s…um, I dunno, soon. The Jewish calendar confuses the crap out of me. She knows when it is.”

               “It’s fine, Noah. Give her my number, have her call me,” Shelby said reaching out for Beth. “You ready for bed, Angel?”

               “Goodnight, Baby Girl,” Quinn said.

               “Goodnight, you guys,” Shelby said.

               “Text us when you get back to the hotel?” Rachel asked.

               Shelby nodded, “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

               When she was gone, Quinn turned to Rachel and said, “Your mother is kind of amazing.”

               “She really is,” Puck agreed. Rachel couldn’t disagree.

*****

               For Showcase, New Directions had drawn lot number 10. They were performing last which meant performing sometime around four in the afternoon. Rather than spend all day watching their competition and psyching themselves out, Mr. Schuester ordered them all out of the competition hall until 1:30. Pretty much everyone slept in that morning, even Rachel made exception to her traditional 6 am wake-up time, sleeping until 6:45 and making her way down to the gym for her elliptical time. Brittany and Tina got their morning sexy times in while she was gone, fortunately for them Santana sleeps like the dead. However, they had neglected to get dressed after and found themselves stuck in bed naked when Rachel returned. She looked and the pajamas scattered around the room, then looked at the glowing couple in bed. “Are you two…?”

               “Yeah,” Tina answered.

               “And you..?”

               “Maybe,” Tina replied with an enormous grin on her face.

               “Santana is _right there_! Sleeping,” Rachel said softly.

               “No she’s not,” said the Latina, “and ‘maybe’ nothin Tina. Your ass woke me up or rather the things you were doing to our Britt caused _her_ to wake me up. Gotta say, Britt, I'm a little jealous, I never heard you scream like that.”

               “No one else ever made me,” Brittany said smiling at Tina. “Though it’s kinda too bad you two aren’t having sexy times yet. This hotel room could be way fun if you were.”

               “Brittany!” Rachel exclaimed as she turned bright red. Tina and Santana broke out laughing at her embarrassment.

               Brittany quickly threw the covers off her side of the bed and sprang out of bed to stand in front of Rachel stark naked. “RaeRae, tell me you wouldn’t want some of this hotness. Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t do me.” Rachel didn’t, couldn’t as a matter of fact. She was thoroughly transfixed with the sight of Brittany’s nakedness. “Rachel, my eyes are up here,” Brittany continued.

               “I…” Rachel started but quickly lost her train of thought. Back in the beds, Santana looked across to Tina eyebrows raised. Santana waggled a finger between the two and then turned her hands palm up, essentially asking if she was okay with the potential happenings. Tina shrugged back, uncertain. “Brittany,” Rachel continued at length, “I’m reasonably certain that had you wanted me to look you in the eyes, you would not now be standing in front of me naked looking like a porcelain goddess.” Rachel raised her right hand like she wanted to touch Brittany.

Brittany raised her left hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Rachel’s ear. She leaned and whispered, “Rae, you look totally sexy all hot and sweaty in your workout clothes, and I’d completely do you in a heartbeat if Tina and San were down for it, but your first time shouldn’t be a foursome with your best friends.” Brittany then swatted Rachel firmly on the ass. Rachel yelped and Brittany whispered again, “Some other time, maybe.” Brittany took a step back and said, “Now hit the showers, Berry.”

An obviously very worked up Rachel shot into the bathroom and began running what was sure to be an interesting shower. Meanwhile, Brittany grabbed pj’s and climbed back into bed with Tina. Santana looked over at the couple and said, “That was hot as shit.”

“T, you’re being all quiet,” Brittany said softly. “Should I not have done that? I was just teasing RaeRae cuz I know how embarrassed she gets about sexy stuff. I wouldn’t have really done her… unless you guys were okay with it.”

“My God am I okay with it, that is assuming you’d let Tina do me, too,” Santana interjected.

Tina quickly raised herself off the bed holding the covers over her and shot an odd look at Santana then flopped back onto the bed and looked at her girlfriend and said, “Santana’s a _bottom_?”

“Duh,” Brittany replied, “Where do you think I got so good at being a top? Plus, it’s good for them, cuz Rachel? Top much?” All three girls laughed at the mental image. “So you’re not mad at me?” Brittany tried to clarify.

Tina pulled the blonde against her tightly. “Mad for what? All you did was stand in front of her naked and tease her a little. I was just thinking and I don’t know where I stand on the subject of group sexy times, but I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones I’d ever be comfortable enough to even entertain the idea with, and they haven’t even started having sex with each other yet so I’ve got quite a bit of time to figure it out.”

“Y’know,” Santana said, “when you bitches talk about me like I’m not here, it’s fucking annoying.”

*****

After a round of showers, the girls went out for breakfast and spent the rest of the morning shopping, laughing, goofing around, and generally having a great time. The mall they went to was fun. In the music store, Rachel introduced Santana to Ella Fitzgerald and it was love at first listen. Tina shelled out entirely too much money at Build-a-Bear for a stuffed duck for Brittany. At Macy’s Santana bought Rachel some non-animal print sweaters while Tina found some other items much more interesting. After the mall, Brittany dragged them to a sex shop needing to complete her football player ensemble. It was an interesting experience for Tina and an entertaining one when watching the constantly mounting level of embarrassment on Rachel’s face. When Santana disappeared into a dressing room and reappeared in dominatrix gear complete with a black faux-leather flogger, Rachel looked like she was ready to pass out. Brittany made her purchase and they quickly dropped their stuff at the hotel and after a late lunch, made their way to the performance hall. After changing into costume and trips through hair and make-up, it was a little after three and group number nine was on stage.

Rachel was warming up with Shelby, both thrilled to be doing so together. Tina was sitting in a chair, slumped forward while Brittany stood behind her massaging her neck and shoulders. There was a palpable nervous energy in the room. Brittany was paying attention to Tina and Tina was paying attention to the floor in front of her, so neither of them noticed Puck walking in their direction until he said, “Sup, Princess?”

“Hey, Puck,” Tina responded looking up at him.

“So…” he said, “you got this?”

“Pretty sure,” Tina said. “What about you?”

He shrugged, “The lyrics, the guitar part ain’t hard. The badassness just comes natural.”

“But?” Tina prompted.

“My kid’s in the audience, man. I just…” Puck trailed off shaking his head slightly. “I want her to be proud of her dad, y’know? My dad’s a complete bum. I don’t want to be that guy.”

“Puck, not to be too terribly harsh, but she’s two months old. She’s not going to remember this,” Tina responded, “but even if she did or if Shelby buys a DVD of us and she watches it later, you’re a total rockstar. She’s gonna have the coolest dad on the planet.”

“Damn right she is,” Puck muttered smiling slightly.

“Puck, I wanna ask you a question that will totally distract you from your nervousness,” said Brittany.

“Yes, I’ll have a threesome with you,” he fired back quickly.

“Eeeew!” said Tina.

“We need to borrow one of your football uniforms. I’ve got a football player fantasy that Tina’s gonna do with me,” Brittany said.

The smirk on Puck’s face was epic. “I want pictures,” he demanded.

“One picture,” Brittany quickly corrected.

“Deal, full pads or just the jersey?”

“Everything,” Brittany said, “Pads, helmet, cleats. You can keep your cup, but everything else.”

“That is so incredibly hot,” Puck responded, “Come by the house when we get back to town, we’ll go to the field house and get your gear.”

When Puck walked away, Tina looked at Brittany and said firmly, “I am _not_ giving him a picture of us having sex.”

Brittany just smiled and said, “Chill, Boo. He forgot to specify that the picture had to be of us having sex.”

The lights in their room flashed three times signaling that they had ten minutes. The group gathered up and started making their way towards the stage. They made it into the wings and Brittany looked at Tina and said “You’ve totally got this, Boo.” Tina nodded but didn’t have a lot of confidence behind it.

“Brittany,” said Shelby approaching from behind Tina, both girls turned to look at her, “Rachel wanted to ask you some last minute question about her steps. You know her.”

“Okay,” Brittany said, “will you keep Tina company and keep her calm, for me please?”

“Of course.”

Brittany kissed Tina on the cheek and said, “I’ll be right back.” She made her way over to Rachel and Mercedes and quickly started running through their choreography for the hundredth time.

“You’re nervous,” Shelby said to Tina. Tina nodded even though it wasn’t really a question. “I’ve got something that might help you relax.” Tina nodded again. “Okay, close your eyes, and take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now think back to a time in your life you were most at peace, the most relaxed you’ve ever been. Do you have an image in your mind?” Tina nodded vigorously. “Good, now hang onto that feeling of tranquility. Don’t let it wash over you entirely because you have a performance to give, but just use the tranquility as a defense against any pending anxiety. Can you do that?”

Tina’s eyes popped open suddenly much more relaxed. She said, “Thanks, Miss C.”

“So what did you think of?” Shelby asked.

“Brittany… after our first time, she… when we were drifting off to sleep she was holding me and running her fingers through my hair.”

“She means the world to you doesn’t she?” Shelby asked.

Tina nodded and said, “I was looking at engagement rings today. Rae and San and Britt were all looking at clothes and I kinda wandered over to the jewelry department and I found myself wondering what kind of ring she’d like. I mean, we’re way too young to get married or even engaged, but we will someday. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”

Shelby smiled at the girl. “Then, you’re incredibly lucky, honey.”

“Why’s she lucky?” Brittany asked making her way back over.

“Because I’ve got you,” Tina answered.

Mr. Schuester spoke up to talk over everyone and said, “Alright, it’s time places everyone.”

Miss Pillsbury handed Tina her violin which she accepted. She looked back to her girlfriend and said, “I love you, Britt.”

“I love you, T,” Brittany kissed Tina on the cheek again. “Now go kick some ass.”


	37. Release

               There was anticipation in the air as New Directions filed out onto the stage. The announcer came over the PA system and said, “Please welcome back to the stage, from William McKinley High in Lima, Ohio, New Directions.” This was followed by some enthusiastic applause from the crowd. The stage was dark as Tina and Puck took center stage with the rest of the club in a semi circle behind them. Through the darkness, Tina could see Puck trying to shake off his nerves. Strangely, the fact that Puck was nervous made Tina somehow less nervous so that combined with Shelby’s advice had Tina feeling oddly good. She bumped Puck’s arm and as she raised her violin to her neck and readied her bow, she said, “Man up, Puckzilla. It’s showtime.” With that, Tina drew her bow across the strings of her violin and out came the fast-paced, up-tempo opening to “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” and they were off. The crowd recognized the tune immediately, of course, and immediately there was electricity in the air. It was wrought with anticipation. When the lights came up, Puck came in with the guitar and the lyrics followed soon after:

 **[Puck]** The Devil went down to Georgia

He was lookin' for a soul to steal

He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind

And he was willin' to make a deal

 

When he came across this young man

Sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot

And the Devil jumped up on a hickory stump

And said, "Boy, let me tell you what"

 

I guess you didn’t know it

But I'm a fiddle player too

And if you care to take a dare

I'll just make a bet with you"

 

"Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy

But give the Devil his due

I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul

'Cos I think I'm better than you"

 

The boy said, "My name's Johnny

And it might be a sin

But I'll take your' bet, you're gonna regret

Cause I'm the best there's ever been"

 

 **[Group]** Johnny your rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard

'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Devil deals the cards

And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold

But if you lose the Devil gets your soul

 

Tina’s second solo was the same as the first and she was pretty sure she had nailed it, so she felt no pressure going into this one. She just let loose and let the music flow from her.

 

 **[Puck]** The Devil opened up his case

And he said, "I'll start this show"

And fire flew from his fingertips

As he rosined up his bow

 

And then he pulled the bow across the strings

And it made an evil hiss

(Tina flattened the strings and dragged the bow across making a god awful sound)

And a band of demons joined in

And it sounded something like this

 

Puck and Tina stood close together, leaning into one another playing on their instruments, trying their best to make the The Devil’s Music sound haunting and unnatural for about a minute straight. By now the audience was clapping along which they took as a good sign.

 

 **[Puck]** When the Devil finished

Johnny said, "well you're pretty good old son

But just sit down in that chair right there

Let me show you how it’s done

 

The next part was what Tina had been having the most problems with. Playing between verses was easy enough but playing in between lines… lines that couldn’t miss their beat lest they make them all look amateurish, that was considerably more difficult.

 

 **[Group]** Fire on the mountain, run boys, run (Tina nailed her timing)

The Devil's in the House of the Rising Sun (Just nailed it)

Chicken in the bread pan pickin' at dough (Tina breathed a sigh of relief as she nailed it the third time)

Granny does your dog bite? No child, no

 

Puck played the rhythm while Tina went wild on the violin. Johnny’s Song was supposed to be impressive and bombastic and wild enough to blow The Devil out of competition, so it was generally where performers improvised a little. The crowd was loving it so Tina was feeding off of them and running with the solo, but quickly brought it back home.

 

 **[Puck]** The Devil bowed his head

Because he knew that he'd been beat

And he laid that golden fiddle

On the ground at Johnny's feet

 

Johnny said, "Devil, just come on back

If you ever wanna try again

I done told you once you son of a gun

I'm the best there's ever been"

 

One last hurdle to clear before they were done was a repeat of the playing between lines. Though less concerned that the first time, Tina was determined not to get cocky and blow it at the last minute.

 

 **[Group]** He played, 'Fire on the Mountain', run boys, run

The Devil's in the House of the Rising Sun

Chicken in the bread pan pickin' at dough

Granny does your dog bite? No child, no

 

Tina hit all of her marks perfectly once again and she played the outro which was more or less identical to the intro. She and Puck played them out, once again leaning into one another, and when they’d finished, the crowd exploded in applause. Puck bowed and Tina curtsied. Tina then handed violin and bow to Puck, who along with the other boys minus Kurt, exited the stage. The last number was girls (and honorary girls) only.

Rachel and Mercedes took wireless microphones off stands and pushed the stands aside. Kurt took a seat at the baby grand piano already on stage. Tina, Brittany, Quinn, and Santana all stood just in front of the piano sharing two microphones for the backing vocals. Kurt looked to Rachel and Mercedes and they both nodded and Kurt began playing. The choreography for the song wasn’t much, just your basic raise your arms here, walk over here, walk back there-type arrangement, but they wanted to do something rather than just stand there. Mercedes led the song off.

 **[Mercedes]** Looking out on the morning rain  
 **[Rachel]** I used to feeeeeeel uninspired  
 **[Mercedes]** And when I knew I had to face another day  
 **[Rachel]** Lord, it made me feeeeeeel so tired  
 **[Mercedes]** Before the day I met you, life was so unkind  
 **[Rachel]** But your love was the key to peace of mind  
  
 **[Group]** Cause you make me feel, you make meeeee feel,  
You make me feel like a natural woman  
  
 **[Rachel]** When my soul was in the lost-and-found  
 **[Mercedes]** You came along to claim it  
 **[Rachel]** I didn't know just what was wrong with me  
 **[Mercedes]** Till your kiss helped me name it  
 **[Rachel]** Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for  
 **[Mercedes]** And if I make you happy I don't need to do more  
  
 **[Group]** Cause you make me feel, you make meeeee feel,  
You make me feel like a natural woman  
  
 **[Mercedes]** Oh, baby, what you've done to me  
 **[Rachel]** You make me feel so good inside  
 **[Mercedes]** And I just want to be close to you  
 **[Rachel]** You make me feel so alive  
  
 **[Group]** Cause you make me feel, you make meeee feel,   
You make me feel like a natural woman 

 **[Group]** Cause you make me feel, you make meeee feel,   
You make me feel like a natural woman 

               As the music ended Rachel and Mercedes hugged each other, as did the other girls. The boys rejoined them on stage to take a final bow. The stage curtain closed and everyone in the group felt good about their chances. Once off stage, friends hugged, couples kissed, bros high fived, and one very proud mother crushed her daughter against her. “I am so insanely proud of you right now, Rachel. Words don’t even describe.”

               “Thank you, Mom,” Rachel replied. “I'm very glad you’re here to share it with me… with us.”

               “There’s nowhere I’d rather be, honey,” Shelby smiled at her daughter who returned the almost identical smile. “Now go hug your girlfriend before she glares a hole in me.”

               “Thanks, Mom,” Rachel said as she raced over to Santana.

               When Rachel was gone, Mr. Schuester made her way to her. “Shelby?”

               “Will, you did good. Really good.”

               “I had some help,” he said, “not to mention a boatload of diverse talents.”

               “They are some pretty amazing kids.”

               “It’s been one heck of a year. Nine months ago I was a bored Spanish teacher in an unhappy marriage and now I'm the coach of a rag tag Glee Club on the verge of potentially winning the first Show Choir National Championship my school has seen in seventeen years. What a transformation.”

               “I think I got you beat,” Shelby said, “Nine months ago I was miserably unhappy as the head of a soulless trophy winning machine on pace to claim National Championship number nine. I scheme and connive my way back into Rachel’s life only to run screaming the other direction. I get busted for cheating and bounced out of the school on my ass, and where do I end up? The mother of two beautiful daughters who mean more to me than all trophies in the world ever could. That’s a transformation.”

               “You should come co-direct with me, next year,” he said.

               Shelby shook her head, “No. I need to stay away from competition for a while. It tends to bring out the worst in me. Besides, the way I run a Glee Club is not remotely a good fit with your kids. You’re Mr. Rogers. I'm Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket. Severe styles clash. I’ll be happy give the kids tips whenever they need and I’ll run your booster club for you, but no coaching.”

               “Fair enough,” Will said, “So what do you figure our odds are? Winning, I mean.”

               “Don’t know. After I blew Regionals, I stopped doing my team scouting and I didn’t have time to watch them. The competition is always stiff at Nationals though. The only thing you can do now is wait.”

               “And like the song said, the waiting is the hardest part.”

*****

               Monday the kids were back at school. Everyone noticed the Gleeks were all perpetually smiling but no one really knew why and they were mostly unnerved by it. What was even more bizarre was that Brittany was wearing a football jersey. Everyone in the school knew that Brittany was with Tina so what was she doing wearing Noah Puckerman’s football jersey, and for that matter why his football jersey? It was late May. Football season ended in January. Many people thought these questions; no one actually asked them any of them.

               Come seventh period when Tina and Brittany made their way into the choir room Puck was waiting on them, “This is bullshit!”

               “You can’t have your jersey back, Puck,” Brittany said. “I’ll like totally pay to replace it or whatever but it’s too special to us now. You can’t have it back.”

               “Who gives a fuck about the jersey? This picture you sent is bullshit. You’re not naked, hell you’re not even kissing,” Puck griped showing them the picture of Brittany dressed up in Puck’s equipment wearing braided pigtails and Tina in one of Brittany’s Cheerios uniforms with the standard high, tight ponytail standing side-by-side each with a hand on the others’ hip holding a sign between them that simply said, “Hi Puck” on it.

               “You totally didn’t say we had to do any of that stuff,” Brittany said.

               “It was implied,” Puck said shortly.

               “In what way was it implied?” Tina asked.

               “She said she wanted my gear for her football player fantasy. I said I wanted pictures. There’s an implication in that,” Puck said.

               “And there she is, dressed like a football player. Fantasy fulfilled with a little bonus of me dressed like a Cheerio that was definitely not implied,” Tina said, “I'm sorry if you thought Brittany meant that it was anything more than this, but neither one of us said it was.” As Tina and Brittany walked away to their seats, Brittany was doing her absolute damnedest not to laugh and Tina was doing her best to walk normally despite being sore since the fantasy most certainly _had_ gone further than just dressing up.

               Mr. Schuester arrived shortly after them and said, “Alright everyone… or almost everyone, anyone seen Matt?”

               There was a general murmur about people seeing him in this class or that, before finally Mike spoke up, “Uh, he was for sure at school today, Mr. Shue. I saw him in fifth period, but I don’t know where he is now.”

               “Well, it’s okay. That’s what I was going to say anyway. I know you guys have finals to study for so I'm not going to make any assignments for the next two weeks. If you guys want to sing then you certainly can, but if you need to spend this time studying, I’ll write you guys a note to go to the library,” he said. No one moved a muscle. “Alright, since we’re mostly all here, there are just a couple of things I wanted to do. First there’s one more Mr. Shue Motivational Speech and it goes a little something like this: Nine months ago there were five of you in here and we sucked… like really sucked, because we weren’t a team, just a collection of individuals. You all came to this choir room for different reasons, some came to spy, some were coerced, some came because of a boy or girl that you wanted, and some of you just felt like outcasts with nowhere else to go, but you all came here and you came together and now you’re the third ranked show choir in the country and that’s a hell of a thing. I love all of you and I swear I could not be more proud of you if tried. Second order of business, an idea Finn brought to me that I hope fosters a little bit of healthy competition between you guys, from now on after a competition we’re going to vote for an MVP, and the voting for Nationals is in,” Mr. Schuester reached into his briefcase for the small star trophy therein.

               As he did, Tina spoke up, “Mr. Shue, I didn’t get to vote.”

               He turned back to face the class, Tina specifically, and said, “Well, Tina, you can feel free to vote for whomever you like but everyone else voted for you, so either way, you win.”

               Tina sat stunned for a moment before saying, “Me?”

               “Without doubt,” said Mr. Schuester, “in fact, I haven’t done voting on this, but I’d say you’re pretty much the MVP of the whole year. Aside from you violin playing, you whipped us into shape for Regionals, you got Brittany to sing, you showed us and the whole school what theatricality is really all about… and you blossomed. Nine months ago you were a shy, stuttering little girl who blew the first solo I gave her. Now you’re this bright, confident young woman who stares down bullies in the hallways and isn’t the least bit afraid to yell at us when we’re being stupid. Now come accept this trophy.”

               Tina stood up and walked to the center of the room. Mr. Schuester handed her the star trophy, she accepted it looking down at it. She huffed out a breath and laughed a little. As she turned back to face the group she wiped tears from her eyes. “I'm sorry. I love you guys all so much. You know how many Facebook friends I had at the beginning of the year? Three, my parents and Artie.” She wrung the trophy in her hands nervously. “I'm sorry, you guys, but I shouldn’t be getting this. It should be Brittany. I wouldn’t have had the confidence in myself to do any of that stuff I did without you. I blew that first solo on purpose because I was afraid everyone was going to be watching me. That’s who I am without you, Baby.”

               “T, I may have given you the confidence to do all that stuff, but you totally did it yourself. I didn’t. I wouldn’t have done it,” Brittany explained, “The trophy is totally yours, Boo.”

               Tina smiled at her girlfriend. “I still feel like you deserve some recognition here. Can I sing you a song?”

               “Only always,” Brittany said excitedly.

               Tina walked to the far side of the classroom and retrieved a stool and brought in over to set it in front of the piano. Tina patted the top of the stool as she said, “Come have a seat, Baby.” As Brittany walked towards the stool, Tina stepped over to the piano to have a quick conference with Brad. The ever silent pianist nodded his head and Tina returned to where Brittany was now perched on the stool.

               “Am I singing with you?” Brittany asked confusedly.

               “No, Baby, it’s just part of how I want to arrange the song,” Tina clarified softly. Brittany was sitting facing the club with her hands in her lap, just as Tina wanted her. She slipped her hands under Brittany’s arms and wrapped her arms around her waist and Brittany placed her hands over Tina’s. Tina rested her chin on Brittany’s shoulder. She spoke softly, “You remember our first dance, Baby?” Brittany nodded her head with a smile. “On our first date,” Tina explained to the club, “Brittany and I went shopping and just as we got back to my house Alicia Keys’ ‘You Don’t Know My Name’ came on the radio. She practically yanked me out of the car. She sang along to the song and we danced in my driveway on a beautiful, clear, cold February night.”

               The girls, minus Santana, plus Kurt all said, “Awwww!”

               “Yeah, I fell in love with her in that moment,” Tina said. Brittany smiled at this. “And in honor of that beautiful memory that I will treasure always, I give you this. Hit it, Brad.” He began tickling the ivories and pretty much everyone in the club recognized the tune immediately. Tina didn’t try to belt the song out. She just sang it in her normal register, mostly because she was still snuggled up beside Brittany’s ear, had every intention of staying there, and didn’t want to deafen her girlfriend:

I just want you close

Where you can stay forever

You can be sure

That it will only get better

 

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don't worry 'cause

Everything's going to be alright

People keep talking they can say what they like

But all I know is everything's going to be alright

 

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel for you

 

When the rain is pouring down

And my heart is hurting

You will always be around

This I know for certain

 

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don't worry 'cause

Everything's going to be alright

People keep talking they can say what they like

But all I know is everything's going to be alright

 

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel

 

I know some people search the world

To find something like what we have

I know people will try, try to divide, something so real

So till the end of time I'm telling you there ain't no one

 

No one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you

 

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

 

               When the song was over the club was cheering and clapping. Brittany turned her head to whisper in Tina’s ear, “I'm so crazy in love with you, Tina. I'm so super glad you wanted to get your Lady Vampire Kisses on.”

               Tina turned to whisper back, “Brittany, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Saying yes to you was the best decision I ever made. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t. I love you so much, Baby.”

               The girls kissed like they’d done a thousand times before in the last three months, but this one was different and both of them felt it and both somehow knew that the other had felt it too. It felt like commitment, like the lyrics and their whispered confessions just after were some sort of very offbeat ceremony and they were now married by the music and both girls felt rather elated at the notion.


	38. Epilogue: Fast Forward

** June 2010 **

**Brittany: How’s Asian Camp, Boo?**

**Tina: Eh, boring. I’m supposed to be getting all these kids to interact with each other and appreciate the arts, but I’m texting just as much as them. Miss you.**

**Brittany: Miss u 2.**

**Tina: I know we were supposed to be spending some time apart, but this was a bad idea. Mike keeps flirting with me, keeps showing me his abs.**

**Tina: Don’t worry it just makes me miss you more.**

**Brittany: Aw, Boo. I luv u. is there nething I can do 2 make it better?**

**Tina: Love you too. Can you text me sexy pics?**

**Brittany: Totally! :D**

 

               “So Q’s gone all nerdcore living with Tron…”

               “San, be nice,” Brittany interrupted.

               Santana huffed and said, “Fine. Quinn’s embraced her inner sci-fi geek and isn’t coming back to Cheerios next year, so I’ve got to recruit a new flyer before Cheer Camp next month.”

               “A flyer would be one of the girls that are thrown in the air to do the splits and such?” Rachel questioned.

               “Yeah, they have to be on the small side, usually no more than 110 pounds, athletic, flexible.”

               “Do you have any prospects?”

               “Yeah, I'm looking at her.”

               “Me?” Rachel asked. “Why would you think I would want to do it?”

               “Because you’d be a Cheerio, no one would harass you ever again. No slushies, no insulting nicknames, no being berated.”

               “As my girlfriend, shouldn’t you stop them from doing that?”

               “I’ll call them off,” Santana said, “of course, but there’s no guarantee that everyone will listen. I’ll rain down hell on anyone that messes with you but that may not stop them from trying. If you’re a Cheerio, you’re untouchable. Period.”

               “Plus you’d look super hot in a Cheerios uniform,” Brittany added. “The skirts would totally show off you’re crazy hot legs.”

               “There is that, too,” Santana said with a smile. “Plus, y’know, we’d get to shower together four days a week, plenty of opportunities for you to get yourself an eyeful of this… or a handful or a mouthful when we inevitably progress to that stage.” Santana’s smile had morphed into a devilish grin.

               “Santana, have you been watching _The Godfather_ , again?” Rachel asked.

               “No, why?”

               “You seem particularly adept at making offers I cannot refuse,” Rachel smiled before clarifying, “Joining the Cheerios, I mean, not the ‘getting a mouthful’ part.”

 

** July 2010 **

               “Santana Lopez, put your shirt back on! My fathers are just upstairs!”

               “Relax, Rach. I’m not trying anything. I was just gonna ask what you would think if I, y’know, got implants.”

               “Breast implants?”

               “No, dork. I want those weird horn things that Lady Gaga has. I just took my shirt off to get you all juicy. Yes, breast implants.”

               “Santana, you have the most breathtakingly perfect body I’ve ever seen. Why on earth you would ever want to or think that you need to modify it in any way is completely beyond me. Why look at that, you’re breasts fill my hands perfectly.”

               “Damn, Rach.”

               “Any bigger and I risk undue strain on and potential damage to my metacarpals, and you know what that means?”

               “At the moment I’m having a little bit of trouble focusing…”

               “It means I wouldn’t be able to do this as often as I’d like to, this as well as other things that require my fingers.”

               “Anyone ever tell you that you can be very convincing when you want to be?”

               “Yes, most everyone, in fact, now put your shirt back on before I lose all control and do something to really embarrass us.”

 

** August 2010 **

               “Rachel Barbara Berry, you heart breaker, you,” Tina said in a teasing tone, “Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

               “What are you talking about?” Rachel asked.

               “Well, after walking around like a ghost for three weeks and then ditching out of Glee Club for the last two weeks, Matt Rutherford has transferred schools to escape the pain of losing you,” Tina said.

               “Tina, don’t be ridiculous. I'm sure it had nothing to do with that,” Rachel said defiantly, but her face fell. “God, I hope I had nothing to do with it.”

**X X X X X**

               “You sent her _where_?” Santana shouted into her phone.

               “I know I screwed up on an epic scale,” Rachel responded quickly, “Can you just help me find her before she leaves campus? I will owe you so very much for this.”

               “As always, Superstar, you owe me shit, but you’ll owe Sunshine’s ass one huge ass fucking apology. That girl is seriously smaller than even you, she could be raped or killed or both.”

               “It’s an _inactive_ crack house, Santana.”

               “Oh, because crack heads are so notoriously dependable in their squatting habits that a high school Junior knows where they will and won’t be on any given night?”

               “Damnit!” Rachel never cussed, so she was definitely upset with herself. “Please find her, Santana. Do whatever you have to do. Threaten people, scare people. Whatever must be done, I’ll live with that emotional guilt far better than the alternative.”

               “Calm your sexy tits, Superstar. I’ve got eyes on our little ray of light.”

 

** September 2010 **

               “Artie?”  She asked tentatively.

               “What’s up, Sunshine?” the boy said cheerfully

               “I was just wondering if you wanted to be my duet partner,” Sunshine asked returning his smile. “Tina and Brittany said you were the best rapper in the group and I’ve kinda always wanted to do a rap song.”

               “Mmmm, I dunno. You got flow, Girl? Cuz I got a reputation to be upholdin round he-ah!”

               “I… probably not,” she said the smile quickly disappearing. “I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

               Artie grabbed her hand as she was turning to leave. “Hey, I’m sorry. That was… when I talk all gangster like that, Quinn calls it my ‘MC Artie’ voice. It just means I’m being silly talkin a bunch of mess. I forgot you didn’t know that. I’m sorry. I don’t really know how to talk to girls.”

               Her smile returned instantly, “That’s okay. I’m just starting to figure out how to talk to anybody. So can we be partners?”

               “Sure,” Artie replied quickly, “and we can do whatever you want. I don’t care if we win or not. I’m not that big a fan of pasta.”

               “We can celebrate at my house win or lose. Have you ever had Filipino food?”

               “Can’t say as I have.”

               “Good, then you won’t know how terrible mine is,” Sunshine said with a big goofy grin.

               Artie laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. “Did you have a song in mind?”

               “Sure,” she replied, “Do you know ‘Like a G6’?”

**X X X X X**

               “Okay, Sam, word to the wise,” Quinn said as she helped the boy clean the slushie out of his hair, “if you’re trying to flirt with me, which you clearly are, speaking Na’vi to me isn’t the way to go. You’ll only remind me of Artie.”

               “Artie? The guy in the wheelchair?” Quinn nodded. “I’m sorry, is he like your ex or something?”

               “Heh, no. He’s my brother.”

               “Really?” he questioned. “You guys look nothing alike.”

               “Well, I’m adopted, but we’re still family.”

               “That’s cool. So do you have a duet partner yet?”

 

** November 2010 **

               “Hey! Karofsky, you fucking closet case! You like picking on gay kids that are smaller than you? Well, I’m gay and smaller than you. Whachu got muthafucker?!” When Santana’s fist connected with the boy’s face she could feel her ring finger break and she couldn’t give a shit less. Santana Lopez gets hers backs.

               Later in the nurse’s office Rachel said, “That was hardly the most traditional method of coming out to the whole school.”

               “Fuck tradition!” Santana replied.

               “Can we hold hands in the hallways now?”

               Santana held the splinted finger on her right hand, “Long as you keep to my left.”

**X X X X X**

               After Burt Hummel and Carol Hudson had exchanged their vows, as the Glee Club was on their way to the reception, Brittany looked at Tina and said, “This has been like the most super fun wedding I’ve ever been to. Our wedding has to be even funner. I’ve got like so many ideas. I want our whole wedding to be like a concert. Do you think there’s like a singing minister? I mean, if there is, he’s totally gotta be in New York, right? It’s like Mecca for crazy-awesome people.”

               “Gay marriage isn’t legal in New York, Baby.”

               “It totally will be. I’m sure.”

               Tina just smiled at her, “What makes you think so?”

               “Cuz it’s New York,” Brittany said simply, “after San Francisco it’s totally like gay heaven, right? So can we? Singing minister and we sing our vows to each other, dancing up and down the aisle?”

               “Baby, when have I ever said no to you?”

               Brittany smiled, “Totally never.”

 

** December 2010 **

               When Brittany missed lunch, Tina just assumed that she was busy rehearsing her dance number at Sectionals with Mike, but sixth period Mike said he hadn’t seen her, and when she wasn’t in Glee everyone started to worry. Santana called Brittany’s parents. Rachel called her father at the hospital, when that yielded nothing Tina, in a blind panic, took off racing through the halls. The rest of the club followed suit, although less out of control.

**From Artie: Found her. 3 rd floor, science lab**

               Tina never climbed two flights of stairs so fast in her life. She raced past Artie hollering thanks back to him as she went. She found Brittany standing with her face in the corner of the room. “Baby, are you okay? What are you doing in here?”

               “I'm paralyzed by fear,” Brittany said finally turning around, her body rigid and tense, “I’ve been here since fourth period and I really, _really_ have to pee.”

               “Baby,” Tina said wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist, “what’s wrong? What are you afraid of? You know you can tell me anything.”

               “I can’t handle the pressure. I can’t have whether we win or lose on my shoulders.”

               “Baby, we all know you can do it…”

               “But I know that I can’t.”

               Tina kissed Brittany on the temple and whispered, “You can. We’re gonna win Sectionals and I’ll tell you why, because we have magic on our side.”

               “You have a magic charm?” Brittany asked excitedly.

               “I do, Baby, and it’s you. You are the most amazing thing on two legs. When I watch you dance, honey, you… you take my breath away and make me weak in the knees. I watch you move and you do things that seem almost like they defy the laws of physics. You do things that I’ve never seen anyone do. When Mr. Schuester said that you and Mike were going to be featured performers, I was so happy because there was no doubt in my mind that we were going to win because no one can do what you do, and with Mike backing you up and Santana singing, forget about it. Kurt’s boyfriend and his boy band don’t stand a chance.”

               “I think you’re magic, too, Boo. You totally have magic words that always make me feel like a million times better.”

**X X X X X**

               “So whadja think?”

               “Of your performance? Well, being 100% honest, I was a little jealous…”

               “Fucking, of course, you were…”

               “Tana, I being honest here. I was _a little_ jealous, but far more than that I was very proud of you for giving such a superlative performance. I was also very, _very_ turned on by your incredibly sexy voice, and oddly enough I found myself wishing that my name was Valarie.”

               “Hey, Rae?”

               “Yes?”

               “I love you.”

               “You… really?”

               “Really, but don’t think you aren’t gonna pay for that little swat on the ass, later.”

               “As you are already aware, I love you, too. And could I possibly pay for it sooner?”

               “Only if we can find a secluded spot that isn’t already occupied by our best lesbi-friends. You know how Tina gets watching Brittany dance.”

 

** January 2011 **

               When Coach Sylvester wanted to fire Brittany out of a canon for the Cheerleading Regionals, Rachel had immediately called her Uncle James once again and filed an injunction against her cheer coach. When Sue had demanded they pick either Glee Club or Cheerios and “stop wasting time with things that don’t matter,” not a one of them had hesitated for even a second to choose Glee. The three girls marched into Sylvester’s office. Santana dropped a stack of Cheerios uniforms on the coach’s desk. Rachel handed her three freshly printed pieces of paper.

               “What’s all this then?” asked Sue.

               Rachel said, “These are our official letters of resignation from the Cheerios, signed and dated.”

               “And these,” Santana said indicating the clothes, “are all of our uniforms. If they smell, it’s because I had sex with Rachel on top of them and this little girl cums like a rocket.”

               “Santana, that’s private!” she chastened her girlfriend, “but also true,” she directed at Coach. Without another word, Rachel and Santana turned and left the room. Brittany stood and stared, waiting for her coach to turn into her step-mother.

               “You wanted to fire me out of a canon?”

               “No, sweetheart, of course I didn’t want to fire you out of a canon. Like I already said, I wanted you to stop wasting time with things that don’t matter… to you, and now you have. Juilliard isn’t impressed by Cheerleading trophies. Show Choir National Championships on the other hand…”

*****

               When the non-Glee members of the football team refused to dress out for the championship game and Rachel struck on the idea of the Glee girls playing, Santana only had one problem with her girlfriend’s plan: “Do what you want, Superstar, but I ain’t layin down for shit!” And she didn’t. In formation she talked so much trash that the players on the other team would miss calls and run the wrong plays. With McKinley on defense for the first drive, the other team was near to scoring, so she talked dirty to the center so that he missed the call for the snap and when he finally did Santana faked an orgasm and the QB missed the ball entirely. Sam and Puck punched a hole in their offensive line and Brittany, graceful as a gazelle and could run a 4.4 40 like it was nothing, had the ball a second later and was in the endzone 20 seconds after that, her first of many trips there.

               Never one to be outdone, Rachel had gone into heavy research mode on football in the days before the game and while in formation she would critique the opposing team members’ three-point stances, questioned the wisdom of being in the nickel formation, and absolutely everything else all the way down to the brand of cleats they wore. The football players reacted to this about like one would think they would, drawing over 100 yards in Encroachment and False Start penalties trying to shut the her up. Mercedes, a professional trash talker, needed no encouragement to engage in one of her favorite activities. Tina had her blood red contacts in; she talked to no one and said nothing, just stared at people until they freaked out. It worked. Quinn, with her natural aptitude for strategy honed to a razor’s edge during her time under Sue Sylvester, quickly began reading the other team like it was a children’s story and effectively took over as team captain on defense. Lauren, a two time wrestling state champion, was having a grand time putting linebackers and linesmen down for the count on nearly every play. Kurt flirted with and smiled brightly at every homophobe that lined up opposite him, enough to throw them off their game, and when called upon retook his old position as kicker, Single Ladies dance and all.

               At halftime they were up by 10 and when Puck found the rest of the team in the locker room, he just simply said, “You assholes either get into make-up for the halftime show or get the fuck out of my locker room. We’re gonna win this thing with or without you, and if it’s without you, I’m gonna make sure you names aren’t on the plaque they hang in the trophy case. It’s gonna have a bunch of girls names on it and beneath that I’m gonna post another plaque that says, ‘Pussies Who Refused To Dress for the Championship Game’ and _that’s_ gonna be your legacy at this school.” The boys dressed but they didn’t all make it back into the game. McKinley won in a slaughter. Brittany broke the state record for rushing yards and was named MVP.

 

** February 2011 **

               It was Valentine’s Week in Glee and they were supposed to sing love songs and Santana had an itch to sing a little more Michael Jackson after the halftime show a couple weeks ago, so she enlisted Brittany’s help and Friday they walked into the choir room in matching fedoras, white t-shirts, unbuttoned blue over shirts, black pants, white socks, and black shoes and struck a pose. The band hit the music and Santana danced and pointed at Rachel and sang, “Hey pretty baby with your high heels on, you give me fever like I’ve never, ever known.” Then Brittany mirrored Santana’s motions perfectly, pointing at Tina and singing, “You’re just a product of loveliness. I like the groove of your walk, your talk, your dress.” Then both girls together, “I feel your fever from miles around. I’ll pick you up in my car and we’ll paint the town. Just kiss me baby and tell me twice that you’re the one for me! The way you make me feel…”

               On the 23rd, one year to the day after they first roamed the halls of McKinley, Princess Mariposa and Puppy made their triumphant return to school, this time accompanied by their friends Lady Barbara and Luna. For Glee that day, Tina broke out the violin once again and they performed the very creepy “Venus in Furs” by Velvet Underground. Azimio Adams transferred schools the next day.

** March 2011 **

               “Hey, Superstar,” Santana said sheepishly. Rachel looked at her in the mirror but didn’t speak. “I… I really liked your song.”

               “I wrote it for you,” Rachel replied softly. “I know that we fight _all_ the time and I know that’s not normal, but I also know that I love you and I don’t want to be without you, so I’m going to keep trying at this until I… until _we_ get it right.”

               Santana closed the gap between them and wrapped Rachel up from behind in her arms. She rested her chin on Rachel’s shoulder and leaned her head against her girlfriend’s. Softly she said, “Te amo, mi estrella, para siempre jamàs.”

 

** April 2011 **

               When Finn accidentally broke Rachel’s nose during Mr. Schuester’s Booty Camp, it took nearly the entire Glee Club to pull Santana off of him. When Rachel came to school the next day carrying brochures about her hypothetical nose job, the fight between her and Santana was so loud and so epically long that literally no one at McKinley didn’t hear at least part of it. When Santana accidentally overheard Rachel ask Brittany to come along to her appointment at the plastic surgeon as a reference to what kind of nose she might want, Santana knew what was eating at Rachel and when Mr. Schuester gave them their assignment for the “Born This Way” performance and the t-shirts about things they had struggled or were struggling to accept about themselves, she knew what she had to do to make it right.

               Santana had made her feelings clear to Rachel before, but never publicly. She had told Rachel when they got together that she wasn’t 100% okay with herself for being gay and Rachel had learned quickly that pushing Santana to be okay only resulted in bigger and louder fights, so she had quit, but sometime in the intervening months, Santana _had_ accepted herself; she wasn’t sure when, but it _had_ happened. She told herself that it wasn’t that big of a revelation anyway. The club knew they were together, they just didn’t know this about them. They may have suspected… That’s not to say that what she was going to do didn’t scare the shit out of her; it did, but she’d be damned before she let anyone see that.

               So with Rachel watching in the empty auditorium still nursing her healing nose, the Glee Club sang Lady Gaga and when the time came, Santana practically ripped her jacket off, flinging it aside, and proudly displaying to the world (or at least to the Glee Club) her white t-shirt with black letters that said “In Love With Rachel Berry” on the front, and “And Her Nose!” on the back. The look of stunned surprise on Rachel’s face and the beautiful smile and happy tears that replaced it were worth every second of fear and trepidation Santana had felt.

 

** May 2011 **

               When Jesse St. James showed back up at McKinley looking to make amends and win Rachel back he found her rehearsing Adele’s version of “Make You Feel My Love” so he thought he’d join in as a way breaking the ice. When he did, Santana thought she’d kick Jesse in the sternum as a way of breaking ribs, while shouting, “My duet! My girlfriend!” over and over. Rachel was forced to tackle Santana to keep her from killing Jesse, subduing her with kisses long enough for him to crawl away.

               Amazingly, this wasn’t enough of a message for Jesse. He paid Kristi Fredricks to take him to the Junior Prom. Rachel found out about it a day ahead of time and begged everyone to not get into any trouble with him. Santana agreed only after threat of Rachel cutting her off. At the dance, Jesse, still with stitches in his face, asked Rachel to dance at nearly every turn. Finally, she took to the microphone for her turn to sing. “I was going to sing this anyway, but since you refuse to take a hint… even when that hint breaks three of your ribs and two of your fingers… this song is dedicated to you, Jesse St. James. I know I can’t take one more step towards you cause all that’s waiting is regret. Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore? You lost the love I loved the most. I learned to live haaaalf a life and now you want me one more time. Well who do you think you are running round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts, and tearing love apart? You’re gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul.  So don’t you come back for me. Who you think you are?”

 

** May 2012 **

               The 25th was the last day of Glee for the class of 2012. They’d won Nationals for the second straight year last Saturday. The week had been dedicated to the seniors saying their goodbyes. Finn, Artie, and Mike had sung “End of the Road” by Boys II Men. Puck had sung Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day. Tina and Brittany who had spent the last two months worried they were going to wind up separated when Tina was waitlisted for NYU, her first choice, but she had just been accepted into City College’s Art Program. Brittany was, of course, a shoe-in for Juilliard.

The girls were thrilled to be going to school in New York together, but they were concerned about the future since they would be spending far less time together than they had over the last two years. They decided that their song wouldn’t be a goodbye song but a duet sang to each other to reassure themselves that they would weather the coming changes and since the music of Alicia Keys had been so prominent in the development of their relationship, they chose to sing “If I Ain’t Got You” and both girls had independently come up with plans for a surprise for the other during the song.

While neither girl was quiet as powerful a singer as Alicia they acquitted themselves quiet well in their performance. Brittany put her surprise into motion first. When Tina turned away from her as part of the choreography, Santana threw a small box to Brittany who caught it, opened it to expose the diamond engagement ring inside, and quickly knelt down on one knee, all the while still singing the song. When Tina turned back around her breath caught in her throat and she smiled a huge smile.

“Tina, I’ve wanted to do this every day for two years. You are my everything. You are my forever. You make me so super happy. I love you so much. Every day for two years, I’ve woken up happy because I had you. I haven’t wanted anything more… well, y’know, cept for this. Tina, my sweet Boo, will you marry me?”

Tina, with a big beautiful smile on her face and tears streaming freely down her face, didn’t answer. Instead she walked over to Artie with her hand out. He handed her a similar looking box. Artie got to be the guardian of Brittany’s ring because Tina knew Rachel would never be able to keep her excitement in check about this and she would ruin the surprise. Tina took it and walked back over to Brittany. “I guess I know the answer to this, but…” Tina likewise got down on one knee, opened the box, and said, “Before I met you I never felt content in my life. I always felt not quite right. Then you joined Glee Club and we were friends and that was awesome, but it wasn’t enough. There was still something missing. Then when you kissed me that first time in the costume shop, I knew I never wanted anyone else to kiss me. I knew what was missing. There was a big Brittany-shaped hole in my heart, and you jumped right in and filled it perfectly. Brittany, I want to fall asleep in your arms every night and wake up in them every morning, because here, with you, I feel safe and loved and whole like I never do anywhere else. Brittany Susan Pierce, my pretty Baby, I love you and cherish everything we have ever shared. Please do me the honor of taking this ring and making me the happiest woman in the world. Will you marry me?”


End file.
